Coffe a day, keeps the world around me grey.
The Writers' Group56,344 stories ·9,285 members
Alicorn Twilight2,142 stories ·2,855 members
Twilight is Best Pony6,369 stories ·3,072 members
The Secret Group1,082 stories ·366 members
Steamponies105 stories ·447 members
Incomplete1,345 stories ·455 members
Sunset Shimmer's world is flipped upside down by a spell that hurls her centuries downstream into a time unlike her own. Alone in the new age, Shimmer must find her purpose among a technologically advanced Equestria all the while trying to make sense of a recent discovery: Twilight Sparkle, ruler of Equestria.
Special thanks to my editors: Sandcroft, and Chaotic Note
Also to proof reader: DarkPinkie, for their help with this story.
Page generated in 0.041 seconds
Total duration
993 users online
179,905 hits today, 2,314,256 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Reason for previous chapters (which was two) deletion.
Alright so you probably wondering. "Hey what happened to the first and second chapter! You better not be rewriting it again!"
Well you're right about the rewriting part. For the deletion, it's because me and my editor worked on the first two chapters and our comments were clogging up the place so it wouldn't like right. Plus it contained a lot of spoilers about the story. Also so the people who Favorited the story could see when I posted the new chapters. I wouldn't want them to be confused or wondering what the hell happened to the chapters or comments.
Not much as changed execpt for a added scene and a change of direction in the story. Yes Shimmer still uses the time travel spell and wanders a ruined Canterlot. She doesn't meet the two ponies who dragged her to the cabin and treated her.
Or seem remorseful about using the spell or what happened with Princess Celestia
Me, Sandcroft, and Note all pitched in together with this story so there wouldn't no chance of a rewrite in the future. Especially Sand and Note who worked their hardest so this could be published. They helped me with editing and things plotwise. I own it to them.
So if are things wrong with it, of course it's my fault and I would like it if you pointed it out.
I already got chapter three and four really to go, which will be posted next week.
Anyway I hope you all enjoy this version.
Again chapter three will be posted next will so stay tune!
Formatting derped around the last few paragraphs or so. It's all bold and centered.
6581131
Sorry about that.
6581106 Better idea. How about you 3 Authors just work on it... and work on it.. and work on it, till it's done. THEN post it. This way, if there is a rewrite, we wouldn't see it as it isn't posted, instead of waiting since... I don't even know. How old is this? 2 years? 3?
Whatever, sticking into the junk folder, will come back, maybe, in 3-4 years at the least. Maybe will actually have something by then.
Yay I got a special mention. I am not worthy Sempai!
6581154 At this point if Manes even jokingly say they're going to rewrite it before its actually finished I'll slap them silly. I may or may not treat them like a naughty dog afterwards.
6581154 I understand your frustration and I know my words don't mean anything to you so I'm just going to say I've got editors and proofreaders to stop me from doing another rewrite. Ask them, I bother them a lot about doing re checks and re checks so I won't make the same mistake again like the other ones.
I hope that you still read and if you don't then I have no room to say anything.
6581214
Yes you are!
Hopefully last time it's rewritten
6581235 Already got chapter three waiting to be posted next week. And chapter four after that. Also five is being worked on. I'm trying a new Schedule. Link
6581233 Domo arigato Senpai! Watashitachi wa shōrai-teki ni issho ni umaku dōsa negatte imasu.
P.S: I don't actually speak Japanese... Used Google Translate :s
Edit: If you really want I could translate for you.
Awesome read so far. Looking forward to more
I think this is the best incarnation yet with good pacing, flawless grammar, good descriptions and engaging dialogue.
I'm still not seeing the cyberpunk/futuristic aspect yet. All I see is a modern Equestria.
6581615 Glad you enjoyed it. Although this is the futuristic Equestria. What we considered modern is future to them. They are slowly evolving. So I don't think they'll manage creating something like robots or robot limbs. Well not yet anyway.
What's with all dem rewrite
6581734
Truth to be told I was unhappy with the other versions. I was selfish for not thinking how the reader would feel about it. So now if I screw up, I'll just have to continue the story. My editors and proof reader will make sure of that.
