Reckless Abandon
It had been a few days since the dinner with Rarity. Not much had transpired since then for Spike. Well, nothing that could be considered enjoyable. The misfortunate dragon had been tasked with helping Twilight in her copious amounts of organization shenanigans. He also found himself forcibly roped into helping Starlight with her mandatory homework Twilight gave her. He found a special amount of displeasure in helping her study Tropic of Unicorn. There were many awkward glances to be had that night.
But, above all else, he was preoccupied with exactly how things were going to go the upcoming weekend. What would he wear? How much cologne was too much? What was the socially acceptable distance of which his claws should be from Derpy’s flank while dancing? What if things ended up in a boring disaster and his life as he knew it came to a crashing halt?
The last few questions were definitely the most paramount in his mind.
He hadn’t had the opportunity to see Derpy much recently, unfortunately. He was busy doing the aforementioned torturous tasks and she was occupied with doing her usual mail route, dealing with Dinky’s energetic antics and being adorable, as always. But, he would make up for it in spades when the dance came around… or he’d embarrass her in front of the highest of societies and they’d be lucky to be on a last name basis going forward.
Speaking of said dance though, he had yet to tell anypony of it. Twilight had been busy with other princess-ish things and Starlight would give him an unending supply of passive-aggressive remarks. So, he really didn’t even want to tell them about it.
But, due to extreme circumstances, extreme measures needed to be taken. And those extreme measures led him to Starlight’s room.
“So, you come to me on this, the day of my scheduled all-day nap.” Starlight spun around the face the dragon standing in the entrance of her room. “What is it that you need?”
Spike clasped his claws together and slowly approached her. “Starlight, I seek your help for I have fallen short of expectations. There is an event most important coming up and I am not worthy.”
Starlight nodded slowly and leaned back into her chair. “So, here you are, asking for my help. But you never invited me into your room, you never—”
“Okay,” Spike said, waving his arms. “Can we not do this? I know you’re hyped on that stage play you saw with Trixie, but this is kinda serious.”
Starlight pouted. “Okay, fine. What is it?”
Spike walked over and hopped on her bed. “So, there’s this dance thing coming up in Canterlot, right? Pretty hush-hush.”
“You mean Luna’s Couple’s Dance?” Starlight responded.
“Wait, you’ve heard of it?”
“Yeah. Luna’s newsletter.” Starlight levitated a small magazine off her desk. “You’re not… oh, my bad. Sorry, Spike. Continue.”
The dragon rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Anyway, I’m taking Derpy there this weekend for it and there is a bit of an issue. Although it pains my very soul to say it, I need your help.”
Starlight brought a hoof up to her ear. “Oh, I’m sorry. What was that?”
“Starlight…”
“I’m sorry, Spike,” she said, making a mock showing of cleaning out her ear. “I just didn’t quite catch that. But, I could’ve sworn you said something to the effect of… ‘needing my help’?”
The dragon rolled his eyes. “Yes, I need your help. This dance is ultra important and I need everything to go smoothly.”
“It’s just a dance,” Starlight said. “You’ve already been to her place, had your first kiss and half a dozen other important things. What’s so special about this?”
“It’s our first, like, fancy date. You know, prim and proper and whatnot.” Spike cast his gaze down for a moment. “And it’s our first time really being official in public. Well, not the first first time, but like—”
“It’s the first time you guys will be seen and noticed by others as a couple.” Starlight hopped off her chair and hopped on the bed next to Spike. “I get it. You want everything to be great and yada yada yada.”
“Pretty much,” he responded, drawing his eyes back up to look at her. “But not really just for me. Like, she’s already pretty and stuff, so she’s good on her end. But me? I’ve gotta make sure I’m in top form there or I’ll end up making us stick out like a sore hoof.”
Starlight giggled. “Well, considering you’re probably gonna be the only one there with scales and fangs, I imagine you’d stick out anyway. But, fear not, I get the point. So, the real question is, what do you need help with?”
