• Member Since 30th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Wednesday

Mister E


Eclectic observer of the odd, and the esoteric.

Sequels2

E

Zecora spins a tale in verse to entertain Sweetie Bell, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom while the mane six are off on their weekly 'saving the day' routine.


First story of the Story Time series.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 22 )

This was fantastic, zecora would troll a bunch of impressionable young fillies haha

A hilarious story, not to mention a grand accomplishment in rhyming.

Brilliant, my friend. How you finished it was just hillarious!
A true gem :twilightsmile:

5500743 Thank you OZ. I appreciate your input on the unfinished draft the other day. I was on the fence about submitting it when finished, but your kind words pushed me right off of it, and here we are. :pinkiehappy:
This is the first of my stories to have made the popular list. And when I logged on and saw that and then Deedee's and Mooncalf's comments I just couldn't stop smiling.

P.S. Your rhyming review of the unfinished draft was quite well done. You should consider writing a Zecora story yourself... :raritywink:

5500797
If you say so. :pinkiehappy:
..then I guess I'll have to try to write one as well the next days^^

Thank you for your praise, as well :twilightsmile:

5500797
WAIT A MINUTE!!
How could I forget?
A rhyming story,
and I comment.
I ought to be sorry!
..for not answering,
in kind instead.

Well, let me add here what I haven't done
The rhyming 's been good
it was smart, it was fun!

And I have to give credit, were credit is due.
You did it in alternate rhyme (for those who don't have a clue )
This is remarkable,
as it is hard.
Harder then doing it part for part.

The telling was good,
it had twists it had turns.
It surprised the readers,
and it gets what it deserves.

It deserves the attention, the reception the praise.
I enjoyed it, I recommend it, and I repeat, what I said.
..in our PMs when in rhymes I spoke
and I meant it serious and not as joke.
That I bet it's the start of a new style of story,
That entertains us with Zecoras rhyming glory.

P. S.:
Oh and PS to those who might wonder.
I'm not from the states. I'm from Germany to be exact.
So knowing that, there's no need to ponder.
And with that to my fellow bronies; I wish 'Gute Nacht!' (german good night)

“[H]ow hard could it be to write 1,500 words in verse[?]”

Harder than reading it I imagine, but you only had to write it once whereas there’s already 116 poor saps who’ve read it. :trollestia: You’re pure evil. :applecry:

5503429 That's what is says on my business cards.
Quixotic Enigma
Pure Evil
(Windows extra)
:raritywink:

CCC

Great story!

And it can't have been easy to write. I have enough trouble writing a mere peripheral appearance by Zecora, and here you have her telling an entire story!

5512406 Thx for the fav! :pinkiehappy:
And it definitely got harder as it went. Especially interactive dialog between two or more characters. Originally there were going to be a few more visits along the way, and a bit of fun in Canterlot castle, but sheesh!
That being said, there may be a sequel in the future, I mean since she did such a good job foalsitting this time, I'm sure Applejack and Rarity would be willing to have her do it again. :raritywink:

5513047 Oh, by the way, you might want to read it again. I went back and added the thirteen verses of what happened in Canterlot when Twilight's note arrived... :raritywink:

Never quite got to the verse part. The opening scene is pretty confusing as there's not a lot of detail as to what's going on and it's all crammed into one incoherent block of text. You should work on formatting and grammar.

5528703 Apologies for that. Part of the problem is that when I have something formatted properly in Libreoffice, and bring it over here, I have to reformat it for this site. (same as with Fanfiction). Normally that isn't a problem, but when I do that with verse, it inevitably messes up the verse structure. (same as on fanfiction). So this time I left it 'as is' since the dialog section was relatively small in comparison. Also it was mostly a monologue at the beginning from Rarity with incidental background from the cmc. None of which excuses the rather rushed feeling of it. My only defense? It was rushed. Took about five hours all told. And not meant to be a serious bit of storytelling. It came about after a discussion with naturalbornderpy after his blog about http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/421228/the-clop-test In which I eventually proposed to do the exact opposite. This story was the result.

5528840
Whatever gets the pen moving. Or in this case, the keyboard. Totally get about things being rushed. My own work feels rushed sometimes, especially when it's for a writeoff or something. Doesn't excuse the result though. I'm not here to condemn you or anything, I just felt like offering some helpful feedback, as opposed to an anonymous thumbs down. I see no reason why you can't clean it up.

5528846 And I appreciate it. Matter of fact, since I'm not doing anything at the moment I'll go back and see what I can do without adjusting the format. Two of my problems are that I usually edit right before bed because I have one of those get up at 4:30am jobs. And, once I put something up my brain says 'done'. It took me six months to revisit the horror of my first seven chapters of DFR. It was my first fanfic, and I knew it was rough, but OMG! Looking back I'm surprised ANYONE had read it. And not one single complaint about how awful all those dashes and poor punctuation had been. (I literally was using wordpad at the time and it corrects NOTHING.) I'm sure I still missed a few things, but at least it's better than it was.
Thank you for your honesty. I strive to improve each time.

5528906
Ah, the horrors of reading one's own early work. I recall fondly. :twilightsmile:

I enjoyed :pinkiehappy: Very funny!

Um.. It's.. Interesting? :scootangel:

oh come on I know you all where thinking it:moustache:

Now everypony knows how Colin Mochrie feels!

:pinkiehappy: I wonder it the Mane-tenance Potion could help Cranky?

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