Also I've gotten chapter three and four edited and ready to be published. Well I'm not going to until next week, trying to maintain a routine.
6581106 well if you're bothered about proofreader spam, why not use a medium for collaboration before publishpublishing to the site? There are several out there that should do the job just fine...
6581985 Trust me. I posted a thread asking for help, still haven't gotten a reply yet. I am going to look for more proof readers though.
6581631, I was talking about your old covers.
The first one depicted flying cars and what appeared to be a robotic stallion. The second one depicted a Pony with a full-body prosthesis and the emblem of T-light Industries next to her.
Those covers primed me to expect a cyberpunk Equestria.
6582642 Oh don't worry it's still going to be cyber punk later in the story. I'm going for a modern mixed with a futuristic version of Equestria. Just right now it appears modern.
Haha quite enjoying the story of I may say so.
6592550 Glad to hear it.
First!
P.S: Somebody please shoot me now!
6598654
a.disquscdn.com/get?url=http%3A%2F%2Fimgur.com%2F5lecSH8.gif&key=69_XeaiKbYLN5ijzr1OABQ
6598669 *Clutches his bullet riddled chest* My only regret is forgetting to water my cactus. Blergh.
Luna?
...... Seriously, guns are more dangerous than magic?
ain't buying it.
6598698
Techology > Magic lol
although a single handgun vs. a good magic user would be a different story.... if the magic user has fast reflexes.
6598698 The kicker isn't that they are more powerful than magic, the kicker is that they are heck of a lot easier to use.
The bow vs Matchlock rifle argument. The bow was a lot deadlier than the early guns ever where, but you could teach a man how to point the barrel of a gun in the general direction of the enemy and pull the trigger so much easier and quicker than you needed to train same man to use a bow. By the time you have trained a single man to be physically strong enough and accurate enough to properly use a bow you could have teached a hundred riflemen how "aim", shoot, and reload their guns. A hundred longbowmen does not beat 10'000 riflemen.
Also, Sunset here is exhausted, I doubt her shield is at max efficiency.
6598757 A mage who knows how to properly defend themselves wouldn't even need to have fast reflexes against a gunman. Always keep up protective wards around you when anticipating danger. That's how a good mage keeps themselves safe.
6598972 Which starts a magical arms race, where bullets are enchanted to pierce magical wards and shields. In which case, said arrogant mage tends to watch his life bleed out, as shown in settings with guns and mages.
One should never be reliant entirely on shields to protect oneself, platemail and shields may defend against arrows, but it soon lost its luster against the crossbow.
6598757 Except for the fact that magic is nigh limitless. Think about it. Magic is manipulating reality to your will. How difficult would it honestly be to create combustion inside of a bullet cartridge when you can levitate things are will?
Also it would not be hard to repel bullets at all. You could create some kind of amulet that creates a barrier design to completely disrupt a bullet coming at you. Forget blocking it, if you can redirect its inertia out of a bullt it will fall harmlessly to the ground.
mmmm.... nope. try again.
fumaga.com/i/fuck-this-shit-iam-outta-here-panda-bear.jpg
6599194 U wot m8?
6599099
There are several ways one can depict magic in a fantasy setting. imo, the worst way to do it is to create a magic system where there are effectively no rules. That is boring as hell, because then the character can quite literally clap their hands and nuke a city. Look at Dresden Files, for example. They need words to associate with to prevent accidental misfires, and they need energy to fuel them. Sure, you can warp reality, but it may cost you an entire dinner's worth of energy, and if you mess something up or aren't skilled enough, you either use more energy than normal or hit too hard.
Gun? Just pull the trigger.
6599099 In which case, you put a Dispel Magic enchantment on the bullet, set to trigger on impact/sudden deceleration, perhaps with a small area of effect. Or use a magic nullifying material for your bullets. And then wizards find a way to counter that; and weapons designers find a way to defeat the wizards' counter, and so forth. And while a good mage who knows the right spells might be able to stay on top of things, a time traveler (Or anypony else) without such knowledge is in trouble, no matter how good they are.