Spike blushed. “Well, it’s kinda awkward to talk about, but…”
“Oh gosh,” Starlight said, flailing her hooves to and fro. “I am not helping you with that. You’re just gonna have to do what everypony else has to: close your eyes and hope for the best.”
Spike stared at her for a second. “What are you— No! That’s not what I meant! I’m talking about dancing!”
“Huh?” Starlight snapped to her senses. “Oh! Okay, that’s better.”
“Yeah, about time you understood… wait. Is it really that much of a free-for-all the first time doing, well, you know?”
“Oh yeah, totally.” Starlight gave him a grim nod. “It’s no pony’s land out there.”
Spike shook his head. “Well, time to add that to the list of things to worry about in the future. Anyhow, let’s focus on the task at hoof if we could. I know you’ve learned a lot of stuff from Twilight before as well as stuff when you were in your repression phase. So, I’m hoping you can maybe teach me to dance, at least a little bit, before the event. Because, honestly, I’ve got two right feet when it comes to anything involving grace and balance.”
“I think you mean left feet.”
“Nah, I’m left-footed.”
Starlight rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Continue.”
“Long story short,” Spike said, taking Starlight’s hoof in his claw. “I’m asking this not as your friend but as your glorified family member: Will you help me learn to dance?”
Starlight used her free hoof to rub her chin. “Hmm… No.”
“What? Why?” Spike let go of her hoof and folded his arms. “After all we’ve been through together you turn your back on me in my hour of need? And to think of all the the nice things I thought but didn’t really say about you!”
“Calm down, geez,” she replied. “It’s not that I don’t wanna help you. I just honestly don’t know anything about dancing, either. I never took enough time to learn before and never really cared enough, either.”
Spike let out a deep sigh. “Great. So I’m hopeless then, huh? There’s no way Twilight can teach me. I know that from experience.” Spike shuddered just thinking about it.
“It does seem that way,” Starlight said. However, after a brief moment of silence, she thrust her hoof in the air. “Actually, I may have an idea!”
Spike looked up at her. “You do?”
“Mhm!” She hopped off the bed and dashed toward the door. “I do believe I know a pony that will be more than capable of helping you learn to dance.”
Spike really didn’t want the fact he was trying to learn this new feat escape past the castle walls, but at the same time, any help would be appreciated. He really didn’t want to look like an idiot out on the floor. Even more so, he really didn’t want Derpy and him to have to be that couple that just sits on the sidelines the entire time.
His choice was clear.
“Alright, I’ll take whatever help I can get.” He hopped off the bed as well so he could follow her outside the room. “But, uh, can you tell me who it is?”
As they exited the room and began to walk down the halls, Starlight paused for the briefest of seconds to turn around and give him a wink. “You’ll see.”
Oh boy…
What was she planning? Where was she going? Who was she retrieving? What would come of this venture to learn how to dance? Why did he care so much? Did she remember it was her turn to make dinner tonight?
These and many more questions were burning at the mind of Spike as he sat at the dining table, spinning an endless swirl of circles into his coffee. The more he thought about it, the less comfortable he felt about everything. He couldn’t have just left well enough alone, could he? He had to once again let his mind think up the worst things imaginable and force him to take the extra step to make things perfect… Even though they weren’t that bad to begin with.
“Hey, Spike!”
“Ahh!” Spike leaped out of his seat and flipped around to find Twilight standing behind him. “Oh, hey, Twi. You scared me.”
“I can tell,” she replied whilst rummaging through the fridge. She popped out a moment later with a couple carrots held in her magic. “I honestly wasn’t expecting to find you at home, today.. It’s beautiful outside.”
“Yeah, well, I’m trying to avoid having an early mid-life crisis right now,” he replied, returning to his aimless swirling. “You don’t know the struggle, Twi. It’s beyond your understanding.”
“And what kind of struggle might that be?” Twilight sat on a chair next to him and began munching on a carrot.
