Chapter four: Hurt
Celestia trotted over to the boiling kettle. Carefully, she levitated it towards Sunset Shimmer at her fancy, compact round table. “Careful, it’s hot,” she warned.
Tentatively, Sunset reached for the cup. “Thanks,” she replied, leaning back in her chair. The taste of honey mixed with oaks from the finest tea calmed Shimmer. She hummed as she relaxed further into the chair.
“Sunset, you always strike me as the collective type. So what’s on my mind is:” a smile spread across her face, “what does Sunset Shimmer fear about her future?”
“Why ask such a question?”
Princess Celestia replied with a shrug and giggled.
Shimmer leaned back in her seat and pondered at the question.
Of course she feared for what the future held for her, but Celestia can’t know that. It would poison her plans for becoming the ruler of Equestria.
“No, a mare such as myself has a plan ahead for a better future,” Shimmer said.
Princess Celestia hummed, seemingly happy with the answer. Until she pondered more and filled her tea cup.
Shimmer could feel another question coming on.
“And what if something were to occur that would deconstruct your plans?”
Shimmer scrunched her nose. “Then I would have a counter plan in case,” she said. “Why are you asking me these questions all of a sudden?”
“As I said before, I’m just curious.”
She heard a thumping in the background.
A throbbing sensation inside her chest. “Y-yeah.”
“Oh, though… after witnessing two murders right in front of your eyes and then proceeding to murder a number of officers, I figure that your collective thought would be deconstructed.”
Sunset’s eyes widened.
The same ringing sound she heard from the carriage echoed in the background.
How did she know that? How could she, if that event happened thousands years in the future?
Sunset looked up at her teacher, horror mixed with shock on her face. A smile appeared on Celestia’s face as she looked at Shimmer innocently.
“Well, Shimmer, what is your answer? You seemed so sure of your plans for such a fate.”
Sunset choked on her saliva as she opened her mouth.
She gulped. “I..”
“Tell me,” Princess Celestia said, “tell me, Shimmer, you always so sure of everything, but now when you see a little blood you’re lost, confused, unsure of yourself?”
Moisture blinded her as tears built behind her eyes.
Her muzzle wavered as she recoiled from her teacher’s glare.
She couldn’t control her body shaking in the chair. She tried to stop the tears from escaping her eyes, but it was no use. Her cheek became wet as it trailed down to her chin.
Her tongue stumbled and was silent.
“Sunset Shimmer, answer the question!” Princess Celestia shouted, her voice was solid, hard-held. “Come on, tell me!”
“Leave me alone!” Shimmer shouted, eyes still shut. She felt a magical tingle in her eyelids as they were forced open. Her head turned by Celestia’s magical grasp, forcing her to stare into the eyes of her nightmare.
A bullet-sized hole planted itself in Celestia’s head. The sight of the blood streaking down from it made Shimmer want to puke. However, Celestia didn’t seemed bothered by at all. In fact, she showed not an ounce of pain.
Shimmer broke down and sobbed before the pony she despised the most. She could hear the mad ruler cackling through her sobs. Her growl cut through her sobs and she glared at Celestia, tears trailing down her face. “Shut up!”
Never did she think she would see in Celestia’s magic the same gun that had wounded her, both mentally and physically.
“I can tell you remember this little…” She chuckled a bit, waving the gun around, “toy.” Her smile dissolved from her face when she shoved the barrel against Shimmer’s forehead. “I have to say, this works way better than magic. Requires a lot less focus, but still gets the job done.” She shrugged. “A lot messier than magic, yes, but it still outranks magic.”
Fear held her in a vice, but she fought through it. Never would she give Celestia the pleasure in seeing her break.
“Screw you,” Shimmer said with a growl.
Celestia’s smile fell from her face as the foul words were spat at her.
Shimmer discovered how heavy the gun was as Celestia smacked her across the face with it, drawing blood from her muzzle.
“You always were so stubborn, Shimmer, ” she spat with anger.
Shimmer saw a small flame burning within Celestia’s eyes.
She could almost feel Celestia’s rage while captive in her hold. “A flaw that can be fix with this.” She started cackling madly as she planted the gun’s muzzle on Shimmer’s forehead.
Her ears twitched as the weapon cocked.
