On Christmas Eve The Cutie Mark Crusaders try to stay up to get a picture of Santa Hooves.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 21st Nov, 2013
- offline last seen Jan 13th, 2019
SixShooterOutlaw
Just a Whovian Pegasister who loves Anime, Gaming and Writing.
SixShooterOutlaw
Joined 21st Nov, 2013 ·
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Nice, but you should add more descriptions and make it seem more life-like.
Good punctuation and grammar, pretty good plot, up-vote from me.
Hey, what is Christmas? I thought it was Hearts Warming Eve!
6058068
"Hearth's" not "Hearts".
6072308 Oh yes, my bad...
6073029
lol it's okay xD
6076435 Thanks for telling me!!!
Aw. That's cute. I remember I used to do stuff like that when I was young. As silly as it sounds, this story brings back some memories.
Okay! Great little story, except I thought all the older ponies would know of "Santa." It sure doesn't sound like they know it. Also, the punctuation, is okay, but there is definitely some problems with it. For example, your sentences go like this: "How about some arts and crafts?". It should go like this: "How about some arts and crafts?" Along with "No I didn't" This sentence should have a period between the t in didn't and the quotation mark. There is lots of these sentences so maybe you could edit it for future reads.