Jason, The Love Guru
“Hey Twi,” Apple Bloom said, looking up from her alchemy set, “Ah haven’t seen Spike in days, is he okay?” The normally chipper dragon had been absent from the past few Twilight Time sessions and the little fillies had started to worry.
“He’s okay Apple Bloom,” Twilight assured with a tired smile, “He’s just a little down in the dumps since Rarity turned him down. Just give him a few days and he’ll feel better.” She moved off, trotting into the kitchen.
“Ya know, we should do somethin’ ta cheer Spike up.” Apple Bloom said, looking to Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.
“Yeah, but what?” Sweetie Belle asked, tapping her chin in thought.
“We could get him gems,” Scootaloo suggested, looking up from her half disassembled scooter.
“He already has a ton of those,” Apple Bloom said, shaking her head, “We need ta think of somethin’ that’ll take his mind off Rarity.”
“Why would we do that?” Sweetie Belle asked, tilting her head.
“Cuz’ thinking about your sister’s making him all depressed, duh,” Scootaloo rolled her eyes and continued to rebuild her scooter.
“Oh, right.” Sweetie gave a sheepish smile. “Well... maybe we should all come up with our own ideas. That way even if one of us is wrong, maybe the other two can still cheer him up.
“That’s a great idea Sweetie!” Apple Bloom said with a smile as the three of them moved closer to each other.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DRAGON HELPERS! YAY!” they shouted, bumping their hooves together. Twilight couldn’t help but cringe, their loudness carrying into the other room.
“I hope this ends better than that time they tried to get Cheerilee and and Big Mac together,” she muttered, carrying a plate of nachos back from the kitchen. She had a feeling though, that it probably wouldn't.
“Hmm... maybe some gems will work? He loves gems...” Scootaloo said to herself, looking around the marketplace. She moved through the area, frowning a little. “I don’t have any bits... maybe I should try asking Rarity? Nah, that’s a bad idea...” She buzzed out of the market place, deep in thought. “Wait, Pinkie said she grew up on a rock farm! I can try her!” she smirked, buzzing off toward the edge of town. She frowned, seeing Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom already there. “Hey! What are you two doing here?”
“Ah’m goin ta’ Pinkie’s family’s rock farm ta look fer gems,” Apple Bloom said, gesturing toward the road out of town.
“No, I am,” Sweetie Belle clarified with a pout.
“No, that’s MY idea,” Scootaloo corrected, glaring at them, “You two get your own ideas!”
“This was my idea!” Apple Bloom said, glaring at Scootaloo.
“No! It was mine first!” Sweetie Belle argued. They spent the next few minutes in a shouting match before things turned ugly. The three friends all lunged at each other, kicking up a cartoonish ball of dust as their fight turned physical. They spent several minutes like this, hurling insults at each other all the way. A familiar voice cleared their throat, causing the three to stop. They looked up, only to see Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash looking down at them with disappointed glares.
Apple Bloom opened her mouth to speak, only for Applejack to cut her off, “Ya’ll three are grounded, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.”
“But Applejack...” Apple Bloom whined, giving her a rather dejected look.
“Ah said no ‘buts’,” she said sternly. “Now come on you three, ain’t nopony else free ta watch ya’ll so we’re takin’ ya to Jason.”
“Yes Applejack...” the three fillies said with a groan, following their big sisters into the Everfree.
Meanwhile, at Everfree castle, Jason was glaring at Twilight, tapping his fingers against his stereo. “Twilight,” Jason started, annoyance clear in his voice, “I have been dealing with nobles all day, I just want to lay around and listen to Bon Jovi, is that too much to ask?”
“I’m sorry, Jason,” Twilight said, withstanding his glare. “There isn’t anypony else available that the girls would trust their sisters with. Besides... if anypony can handle those terrors it’d be you.”
“What was that?” Jason asked, raising his eyebrow.
“Nothing. Anyway, Chrysalis and I will be helping Rarity figure out her changes,” Twilight said. She turned to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who looked rather downtrodden, being escorted into the room by their older sisters.
