Warning Signs
Rainbow Dash's life was complete, she had an adopted daughter and a loving husband. Life was good. she swooped down to her cloud home and landed with a slight bounce on the porch. Rainbow kicked open the door and slowly walked in, an orange blur ran up an tackled hr to the floor.
Rainbow laughed, "Slow down kid!" Scootaloo sheepishly smiled and hopped off. Rainbow stood up and asked,"So how was school Scoots?"
Scootaloo sighed, "It was terrible! we were learning about cutie marks again and Diamond Tiara was bugging and making fun of me the whole time! And at lunch i punched her because she was saying that I would never make the Wonderbolts and i would never get my cutie mark!" she lay down on one of the couches and cutrled up into a ball.
Rainbow sighed, "Its cool Scoots, i can understand why you would want to punch her. I was bullied all through my childhood and even in high school. Does Cheerlie want me and Soarin to come in tomorrow to talk with her?" scootaloo nodded and sat up. "C'mon Scoots cheer up! were not gonna punish you."
"Really?? My father would have punished me no matter what..." Scootaloo responded.
"We would never do that!" Rainbow leaned in and whispered, "But if you ate Soarin's pie... it was nice knowing you!" They both laughed together.
Soarin walked through the door and stopped,"Did I miss something?" He put his flight goggles on the coat rack and walked into the living room. he sat down next to Dash and smiled.
"We have to see Cheerilee tomorrow cos Scoots punched Diamond Tiara, she was mocking scoots about not having a cutie mark." Soarin sighed and nodded.
He looked to Scootaloo and saw that she was shaking in fear of a punishment. Soarin got up and placed a wing over her, "Don't worry about it Scoots, thats tomorrow not today! so lets enjoy it and eat some pie!" He walked into the kitchen and took out a pie from the fridge.
Rainbow nodded, "Soarin's right Scoots, relax we are not going to punish you! C'mon" She smiled at the filly and got up. Rainbow walked into the kitchen and grabbed some plates and a knife out.
She reached over and grabbed the pie just before Soarin bit into it. She cut the pie up and plated it before she gave a slice to Soarin and Scootaloo. "Dig in guys!" They both nodded and dug in. Rainbow laughed before digging in herself.
After they were finished Rainbow yawned, "Guys I'm heading off to bed, it was a long day at the Cloud Factory." she hugged Scootaloo, kissed Soarin and headed up the stairs to her bedroom on the 4th floor.
Rainbow flopped on the bed and fell asleep in seconds. Soarin smiled as he cleaned up the plates and directed scootaloo upsairs to her bedroom. He smiled to Scootaloo, "Good night Scoots, don't forget to brush your teeth." He hugged her and headed up to his bed where his wife was peacefully sleeping.
He also flopped down on the bed and drifted into sleep.
- the next morning -
Rainbow woke up to someone knocking on the front door. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and groggily made her way down stairs to the door. The knocking continued and rainbow called out, "Just a second!!" Rainbow opened the door to find Derpy waiting her mail.
"Morning Dash! Your mail!" Derpy cheerfully handed over her mail and bowed. Dash smiled and quickly grabbed her a muffin.
Rainbow put it into a bag and gave it too Derpy, "Here ha go Derpy! Have a good day." She tossed the bag over and Derpy gleefully caught it and zoomed off.
Rainbow smiled as she closed the door and looked through her mail. She muttered out loud, "Bills, bills, Soarins fan mail, letter from Twilight, more bills- wait! Letter from Twi?!" Rainbow chucked the mail on the couch and eagerly opened the letter from Twilight.
Rainbow hadn't heard from Twilight in ages! She was currently at Canterlot Castle with the other Princesses disgusing stuff about Equestria.
The letter said: Dear Rainbow,
How is everything going in Ponyville? Everything is fine here, we are disgusing what to do with Cloudsdale at the moment. It's interesting learning about their history and how it was once ruled by a Royal Family. You probably know that but still! So fascinating! Anyway I'll be back in a week at the most, I can't wait too see you guys again!
P.s talk too Scootaloo about punching Diamond Tiara, I got a letter yesterday.
Can't wait too see you guys again! From Twilight.
Rainbow smiled at the letter but also a bit creeped out how she knew about Scooaloo's issue with Diamond Tiara. She yawned and put the letter down before heading back up too bed.
