Not Now
“Twilight, thank you so much for inviting me over for dinner tonight.” Derpy smiled at the alicorn from across the table. “I really appreciate it.”
Twilight, in turn, smiled back. “Of course, Derpy! You’re always welcome here.”
Spike looked first at Derpy who was sitting immediately to his left and he gave her a quick smile. He then turned his attention across the table to Starlight who sitting by Twilight. She had barely bothered to look up from her plate the entire time.
It hurt Spike to see her that way, but maybe it was for the best. Celestia only knows what could come of it if some kind of argument or scene were to break out. Luckily, everything had been going extremely smooth so far during the night. Now if only he could make sure they stayed that way.
“Uh, Spike? Are you there?”
“Huh, what?” He returned his senses back to the real world and noticed Twilight and Derpy both looking at him. “Yeah, I’m here. What’s up?”
“I asked if you liked the dessert I made,” Twilight stated, pointing toward the bowl of various fruits and sugary… things in the bowl in front of him. “You’ve barely touched it.”
“Oh, sorry, Twi.” Spike immediately got a spoonful and put it in his mouth. His eyes widened immediately upon impact, the sweetness and overall tartness giving his taste buds a panic attack. “Woah!”
“What do you think?” Twilight asked expectantly. “I tried to make something that was equally sweet and healthy. Hence the fruits and snow peas I put in there.”
Spike looked back at the dish and then up at Twilight. “Actually, Twi, this tastes like something that shoved healthy food into lockers back in High School.” He noticed Twilight’s hopeful demeanor evolve into a frown. “But, I mean, that’s totally not a bad thing. A healthy dessert isn’t really a dessert, right? It’s totally top-tier, no worries.”
Twilight perked back up. “Thank you, Spike!”
Derpy nodded in agreement. “Yes, Twilight, it’s very good. I would love to let Dinky try this sometime, but she’d probably get a sugar rush and I don’t think the town could handle her with that much energy.”
Twilight snickered. “Yeah, I don’t think that’d be the best idea. What do you think of it Starlight?”
The unicorn in question kept her eyes down, spinning the food around in her bowl with a spoon. “It’s great, I’m sure.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Are you okay, Starlight? You don’t quite seem to be yourself. I hope the sandwiches didn’t make you sick.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just…” She paused for a moment, giving Spike one of the saddest frowns a pony could possibly wear. “It’s nothing, I promise.”
“Well, okay then,” Twilight said with a nod before turning to Spike. “You don’t really seem to be yourself either, Spike. Normally I’d have had to apologise on behalf of at least one of you, but now you’re both quiet as, well… me, usually.”
Spike shrugged but tried to play it cool. “No, don’t worry about it, Twi. I’m pretty sure I’m just coming down with one of those bugs that make you sleepy all the time. Give me another day or so, and everything will be right back to normal.”
“Pfft,” Starlight spoke up, just louder than a whisper. “I really don’t know how you can just say that, Spike.”
Spike’s eyes immediately shot to the unicorn who was still staring at the table. “Well, yeah, things will be normal. You get sick, you get better, life goes on.”
“Sure thing. Whatever you say.”
Derpy gently tapped a hoof on Spike’s shoulder. “Um, Spike, are you alright?”
Spike snapped out of it again and turned to his marefriend. “Huh? Yeah, I’m alright. I promise. Like I said, I’ve just been tired a lot and stuff. But I’ll get over it pretty quick.”
“I hope so.” She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek followed by a bright smile. “I don’t like seeing you unhappy.”
Spike waved a claw. “Nah, of course I’m happy! I’ve got the most beautiful mare in the world with me. What isn’t there to be happy about? LIke I said, I’m just a bit tired. I’ll get over it.”
A loud thud was heard on the table courtesy of Starlight’s hoof. “You’ve had a long time for it to get better, Spike. You can’t just get over it!”
