• Member Since 4th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 27th, 2018

LordOfTape


what should i even put for this?

E

This world, its so different. The colors, they're so bright, so vivid in my mind. Where am I? WHAT am I? And dear god, how did I get here? "....." Who said that? Oh please, someone give me answers!

How would you feel if you woke up in a new place, a new body, a new world, with no idea of how you got there? What's more, you wake up in a bed lying next to your favorite pony. Your mind is jumbled, your thoughts unclear, and you act only on colorful instinct. Well, that is what happened to me. And now, I'm here in Ponyville, with no clue as to what I am or what I need to do. How do I get home, and what will the other ponies think of a stallion like me? Oh yeah, and how am I gonna survive if Rainbow Dash finds me?

Please leave a like/dislike if you've read. I'd appreciate it.

Chapters (19)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 133 )

Seems interesting enough.. Tracking. I'd like to see where this goes

ok... i think i'll track and find out just what in the world Celestia's (I'm guessin' it's Celestia) talkin bout.

Definitely tracking... this is turning out very good. I can't wait for the next chapter.

415195 hahaha, dude great song. orange is my favorite color though.

for all those tracking, thank you so much :pinkiehappy: im glad to see you guys enjoy this so much. this means i will keep on writing! (ps dont forget to check out my other story too :raritywink: )

I like where this is going. You earn 4/5 Big Macs.
:eeyup::eeyup::eeyup::eeyup:

>>hansolo010 thanks! ill make it a goal of mine to make that 5/5 big macs :twilightsmile:

This whole thing with the two voices is very interesting. I like how it shows a huge plot line underneath just a few words. I will give a more detailed analysis of the story after I finish the next chapter.

So far this is a VERY good story. Quick joke of a question.. when 'Drumroll' was brought to twilight's room, did he notice about 500 other humans/ponies? lol. It seems like she just keeps taking them in. :twilightsmile:
--
As for your writing style, it is very descriptive while not taking away from the story too much. In a lot of the stories I read, people will either focus on descriptions a bit too much or they will instead focus on dialog without describing anything. By achieving this perfect balance, I felt like I was able to connect to the character in the story very easily. You seem to have a lot of writing talent and I would hope you keep writing just like you are.
--
As for the plot/story-line, I can't quit thinking about what happened. There are many things in this story that show a very deep plot. The recurring voices in his head reveals a bit of a sinister undertone. This brings up many questions as to what could possibly be happening to him: "Is this an experiment that he is taking part in?", "Is he in a coma or just asleep (possibly injured and in a real life hospital)", "Could an evil force have teleported him to Equestria?"
I am just having a very hard time wrapping my head around what could possibly have brought him here.
--
I can hardly contain my excitement in anticipation for the next chapter.
I tried very hard to find any flaws in this story but I couldn't. This could have been because I was so into the story and felt like I was in place of the character or because this story is so well written. Either way, it shows your talent.

Keep up the outstanding writing.
I give this story 10 out of 10 rainbow colored rape victims.
:rainbowhuh:

426674 well this was quite the review! thank you for all of the positive feedback. its nice to see where i am on this whole shabang. glad everything ive been trying to do is working. the next chapter may take a bit longer because ive got more of the business to run and school, but itl be up soon enough!:twilightsmile::pinkiehappy:

426787 Yah. same here. College homework is piling up and it looks like its close to the end of the semester. I probably won't even be able to read the next chapter if it comes out before friday. :raritycry:

Ooooohhh boy. I bet MS Word was screaming bloody murder when Big Mac had anything to say. Lol.
This is a pretty interesting chapter with the dialogue between Mac and Drumroll. I like how you showed a bit of a different, more sad side to his character. It was very well played out, great job. :eeyup:

437404 haha, actually, ive got certain setting when writing with southern accents so that it doesnt freak out. i just have to go back and make sure everything is spelled right real quick after. personally i thought it was a bit rushed, but he'll have some more to say next chapter so its alright. :derpytongue2:

437491 There were a few spelling errors, you are correct. Though I didn't think that the chapter was too rushed.

437515 wunderbar! than im alright. for now :derpyderp2: its still nice to see people interested in this story. as much as ive got planned for it, ive still got plenty more works going into the big book too. and my novel is taking up my other writing time. rargh, so much to write, so little time!

437528 Lucky.. I wish I had time to write. I can't wait to get started on my HiE. :rainbowwild:

white is indeed a funny color, it can bee seen as a blank canvas, a space for new ideas, but at the same its quite a lonely collor
the play on strengths in this chapter is interesting, both mental, like in the conversation with TS and the whole thing with big mac getting injured, its quite curious how pride plays a rool on peoples life, even with the loss of strength, its funny how people never give up, they hide their pain, they hide their weakness, they keep moving, when all they want to do is rest...

urg... where was i even going with this? ... i like the story:heart: but if i dont get to sleep soon i will throw a fit...