“Sorry ‘bout this Jay,” Applejack said, giving her adopted brother an apologetic smile. “Me and Big Mac got loadsa stuff ta do on the farm so we can’t watch them.”
“I’ll be busy with Chrysalis and Twilight all day.” Rarity said simply. They turned to Dash, only to find that she had already left.
“Yeah, yeah,” he waved them off. “I got it, you guys just go do your thing, I got them.”
“Welp, good luck Jay, yer gonna need it,” Applejack said, taking her leave while Twilight and Rarity headed to the castle’s laboratory.
“Ok,” Jason said, sitting up, looking at the three fillies, who were staring at the floor. “Why exactly am I watching you three?”
“Well umm... we may have caused a lot of trouble...” Scootaloo admitted, rubbing the back of her neck with a sheepish smile, which the other two mirrored.
“How much trouble?” Jason asked, raising his eyebrow.
“Well, there was the time we gave Cheerilee and Big Mac that love poison,” Sweetie Belle started, “That time we messed up Rainbow’s house, that time we blew up Pinkie’s kitchen...” she stopped, noticing the glare that the others were giving her.
“Geez, it’s like Dennis The Menace times three,” Jason muttered, sighing. “Okay, so... you girls wanna listen to some music?” he asked, holding up the stereo.
“What kinda music?” Sweetie Belle asked as she climbed into Chrysalis’ throne, the others following suit.
“Okay so, we got grunge, punk,” he paused, looking at them, “You guys might be a little young for metal...” He pulled a CD out, staring at it. “Why the fuck do I have a Nickelback CD?” he asked, glaring at it like it was the most evil thing on the planet. “Wait... this is Jessica’s CD. Don’t need to keep this anymore,” he said. Tossing it into the air, he incinerated it with a burst of Flare.
“Whoa, what was all about Jason?” Scootaloo asked, looking at him a little wide eyed.
“That band sucks. Plus that CD belonged to my ex-girlfriend. I’m going to avoid ranting here, not for young ears to hear.”
“Whats an ‘ex-girlfriend’?” Apple Bloom asked, looking up at him with curious eyes.
“Right... you guys don’t use that term,” Jason paused to put a CD in the stereo, letting the sounds of Nirvana fill the room. “So... when a guy dates a girl, she’s his girlfriend and he’s her boyfriend. An ex is someone who you used to date but aren’t dating anymore.”
“Oh!” Sweetie Belle piped up, “You mean like very special some... ponies...” she trailed off, looking down at her hooves.
“What’s got you so down Sweetie?” he asked, reaching over and scratching the little unicorn’s ear. She smiled, nuzzling his hand gently.
“Well... I wanted to give Spike a gift to cheer him up so I thought I’d give him some gems...”
“That’s my idea!” Scootaloo growled, tackling Sweetie Belle off the throne.
“No, it’s my idea!” Apple Bloom shouted, jumping into the pile, the three of them rolling around, yelling insults at each other.
Jason sighed, shifting into a tall creature with an egyptian style headdress that was made of bandages. He lifted them up and separated them with his bandages. “Ok, I think I know what’s going on... you all have a thing for Spike.”
“So what if I do?” Scootaloo said, crossing her arms, “I’m gonna be Spike’s special somepony.’
“No, ah am!” Apple Bloom shouted, glaring at the pegasus. Sweetie Belle opened her mouth to protest, only for Jason to cut her off.
“Ya know... Chrysalis, Rarity and I are all together,” he said, trying to catch a look of understanding from each of them. Apple Bloom looked thoughtful and Scootaloo looked impatient, but Sweetie Belle just stared off into space with a blank expression.
“Yeah, and?” Scootaloo asked with a huff.
“Wait, y'all're together? Is that why Rarity turned down Spike?” Apple Bloom asked, looking at him with a thoughtful gaze.
“Yup, now what does that mean for you guys?” Jason asked, glad at least one of them was catching on.
“We can all be with Spike!” Sweetie Belle shouted with a smile. She turned to her fellow crusaders, who also wore grins on their faces. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DRAGON HERDERS! YAY!” they shouted, hoof bumping.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea...” Jason muttered to himself, placing the now very animated fillies back on the ground. Perhaps he had unleashed a monster... or rather, three of them.