All three turned their attention back to Starlight who was now glaring at Spike. The dragon in particular was biting his lip, trying to think of something he could say to deescalate the situation from his end.
Luckily, Twilight took the baton from him first.
“Starlight… did Spike do something that you know about?” Twilight peered back and forth between the two of them. “Is it something that I need to know about?”
Starlight continued to glare at the dragon for another moment before once again dropping her line of vision back to the table. “It’s… it’s not really my place to talk about I guess.”
“Yeah, you see?” Spike exclaimed. “Absolutely nothing to worry about. We’re both just kinda tired and not feeling well, apparently.”
“You’re not wrong,” Twilight said. “Okay then. Sorry about all the craziness, Derpy. I didn’t mean to invite you over when everypony was cranky and sleep deprived.”
She shook her head. “It’s okay. I’ve been out with Spike when he’s tired and hungry. This is nothing compared to what I’ve seen before.”
“Hey,” Spike said, giving Derpy a light nudge. “It’s not being cranky. It’s just my natural dragon instincts taking over, periodically. I am a part of a highly aggressive, dangerous, and mysterious species, after all.”
Derpy giggled. “Mhmm, yes, sweetheart. You have some dessert on your face by the way.” She grabbed a napkin and wiped off the food remnants on his cheek. “There you go, I got it.”
Spike drummed his claws on the table. “Well, just when I thought my species was advancing, here I come just to send it back a few millennia.”
Twilight and Derpy both chuckled at his response, leaving Starlight as the sole quiet individual at the table, as if she was trying to make things awkward. If anything, she was trying everything she could to not make a sound. But, from Spike’s point of view, he could clearly see the tears rolling down her cheeks, and he realized exactly how hard she was trying to not make a scene.
He had to look away.
“So, Derpy,” Twilight began. “I’m not trying to be overly invasive or awkward, of course, but do you and Spike have any goals or anything you’ve set with each other? Like, for the future I mean.”
Derpy blushed heavily and ducked her head slightly. “Oh, well…”
“Yeah, I appreciate the effort Twi but that was kind of awkward no matter how you say it.” Spike rubbed the back of his neck. “As far as the future goes… I guess only time will tell. I just hope it’s really happy and stuff.”
Derpy perked up a bit and smiled. “Me too. Oh, speaking of which…”
“Yeah?” Spike asked.
Derpy rotated on her seat to face Spike directly. “So, next week, Dinky is working with a couple of other fillies and colts in town on a play. They’re hosting it at Miss Cheerilee’s school on Wednesday. I was wondering if you’d like to go see it, too?”
Spike began nodding rapidly before forcing himself to a halt. Wednesday… that was one day after… Forget it, there wouldn’t be any problems with his appointment Tuesday. Nopony needed to worry about anything.
“Yeah, of course I’ll be there. No worries.”
“Aww, that sounds adorable,” Twilight said. “If I can, would I be able to join you guys?”
Derpy bobbed her head. “Of course! The more the—”
“I can’t do this anymore!”
All three turned toward Starlight who was now sitting upright, tears openly streaming down her beet red face.
Twilight shot out of her chair. “Starlight?! What’s wrong. What’s going on? What’s ha—”
“You have to tell them!” She shouted, pointing a hoof toward Spike. “Tell them right now or I will!”
It was Spike’s turn to get out of his chair. “Starlight! You promised! This isn’t a big deal. They don’t need to know anything.”
Twilight cautiously turned toward the dragon. “Spike? What’s going on?”
Derpy stood up as well, gently leaning against her dragon. “I’m… I’m afraid. What is she talking about?”
Starlight choked out a few sobs before gaining the ability to speak again. “Please… Please Spike. We love you. They deserve to know.”
Spike took a step back away from the three mares. His eyes darted between them, one at a time. Starlight was the only one crying, but all three had looks of concern plastered on their faces.
He really didn't have a choice anymore.
