The Most Excellent Battle Of Chaos Ever
“So why are we here again?” Slash asked, looking up at Jason with a bored look on his face.
“We are here, my good friend, to watch the Breezies... whatever the hell they are.” Jason put his arm around Chrysalis, getting comfy. “It means a lot to Fluttershy and she could use a confidence boost after that Flutterguy incident.”
“I was quite surprised, who knew she could sing like that?” Chrysalis asked, laying her head on Jason’s shoulder. She was currently in the guise of a female human with blue hair and green eyes. She wore a lacy black dress, and her crown rested upon her head.
“I think the Breezies are arriving,” Slash pointed out, looking down the road out of town. Soon enough, like a swarm of locusts, the Breezies began to glide into town.
Squinting his eyes, Jason could see that the Breezies were tiny pony like creatures with large gossamer wings and very fairy like features. “Pony fairies...” Jason muttered, staring at the creatures in disdain. “Freaking pony fairies...”
“Oh stop,” Chrysalis said, rolling her eyes. “I think they look rather adorable, I can taste the love just pouring off them,” she purred, licking her lips.
“Calm down, we’re not going to feed on the Breezies,” Slash said, throwing a rock at her. She glared back at him, rubbing her head.
“I think something’s wrong,” Jason pointed out, watching as a group of Breezies left the others, heading toward them. “Aw crap...” he sighed, barely flinching as the little creatures collided with his chest.
“Uncatalogued DNA detected,” the Omnitrix chirped, scanning one of the tiny beings. A second later it sparked a bit, activating a transformation. Jason just blinked, now in the form of Hodgepodge.
“Oh come on,” he pouted, looking at the Omnitrix. “Don’t tell me these Breezies are making you go all wonky.” he tapped the Omnitrix, though nothing happened. “I hate you all,” he glared down at them, to which they responded in their own language.
“Oh my!” Fluttershy shouted, flying over faster than Jason had ever seen her fly before. “Are you alright?” she asked the Breezies as she picked them up with a concerned look on her face.
“I believe they’re fine Fluttershy, now please, get them as far away from me as possible,” Jason said, getting to his feet and brushing himself off.
“Jason! How could you be so mean!?” Fluttershy gasped, giving him a glare. “These poor creatures just got separated from their friends and you won’t even comfort them!?”
“Fluttershy,” he began, crossing his arms. “Just being near me, they’re making the Omnitrix wig out. I can’t change back until after they leave,” he explained, shaking his head.
“Oh,” Fluttershy said, the fire leaving her eyes. “I’m sorry, Jason.” She placed the Breezies on her back, nuzzling one. “I’ll take these little ones back to my cottage, they must be so scared.” she said, beginning to trot off.
“Hmm...” Discord pondered, popping into existence, causing Chrysalis to jump in surprise. “I detected a surge in chaotic magic...” He scanned the area, eyes widening before he slithered over to Jason, getting in his face. “So it’s you! You think you can just come up in here and be me?! There’s only room for one lord of chaos here!” Discord declared, slapping Jason across the face with a glove. “I challenge you to a chaos duel!”
Jason blinked before returning Discord’s slap with a large fish across his face. “Your challenge is accepted.”
“Fine, we shall meet in the center of town in an hour, don’t be late.” With that, Discord exploded into a cloud of confetti.
“Did that just happen?” Chrysalis spoke up, walking over to Jason and putting her arm around him.
“Why yes it did, and I’m going to mess him up,”
“You do know he’s been doing this for a lot longer than you right?”
“I do, but I’ve got something he doesn’t.”
“What?” Chrysalis asked, tilting her head.
“The internet, the most chaotic thing humans have ever produced.”
***
The center of town bustled with energy as the townsponies gathered to watch the duel. They gathered on makeshift bleachers, all chattering amongst themselves. Despite the initial panic, the town had gotten rather excited about the duel, it wasn’t everyday two draconequui went at it.