Well... that escalated quickly.
6599398 Indeed it has.
What the freak ? Those cops (excepting the last set) seemed possessed! Laughing at anotheranother's misfortune is a little normal, but doing so while beating up a mare that's apparently homeless? That's all sorts of messed up, and we fear for Sunset's future. Not to mention attempting to use lethal force unnecessarily. Rarely is it appropriate to shoot first ask later, yet most of the confrontations here were just that...
Keep going? I guess? I'll see where this is heading at least....
6599681 These first cops are as it appears corrupt. There is a reason the phrase "Police Brutality" exists.
And to be frank in a setting where technology have outpaced magic it's not too surprising that these corrupt policemen would have no problem shooting at the "apperiently homeless" mare beating the shit out of them with fancy magic.
The second group of police might have mistaken her for the shooter on Hall Street. A crashed cop car a few feet away with two dead cops in it is totally not in any shape or form vindictive of bad stuff...
6599877 it's understandable, but considering how sparse the tags are it got intense really quick.
6598772 Exactly
I would say once Sunset knows how a gun works she would be able to find counter measures for it.
As it stands now she was tired, confused, and had no idea what a gun was...
a griffon
As far as how quick that escalated...trust me it does escalate that quickly in real life.
Don't believe me...tell a cop you won't do something and see what happens...if you do not stand down and answer an officers questions, or allow yourself to be arrested...they will very quickly assume that you have something to hide...once you start resisting arrest that is when things really go down hill.
Sunset not only was rude to the cops (not a crime, but will get you noticed) but also refused to cooperate with them...at that point she was going to get arrested...but since she fought back she became guilty of resisting arrest...she attacked the officers with magic which unless you know what a spell does you do not know if a particular spell is deadly or not, so now the cops have the right to pull out weapons in the face of what might potentially be deadly force...
Once you are in custody you are a criminal in every way shape and form...you are garbage in the eyes of society...that is why they treated her the way they did...is it unprofessional, yes...is this what happens in real life...occasionally yes...since she actually hurt these cops while resisting them it was a guarantee that they were going to gloat about putting a criminal in her place.
6600264 Look, it was going to get out of hand way or another. Things couldn't suddenly cool down after she fought off a couple of cops. If she didn't crash the cop car and went about it the calming way, guess where she'll be right now? Telling how she got knocked out, who knows how long she could have been out. Dispatch could have been called already to her location by ether a innocent by stander or something else.
Sometimes things get out of control quickly.
6600712 understood, I blame her inexperience and poor reactions.
6600723 It's like without magic she becomes dumb, she always rely on it. Also quick thing ins't her strong suit.
6598698 She killed a whole bunch of cops with that magic cloud, and when she was at full strength her shield stopped several bullets.
But the general-purpose magic lasers don't seem to do much physical harm to living things, even when they're vastly overpowered. So saying 'that little device did more damage to me than a spell would have' is reasonable.
6599097 There are other ways to protect yourself from bullets. Wards that repels metal and lead for one. Something not most would expect to be prepare for. And specific wording can change the spell so the wards only affect certain small sizes of bullets. In other words, you can still hold and be near metal objects larger than bullets without affecting them with your metal-repelling wards.
And if magic fails: bullet proof clothing.
6601030 And of course as said in an arms race, should those prove popular enough you'll see different methods, in real life when something proves to be an issue, typically something is invented to bypass it, war and battles tend to hash out some incredible stuff.
I mean if one invents an anti-lead and metal bullet spell and it becomes a popular sort, someone somewhere is going to think. "Can I enchant this wooden bullet to function the same in a gun?" "They prevent specific sizes? Well, I suppose I can enchant this bullet to become bigger after exiting the chamber, thus becoming the size of a canonball."
Magical inventions in a setting with no limits to magic are fun, because without control they tend to be a lensman arms race that ends with alot of interesting death devices. Though I personally prefer magical settings with limits because I prefer magic being a theory of study.
This is a good story, but there a number of grammar mistakes in the chapter. Really takes me out of it when I have to read a sentence four times to figure out what you were trying to say.