Betrayed
Rainbow Dash glared at her friends, who were smiling at her. So THEY were Mare Do Well? The other five ponies had just told her about how they were all Mare Do Well (except for Rarity, she made the costumes) and wanted to show Dash how much she was boasting. Rainbow Dash though, she didn't like it. Not one bit.
"So, lemme get this straight," started Dash, "ALL of you ponies were in on it?" They nodded.
"Aren't the costumes absolutely delightful?" Rarity questioned. Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to speak, but heard Fluttershy murmur,
"Oh, I hope I did well..."
Pinkie Pie grinned. "Of COURSE you did good, Fluttershy!" Twilight rolled her eyes.
"Grammar, Pinkie. It's 'did well'."
"Oopsies! Sorry!"
"It's alright, Pinkie. Y'all all did good and played yer parts well!" exclaimed Applejack.
The five ponies started chatting about Mare Do Well, at least, that's what Dash thought, because "Mare Do Well" was mentioned about 20 times.
Rainbow Dash thought for a while, and came to a conclusion. The ponies before her had just betrayed her. These very ponies had made her feel, well, worthless. She decided that they weren't going to be her friends anymore. I mean, who wants friends that just go off and take your place? Rainbow Dash sure didn't. She didn't even know how she didn't see this coming.
They had pretended to be a hero and replace her. Hmph, some hero.
"So you ponies went out, took my place, and then came back to me like everything was alright?" Dash said, still glaring.
They exchanged worried glances, and Twilight spoke up, "Well, you must understand, it was for the bes-"
"The BEST?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "You think this was for the BEST?! If I hadn't found out it was you guys, I could've been replaced FOREVER!"
Rarity looked at Dash and lashed her tail. "Well, Rainbow, we KNEW that EVENTUALLY you would find out."
Dash looked like she was on the verge of tears. "What if I never found out? Then you would be the heroes, and I would be left. In. The. Dust!"
Pinkie Pie's mane suddenly looked less poofy, and deflated. "B-but Rainbow Dash...we hoped you would forgive u-us..."
Rainbow Dash shot up in the air and looked down at Pinkie and started yelling, "Why would you even do something that needs freaking FORGIVENESS?"
Applejack stepped in front of Pinkie in an attempt to defend her friend. "Rainbow Dash, you take that back right now."
"And why should I?" Dash was now looking down at Applejack, giving her a vicious glare. "I would take back every single moment I ever spent with you TRAITORS!"
Traitors.
Fluttershy gasped and started crying. "Wh-why would she s-say that..."
"BECAUSE YOU ARE!" screamed Dash. Twilight walked behind her and said,
"Where's your proof that we're traitors?"
Rainbow Dash whipped around to face her. "My proof," she said, "is in MARE DO WELL. I was just beginning to feel like a hero, somepony that was looked up to, until Mare Do Well comes along and RUINS it! Mare Do Well took my place! I don't have any worth now! None! Mare Do Well is the new hero, and not me!"
Rarity looked at Dash with a menacing stare, causing Dash to flinch. "Well, did you take any actual notice of how awful you were acting? You just kept on boasting, and bragging, and me and the girls decided to end it."
"Well you could've just TALKED to me!" shouted Rainbow Dash. Now everypony was crying, despite her anger, yet Dash was on the very, very verge of tears. The tension around them was growing.
The last thing she said was, "I HOPE I NEVER SEE YOU PONIES AGAIN!"
And she flew away.
Rainbow Dash didn't look back. No, why should she? She had just been...betrayed. Yes, now that was the perfect word for what they did to her. Those traitors. How could she ever call them friends?
Friends aren't important, thought Dash, I don't need them. They'll just leave you behind. They always will.
Suddenly, all the tears she had been holding in erupted out of her and she plopped down on a cloud. She sobbed for a while until hearing a tiny voice below.
"Hey Rainbow Dash! You promised flying lessons today at three o' clock sharp, and I'm here!"
It was Scootaloo, another traitor. She had asked Dash if she wanted to go see Mare Do Well.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Rainbow Dash screamed at her, and flew away.
Ignoring the filly's cries, she got as far as possible and found another cloud to lie on. She silently started weeping, realizing how lonely she had become. Nopony needed a dumb hero who's obsessed with the Wonderbolts. Dash decided that she was useless. Not awesome. Not cool. Useless. Her so-called friends had just done this to her. All because of them. All because of them. All them. All them. Not her. Not her.
These words echoed in her mind as she buried her head in the cloud. She could still see the area where she had screamed at her friends in the distance, and they were all crying from the looks of it.
Then a thought crossed her mind.
Was she still the Element of Loyalty?
She didn't really care anyways. Loyal or not, they weren't her friends anymore. They had betrayed her, THEY had betrayed her. They just did so under another name.
Mare Do Well.
Dash's eyes started to get heavy, and one last tear rolled down her face. Before drifting off into sleep, Rainbow Dash thought once more, Friends aren't important. I don't need them. They'll just leave you behind...
They always will.
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Just what we need... Another follow up story to the events of The Mysterious Mare-Do-well. One with an out-of-character Rainbow Dash, more angst than Radiohead's entire back catalogue, and an open ending because the author couldn't think of a way to conclude it. That episode certainly left plenty of bronies with an axe to grind... no wonder Merriweather Williams no longer writes for the show. She probably wishes she possessed a costume Like MDW too when she goes out... to avoid the hordes of people who would like a little word in her ear...
5404348 Um, excuse me? I had the ending all planned out, thank you very much. And I tried to keep her in character, and I worked hard. So if you're just going to ruin my day, so be it. I don't care. I worked hard, and that's all that matters.
