A tale from the Waterverse
Life around Ponyville is as pleasant as can be. It’s quaint, lovely, and safe –well, mostly safe.
But if you ask a young filly named Dinky, it teeters on the edge of boredom more often than it should. She wants excitement, she wants mystery, she wants open spaces and blue skies. She wants an adventure!
Accompanied by her dutiful mother, Dinky sets out into the open plains of Equestria, seeking out fun and excitement wherever it may be found. Along the way, she meets a number of strange and wonderful creatures and characters, all with a story to tell.
So join us, take a seat, and gather up for the ride. It’s time for an adventure.
Chapters (7)
Interesting start.
One nitpick... if "that blue pony" is supposed to be Rainbow Dash, as a member of the Rainbow Dash Fan Club (S2E8), Dinky would refer to Dash by name.
5621386 Tisn't Rainbow Dash, since Derpy remembers that blue pony as a he.
5621748 Huh, that was odd. Isn't now.
5621693
Ah, so it is... the plot thickens.
5622237 Nah. That stallion is dead. This is Hooves-centric.
Sudden heel turn from Stormwatcher, and now poor widowed Bluegrass...
5786503 Each pony they meet is a symbol for something. In a few chapters it's going to make a lot of sense.
5621748
I am wondering that myself.
The story certainly looks interesting and it caught my attention, but that is making me very leery about proceeding any further.
6042166 It got removed from the group, twas an accident. No longer in Foalcon.
6042265
Oh.
The little "Featured In" widget thingamunjie on the right margin still shows it in that particular group for some reason...
Well if it is not "that" kind of story, then I will start reading.
Quite excited about it. I have always enjoyed stories featuring Derpy, seeing as we both work in the same field.
6045825 Weird, I thought I removed it. Well, it's gone now.
That certainly got off to a fast start.
I hope Dinky does not come to regret wanting to go on an "adventure".
Oh dear.
Derpy and Dinky go on a holiday together and straight out the gate they are nearly killed by the clumsy experiments of a bigoted conspiracy loony with little regard to civil airspace rules and less for weather magic science.
At this rate, somepony needs to alert the Equestrian Civil Aviation Authority before Stormwatcher harms someone else.
Eeeewww!
You know what is also "natural"? Giardia. You are one sip away from a vivid object lesson as to why you always boil water before drinking it...
5786503
Your current avatar with the grinch-grin makes this seem all the more sinister.
An angry bigot, and a maniac-depressive cutter? Derpy sure knows how to find 'em. Maybe she should have listened to the other parents at the school and instead booked a day-trip to Canterlot to visit the museums and aquariums? I fear at this rate they will eventually run into a Nightmare Lunar Eclipse Cult or worse yet, a vagrant politician out in the wilds.
6176756 Nah, not a cutter. Just someone whose grief is so great that he's given up caring for himself beyond basic survival needs.
Oh dear. They did end up meeting some sort of cult in Vanhoover. Everything considered , it appears things went better than expected, given Derpy and Dinky's clandestine nocturnal meeting in the sacred, secret grove.
Poor Derpy seems to be carrying around quite of baggage.
Derpy is going to have some awkward PTO meetings with Cheerilee in the future once Dinky starts recounting her trip.
"...a then we went to Los Pegasus and I saw a mare with a stallion, another stallion, another stallion, and another stallion, and a Griffin dwarf (she was as big as me!), and the mare took this crystal weather vane and she—"
"That's... that's quite enough for today's Show-and-Tell session Dinky."
Oh dear....
That certainly was sad. I am glad she is finally dealing with all these issues with Dinky now though...
6271925 I wanted to make a group that seemed to have a magical connection to the spiritual world. Benign, but still a bit spooky.
I am glad Derpy is now finally facing her suppressed issues regarding Crimson's untimely death in the line of service. Maybe now she and Berry will finally go visit some counsellors?
Well that certainly was an amusing story. There can never be too many Derpy stories...
The story could stand to use a round of judicious editing though. The plot needs to be tightened up in places to remove extraneous elements that disrupt the flow of the story. There are several set-pieces and characters that are introduced, but do not really relate to the overarching story...
Just my 2p.
6273090 Oh I agree it's not perfect. I could've done better so I'll certainly try harder next time round.