Then nothing.
Her eyes shot open. Her body pushed upward as she gasped for air. She inhaled and exhaled, the heartbeats drumming in her ear slowly fading away. She’s gone… she’s gone. She sighed in relief as she saw no signs of a crazed Celestia after looking around.
She touched her cheek to see if she was awake, but felt something wet. Has she been crying?
She held a hoof on her chest and hissed as she touched the wounded shoulder. She looked down to see, instead of a hole in her shoulder, there was a white patch with a little blood on it.
Even though the wound was covered and probably clean, the pain still burned like hell. It felt like she’d been shot all over again. No type of magic ever had this lasting effect, no matter how strong the spell was.
She leaned her head back as she moaned in the pain. Gods, this hurts. She bit her lip, drawing blood as she used her magic to lift the patch to catch a peek at her wound. A small hole smudged with a little blood was all she saw from underneath.
Shimmer closed her eyes. Oh gods, I never felt this much pain before. It felt like the hole in her chest was burning as if the gun still fired.
Sweat burned her forehead and kept her body hot, or maybe it was the sheets that covered most of her body. She tried to push through the pain and and take in the sight around her. It was a room filled with lights and pictures, with flower patterned wallpaper and a cat-shaped clock hanging on the wall.
She was in somepony else’s house.
Her eyes widened in alarm as she realized something was missing.
Her cloak.
Her heart began to race as she pictured who ever patched her up also did something while she was out. She was clearly in a vulnerable state, leaving the intruder to do whatever they pleased without a fight. What if the real reason they saved her because they wanted her all to themselves?
Moments later, the sound of the doorknob twitching rang in her ears.
Oh no, they was here. They were going to fondle her body again, but this time she wasn’t unconscious.
Sunset grunted as lifted herself from the bed. She wobbled around a bit, but she clung on the bed springs to support her weight. She mustered all the strength she could to stand right and not pass out through the pain that burned her chest.
She looked around, her eyes wandering. She stopped as she spotted a stick leaned against the wall.
When the door hit the wall, Shimmer closed her eyes and screamed, charging forward with the stick in her magic. She managed to step once before she collapsed into the arms of her intruder. She froze as her face was pressed against her intruder’s body. It felt like they’ve been in the sun for a long time.
Slowly, she looked up. She stopped as she saw her own reflection in the intruder’s razor teeth. “Aaaaaaaah!” She whacked the intruder repeatedly with the stick in her magical grasp.
“Ow, what the fuck!” he shouted, shielding his face from the attacks. “Why are you hitting me!”
“Because you’re a dragon!” she shouted, striking him repeatedly on the shoulder. Her magic dissolved from the stick as he gripped it in his claw. The dragon tossed the stick to the floor and looked at Shimmer with a killer glare.
Her heart was beating fiercely against her chest.
Without a word, the dragon swooped under and lifted her from the ground with ease. “Put me down!” She screamed, pounding her hooves on his shoulder. She stopped after a couple seconds of striking his shoulder, seeing how it brought no harm to him.
He kept walking with her body tingling along. He reached the bed and gently placed her down on the pillows. Sunset Shimmer tried to get up and run like last time, but at that moment, her strength betrayed her, causing her to collapse back.
All she could do was stare the dragon in the eyes.
He exhaled. “Are we done trying to kill each other?”
Shimmer replied with a snort.
He sighed. “You must be feeling okay after trying to brain me with that stick.”
“Because you tried to kill me!” Shimmer shouted.
“How was I trying to kill you? I fail to see where I did,” he said with a bit of sarcasm. “Okay, I see we got off the wrong hoof,” he said, “So how about we introduce ourselves. I’m Jark, you know like Jerk, but without the ‘A’.” He waved a claw at Shimmer. “Now you.”
Sunset Shimmer didn’t move or blink an eye as she studied the dragon. He wore a chef's apron, but nothing under it. That didn’t catch her eyes, but the stains on it did. She couldn’t tell if the red stains was blood or ketchup. Maybe it could be her blood.
Or he could have eaten one of the corpses outside and got some blood on him.
“Take your time, no rush,” he said, earning a glare from Shimmer.