5404354 Meh, just voicing my opinion. Doesn't sound like RD from the show I know..... Far too short-tempered and melancholy. Nice that you value my critique enough to almost let it 'ruin your day'. Remember... this comment section underneath isn't just for people to kiss your botty... It's also for readers to offer honest POVs about your story. And I've just had my two cents. And 'working hard' sometimes isn't enough..... If the raw materials aren't present in the first place. Next time, try using cement, instead of sand.....
5404367 Okay, fine, just next time, please try to be more polite.
5404370 Considering the fact I didn't insult you or swear, I don't think there was anything wrong with my tone. I felt it ended unsatisfactory, with NO closure and not even a real cliffhanger. If you truly did plan that ending, fine. I wouldn't have been happy with it... But, hey... you're the author. Your rules. See ya.
5404348 actually she is in character, it's the others who were out of character in the show. Rainbow is dead on in this. if the other girls were so concerned about her boasting they should have tried to talk to her first. what they pulled should be a last resort. Here it was the first thing they tried. She has the absolute right to feel betrayed, because she was. The only worse then a wounded enemy is a comrade betrayed. Why do you think civil wars are so bloody? They don't hold back.
The only problem with this story is that it ended where it did. I would have liked to have seen more from the fallout of this. Heck I bet Celestia would rip the others a new one for that.
5404605 I still disagree. I don't think RD is as petty as that... And she certainly wouldn't dwell on it as if it was some kind of life-changing event. Anyone who frets THAT much over what is essentially a friendship lesson needs to CHILL. Betrayal? Please get a grip. And Celestia I'm sure has better things to do than chastise Twilight & co for an innocent prank. Besides, one of the side effects from all that tomfoolery was a lot of pony's lives were saved.... And what's wrong with that?
5404697 then we are at an empass. RD does admittedly have an ego problem. But she is loyal to a fault thus the thing she despises even more then losing is betrayal. And while they meant it as a way to help her they did it the wrong way. That hurts her more then anything else. Remember Discord didn't cause her to be disloyal, he got her on divided loyalties.
well...
...
I for one think this is a very good fic...
now...for the next chapter where the traitors lives crumble around them, when they fall into despair when they realize what they have done
keep up the good work
5405812 Thank you!
I haven't actually seen any follow-ups to the MMDW episode around here... I came here way after the episode aired though.
This story could have been done better it's true. Rainbow Dash could have been less upset and instead just stewed quietly letting the wound fester until it all blew up on her 20 long laborous chapters later. She could have not assumed that they would keep up the act forever, or they could correct her when they did. She could have spent some time in long contemplation later at the Ponyville dam where she nearly died in her quest for heroism. There could have been more elaboration and leading up to her self defeating thoughts that nobody likes some dumb Wonderbolts fangirl instead of her just magically coming up with them on the spot when the author needed an excuse for her to badmouth herself.
I wouldn't call it out of character though. And compared to some stories this one isn't all that angsty. The ending wraps up relatively neatly, doesn't leave any dangling plot holes, only broken dreams. And I doubt hoards of people swarm Merriweather Williams on a daily basis demanding to know how she can live with herself for producing such a horrible episode, and also the episode called Mysterious Mare Do Well. So... it's really not that bad.
"Why would you even do something that needs freaking FORGIVENESS?" That line made me cackle
Well done.
5461884 Thanks!
5419572 Thank you.
I really appreciate your feedback!
Glad I made you cackle
WELL
DONE.
This was truly amazing and I love it and I think everyone should read it and I love it and i think my friends would like it and I love it!!!
5547578 Thanks so much!
5404605 Have you read my fanfic "Sister Dash" per chance? It may have been born from my venting, but I really wanted to make Rainbow's friends suffer... and I did!
5655980 putting it in the read it later. I also did my own called Shadow of Loyalty
5656267 Of course! And I praised yours for making the ponies suffer for their atrocities! I may be a crazed nutzo to say it, but I love it when they suffer for their foolish consequences!
Yes! Yes! Make them suffer!
5404348 Ummm there really isn't that many of them I should know I think I have read them all.
Best aftermath story ever. The reactions from Rainbow were spot on. Truly a great job you've done here. Thanks for the great read.
Pretty good, but I still hold that there are just a few to many "RD hates the Mane 6 for MDW" stories. Then again, this is probably one of the best I've read in that genera. Well, aside from super mega evil fun times.
5656318 I'll be honest I agree. This seems like a more realistic ending to the show.
6081440 Well, well... You speak my language. How admirable.
6081585 I try. XD
On behalf of my hate for the Mare Do Well episode... Take some pinkies. ^_^
This glorious string of Pinkies is suitable for any occasion. ^_^
6081603 Yay!
6081609 ^_^
6039142 Thanks so much!
6042064 Thanks XD
5656318
6081440
Yesssss...
For more suffering, make a sequel!
Also,
it needs a bit more detail in the story or a sequel
clearly, this story needs a sequel cos it's amazing!
5549537
needs more chapters
Dude. This needs more story. This is not enough
Yeah, this actually is a more realistic ending to THAT episode. I mean, I wouldn't forgive them.
one shot
this needs a sequel or more chapters
Welp, I’m pretty sure equestria is doomed now.
10363022
Too bad this wasn't extended. I felt dash forgave them too easily in the show
5404348
While I accept your argument you must also respect others opinions.
she has a point in that if you are doing something that needs forgiveness then it's the wrong thing to do in the first place.
Everypony in that moment after hearing what Rainbow Dash said and what the Mane 6 did to her: