starfox64x
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The thought.....just...no.......a thousand times no...i cant even get over the description...just....F to the U to the C to the K NO.
I liked it, the idea was good, and very original, though there were a couple of spelling and grammatical errors.
If it was still around, 4/5.
Also it takes fics like these to make me look over the fics we make now and i think....'Where the fuck did we go wrong?'
I liked more the first ending. Atleast for the fact that it wasn't planned out and she actually tricked Dash into eating the apples.
Sorry but AJ acts like a real bastard towards RD. „Hey Dash I made you eat drugs apples so that I could get laid with you. Oh and I put the same apples in your drink without telling you. So wanna be my girlfriend?”
Yes I can totally see that it will work.
And Granny Smith is even worse. In the first ending she was “just” an idiot and jerk who didn’t bother to tell her grandchildren about the side effects of these apples. Instead of telling her to only eat one apple couldn’t she have told AJ about the side effects? I’m sure then she wouldn’t have eaten a single one left alone a dozen. Or did she know that AJ wouldn’t stop after one apple and this was her of way of teaching her not to eat them? That seems rather harsh.
The other ending is even worse. Did she really think that the best way to hook up her daughter was drugging her and Caramel? Way to go Granny. You better start looking for a boyfriend soon Apple Bloom.
Future more I wonder if it’s legal to harvest these apples. A substances that makes you lose control above your hormones and craving for more doesn’t sounds like something that could be sold on the market.
439198 Granny's reasoning was that this was a test of trust... She had made it clear that these were special apples that only she and Big Mas knew about, and that she only wanted her to eat ONE. If she couldnt be trusted to follow orders than she would suffer by her own actions, and possibly not be trusted to sell the apples... either that, or if she were to discover how badly one could feel by overdosing on the Apples, she would be a better salespony for them. now she'll never be tempted into giving somepony a bigger dosage than recommended.
As for Granny sending out Caremel to help... I imagine they were both eyeing one another and granny knew, so she just sent him out to 'help'
And as for Dash... Yeah, it was kind of deceptive... in fact it was VERY deceptive, but again, they both already liked one another, they just need a little boost. plus AJ was not exactly in her right state of mind considering she overdosed on Apples...
Speaking of which, one apple would not have done as much... but she ate a dozen, and therefor the effects were multiplied. If she had only eaten one like instructed, than it wouldn't have been so bad. It's like getting a prescription fro ma doctor, you take 5 pain pills instead of one, of course it's not going to end well.
I understand your arguments, but i think there are plenty of reasons why they are justified... maybe i just didn't explain them well enough, and to that, i'm sorry. it was my first attempt at a clopfic, and since i'm still on the edge about whether or not i'm a fan of R34 MLP, i found it hard to write it out, so i dont know how i feel about it...
i think maybe horses need riagra to lol
and to the comment that appple bloom needs bf next well maybe so but not till she ill apple jack age 18/19 so she not getting laid yet
and apple jack is a farmer so she was going to get laid soon eney way there is no need shocked 
and to end it up rainbow dash will never admit she was a lesbian unless this happen'd rainbow was happy that apple jack loves her back
and to end this up i give this a rating of 10 face hooves 
img.ponibooru.org/_images/892a1c88bcc54184d93dc86def5cfd22/83980%20-%20it_rhymes%20reaction_face%20zecora.png
I get the idea that it’s a secret test, but it’s still a rather harsh and unfair one. From the description of the effects it’s not only an aphrodisiac but also something that makes a pony crave for more apples. None of the ponies in the story (AJ, RD, Big Mac and Caramel) could stop after eating one apple, all had a strange desire to eat as much as they could like it’s some kind of addiction. Therefore Granny should’ve known that such a vague warning isn’t enough to stop a pony from eating more apples.
It’s like putting LSD into a bottle of wine and tell someone to drink not more than one glass.