Okay, maybe she had some trust issues and those things she thought about were silly, but what if she told Jark her name, he’ll think she’s crazy? Claiming to be a mare that should be a pile of dust right now, was sitting before him in a bed surrounded by technology beyond her time just sounded insane.
All of this sounded insane.
She opened her mouth, but stopped as she saw him sniff in the air and then his facial expression switched to disgust. He held a claw to his nose and backed away from her.
He held his stomach and gagged.“Oh jeez, you smell like you’ve been in a sewer!”
“I don’t!”
He backed away.“Ugh, smell your foreleg and you will!”
Shimmer lifted a foreleg and sniffed it.
The sewer scent struck her.
She pulled back and gagged. He pointed to a door a couple feet from her. He gagged again. “I’m going to puke!” he said as he dashed out the door.
“Wait where are you--” She stopped as the door slammed shut. “going.”
As she sat alone, her thoughts began to take over. I’m in the future. A future where technology rules over magic. A future where a new ruler controls Equestria, and Celestia is nowhere to be seen. She buried her face in her hooves. Why? How could an ancient mare disappear without a trace!
She rubbed her face down and banged her head against the bedpost. Ugh! Nopony here knows why… either because they're not smart enough or they choose not to tell me. She looked up at the ceiling as if it held the answers for her. Something had to happen. Celestia wouldn’t allow Equestria to become...whatever this is! How did the magic that made it so special suddenly vanish and be replaced with… with metal weapons!
The ruler is reasonable. She has to be responsible for what happened to Equestria five hundred years ago. But whatever happened five hundred years ago to cause that much destruction compared to the world now feels… disconnected.
The sewer smell shattered her thoughts. “Think later, shower now.” She rubbed her sore shoulder. Right then, she wished there was something to ease the pain in her bones.
She lifted herself from the bed and trotted to the door the dragon had pointed to earlier. Sunset pushed the door and trotted inside, but then limped as her legs pained her.
Thankfully, there wasn’t anything unrecognizable in the bathroom, despite the amount of time that had gone by. The tub looked cleaned and was in workable condition. It wasn’t her type of bathtub, but it’d do for now.
Hot water came rushing down into the tub as she twisted the knob towards the left. Since it was going to take a while to fill up, she sat on the edge of the tub and once again her thoughts took over.
How is a dragon roaming free in Equestria? Why did he save me? He clearly didn’t do it out of the kindness of his heart. What game is he playing at?
She pondered more and more, increasing the headache that pounded her head.
Her thoughts flooded with mind with questions she couldn’t answer.
How?
Why?
How?
WHY?!
Sunset broke out of her thoughts as the water spilt onto the floor and splashed on her foreleg. She turned around, and her eyes widened in alarm at the sight of the water overflowing the tub. She reached over to turn it off, but she slipped and fell into the tub.
Well she was going to get wet anyway, but she wasn’t planning on drowning. She pulled herself from the water, gasping for air. She looked and saw the knob was a couple inches away. She sighed. “Oh come on!” She held her breath and lunged towards the knob.
“You okay in there!”
Shit.
All this water splashing onto his floor.
If what she did before didn’t make him mad, than this would get him pissed for sure.
“Y-yeah, I’m fine!” Shimmer’s hopes were restored as she reached the knob. She grabbed it and wrenched it clockwise, shutting off the water. She levitated a towel on the floor and mopped up all the water, letting it soak into the towel. She felt the floor was dry enough, she tossed it into a white pottery near the door.
She flipped over on her back and slowly sank into the water. The warm liquid came brushing against her bruises and cuts, pain from irritated wounds. She screamed, but bit her lip to stop herself from continuing.
She sat still and awaited until she longer felt the pain faded away.
The floor was pretty much soaked from all the water. Yep, she was going to die. She face hooved as she remembered she could have used magic. You’re losing it, Sunset Shimmer! You’re on the run from the cops. You’ve exhausted yourself by using that much magic , you’ve been shot, almost bled to death, and saved by a fucking dragon! Who, heh, wants to eat you!
She gasped. What if this is where he cooks his victims? What if I’m next! Well he doesn’t know who’s he’s dealing with!
Her eyes were glued to the door at the same time she was scrubbing her body with the soap. She fought hard, but she felt too relaxed. Her eyes fluttered as she kept them from closing. She eventually shut her eyes for a moment until they shot open at the sound of the water splashing.
