• Member Since 22nd Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Tuesday

Hopefullygoodgrammar


"I'm Off!" said the Madman!!


T

Necromancy.

An art that has been forbidden in Equestria for centuries. The princesses think that they have eradicated it, but they cannot watch over everything all the time.

Gilda was a brash, rude, violent punk who shamed her family with her bullying attitude.

Then she died violently and messily, and her father, distraught, enlists the help of griffon necromancer Melkonis, who promises to bring her back at a high price and bring her back he does, but there are some... issues in the manner of her rebirth.

Now Gilda is a patchwork creature living in a dark cell. She doesn't remember much about her past, but what she does remember has made her long for the outside world.

But, when she takes the opportunity to escape, will what awaits beyond her cell be worth the heartache?


This story is part of the Pony Dreadful 'Verse and is rated teen for gore and dark themes.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 42 )

You have my attention

Interesting. I'd like to see where this is going.

Hmmm...
interesting. Shes going to ask her father why he hates her next chapter? Maybe?

4758618 Wait and see....:raritywink: And thanks for the fave.

4758624
:pinkiehappy:
I look forward to seeing how this goes

Let it begin , let it begin ::cackles madly:: :pinkiecrazy: Excellent start to another spine tingiling tale.

Wow, I was wary if I should start reading this... I expected nothing but a lame and uninspired grimdark-fic alà "Gilda comes back and craves for brains"...

I'm glad I read the first chapter anyways, its so much better and most of all so much more than I expected.

Looking forward to the next chapter. You should really continue it soon.

like...

right now!

4760062 Thank you so much and I'm so glad you like it :pinkiehappy:

4761101

I'm seriously considering drawing a cover-art for this story :derpytongue2:
This story needs something representative :coolphoto:

4761300

I'd need a little more info on her looks in this story, though, aside the obvious stitches and such.
That's why I wanted t wait for the second chapter :raritywink:
Or you can PM me about it, whatever you prefer.

4763615 She'll see what she looks like in chapter 3, it's....:pinkiecrazy: to say the least. :twilightsmile:

Found a little mistake... Gilda early on in this chapter states "and I sat down and cried for what felt like an hour, hoping that the water from my eyes would carry my unhappiness away."

But later she still does not remember that it is called crying what she does. You should fix that detail.

Otherwise great chapter! Can't wait for the next one ;)

4764819 Thanks for picking that out, I'll fix it right away!

Undead gilda story must continue!

4765773 Geeze, gimme a day or two :rainbowlaugh: Don't worry, you'll get some more soon :twilightsmile:

4765909 You can change the font size here??!!! Wooow

Poor Gilda. If she did get out, the weather might start to corrode and decay her flesh.

4766745 Don't worry about it, she's not that kind of ressurrectee.

That might be a good fic idea for later, a resurrected pony that starts to decay.

4766845 You can use that one, but I probably won't...but you can do one for the 'Verse.

4766914 The Pony Dreadful 'Verse, which this story is part of :twilightsmile:

4766924
the most dreadfull of 'verses! Mwahahahahahahaaa!

4767220
I think its. BRILLIANT!

4769338 possitive. If I can remember

4770393 :pinkiehappy: I'm actually working on Chapter 3 right now, too.

4770440
hip, hip horra! Aahhhg my hip!

Huh... just wanted to get some sleep.. well reading this is obviously way more important :twistnerd:

Excellent chapter, though I have to say Gilda's escape and discovering her appearance seem to differ from what we discused before, but it works very well none the less. I'm liking the direction this story is going, and how you set up her personality its very close to that of Mary shelly's Frankenstein. Keep up the good work.

4781181 I will, and thank you, Miss. Kinder :twilightsmile:

4781176 :rainbowlaugh: Annnnd...THERE'S the scene that you should draw... if you want to, I mean :applejackunsure:

4781234
Sorry I wasn't able to write anything constructive yesterday, but it was really late and I literally just fell into bed after I finished that chapter :ajsleepy:

To this chapter:

I think you managed the escape quite well. I actually wasn't sue if she would ever leave that cell, could have gone either way.

Yeah... to the constructive criticism :twilightblush:

I know you somehow have to "all at once" reveal her new appearance to her, but it still feels really weird...
Gilda, as any catlike/ birdlike animal should usually be able to clean her feathers/ fur, especially for something like preening.
That means she should be able to see way more of her new body than just her paws, and she should have definitely been able to see her wings or tail.

I know this is a big problem. The idea of how her wings look now is really cool and it would have been spoiled by this logic... maybe you could find a good explanation why she could not see them before? Maybe till she freed herself she could be somehow limited in her movement or her range of sight by something? (I got something like a medical dog collar in mind) The only alternative would be to reduce the damage mostly to the parts of her body she would actually not be able to see, like her face, but again, I like the idea with the wings and it would be a shame to sacrifice that.

I know this may be a little nitpick-ish but I think a little more logical backup would make your story a lot better, so yeah... that was my constructive criticism :twilightsmile:

Unconstructive criticism:

Lizard tail?... that just feels really strange (in a bad way) and out of place to me, I personally think she should just be Original Griffin parts (must not be all HER original body parts alà Frankenstein) and artificial parts.
Body parts from other species seems a bit over the top and makes her appearance a little ridiculous instead of sad/scary, but that may just be me :twilightoops:

Well, that was a big comment :applejackunsure:
Again, I liked this chapter and you can do what you want with your story, but maybe think about the changes mentioned above for a later rewrite, I think they would help to improve this story :twistnerd:

Oh, of course I'll draw something of this version of Gilda :raritywink:

4783414 Thank you so much for your criticism, and I'll be sure to fix this stuff soon :raritywink:

Alright, I got a few things fixed, but the not seeing the rest of herself is because, well.... she didn't really notice before, she had been reading so much and the cell was so dark that she just didn't really see all that much.

is about her after cupcakes?

4819259 No this isn't related to that story at all, I hate that story.

This is part of a 'Verse.

4819385 ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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