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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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"You know what can light the spark back into a relationship? Having sex with other ponies!" What. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Queen_Chrysalis.png
The premise of this feels a little odd, truth be told, like there's some sort of lapse in logic that I can't quite grasp. I wouldn't know myself, but do married couple usually do this? Just randomly shack up with a random partner like some sort of pay-per-night prostitute? I'm not gonna dislike this, but... yeah. This just didn't sit well for me, maybe it'll be different for other folk.
Lols have been had
/
747351
I'd say that most don't, but some do. You've never heard of a swinger's club?
What's with the thumbs down i found this hiliarious!
747440
Huh. Can't say that I have. Now I just feel stupid... but I guess you learn something new everyday.
Nice. That's all I can say.
Thank you everyone for the feedback!
Let me know what works or doesn't work in the story.
Are there any underrepresented characters you want to see more fanfics about?
many fucks have been given this day.
Really, a Clue movie reference? That's a first.
And my god, except for Twilight's parents, every one involved was such a tool. Something for everyone I guess.
^_^ I will admit it was a good story and a great clop errr i mean >.> <.< Gummy did it
Good story idea, decent descriptions, and the thing with Orion & Dazzler fantasizing about each other during the act was touching, but that ending was terrible. Just end it at the first ending, it'll improve this by a lot. Also, don't give little joke asides during the sensual scenes, e.g. "Fortunately, Mrs. Cake didn't make any connections, (except to Dazzle's pussy. High-Yo!)". It breaks the flow and takes the reader out of the story.
751326
Thank you for the feedback. I agree with the example you cited. I removed it as it felt out of place with the rest of the narrative. As far as the ending goes, I wanted to offer multiple possible outcomes. I like the last one best, but feel free to choose whichever ending you prefer.
I think a sequel with Lyra and Bon Bon is required.
763107
I may just have to do that. That chapter would be more reserved, though. I doubt Bon Bon could handle too much of Mr. and Mrs. Cake's rough play.
Just don't hold your breath waiting for a Cranky Doodle Donkey, Uncle Apple Strudel and Clyde (Pinkie's father) lemon party.
not she if really sexy or funny as hell any this was awesome
799556
Thank you sir. I plan on adding another chapter to this eventually, but in the meanwhile, feel free to check out my other stories.
THAT'S WHERE THE CAKE TWINS CAME FROM! Magnum looks exactly like Pund Cake but a earth pony!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT ENDING HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! BRAVO REALLY GOOD!
Where is the next chapter?
1138650
I'd love to write a sequel chapter, but right now I'm swamped with other stories.
Thanks for your interest!
DOSE sex toys xDDD
Also, was I the only person that thought of Smosh when I read "Cup Cake put her husband´s meat in her mouth"?
The sex scenes were moderately OK, the dialogue poor, the comedy was anywhere from mediocre to outright cringe-inducing, the various endings were all extremely bland (or just plain bad), and none of it meshed in the slightest. It opened sorta decent and lost a ton of steam about halfway through. Not necessarily -bad-, but certainly not good either.
AKAWARD
I really enjoyed reading this! I'll be keeping a track on this.
This was amazing. I loved it.