“Fillies and Gentlecolts!” Pinkie shouted through her microphone, getting everypony’s attention. “We welcome you to the first annual, most excellent chaotirific duel!” she giggled, a bright smile on her face.
“That’s right, Pinkie!” Spike said from his seat next to her. “This is the first time a duel like this has ever happened! Now we have Discord, reigning Lord Of Chaos, and the challenger, Jason Hughes, A.K.A Hodgepodge!”
“This is such a bad idea...” Twilight grumbled from the VIP area. “Doesn’t anypony else think this is a bad idea? I mean really, it’s a chaos duel!”
“Oh horse apples Twilight,” Applejack said, smirking over at Big Mac, who was busy at their stall, selling refreshments. “Ah think this is gonna be fun!”
“Ssh!” Rainbow Dash glared, pointing at the empty square. “I think it’s starting!” she shouted excitedly as both Discord and Jason appeared on opposite ends.
“Are you ready for this?” Discord asked, cracking his tail. “I’m going to trounce you!”
“You know,” Jason said, tapping his chin. “We look the same, it might confuse people.”
“Hmm... you’re right, one of us should change,” he said, nodding. “Not it!”
“Fine,” Jason said, touching the Omnitrix to activate the evolution feature. “Ultimate Hodgepodge!”
After a bright green flash, the crowd went quiet, not sure what to make of the creature in front of them. Like it’s normal counterpart, this draconequus was made up of several different animals, though which ones were lost on the audience. His left leg was blue, while his right looked like it came off of Wildmutt. His body was now grey with darker grey spots, his tail being that of XLR8. His left arm belonged to Rath while his right looked like it had been taken off of a mummy. His head had been replaced by a wolf’s, its mane replaced by a strange green goo. His left horn was now a purple crystal, the other a strange tentacle-like appendage with a short tube-like section on the end. His wings had been replaced, one being bat like, and the other insectoid. Finally, he had an odd metallic structure rising off his back.
“Well? How do I look?” he asked, striking a few poses while Discord judged his new appearance.
“Well it’s certainly chaotic, I applaud you,” Discord said, clapping his hands together. “Now let us begin!” he declared, snapping his fingers. He turned a few balloons into bats, watching as they flew off.
“Not very imaginative,” Jason said, shaking his head. “Watch this,” he said with a finger snap of his own. Lyra and a few other ponies appeared in the arena.
“What the?” Lyra asked before Jason cast another spell. A suit and sun glasses appeared on her and she got up on her hind legs. Music started to play. Lyra started to dance, and the other ponies in the group started to join in.
“Behold the power of Gangnam Style!” Jason declared, tapping a foot to the beat.
“If you think a little music is going to beat me, you're mistaken.” Discord said with a snort, grabbing a lamppost. He twisted it around into a pretzel shape before starting to munch on it.
“Prepare to be ‘serenaded’ by He-man!” Jason said, making strange motions with his fingers. A strange muscular human male, wearing various amounts of purple. He started to sing, throwing his head back and forth.
“Really? Is music all you got?” Discord asked, turning He-Man into a cactus. He laughed, making the sun turn green. “Beat that.”
“Oh, I will, with the power of rule 63!” Jason smirked, turning the assembled ponies, Discord and himself into the opposite gender.
“I feel violated!” Rarity cried, looking at her new male body.
“Well this is new,” Discord said, blinking, groping the two orbs that had grown from his chest.
“Hey knock that off, there are children watching!” Jason said, slapping Discord upside the head.
“Oh yeah I forgot,” Discord said, releasing said orbs. “Well this was a good one, but I can do better!” Discord returned everyone to their normal genders, only to change their species.
“This is so awesome!” the now griffon Rainbow Dash shouted, looking at her new talons.
“No it isn’t!” a zebrafied Twilight shouted, frantically trying to look for her horn with a whimper.
“Oh yeah well... I hope you step on a Lego!” Jason stuck out his tongue and crossed his arms.