- at Canterlot Castle -
A purple mare with bouncy dark mane with sparkles in it suddenly opened her eyes and got up. She was a tall mare with rainbow coloured eyes and a six pointed rainbow star with wings. She had no time to think as she burst out of her quarters and down a hallway to the throne room. The mare stopped at the entrance and looked at the guards.
They nodded and opened the doors letting her through. As soon as the doors opened she ran over to the table in the centre of the room where the Princesses were talking. She stopped at the end of the table and panted in exhaustion.
Celestia looked over to the mare and recognised her. Celestia knew the only times the mare came out was for food, visions and the toilet. She curiously asked, "What's wrong?"
The mare stood up and swallowed, "I-I saw a vision of a dragon flying over the western mountains and rampaging through the Everfree! If we don't stop it the dragon will Destroy Ponyville and Cloudsdale!!" The mare sat down panacing about the future and all of the destruction to come.
Cadence got up and walked over to the distraught mare. She sat down and put a wing over her. Twilight looked at the other princesses and wondering what was going on.
Twilight cleared her throat getting everyone's attention and asked, "I don't know about everyone else but what the hay is going on?!"
Celestia looked to Luna who nodded in agreement. She sighed and replied, "Twilight this mare is Spectrum Destiny Princess of Destinies and Cloudsdale."
Twilight looked at Celestia in disbelief, "She can't be the Princess of Cloudsdale! There are no surviving members of the Royal Family! They were all killed in a fire! This isn't possible-" Luna put a hoof over her muzzle to silence her.
"Twilight it is possible, Spectrum was saved by her mother in the fire but sadly she couldn't save herself. Spectrum please remove your shoes." Luna replied.
Spectrum nodded and stood up. She slid off her shoes and a blue tipped purple horn appeared on her forehead, her mane and tail started flowing, stars replaced the sparkles in her mane and tail.
Twilight sat there with her jaw hanging wide open.
Celestia chuckled at Twilights reaction but her smile quickly turned into a frown. Celestia got up and stood next to Spectrum, "Twilight if Spectrum's vision was correct then we in deep trouble!"
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Rainbow Dash 55 · 9.7k words · 26 11 · 1.4k views
- Sweet_Harmony · 1.1k words · 56 6 · 2.4k views
- NightGlider Shimmer · 9k words · 46 15 · 2.8k views
- Sky_Jayne552 · 3.9k words · 25 3 · 1.1k views
- CP_BEN · 4.3k words · 37 8 · 2.8k views
- PersephoneSunSpark · 2.9k words · 79 5 · 4.8k views
- BronyNinja209 · 4.5k words · 25 17 · 1.1k views
- TheSouthernBrony · 3.5k words · 39 12 · 3.3k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.099 seconds
Total duration
1,065 users online
1,542,324 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
If by most people you mean everyone, then yes.
Not to sound too harsh but you are bringing this upon yourself with a shitty sounding alicorn OC
5111499 her name is Princess Spectrum Destiny, she lives in a mountain near cloudsdale and she has only just made herself known to the public because she has been grieving about her parents for 10 years since the night they were cruely taken away from her
She has a title, time in history and a backstory you know
...
5111499 Why are being mean? I know your trying to be honest,but people are brutal
5112909 Spectrum that's only one person while he says everyone that's kinda stupid if you look at it for a secound
5111499
5111499
5111499
5111499
5111499
5111499
5111499
5111499
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/506/267/cb0.jpg
I mean, come on. That was just plain rude...
5111499
i do NOT appreciate you being mean to my friend being mean gets you no where trust me i have have had my share of hate comments but that was actually about the story you are just insulting her and you know what your name is really REALLY shitty too i mean come one hatty_hattington that is just retarded how do you feel about that ha and i mean that i think you name is rediscussed and for one think spectrum destonys name is amazing don't be mean to her i would be suprised if she blocks you
i have one thing to say to you
and this.... is not acceptable
that was just plane our mean, rude, and just unacceptable i am with calm winds when he said that was just rude so go take you wining and complaining off of fimfiction and don't be an ass and maby others will be kind to you insted
5113100
i agree with you calm that guy is an ass
5112909
i love this story it is very good
5111499 This Song for you PLOT - HOLE
"She has a title, time in history and a backstory." When
is she making an appearance in the story?
