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Flitter's Day Off

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Comments ( 5 )

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Lesbian Adagio Dazzle

Lesbian Adagio Dazzle #1 · Dec 29th, 2014 · · · 2. Core Pride; Absolute Terror ·

Talk about a bloody breakfast

Red and Black Alicorn OC

Red and Black Alicorn OC #2 · Jan 4th, 2015 · · · 2. Core Pride; Absolute Terror ·

The story is doing good so far, 16 likes and only 1 dislike! Keep up dat good work!

Comment posted by IncinerateChicken deleted Jul 17th, 2015

Hydran

Hydran #4 · Jan 8th, 2015 · · · 2. Core Pride; Absolute Terror ·

Well that escalated quickly.

You need to work on paceing though. It feels really rushed and your grammer is off. A few sentences don't roll off the tongue like they should. Still gonna read the third chapter though. Just remember to add plenty of detail too. Thatll help with the feel of paceing a lot.

tflex

tflex #5 · Jan 25th, 2016 · · · 3. The Order of Hood ·

how do you like stories?

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