She rubbed her eyes and saw that the clear water was now red. She prepared to jump out of the water and scream, but something sprang from it. Her eyes went wide as she was looking in the eyes of the dead officer, covered in blood.
She wanted to scream, but he prevented that as he covered her mouth with his hoof.
Even though the bullet was carved in his head, he still cackled madly, chilling Shimmer to the bone. “Surprised to see me, huh?” he laughed. “I’m surprised too. You know, what with me being dead and all.”
No, this wasn’t real.
This can’t be real.
This was all—
“Please don’t say this is all a dream.” He sighed. “That won’t make this any easier. Just saying that makes you seem crazy. Well, you’re already passed crazy and traveled to insane now that you’re seeing a stallion who’s suppose to be dead.”
Shimmer’s eyes started watering.
“Oh no, don’t cry. Please don’t,” he said, brushing a hoof against Shimmer’s check. Shimmer. Shimmer shivered at his touch. The tears came flowing out and her sobs became louder even though they were muffled. “Shimmer, it breaks my heart seeing you cry.”
Shimmer looked at him with teary eyes. Her heart beat fast against her chest and she had a troubled time breathing, like he was sucking the life out of her. She couldn’t fight back, the stallion was stronger than her. All her muscles in her body had frozen.
“Are you crying ‘cause you didn’t die with me?” He asked in a sad tone. “Don’t worry, you’ll die soon.”
Shimmer heard a banging on the door as the stallion talked. Shimmer tried to ignore his voice, but it got louder than the door banging. The other noise faded away as he gripped up her face and made her look in his colorless eyes. “You’re a criminal, Shimmer. Criminals shouldn’t be allowed to live.”
Shimmer closed her eyes to shield herself from the horror that had a face, but it was no use. Even when her eyes were closed, she could see images of the officers lifeless corpses. She could remember how they stared back at her with blood streaking down their heads.
She remembered how helpless she felt watching them die. The pain of knowing she could have died with them if the stallion in the mask didn’t spare, still haunted her. She hugged her forelegs and sobbed, more and more tears came trailing out.
Just like before, she couldn’t control the emotions that came spurting out. She fought to keep the tears from falling, but the emotion was too strong to hold it. She had to let it go. The stallion’s mad cackle echoed in her ears. It felt like she cried for hours, but she couldn’t really tell. Her heart hurt so much at the memories.
“Shimmer, what are you going to do now, huh! You always have a plan, come on, spit out!” He gripped up her face. “Come on, Sunset Shimmer, tell me!”
“No!” Shimmer cried out, eyes shooting up. No matter how hard she thrashed and thrust around, she couldn’t break free of his hold. As if her hopelessness was increasing his strength.
She jumped when she heard a loud crack sound . She opened her eyes to see Shades had vanished and instead was the dragon came charging in. She quickly covered herself up, a blush burning her cheeks. “What are you doing in here!”
He shielded his eyes with a claw and turned around. “I…uh….I—”
“G-g-get out!”
He was blushing too as he looked away. “R-r-right.” He backed away and hit his his head against the wall. “Leaving now,” he said, dashing out.
Sunset looked at him then the water. The blood was gone, leaving a clear sight of her hind legs as they sat underneath the water. She didn’t move a muscle and just kept watching the flowing water.. All her thoughts was jumbled up so thinking only led to more headaches
She couldn’t rest her eyes because the nightmares that awaited kept her awake.
She was hopeless.
Powerless.
Sunset Shimmer wasn’t powerless, she was power. So whatever she witnessed, she couldn’t let that stop her goals. So why was she haunted with these nightmares? Why everytime she saw them, she burst into tears like a foal who’s candy was taken away.
Shimmer could hear Celestia’s mad laughter in the back of her head. She shivered at the at her monstrous tone. She grabbed her head as the laughter hunted. Shut up! Shut up!
Being in this bathroom made her wanted to puke, she lifted herself from the water and stepped out of the tub, levitating a towel over her, drying up her coat. She walked out the bathroom and poked wet her head out.
Looking around, she saw nothing. She walked out and looked around. She walked to the bed and sat down. She repeated breathing over and over again until her heart beating faded away and her breathing slowed down.