“Fine.. Fine! I’ll tell you!” He took a few deep breaths as a few unwitting tears began to fall down his cheeks. “So, yeah, considering you all asked, I’ll tell you the truth. My visit to the doctor’s wasn’t good! It wasn’t good at all…”
Yesterday....
“Okay, no more jokes. Let me just sign those release forms so I can see my marefriend.”
Dr. Shavargo slowly approached him. “Spike, I’m afraid it won’t be as simple as that.”
The dragon rolled his eyes. “It never really is, is it? More tests?”
“No, no more tests,” the pony doctor spoke up. “We’ve reviewed what Dr. Shavargo found and there is something we need to speak to you about immediately.”
Spike bounced his eyes between the three of them, looking for some form of sarcasm or playfulness on their faces… but only seriousness could be found. Even Nurse Redheart, who was always good for a joke or two was straight-faced as they spoke.
“Is something wrong?” Spike asked.
Dr. Shavargo spoke up again. “Spike, I am not going to waste your time by beating around the bush. You have a serious draconic ailment that needs attention immediately. Do you understand this?”
Spike simply stared at her, all of his nerves standing on end. He couldn’t even feel his heart beating or lungs taking in breath.
“I… I’m sick?”
Nurse Redheart nodded. “Yes, Spike. Very much so, I’m afraid.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Spike retorted, waving both of his claws. “You mean like I have a flu or something right? I take some medicine, drink some fluids lay in bed all day and I’m good right?”
Dr. Shavargo shook her head. “No, Spike. It’s a much bigger issue than that.”
“You see, Spike,” the pony doctor spoke up. “After reviewing your medical records, it came to our attention that you’ve been dealing chest and muscle pains for a long time, correct?”
“Yeah,” Spike replied. “But I was always told they were probably just part of growing as a dragon and they’d go away. I’ve been waiting for them to just go away this entire time!”
“Well, that’s the thing,” the doctor said. “It was until Dr. Shavargo got to look at your records and compare the blood samples and other tests she did that we found out what the problem is.”
“And what’s that?” Spike asked. “What’s the problem?!”
Dr. Shavargo began. “There is a rare draconic ailment that inflicts younger dragons occasionally. We call it Draconian Aortic Syndrome. You are in a very advanced stage of it, I’m afraid.”
Spike shrugged. “I don’t even know what that is? What does it mean?”
She continued. “It’s a defect that causes issues in draconic growth, primarily of the connective tissues in your body. Hence why you get pains in your joints and muscles when exerting yourself.”
“So…” Spike looked at all three of them. “I’m gonna have to live with being sore the rest of my life? That kinda sucks, but I can deal.”
“No, there’s more to it than that,” she replied. “Eventually, the connective tissues break down so severely that you will suffer what’s called Aortic Dissection. The tissue of your main blood vessel attached to your heart will weaken, tear, and will almost certainly lead to death.”
If Spike didn’t feel like he had a bag of bricks weighing on his chest before, he sure as heck did now. “So… you’re saying I’m going to… die?”
Nurse Redheart looked at him. “That is what the disease causes, yes. And if we don’t act soon, you’ll be in serious trouble, Spike.”
Spike shook his head. “No way… I don’t believe you guys. This is a joke right? Ha ha, you got me! You got me good! Just a little revenge for all the trouble I caused in the hospital the past few years, right? Redheart? Please tell me I’m right?”
Silence.
“No! There’s just no way!” Spike slammed a claw on the bed. “How could I have gone this many years in Ponyville, going to the doctor’s every year, and never having an idea that something this serious could be going on?”
The pony doctor shook his head. “Spike. We’re extremely sorry. None of us were ever knowledgeable enough with dragon biology to make a diagnosis like that. It wasn’t until recently anyhow that relations with the dragons were good enough to get a specialist over here to study you formally.”
“I can’t believe this…” Spike shook his head. Deep down, he knew they were right. Ponies just weren’t trained to deal with dragon health. If anything, he should’ve been the one to take the reigns and go to the dragonlands to see a specialist.