438486 yes. im glad i got you thinking, or at the very least expressing ideas. hopefully you got some sleep, but im glad youre enjoying it :pinkiehappy:

faved and tracking... is it me or is Big Mac very accident prone? :ajbemused:

442973 thanks! hahaha, well he does do a lot of manual labor, so id say hes definitely in the business of it.

439731 hahahahaha sadly, i am to tired to fall asleep at this point, besides, i have a world to ponder...

I love this person's respect for natural beauty. The detailed descriptions that you give are amazing. You are doing a great job at giving 'Drumroll' a lot of emotion and forming a stable character. Keep up the awesome story, man!

'I was a pretty stubborn guy, or stallion, myself' :rainbowlaugh:
This chapter is one of my favorited so far...
it had a peacefull air to it, much like the color green, and the entire story kinda shifted with the wind
the leaves are 'dicotiledonias'... just saying...

Insert possible love interest: applejack




And the story gets better yet, bravo! Mustache for you!:moustache:

I like how he is having trouble learning their lingo.
I like how I have a hard time stopping myself from using their lingo in real life... get with the program, 'drumroll'.

This story is amazing, also I feel like he is falling for applejack. Idk.. whatever. Can't wait to see Rainbow re-introduced to the story.

473722>>473621 as far as AJ and i go, well, ill leave that up to the readers for now :raritywink: glad you guys all like where its going though! :rainbowkiss: and itll be a while before my rainbow haired pursuer makes another appearance :rainbowderp:

475026


When she makes that appearance..

"Hey Applejack i was thinking-" *see's drumroll* "-YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

"MOMMA NOOO!"

She drags drumroll away as he cries

467213 stupid dicontiledonias. all they are are plants. just plants. but glad i made you laugh.
475715 haha, i garuntee that itll be one 'shocking' and truly 'electrifying' event. :raritywink:

ok look, in all honesty, i have not read something i have enjoyed this much in so freaking long...
its light but with a twist and best of all, it makes you think
the envolvment of the color was, at first, shaky. but now everything just ties in so well

i'll add AJ's hat to the drawing, just not tomorow... cause i have some homework :ajbemused:
btw... i just looked over and realized your hat is still sitting here on my nightstand...
oh, i take offense to you beating AJ
AJ SHALL ALWAYS WIN!!!! :pinkiehappy:
hahahaha yeah no, i'm lying, actually i think you got her personality down perfectly and the story fits really well

Lol... Pinkie you noob... thx for giving me a reason to post this pic.
afterellen.com/sites/www.afterellen.com/files/2011/06/RiverSongSpoilers.png
inb4 --> He is in a coma.

486423 pfft. ha. comas are so overrated. like flying saucers and pudding cups. no no, this is much better than THAT. :raritywink:

486451 fine... then he is uhm.. alien being probed by different aliens and when he wakes up the aliens are actually all pinkie pie in Miner 49er masks from scooby doo.

486471 what in the actual f....you know what, sure. ill let you roll with that, haha:rainbowlaugh:

One does not simply skip a pinkie pie party btw first

inb4 he has cutie-pox

Lol. I loved this chapter. This is one of those heart warming chapters that makes me love the talent that the fans have. Great chapter, mate! If you put out more chapters at this level of awesomeness, expect to be featured on EQD in no time! :twilightsmile::twilightsheepish::rainbowwild:

494582 oh dont worry, there will be plenty of flashbacks. PLENTY of flashbacks :ajsmug:
494635 thanks! its nice to see you think so highly of my writing :rainbowkiss: ill do my best to keep up the good work

494582 I don't see the point in being first. At least spend some time when you post compliments so that you can talk about specific things that you liked. It really makes authors feel nice when you go in depth in your comments.

pinkie is spot on in this one :pinkiehappy:

VX

when i first looked at the chapters one thought was going through my head:

seizure.

494968 nice to see i made the character seem real
509599 so tell me, what made you think seizure? just the multiple colors or something else?

VX

509638

just the chapters all had colors in them :twilightblush:

509656 fair enough, just wondering. so do you like the story so far? or just the chapter names? :derpytongue2:

VX

509696 loved it! gonna keep on following!!

oh, you deserver this :moustache:

509736 wonderful! :scootangel: nice to hear that. and thank you for the mustache :twilightsmile:

Oh come on, Fluttershy! You really need to watch who you use that stare on! One of these days it will kill somepony.

530540 damn, that scare freaked me out man. like. cant. move. oh. dear. celestia. :pinkiegasp:

530548 Yah. now... in your MLP universe, does the stare only work on non-ponies or will it work on anypony? In the canon MLP universe, the stare works on anypony. Just wondering since he rlly isnt a pony and all but oh well..

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!