I just recently started to write stories directly towards the FiM actively, though I have been writing for years, publishing numerous stories at Mibba and the eventual pony story, as far as to the MLP
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I had found myself in an unfamiliar bed that was never mine. It is where my story begun.
If I was to learn what happened before or who I truly had been is up to the Ponies of the village caring for me.
The first thing to come to mind is the pink mare coming over with Cup-Cakes. Apparently, she had an invested interest in my well-being.
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What?
5216388 Care to be more specific?
More deails will come along the story, since this is merely the 'Opening' chapter.
5216421 It's hard to be specific when I have no idea what is going on?
What the flying fragg is going on?!
5217401
5219442
From the first chapter, here Trixie is waking up in what will be her new home.
5219789
You know what, curiosity beats me, here's your tracking.
But please, explain what the heck is going on.
5219789 I can see that Trixie is just waking up. I'm trying to figure out what is happening to her as she woke up.
5220046 she find herself in an unfamiliar room, in a strange full-body cast.
she is in some pain, from what happened prior to the event, but much of these things are to be explained soon in the comming chapters.
Scene? What are you talking about with scene? And where did Chrysalis' name come from all of a sudden? This better start making sense soon. My brain can't handle much more confusion.
5249660 Scene, as in the stage on which Trixie is supposed to perform on, she was after all a stage performing magician as I recall.
Chryslis was refered to by name in this chapter, if that is what you mean?
Maybe I see the picture clearer, because it is my idea, in which case I am biased and would need some help to see what is confusing you.
I have plans for a few events up ahead, not sure if these would help, in which case you will see within a few weeks.
5249757 No. What I meant was why did the name 'Chrysalis' come out of Trixie's mouth in the first place? She might have heard of her because of the Canterlot Wedding, but she never heard her talk?
As far as why I am confused; why is Trixie in a body cast with wings? Who beat the crap out of her so bad to put her in a body cast? How did she end up in Ponyville? Why would a stage be set up for Trixie in the first place? Why isn't Pinkie surprised that Trixie has amnesia? And what is Chrysalis doing in Manehattan anyway? This are just the questions off the top of my head.
5249967 I guess that may need some explanation along the road. I don't think I did write details about this detail.
Very little is known about where trixie is at any given time, aside from when she is in Ponyville at the occasios.
Technically, a cast for a Unicorn doesn't need wings.
I guess this part would ask for a chapter, later in the story, I have been considering to write this already.
Some other yet unnamed Ponies were asked to beat her unconscious, in order to haul her in.
The amnesia is induced and reinforced by the magic used for the cast.
Both are Pinkie's idea.
Chysalis is there, because Pinkie Pie braught her there in a previous unrelated episode, with little to no relevance to this story, at least at this point.
5250138 I hope all this is explained in upcoming chapters. In not, nothing will make sense. I now have an idea of what is going on and I hope I am wrong.
I'm sorry, but I just can't follow what's going on here, even reading the explanations in the comments only raise further questions. Sorry but this is the last chapter I read.
5264399 Since you are kind enough to express how you feel, could you point out what or where you feel details are missing of just plain confusing?
The story will explain how and why Trixie got to where she is now in later chapters, which is part of why I can say so little about these aspects. One of these chapters is already completed, it is coming up next week, or any time after the 17th, this month.
If you for what ever reason do not enjoy the story, I will respect your position.
At this point, I have only depicted her where she is.
5250213 Care to hint as to where you see this going?
Or what you seems to like it not to do?
5265979
Okay, you know what, last shot. I'll keep following this, but it won't be on top of my 'to read' list.
Anyways, good luck with it.
5250213
5266093
The next chapter is now available.
This should explain more of what is going on, even if I'm not sure if it answer all or even any of your personal questions.
Even if it is cronologically earlier, I felt this section better saved til a bit into the story.
Hope my choices makes sense to you, if not, feel free to let me know.
So, from what I gather, Trixie was invited to Ponyville, where she was somehow knocked unconscious, made to have amnesia, covered in a get that will ensure that she is reprogrammed to replace Pinkie Pie as the Element of Laughter? Am I wrong?
5293284 I guess you could read it as an invitation, but I wouldn't see it as a option that was accepted to turn down. I see I do have more details to cover on this part.