“Look,” Spike said, trying to maintain a sense of calm. “You mentioned something about ‘acting now’. What are my options?”
Dr. Shavargo was the first to speak. “I am trained to perform a surgery that can help you. It will basically strengthen and repair any damage to your aorta that’s already been done. It won’t prevent the pain or danger from resurfacing, but it would take you out of danger at the moment.”
Spike nodded. “Okay, that sounds good. Let’s just do that then. Can we just do it today while you’re here?”
“Hold on a second, Spike,” Redheart said. “There is a drawback you need to be aware of.”
“Which is?”
“The surgery is not a guaranteed success,” Dr. Sharvargo stated. “It is very risky. Blood loss will occur during the operation and death isn’t out of the realm of possibility. Also, if the healing does not proceed as planned afterwards, a massive dissection could occur, as well.”
Spike looked at her directly. “So, you’re saying the surgery itself…”
“Could kill you. Yes, that is correct.”
He looked between the three of them. “So… what if I skip the surgery option and just take my chances on my own? What are my odds then?”
“A year at most,” Redheart said aloud. “Maybe two if you’re extremely lucky.”
Spike took a deep breath. “So, either I take my chances with a surgery that could save me but also kill me, or I blow it off and live another year or so. Right?”
Dr. Shavargo nodded. “Yes. Those are the two options.”
Spike shook his head. “Please tell me there are more options than just those two.”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Spike. Those are the only two.”
He released a deep sigh. “And, just for point of reference, what are the odds of dying during the surgery?”
“I’ve performed this on nine dragons in my eighty years as a doctor. Three of them died from it.”
Spike gripped the mattress he was sitting on. “Heh… so a thirty percent chance of dying in the next week or a one-hundred percent chance of dying in the next year. Gotta love the sounds of that.”
“Spike…” Nurse Redheart said, placing a hoof on his shoulder. “I know this isn’t easy to hear. Please, do what you think is best, but I urge you to take the surgery. Dr. Shavargo is a great doctor and frankly… Equestria isn’t ready for you to go yet.”
He slowly nodded. “Yeah… I don’t think I’m ready to leave yet, either. Can I have just an hour or so to think about it before letting you know what I want? Please?”
“Of course,” the pony doctor replied. “Dr. Shavargo would have to return to the dragon lands to collect some supplies in the event of you choosing the surgery option, so we would not be able to operate today. However, we will return in an hour and whatever you choose we will assist you the best way we can.”
Spike nodded and watched the three of them leave the room. As soon as he was alone, he flopped back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling.
He had a lot of thinking to do and not a whole lot of time to do it.
All three mares were staring at him.
“So, yeah, that’s it guys,” Spike said, averting his gaze to anywhere but the ponies in front of him. “I’m dying. I’m dying and the operation is on Tuesday. I’m living the life, huh?”
“No…” Derpy’s voice was quivering as she attempted to speak. “No, no, no…”
“What’d I tell you?” Spike said, shrugging his shoulders. “Nopony wanted to hear about this whole dumb situation anyway! It’s stupid. It’s really freakingstupid!” He used his free claw to grab the chair he was seated at and tossed it a few feet away. “One day you think ‘Oh, everything is great!’ And then BAM! Life smacks you upside the face. Maybe I'm the stupid one here for thinking things could just be easy and happy like they’ve been. Yeah… that’s probably it.”
“No… No…” Twilight darted her eyes around the room in a panic. “Oh.. M-Maybe Celestia will know what to do! She always knows what to do! I-I’ll go get the inkwell and ask her!”
She immediately began sobbing, and attempted to run up the stairs, only to be stopped by Starlight who pulled her into a tight embrace.
“Shh, shh, shh…” Starlight said, holding onto Twilight while attempting to reign in her own tears.
“This can’t be—no, this isn’t happening!” Twilight’s body melted, only being held up by Starlight as she began wailing into her shoulder.