Spike sighed, looking at the crumpled picture of Rarity grasped in his claws. He balled it up again, tossing it near the trash can, a ritual he had been performing repeatedly for the past few days. With a pout he reached out, snatching the picture off the cold floor, trying his best to straighten out the wrinkles. No matter how much it hurt, he couldn’t just forget about Rarity. She was still his friend, right? “I just don’t know what to do...” He absentmindedly grabbed a half eaten gem and munched on it lazily.
“Spike!” Sweetie Belle shouted as she burst into the form, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo behind her. Each carried with them a large bag. “We brought these for you!” she said, dumping her bag out in front of his basket, gems pouring out.
“We got ya some too,” Scootaloo said, dumping her bag out, followed by Apple Bloom dumping hers out, creating a huge pile of gems.
“W-what's with all the gems?” Spike asked sitting up in his basket, staring at the pile. He licked his lips, drooling a little at the sight of so many delicious looking morsels.
“Well,” Sweetie Belle took a deep breath, “We knew you were all messed up over my big sister so we decided to get you a gift from each of us, but then we all decided to get you gems and got into a big fight over it. Then Jason made us realize we all like like you and told us we could all be your someponies like he is with Rarity and Chrysalis!” Sweetie Belle took another breath, clearly winded by her explanation.
“So... can we be your special someponies please?” Scootaloo asked as she and the girls bunched together, giving Spike the best smile they could manage to give.
“I-I don’t know about this...” Spike said, looking between the three of them. Of course he liked them but he had no idea if he liked them like that. He tapped his chin in thought, his mind racing for an answer. “Ok so... how about, since you three cared enough to try to cheer me up, I take you all on a date or something? Then we can decide on the special someponies thing, okay?” he asked, hoping they’d take that as an answer.
“Woohoo! We got a date!” Scootaloo cheered, hoofbumping with the others. “Come on girls, we gotta go get ready!” The three of them dashed out of the room, startling Twilight on the way out.
“Sorry Twilight! We have to go get ready for our date with Spike!” Sweetie Belle called as they barreled out of the library.
“Wait, date?” Twilight asked, looking confused. After a second it clicked and she snorted, glaring a little. “Jason!” she grumbled shaking her head. “You know what, this is his mess, let him deal with it.” Shaking her head, she went up to peek in on Spike. The little dragon seemed to be out of his funk, munching on a gem, currently trying to figure out a good place to take the girls. Twilight couldn’t help but smile. “Maybe he didn’t entirely make a mistake after all.” Of course, she’d still have to talk to Jason about giving relationship advice to fillies, but for now, she’d just let them be happy.
Stats
Page generated in 0.03 seconds
Total duration
1,061 users online
2,062,155 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
~yay~ new chapter!
a true gorov '''sniker
lol Cute solution there.
Oh please don't let anybody make a recoil girl x3 joke in the next chapter. I'd hate to see CMC revenge planners (that is a lie, I bet it'd be funny as shit)
lol oh my god
BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA
*read Chapter* THis is so freaking funny this is comedy Gold.
I will never understand why everyone hates Nickelback...
Bitch, dafaq u say bout Nickelback; I'm gonna kik ur ass in our crossover!
5743225 I grew up on Nickelback, Def Leopard, Kiss, even Scorpions and Alice Cooper
6072042
Get in line!
Welp, I hope Spike is very resilient.
5743225 personaly I find them to graphic and theire songs don't have a good rythem
Hate Nickelback does he? Well just look at this photograph
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/962/718/c65.png
it make's me laugh.
7616055 sigh The door's over there.
7616055
Every memory of walking out the back doooor, i found the photo of the prison i was lookin for, its time to say it (time to say it) gooodbyyye gooodbyyye.
6191041
Well Lord Iron Skull, if you ever need my help.......... Shout: “TAURUS!” And i will hear you.
Is that Crossbones? I have a history with him BTW. It was good times.
However.