She wiped her tears away and sniffed. You can do this. You can. She took a deep breath then huffed, a frown forming on her face. She needed to get up and get right back on track, starting with looking for more info about what happened and about this new alicorn.
I need something to wear. Everypony’s wearing clothes now, and seeing me walking around naked would be suspicious.. Her eyes slowly scanned the room until she hit the jackpot as she saw a closest.
She walked to the closet doors and swung them open to find a hanging leather jacket. She raised her eyebrow. Why would a dragon have a pony size jacket? She tapped a her chin. He has to be hiding something.
She moved the jacket aside and poked her head inside. The rest of the closet was empty except for the jacket and a pair of blue jeans.
She groaned and pulled her head out of the closest.
Upon closer inspection, it was obvious that it was fake leather, but she decided that it would suit her just fine. In fact it was great camouflage for when she goes outside. They wouldn’t even tell her apart, she would look just like them. Sunset Shimmer took the jacket and examined it. She saw no trace of claw marks or even blood, maybe it washed off.
Maybe he hung this jacket as a trophy.
Maybe she was being paranoid.
Sunset swung it on. The lining inside felt nice and it did make her feel kinda sharp. She couldn’t shake it, maybe it was a coincidence, but this jacket fit like it was her size. She sat down on the bed and levitated up the blue jeans.
She struggled a bit, often putting both hind legs inside one pants hole until she finally got it. She pulled them up and she walked around. It felt nice and smooth, again her size. Things were starting to get very strange. The type of strange she wanted to get into, but wouldn’t like what comes out of it.
This dragon was hiding something. He had to be. The matching clothes, no picture frames of him or any of his relatives, he was basically a walking mystery. All the questions always ended up why he decided to save a criminal who he knew had killed.
The “because I’m a good person” bullshit excuse didn’t fit right with Shimmer.
But this wasn’t about looking good. Her head turned at the door as she heard a knock. She looked around, but saw nothing could fit inside her pocket in case. Even though the dragon had saved her and took her in, his intentions weren’t truly clear.
Her eyes widened as she saw a small pen on the desk. She levitated it inside her pocket and walked to the door. She took a swift inhale then huffed. She opened the door and the sight of the dragon greeted her. This time, he wasn’t smiling. “Yes?”
“Wanted to apologize for barging in like that.” He rubbed his neck. “I wasn’t trying--”
Shimmer sighed. “Let’s forget that happened okay?”
“Right. Forgetting that now.” He chuckled as examined her, from her jacket down to her jeans. “Heh, you look good in that jacket,” Jark smiled, but only for a moment.
“I hope it’s alright.”
He waved a claw. “Go ahead. Letting it stay here is bad for me.”
"What does he mean, 'bad for him'?"Shimmer frowned. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
He sighed and walked in.
She left the door open in case she needed a place to escape and turned around. The dragon walked to the bed and sat down, blowing his breath. “I already told you why.”
Sunset groaned. “I don’t have time--”
“Time for what? You keep saying that like you're on a time limit or something. How about you answer my question,” he said. “Why are you such in a rush, huh?”
Shimmer’s grasp of the pen tightened as his voice had gotten louder. “Calm down,” she said. Her heart pounded against her chest, her breathing quickened, and she could feel her face grow damp from the sweat that burned her skin. She didn’t know if he could see that her grasp of the pen was shaking violently under his glare.
“Listen, you bit…” He stopped himself and exhaled. “Listen, wherever you came from, it doesn’t work like that here. You can’t just walk outside when you’re a wanted criminal.”
“I know how to take care of myself.”
“Yeah the stack of bodies proves that!” He shouted, waving towards the window.
“I did what I had to do!”
“Is that what you keep telling yourself that!” He barked. Then he stopped and exhaled.
The pain in her chest still burned like it was a fresh wound, and suddenly standing in one spot exhausted her. All she wanted was to collapse on the bed and rest, but she couldn’t.
If she stopped now, then Celestia won.
She couldn’t allow that.
Without a word, Sunset Shimmer walked to the door. She stood still and stared at the knob grasped in her magic. A question swarmed her head she could longer keep in the back of her head.