Spike had to look away as his heart was breaking by the second. His gaze drifted to Derpy, who was still standing in front of him. Her eyes were wide as she stared at him, unmoving.
“S-Spike?” she asked.
He couldn’t look at her. “Yeah, Derpy?”
“Please tell me you’re lying?” Derpy asked, her voice wavering. “Please? Lie to me… just this once?”
Spike grimaced. “I told you I’d always tell you the truth. But… everything will be alright. You trust me, right?”
She shook her head. “No…”
And then the floodgates opened for her as she darted into him, burying her muzzle into his chest and pulling him towards her with her wings. All Spike could do was wrap his arms around her and hold her close.
“I love you, Spike…”
He gently rested his chin on her head and stroked a claw through her mane. “I love you, too.”
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8907418
Bro. If he dies, I will throw a fit and cry.
SPike must not die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well then loop officially thrown.
I was expecting to have to take a multi year sleep or some such not... anything near this serious.
Well, that was rude. Didn't ask for even more feels. Surely you're not gonna actually kill off Spike, right?
8907465
Hey man, I just do what the story outline tells me.
...Of course, I did write the story outline, so I suppose I bear some fault in all this.
But, I shall not reveal what happens. Trust me, though. The ending will be very enjoyable in one way or another. I'm not releasing any chapters until my editor can verify they don't suck.
8907472
Yeah.
Make sure my ending chapters don't suck.
a happy song to help cheer up people from the sadness
Holy [BEEP], this just got real.
8907565
You see? The conflict came eventually... It only took 100k words, lol.
8907591
First, Dinky is stricken with disease, now Spike. Why is the world so cruel?!
8907594
At least Dinky got better, right?
Fun story: when I first started planning this fic out last year, I had a few branching pathways I thought about taking it. One was with Derpy and Spike getting married after Dinky got better, only for Dinky to actually die right after they move in together and then have a whole arc dedicated to Spike and Derpy working together to get over her death.
I'm glad I strayed away from that one because it would've been a bit too heavy to write.
Well... Damn.
8907611
Holy [BEEP], that would have been heavy. I actually am kinda glad you diddn’t Do that now.
Not cancer... This is worse...
FamousLastWords why do you do this to me?
Can I say I called it? XD
Poor spike, reminds me of my cat, I lost her to such a disease too
I was okay until then.
Had a feeling. A few too many "checkups" in this story to be merely filler, and now it's finally came to a head. I'd be lying if I said I'm not excited to see how you wrap this up, but I will say you're going to have a lot of disappointed comments coming in if you add a "Tragedy" tag for the story at the end.
The stories I reads latelys asres fsull ofs over thes top drama or some deadly stuffs. It is not this stories fault, but it still gets annoying after a while.
I mean when they try to make the mainchar feel as bad as possible.
"Lie to me."
"Everything will be okay."
OUCH
8907829
If it's any consolation, this story legitimately can't be told without this conflict. I promise I'm not doing it just because.
8907849
Had to rewrite that line like 5 times to make it sound right. Writing sad dialogue is actually really difficult.
8907909
Oh it was absolutely worth it for that line alone.
I still have no idea what I would taste like.
OwO
I'm surprised he hasn't spurred out any swear words yet
Well, this chapter was just one big oof to everyone. I mean can't you have the sun goddess watch over the surgery to prevent blood loss and heal Spike? I mean she can move the sun, surely she can heal Spike. Or maybe go to the dragon lands? I'm sure they have better surgeons there, you know princess/lord/queen Ember right?
Hopefully Dinky will never hear about this. Because I fear what'll happen the mai heart and mai soul
Edit: I just noticed the sad tag...well then....
If you wanted to go full ham with the whole Shakespearian Tragedy Theme:
1). Spike doesn't survive the surgery.
2). Dinky then dies a week later due to the shock of Spike's death aggravating her condition.
3). Derpy becomes severely depressed and dies of a broken heart after watching both of her loved ones perish within such a short span of time.