You’re example with the pills is good, albeit I think that the situation is different. If a doctor gives you pills and a patient –at least a rational one – knows that it’s not a good idea to swallow the whole package because it’s a medicine and they can have nasty side effects.
But how many people consider apples as a medicine. Sure if you eat too much you don’t feel so good but it’s nothing compared to the side effects of medicine. In the worst case you have to vomit. There was no way AJ could’ve known that these apples would be so different from all other apples and have strange, uncommon side effects. Even the strange zapp apples from the Everfree Forest are normal apples without any weird side effects.
As for the scene with Caramel: Ok AJ needed help and so Granny told Caramel to go to the orchard knowing that they had a thing for each other. It makes sense… somehow. But there’s still the fact that she gave Caramel the aphrodisiac without even tell him the side effects. It’s like a mother that makes her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend drunk so that they finally make out.
Finally there’s the part with AJ and Dash. Actually the scene in the orchard doesn’t bother me that much. AJ was high and not thinking straight so her actions made sense. The problem is what happens at the end.
Imagine the situation from RD’s PoV: You have a crush on one of your friends. Said friend made you eat some strange apples that made you horny and as a result you had sex under drug influence. You probably still like her, you might’ve liked the sex but you didn’t like the fact that she lied and gave you drugs. But you forgive her because she wasn’t right in her mind and you love her, after all. So she invites you to a talk, gives you some Cider and then tells you bluntly: “Oh I put some of the apples in that Cider. Don’t worry it’s only a mild dosage.”
I don’t know what you would do but I would start to yell and throw the mug at her head.
She just wanted to talk with RD there was absolutely no good reason for putting that apples in the cider. Unless she had malicious intentions, of course.
those apples.........too wierd
445205
It's not really a desire to eat more apples, it's a desire to fill themselves up with something, to cure an emptiness inside of them, it's a 'desire' of some sorts, and they assume that since they're eating apples, its a desire for more apples, but they don't realize what it is until it's too late.
You got a point with the harshness of this 'test', and yeah, granny is starting to seem like a weirdo... But she's been a person who believes in tradition and 'the old ways' and sometimes those sort of things were cruel and unusual, including how they taught their kids lessons. And even though we dont understand it, like how we didn't understand the Zap apples at first, it all works out well in the end.
But you are right, It is a cruel way of doing it....
As for Caramel, again, she's a weirdo at times, her logic doesn't make much sense but things seem to work out in the end.
As for the ending... okay, you got me there, that seems very far fetched... I imagined it as it being 'Hey RD, i caught you stealing my hat and hiding it from me, and i caught you sniffing it like you've done it before. You're obviously a lesbian and i'm fairly certain considering all the toys you have that you've got sex on the mind pretty frequently, so rather than question you about it, i'm just gonna confront you about it and offer you to come after me on equal ground..." and then rather than arguing with her about it RD just jumps in and accepts her....
Buuuut with her slipping her more of the drugged apples i suppose it didn't quite unravel that way in the end, and yeah, i'm sure RD wouldn't like being tricked like that and probably get pretty pissed about the entire situation...
I still stand by my story and i feel that in the end, even if it seems unlikely, things would work out between the two...
I do want to thank you though for the constructive criticism, rather than just hitting the 'generic negative response' button that some people seem to have... I appreciate you explaining WHY you didn't like it rather that just posting hurtful comments about it. It's nice to see that there are those who are willing and able to explain their dislike towards something in a tasteful manner and i really appreciate it. Please keep up the good work!
Aw, genuine romance!
What is this??? I don't even?!?!
Love the fourth wall breakage.
460299
I had lots of fun with that
cum apples ...... yum!
I would review this better, but Yonasomun kinda hit the nail on the head.
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/272/915/d06.gif
And then Diamond Tiara exploded in a fiery ball of sexual energy never to be seen again. The end!
Good work, keep it up.
Just gotta say, I love:
"And what if the situation goes straight to my VAGINA???"