Sunset shut her magic off from the knob and turned around. She saw the dragon staring back at her with a tired look. “Why do you care so much, huh? I killed so many officers and I haven’t even been here for one fucking day!” Her muzzle trembled as she spoke. “You took me here, treated me, gave me a roof above my head and you don’t even know me!”
She asked with a shaky tone, “Why? Tell me why did you save me! After knowing what’ve I done you still saved me! Why!?”
“Because you’re not the only one who saw some crazy shit that traumatized you!” She could see tears were building from his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away before they could escape and sniffled.“So stop acting so fucking selfish!”
The dragon was looking at her as he waited for her response. The sound of his heavy breathing was the only thing she heard.
She opened her mouth to speak, but noises from the outside interrupted her. Different noises like screeching in the streets and doors shutting. She moved to the window and saw the street was brightened by the red and white lights flashing from the carriage. It was bigger than the other ones she had seen, and the colors were different too.
She looked towards the right and saw a big white sheet covering up something. She couldn’t get a good look as it was too far off to the right. She turned around to see the dragon staring at the box a few inches from her. He held a stick in his claw that was aimed at it.
She walked to where the dragon sat and looked at the box. A mare in a brown jacket was inside the box, her lips flapping, but she couldn’t hear words forming. “What’s happening?”
“Sssh,” he said, pressing the button on the stick.
The mare got louder and louder as he did this. Shimmer could hear officers shouting orders in the background and even more carriages came into view.
“This is Equestria News here to report a tragedy that struck us today.”
Sunset Shimmer squinted her eyes. The officers were moving back and forth in the background, but the mare holding the device in her magic paid no attention to the shouting and other noises as she addressed the public. “Wait a minute.”
“This is Equestria News here to report a tragedy that struck us today. Ten officers were found dead due to strange causes just minutes ago on Hall Street, in what appears to be a complete massacre.. Just down the lane, two other officers were also found dead in their car. Early reports are suggesting that the killer worked with a third party to kill the officers in the car, then released a poisonous gas to kill the other ten responders on-scene. You’re going to want to stay inside, mares and gentlecolts.”
The mare’s tone switched slightly as she read over what she had to say next.
“Because the police just assigned a full on search on everyone who lives in this neighborhood, where they believe the killer is hiding.”
Sunset ran over to the window as the mare said this and peeked through the blinds. She saw the lights in the building across from her flick on as a loud knocking echoed in the room. Followed by another, and then once more. “No, no this can’t happen!”
“Reporters on-scene are telling us that the police force has already begun their search, and expect to find the killer within the hour.”
Her body tensed up as the knocking grew louder, but this time, she felt the vibration of it. It was already too late for her to escape.
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Yeah honestly... my interests in this story have fallen out. I'm sorry.
6619100 No need to be sorry. Out of curiosity, is there something I did wrong?
6619110 It feels like Sunset's behavior is starting to become idiotic and just downright petty. I don't mind that but it feels like that's all your hoping to bank on with this story and now she's KILLING guards yet still trying to resist the idea that Celestia may have been right? That's.... I can understand a villain like her to an extent. This is TOO far and just sad. To me it hurts the story more than it helps it.
6619117 I understand where you're coming from, but you have to remember she's in a new world. She have no knowledge how society works now plus she had to kill those guards, if she didn't then she would be dead. If she didn't crass the cop car she would be jail or if she went with the cop calmly her fate would have been the same. Sure she's going to act stupid sometimes, she's one of those unicorns who rely too much on their magic to get out of a situation or isn't good at quick thinking. She's more of a planner and than strike kind of gal.
Her resisting Celestia maybe being right is just how she is. No matter what happened to her, she still won't believe Celestia will ever be right because she believes to be better than her at everything.
6619139 It still seems rather dumb to me. Sorry but this is where I leave this story.... not you just this story. Sorry.
6619143 Hey you have a right to voice your opinion. I can't complain. Thanks for reading though.
6619150 Not a problem President Scootaloo.
6619158 Haha you're to first to comment about the avatar.
6619162 Well that's sad.
6619275 I know crazy right? This is madness!
6619280
I just walked into that one didn't I?
6619323 T-minus 16 minutes till FO4 availability in my time-zone.
Are we supposed to feel sorry for sunset? cause she murdered peeps, lock her the fuck up till the end of her days
Man, Sunset is all out of sorts isn't she? Well, only thing now is to make a convincing alias! I doubt the officers had radioed in her description, so it should be doable.