“Whats a leg- ow!!” Discord shouted, falling on his ass, holding his lizard foot. “Oh Faust make it stop!!” As he hopped around on his hoof, a small square plastic block could be seen stuck into his foot.
“Ha! None can withstand the power of the Lego brick!” Jason laughed, going into full on maniacal laughter. “And now, with the help of Kyoji!” Jason shouted, a blue coat appearing on him. “This hand of mine glows with an awesome power! It’s burning grip tells me to defeat you!” He held up his Rath hand, which was glowing with power. “Take this! My love, my anger and all of my sorrow! Shining Finger!” He rushed forward, a golden energy beam erupting from his claw. He caught Discord in the head with it, causing an explosion. Discord tumbled along the ground, tongue hanging from his mouth, his eyes replaced with swirls.
The crowd was stunned for a few moments before stomping in applause.
“Yes! I winnz teh internets!” Jason declared, starting to dance in a strange flipping, jerking, spinning, twirling way as music plays from an unseen source.
“Ok Jay, ya can stop now,” Applejack said, starting to get rather creeped out by the reality defying dance.
“Oh no, I’m just getting started,” he said, smirking as he teleported over to Derpy and picked the startled mare up in his mummy arm. “Yo dawg I heard you like muffins, so I put a muffin inside a muffin so you can eat a muffin while you eat a muffin!” he proclaimed, holding out a muffin in his other hand.
Derpy stared at it in awe, taking it into her hooves. “A double muffin...” she said in a soft voice, her eyes starting to water. Jason placed her on the ground, patting her head, allowing her to gush over her double muffin.
“Jason! Seriously, stop already!” Twilight shouted, moving over to him. “You're causing way too much chaos at once!”
“Fine, but not until I do this!” he shouted, spreading his arms apart and making a double rainbow appear in the sky. The townsponies looked up at it in awe, many jaws hanging open.
“What does it mean?!” Aloe shouted, throwing her hooves into the sky, as if to make it answer her.
“There, now I’m done,” Jason said with a smile, returning to normal Hodgepodge.
“Ahem,” the still zebrafied Twilight said, pointing to her forehead.
“Oh yeah,” he said, and with a snap of his fingers, everyone returned to their correct species. “There, good as new!”
“Thank you,” she said with a sigh of relief, stroking her horn in a somewhat suggestive way.
“Knock it off Twi, this fic is only rated T,” Jason scolded, rolling his eyes.
“Oh come on!” Dash complained, looking at her hooves. “I wanted to be a griffon!”
“Well I for one am glad we’re back to normal. I mean really, the cretin turned me into a Diamond Dog!” Rarity said, making a disgusted face.
“Oh great, more Breezies,” Jason said with a sigh as two of the annoying things flew over to him. “Go away!” he growled, swiping at one as it flew around his head. He barely noticed as the other started to tamper with the Omnitrix.
“There, that should do it,” it said, its words now understandable.
“Wait, what?” Jason asked, stopping mid-swipe, looking down at the Breezie.
“Oh thank goodness it worked! Blukic! We can finally get home!” the little Breezie said, flying up to his friend.
“It’s about time,” the other Breezie said, his voice deeper than the first.
“Wait wait wait,” Jason said, cutting in, waving his arms. “Please, please tell me you’re not who I think you are.”
“Well, I’m Driba and my companion is Blukic. We saw the Omnitrix and knew we’d be able to get home!”
“H-how did you even get here!?” Jason asked, putting his head in his hands, a soft groan escaping his lips.
“Well we were trying to make a portal network so we could travel to all the Mr. Smoothys in Bellwood but we hooked into #23 by accident and got sent here,” Driba explained, flying into Jason’s face. “Do you have any idea how backwater this planet is!? They don’t even have electricity!”
“Ok just calm down,” Jason said, tapping the Omnitrix again, this time able to return to human form. “Ok, let’s see about getting you back to normal. Omnitrix, repair genetic damage,” he ordered. The Omnitrix chirped, though did nothing.