Getting knocked out can have the effect of amnesia, even if I guess it is an effect that is enhanced and reinforced in this case.
Replacing Pinkie? I think the best you could get is a last minute stand in as a back-up, if you don't mind me saying.
It was apparently ok to set Discord in stone in wait for the Pony capable of Reforming him, right? Trixie was never quite on his level, but she was way out of line. There are consequenses to such behaviour, isn't there?
5294915 Yes, there CAN be consequences, but not forced reformation. Bring her before the princesses to face judgement. Force her to do community service for every resident of Ponyville for a day or two each. This is akin to kidnapping and brainwashing. And see that's the case, I'm out and downvoting.
5295212 I think I like the idea of 'Community service'.
From canon, we have no idea as to what harm she may have done to any other community or the citizens of the communities she has been to, there for I can't judge her for what she may have done outside of Ponyville at this point.
The question would as to how to bring her to see the errors of her former ways? This subjects has been touched in other stories, to the best of my knowledge.
What if Trixie did not know any better way?
Giving her a second chance to see other ways?
Part of this would be in informing others how best to treat Trixie, in order for her not to be provoked into doing anything that is not desireable.
Ok, I have just read this. So, pony has a reflective sheen to their coat, which could be a cast or layer of plastic-wrap stuff. Does it cover their face, their eyes and mouth? It's unclear what it is or what it means. It also appears to be covering the whole building. The character wakes up in an unknown building, yet they automatically assume it to be theirs? If a pony is found unconscious, the character who found them may not have known where their actual home is. It is not reasonable to assume this house to be theirs. The story does mention a lack of windows, but doesn't draw enough attention to that. A lack of windows is quite significant as it means that you do not know where you are. You could be high in the mountains, or deep underground, or just in some random town, or in a mockup house in the ever free. A lack of windows implies a kind of prison, and should be a red flag for the character.
Another thing, the character has wings. As far as the chapter goes, it makes them seem like a prosthetic, or made entirely out of the casting material, with no real wings inside. Or are there real feathered wings inside of their fur colour to match? I think you need better descriptions of these wings. The character also has very little emotional reaction to these new wings. They're just suddenly there for some reason and get forgotten about quite quickly. The character also has a very neutral and logical reaction to them. They go over how spells to make wings are very difficult and only temporary, asking who would put wings on them rather than why they and what it might mean for them going forwards.
Overall, the story feels very neutral, delivering all the information in a plain format. There doesn't seem to be much emotion from the character and the reader's attention isn't drawn to anything specific other than the reflective plasticky casting over everything.
This seems quite strange. Casts don't normally just 'come off' by themselves. It's quite a strange cast, being clear and flexible. But you describe it as if it serves a medical purpose? Sure, the character just woke up after something happened to them, but there has so far not been any physical damage to their body described.
[Not yet finished the chapter]
Of, so the cast was created by Twilight to help her recover. Although the wings are still unexplained, Pinkie simply suggests to hide them. You also use scene in the wrong context. A scene can be described as set in a movie, or as an act. A stage is not a scene since it does not depict a specific environment such as a forest or a castle. Scene is similar to scenery, scenery being what you see out of a vehicle window as you pass by. The conversation with Pinkie is overall confusing and what the character seems to understand is inconsistent. The 'exposition of earth ponies make food' is inconsistent with Trixie knowing how unicorn magic works and the logistics of a wings spell. That earth ponies make food and pegasi control weather being explained here just feels out of place and doesn't make sense from the story's point of view.
"The town alicorn" - implies that it is common for a town to have it's own 'town alicorn.'
Queen Chrysalis seems out of place here. In canon, she is a villain and invaded Canterlot. You describe her as if she is not a villain, but a random celebrity. Either this is an AU where Chrysalis is not evil and lives in Manehatten, or this story is confusing. Either way, it comes out of nowhere and is left completely unexplained.
So, the cast was actually applied by Pinkie to do something in order to force her to perform. The wings still seem unexplained. Forcing someone to do something against their will is never a good call solution. Nobody likes being forced to do stuff and it would most likely backfire. The ponies don't like who she is, so they seem to be planning onto simply remoulding her into something else. If they caused her amnesia, then they are clearly in the wrong.
I think you mean, on set. When talking about physical stages such as those in theatres, you refer to the stuff as the set. In a 3D software, then you would call it the scene.