Now to get her to be a little more gracious and humble accepting help from Jark!
Keep going! ;)
Drowning in a singular solid object... More like choking on the idiot ball am I right? Well unless the Idiot ball is big enough to have capsuled her completely and then filled with liquid idiocy.
6619275 Yes because if he stops writing the whip cracks... (Although as I am busy playing FO4 he might get away with a few short breaks. Don't tell him that though.)
I can't even tell where this story is going.
6621348 Good. I like my readers clueless.
6621376 Devious a bit. I like that.
6621394 Don't worry, it'll shall make sense soon, but then it'll get confusing again.
6621401 I'm more interested in the part that will make sense.
6619139
There was zero evidence to prove that Shimmer was going to be killed.
People who are going to kill you do not ask you to give up AND give you a countdown! Many times!
After creating a public hazard and assaulting Many police officers the Least she deserved was a good solid ass beating.
Her Murder count against people trying to arrest her for committing actual crimes is phenomenal.
There is NO redemption for this.
Originally it seemed like the story was supposed to be about Shimmer learning to be a better pony from Future Alicorn Twilight ... now ... I do not know if it is intentional or not but I honestly have no clue ...
6633654 Shimmer wouldn't know that. She thought she was going to be killed so she defended herself. She wasn't thinking clearly. She was thinking like a coward who only worries about themselves. And her meeting Twilight will come soon I assure you.
a homophobic slur in yoru AN that killed any interest i had to finish this story
...
Can you please change it? Sure, you might throw around that word lightly... But... I was just reading the story, completely content... Until the end, where upon a great sadness filled me. I'm just asking you to be considerate of others. Of your readers.
You know what hurts more than getting kicked in the ribs? Getting kicked in the ribs because you're not straight.
6771176 Oh I didn't mean to be offensive. Sorry about that. Alright, I deleted the word.
6771176
cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/MjAxMi0xMTAzNmI1MjVmZDQzODUx.png
6771195
Don't, if he gets offended by a pile of sticks, he needs help.
6771195
Thank you
I'm surprised that I faced hatred from this community. Then again, there's trolls everywhere. Had to block that reptile dude.
6771176 You are not being discriminated against or "hated on" because you read an author's use of self-abasing humor.
6903070 I never stated that the author was hating upon me. I simply stated how I was happily reading the story, only to find a slur at the end. I have nothing but respect for the author, but it's people like Reptillian Member 69 who just love to tear me down.
Do you agree with Member 69? That the word fag only means a bundle of sticks, and that I'm a sensitive pussy? Please... I'm not trying to cause drama...
6903868 I believe that there's a gap about as big as Betelgeuse between an author using a slur to make fun of himself and a bigot using a slur to harass or belittle someone. This is a teen-rated story; part of that content warning means "offensive language." If you can't even read the word in a context totally removed from homophobic hate-speech directed towards you, then you shouldn't be reading teen-rated stories in the first place.
Nothing wrong with being sensitive to certain things or specific words, especially if you've dealt with legitimate hate speech or discrimination in the past. I'm not trying to call you a pussy, I'm just trying to say that content warnings exist for a reason and if you read a teen- or mature-rated story and then get offended at the language therein, when it's not directed toward you, that's at least partially on you for ignoring the warning. If you're reading these types of stories, you need to be able to deal with the content they're likely to contain.
6903990 We settled this over PM. Thanks for the assistance though.
I have not read this yet because it has not been updated in so long, ill read once or if I see this update!
and I do hope to see this update!
7205642 I'm working it. Seeing though Sunset being a killer chapter four was a idiot move, I had to change the chapter two ending and so on. I'm close to being done, but I rather post it with at least two new chapters so the readers won't feel cheated.
7205660 Ok no rush, though Ill be keeping an eye out for when you do update!
as long as I know you are working on it Ill be good to wait
6903990
Why the blue side bar? Like and authors comment but blue instead of purple... are you a site staff member?
I saw the end of this chapter. Saw there were no more chapters and was like
8915821
I have been a Fimfiction moderator since 2013.
8915836
I’m rather new :p
8915868
Well, in that case, welcome to the site. Let me know if you have any questions about anything.