Pip has EVERY right to be pissed. I think you're trying to make up for the first chapter eh?
Keep up the good work!
492842
Yeah, i really am... I came into this wanting to write just some random clopfic, but i felt like it could really impact the town, so i wanted to dive into the a bit more... aaaand now i'm trying to write it a bit more towards how it affects the characters... along with some saucy stuff here and there, hehehe...
Although i want to do something where someone ends up unhappy, just for variety's sake... but i love all these characters too mcuh to make any of them sad!
Also, i am soooo glad i came up with that line, i laughed at myself for that.
But then if that's the result of the apples, how did it result the way it did with Diamond Tiara?
504771 she only loves herself, she's a selfish horrible person and that selfishness (along with the overdose of the apple juice) caused an implosion of sorts... She didn't jump on Pip cause she didn't really love him, it was all a ruse to make Applebloom miserable. Applejack at least had someone in mind when she took them, and she desperately wanted to be with that person, although they weren't there at the time, so she wasn't getting the connection to them that the apples were trying to establish.
keep up the good work
This story is strange, but for some reason I continue reading whenever there is an update. Keep up the good work sir.
507573
Thank you!
Yay! Moral Support!
yer tales be very entertaining during my long treks at sea yar har
YOU GET A GOLD STAR!
(Ahem, a favorite)
I want a apple
638960
you want a regular apple or one of these apples?
That part in the end.
This story confuses me. The first chapter was a bit of a turn off, but I like where the last two are going. I think I'll keep up with it.
For science.
675337 Yeah... I'm not too proud about the first chapter... Not sure how to really 'fix' it...
677282 To be honest, I'm not sure it needs fixing as such. It does provide a context and background which helps the rest of the story. So it works, -ish, but only with the rest, so many won't get that far is all...
Dunno, it's a tough one.
678995 Exactly, the context is brought out well, but the delivery is kinda... forced maybe? Maybe just not done well enough?... I dunno...
438904 It's human nature. The urge to sexualize things has been around for millennia. There's no point in getting whiny about it.
Manly tears have been shed ;-; i am a sucker for romance
Why must this be clop.
I would be totally fine with a story that had magical apples to make you fall in love with ponies, but you had to make it clop.
Shame.
1376414
Y'know i kinda started this as a joke to be honest... "Hey i'm gonna write a really bad clop fic, tee hee." But after chapter one i wanted to continue it... and it slowly became a lot more romantic... with a lot of sex as well *cough* So uh...yeah. It kinda is that.... but at the same time it starts off with clop so i might as well continue the course, hehe
I must admit, the takeoff on this was rather rough but the flights going good now... I think I'll just head back to my seat and enjoy this one. Keep it up.
My first comment since joining
I enjoyed the entire series. I thought the first story end with RD was the better of the two. You'd mentioned that Applejack had thought about rd at times as more than just a good friend. Clearly Applejack wasn't in her right mind. So we have what could be a very funny conversation. Applejack is desperately horny and is trying to keep her cool
"just have an apple Dash"
"what? "
" an apple" Applejack smiled through gritted teeth and her eyes had gone a bit mad "an apple, a fucking apple. Please, for Celestia's sake, I'm begging you to try an apple"
Just the idea of dear sweet Applejack becoming a sex crazed fiend and taking the lead with Rainbow Dash cracks me up. I can certainly see the moral issue with respect to Applejack ggiving Rainbow Dash the spiced juice without telling her, but other than that I loved the very creative premise. Granny Smith was a bit odd. Maybe Applejack finds four trees locked in a back gate with a sign not to touch them... You get the idea.
Good job
I really, really hope this hasn't been abandoned.
3824187
Kinda was... havent been around FIMfiction for a long time... dont know if i'll ever continue it or not... heck, aside from like... "It makes people want sex, AJ eats one and so does Diamond Tiara' i dont remember much about how this went...
But maybe i will... we'll see...