“No genetic damage detected,” it replied, going silent.
“What!? That stupid thing must be broken!” Driba shouted, flying over to it and pounding on it with his tiny hooves.
“Stop that,” Jason said, brushing him away and rolling his eyes. “Sorry guys, but it looks like you’re stuck as Breezies, but hey you can chill with me until they come looking for you.”
“At least we won’t have to put up with the rest of those Breezies any more,” Blukic said, landing on Jason’s shoulder. Driba just sighed, landing on his other shoulder.
***
“Where are we going?” Driba asked, looking around as Jason walked deeper into the woods.
“My girlfriend moved into the old castle and I was thinking of spending the night,” Jason said, coming to a stop when two unicorns stepped out into the path. One was purple and the other was black.
“Oh I don’t think you’ll be able to,” the mare said, smirking at him, “What do you think fellows?” she asked, signalling for at least a dozen more ponies, these ones in armor, to step out of the forest.
“You guys really think that you can stop me?” Jason asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh, not us, but she can,” the mare said, stepping aside, allowing Jason to see past her. His eyes went wide as he gaze upon a dog like creature that appeared to be made of rock. The thing that made his blood run cold, however, was the red, hexagonal device affixed to it’s collar.
“Oh shit...” Jason managed to get out before all hell broke loose.
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Just turn back into Hodgepodge. The only things that can stop a Draconiquus are the elements of harmony. Snap your finger and the collar is off. I get the feeling that the nemesis is another displaced.
Hmm what if the thing discord Cant snap his fingers?
Also... You took my idea for the lego brick XD
Use Atmoic attack! Drop the nuke on them!
Just make them dance to gangnam style.
Oh my god, those two idiots? It looks like this place is actually crossing over with the Ben 10 Omniverse… verse. That raises several interesting possibilities. Incursions, Plumbers, … VIlgax.
And that was a great way to finish the fight, though I personally would've done this.
Anyway, damn boy you starting to to put these out fast! Gonna have to pick up the pace on mine. Oh, and it's cute seeing Jason actually call Chryssi his girlfriend.
i honestly thought when he started dancing he would do this,
Nemesis versus Nemetrix. Interesting.
Evil, evil cliffhanger.
Needs more Nyan Cat.
This was the Best Fight Ever!!!!!!
LET CHAOS RAIN DOWN AND WASH AWAY THE SANITY!!
Geez, get overly excited much?
AND LET COMEDY FLOW LIKE THE HUDSON RIVER!!!
And now Rage and i take over while they go cause even more chaos than there already is our head.
“The internet, the most chaotic thing humans have ever produced.”
4Chan
4Chan
4Chan
4Chan
5146434 yes he is. STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
img0.derpicdn.net/img/2014/3/2/564672/large.jpeg
Hah, the internets is le most chaotic thing made ever in the entirety of everything.
OH SHIT!!! NOT THAT DOG THING! I THINK I KNOW WHO THE LEADER OF THE FOREVER KNIGHTS IS!
The Lego brick..... the most feared weapon in the universe........ err, that is.... multiverse..... I remember my childhood.
Those things hurt like a bitch. Maybe someone should make a minefield of them? Like, it explodes everywhere, and Lego bricks start flying everywhere at the speed of an explosion, and getting into eyeballs and such.... ow. Damn, it hurts just thinking about it.
I died at Gangnam Style...
I wonder at which point will Jason realise that his children will number in the hundreds, if not thousands.
Hah, figured Dash would love to be a griffon.
Oh god, the hilarity!
Me: *pours bleach into eyes* it burns so good!
Lazercorn: he hates gangram style
That is very true
6380804
I
diedlaughed at rule #63The lego joke is true.
8491930
Not true I am more chaotic.
Pffft, the nemetrix? Pathetic, it only has a handful of predators against the omnitrix’s aliens, easy to avoid vulnerability here.
The memes, jack.