5120496 I meant what tme in the history line she is, if that makes sense
She is like the solar sisters, crystal princess, twilight and rainbow dash, immortal she is just older than cadence by about 4 or 3 years give or take
5120451 Hey, hey, calm down. I already apologised on Destiny's user page
5121394
Sorry comments like that really ruffles my feathers. One of my favorite author on fan fiction pull out because of comment like that. 
So once again soory for going off like that.
5120676 next update coming soon?
5121754 yeah
school is starting next week but I'm on fimfic at school most of the time so i will be getting a new chapter out soon
wait you gonna be on it?!
Forgive me if I bring up old wounds, that not the intention here. I'm in agreeance that you shouldn't put an OC Alicorn in the story, not because its a bad idea, but because of how difficult it is to do right. Alicorns have the inherent nature of being Mary Sue esk and thus are difficult for new writers to wield. Alicorn OC's work best when you have well defined lore and rigid rules for them and an interesting character to back them up. Writing a good Alicorn OC is higher then your level of writing write now.
Your story has a fantastic idea, what happens when you have an Alicorn go through the process of losing someone they love... and then yours has a happy ending in which Soarin does become an Alicorn. However, your writing is meh and your dramatic Loyal Dash scene really wasn't that interesting. It was too dramatic, too over the top and not enough set up. We don't feel anything for Dash dying because we have no thought process of anyone, have no real connection with this Dash that you've created and you have a bad guy for the sole purpose of plot device to make things happen.
Plot devices are fine, but not the ultimate most powerful of all evil dragons. (To be fair, the Trixie Comment was hilarious though). What I would work on before you get into any kind of the weirdness that is called Alicorn OC's, is simple stories where we get to understand the characters and what they're thinking, what their hopes and dreams are and really get to know who they are. You've thrown us into a climax just to get Dash to ascend. If the ascension isn't the point of your story, (and its not according to your summery) it should not be this dramatic and it shouldn't be this early in the story either. So give us some lead up, let us know who these characters are. We do we care about these characters, why is it even important that Dash was THE ULTIMATE LOYAL? So what, its another ascension, whoop-de-doo, seen and read a bunch of these.
That's the kind of feelings I get from this. So make us Care about your Dash, maker her interesting, is she the show Dash? Who is Soarin anyways, everypony seems to envision Soarin differently, so we need to know who the heck he is. Also, the line about We are not just normal Ponies, we are the elements of Harmony and the wonderbolts is actually a turn off. No one would ever say a line like that, except in the most cheesiest or funny of instances... not in an epic nit grit contest against a Dragon by intimidating him by merely saying who you are. Why should this dragon even care.
Just some suggestions. Great Potential, bad execution.
5188254 Well then, you do know this is HER story and see can do what ever she wants with it. Even put you in it and kill you off you know.
5188254 your right Glacier your right, I'm changing it so the story is more interesting, taking out the 'meh dramatic' scene and making the story longer
5245774 Russia you right I could put her in my story and kill her off but I won't cos I'm not that kinda person. I'm thankful for you sticking for me :) thanks
5247158 Yeah you could always do a story with your oc a later time I fully understand just can't wait for the next chapter!
i think you mean course
Just re-read this chapter since you re-wrote it a little
I really liked the revealing of Spectrum. I gotta admit, i always thought your concept of the enchanted shoes hiding the fact that she's a princess to be a very creative concept
5568291 hehe ^^' thanks Calm
WHOO
You added youself! In the story, awesome!
5572118 umm thanks?
I
this new first chapter a great built up for the dragon seen.
Let us have a look in the daily life of Soarin, Rainbow, and Scootaloo.
Keep it coming.
Are you gonna update
5111499 really just really
5763862 dont worry about it, everything has been sorted out right Hatty?
5763861 I am don't worry! ^^
5764196 YAAY
5764195 sorry it's just I don't like people being said that something is not good abt them but if everything's sorted out then ok ^_^
Nice story, I really like it.
Have you thought about someone helping you out with editing? There are still quite a few mistakes. I imagine that's most of the reason you got all those dislikes.
6020233 I have thought about asking but Calm Wind (Epic Author) had offered to edit this ^^ Stupid disabilities
are you going to carry on this story
I think it's awesome 
6196173 I will but I'm kinda running out of idea's for my stories so it's taking a long time. And thanks ^^
Sorry I haven't read the story yet. The plot is interesting though. But I'm willing to help you cowrite and edit this story if you like.
What’s gonna happen next? Please update soon.