But just remember that:
jrlburke.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/could-should.jpg?w=620
Not saying that you would do that, but I don't think anyone wants the story to end on such a dark and depressing note. But I have read stories on here that had no Tragedy tag and BOOM, sad ending out of nowhere so I am a bit leery.
Damn! My feels hurt. Pull though, Spike!
I totally forgot about the doctor visit, my first thought to starlights behaviour was that she was in love with spike and couldn't hold her tongue anymore
8907886
Yes I now it can't be helped sometimes but the feeling if it get's to much sometimes is just there.
Uhm the drama overload I mean.
So basically until some new procedure is invented spike will have to have regular strengthening surgeries for the rest of his life? Or is this a one-time surgery that can't be repeated?
8908179
It would be a one-time surgery but would extend his life a by a good chunk.
Ohhhhh I Love you for this story.... And I Hate you for it >.< Being the proud owner of one artificial heart valve I'm pretty sure i know how those pains can be... easily written off, god damn I knew I'd like this story when i saw it but not once did i think i'd be able to relate so much to Spike!
8908191
Here comes the feels, alleluia, here comes the feels...
I say take the surgery and hope for the best.
The Crystal Empire would go on a absolute riot if Spike does not make it through.
"Who sitting by Twilight." good job team, grade A editor 10/10 IGN
A comma after "as" may help this flow a bit better. Just a suggestion.
Bricks?
Dragons.
Accidental quotation mark.
So uh. This chapter. Yeah. Ow. Like, ouch. Really didn't need this.
On a lighter note, Curify needs to git gud yo
8909440
The sad thing about the bricks thing is that we actually went over that sentence a couple times, rewriting it. I must've gotten it screwed up while trying to fix it.
8907990
Yeah, and we can fly to the moon but we cant cure a cold. Different field entirely.
The reason this is so hurtful is simple. The higher your spirits are, the farther they have to fall. Years ago (before MLP gen 4 happened), I read a fanfic that did something similar. The authors made sure you loved a certain character, then killed her off. Back then a through a fit. Then I collaborated in another story that did something like that, making sure you loved a character, then killed her (that time it was my idea, knowing the kind of impact it would have). I don't know if Spike will die. But it's the same concept. Raising the spirits of the readers so that the bad news has that much more impact when it happens.
It still hurts like it did back then. But at least I have enough experience to not end up throwing a fit from it.
I've also read a story that had a hard fall, not because of how high the spirits were set, but because of how deep the hole was (the hole being the intensity of how a death happened).
3.bp.blogspot.com/-6_75-dgRsCo/VQqX7RHjjxI/AAAAAAAAAjg/bf3QbMVlK6Q/w530-h798-p/ScarBooks01-www-scarfolk-blogspot-com.jpg
When you pick this story up for the romance, not realizing what's in store for the later chapters.
Bad things happen to good ponies, and good dragons.
Well things just took a sudden dark turn.
This was entirely unexpected... but from the foreshadowing department, your twist here is kinda curve ball. Tonally, this is a sweet SoL romance with some drama bits and good things... up until now. I don't dislike the development, and I knew it would be coming eventually, and while you've shown how much Spike has to lose - his girlfriend, Dinky, Starlight, and his family - this didn't have strong enough foreshadowing, at least as I recall. Nothing is out of character and it doesn't feel like different stories, but I really don't entirely see where this development came from, and that's really the only issue with the story - and maybe how late it came, because before this it's been a lovely romance with excellent pacing to breeze through... and now? Hmm. There doesn't feel like there will be enough time to explore such a development.
8975636
This segment is based on a similar disorder I have and I put it in the same way, I found out: At a doctor's office for a different reason and then the bomb dropped. My goal was to put as much of the twisty-turny, unfair and unexpected life events in here as realistically as possible. Life often times doesn't give us foreshadowing, closure or reasons for why things happen. Sometimes, they just do.
One word, damn.