• Member Since 3rd May, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 9th, 2016

A Man Called Horse


Ceci n'est pas un poney.

E

On her way to Canterlot to retrieve the Alicorn Amulet, Trixie is stranded by the side of the road. Thankfully, a fellow traveler comes to her aid.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 5 )

Very cute little story. :twilightsmile:

Nicely written too. I only found two errors:

Trixie can't even remember the last time luck has worked in her favor.

This should be removed, no?

A purple shades flits across her mind.

Singular or plural? Choose one =P

And I really like the way the perspective changes. It gives us a lot of insight into the character.
Though, I wonder how it would be like if you switched back to third perspective in the last paragraphs, "The Amulet clicks shut around Trixie's neck(...)".
Just an idea :raritywink:

edit: hm. Maybe not. Looking at it again, it's probably better as it is now

Very insightful, and well written. First time in a while I've seen a story in present tense. The shift from third to first person narrative was very dramatic, and also interesting in that it revealed that Trixie had been not just the viewpoint character but also the narrator right from the start.

A good, touching little slice of life, with Trixie getting a bit of perspective on her situation. (It helps that I strongly agree with her characterization here.) Admittedly too little, too late, but that's established canon for you. Perhaps she took it to heart afterwards, as the comics show her in a better light since then.

Oh this is good. The way the perspective shifts from third to first person near the end completely caught me by surprise, but it was absolutely perfect. I am very glad Soge directed me your way with his review of Monochrome - after seeing how good this is, I will certainly read it soon.

How did I miss this one?

Good thing for group features because this was a very worthwhile read. Getting into Trixie's head, understanding her, is something that's tricky to do, pun definitely intended. But I think you managed wonderfully here and gives us a little insight on her motivations and what she wants out of life.

Now if she would just mare up and make some friends, dammit!

Good show!

This late in the game, more than a handful of folks have deconstructed or analyzed the state of Trixie's mind, and this one is no less impressive than the best (that I've read). The twist was pretty interesting, because her decision to consider the distance between herself and other ponies automatically brings the reader closer as well by revealing that we're already hearing the story in first-person. That was very well-played. I also like that the Trixie you leave off with is about as humbled and thoughtful as the Trixie we see at the end of "Magic Duel". It was never made clear exactly when the Amulet started taking control of her, but I like to think that most of her actions happened under its influence.

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