“Oh, nothing really.” Spike sighed and turned his attention up to Twilight. “I’m just eating the last few kernels of popcorn as I watch my life burn slowly into a pile of smoldering ash. You know, the same way I usually spend my afternoons.”
“Oookay,” Twilight replied. “So, something tells me this self-deprecating monologue in some way has something to do with Derpy. Or comic books. Am I warm?”
Spike threw his arms in the air. “This is no ordinary situation, Twi. This is the gods above stealing my last hay fry while I’m not paying attention. This is pure anarchy in its most refined state. Why? Because this time, my entire social life rests in a particular set of hooves that may or may not drop it like a mid-tier dubstep bass line. Comic books ain’t got nothing on this. But yeah, you’re close to the Derpy thing.”
Twilight blinked. “Now you’ve lost me.”
“Okay, let’s get down to business.” Spike shook off his lackadaisical posture and sat upright. “There’s this dance thing coming up this weekend and I’m going with Derpy, right?”
“Luna’s Couple’s Dance?”
“Yeah, that’s th— Wait, you know about it, too?”
“Of course,” she replied. “I’m signed up for Luna’s—”
“Newsletter, I get it,” Spike replied. “I swear, I’m the last one to know everything.”
“Well, it’s not just that,” Twilight said. “I’ll be there, too.”
“You have a date?” Spike asked, eyes a bit wider than before. “That’s awesome! Surprising, but still awesome!”
Twilight sighed. “No, not this time. Luna asked if I could come as a co-host of sorts. Celestia isn’t going to make it and she wanted another Princess to oversee things so I was the first one she asked.”
“Oh,” Spike said. “Sorry, Twilight.”
She shook her head. “Don't worry about it, Spike. It’ll be fun getting to catch up with Luna and such, anyhow. Not to mention my favorite slow-jazz band is providing the music. But, please, continue with what you were saying.”
Spike nodded. “Right. Well, we’re going to that dance. But, I’m not really up to par for events like this. And on top of that, it’s the first ‘formal’ public appearance for me and Derpy, so to speak. I want everything to go right and be fun for both of us. So, I may or may not have asked Starlight for help with learning to dance.”
Twilight nearly choked on her carrot she was chewing. “Starlight? Hah, scraping the bottom of the barrel there a bit, aren’t you?”
“Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures.”
“I can’t argue that point,” Twilight said, finishing up her laughter spasm.
“Yeah,” Spike said with a small laugh of his own. “But, to be fair, you’re not exactly the prime example of dancing finesse, either.”
The alicorn scowled. “For your information, I’ve gotten quite a lot better.”
“I’m sure you have, Twilight,” Spike said. “But, to continue the point of why my fate hangs in the balance, Starlight admitted she couldn’t help me and ran off to who knows where to grab a pony who can apparently teach me how to dance like a pro.”
Twilight’s eyes popped open. “Who is it?”
“I don’t know,” Spike said. “She wouldn’t tell me. Hopefully, she’ll be back soon so we can find out.”
“Interesting,” Twilight said, staring at the ceiling. “Of all the citizens in Ponyville, I can’t really think of anypony who’s known for being a dancing instructor, let alone somepony who doesn’t have two left hooves.”
“Hey, I resent that statement! You don’t the struggle of being a left-clawed dragon in a right-hoofed world... But yeah, me neither,” Spike said. “That’s why I’m nervous. But I’ll tell you what. She’s probably gonna have to come back with a creature from the darkest pits of Tartarus because only a pact with Tirek himself can fix my lack of ballroom grace.”
As if on cue, they both heard the front door slam open.
Starlight’s voice rang out from the front door. “I’m back and I brought your savior, Spike!”
The dragon and Twilight both climbed out of their seats and wandered to where Starlight was shouting from. She was rooted in front of the open front doors.
“Spike, I bring before you the answer to all your troubles. Possibly the greatest dancer and entertainer in all of Ponyville…”
“Oh, no.”
A blue unicorn mare hopped through the door in a whirlwind of smoke and sparks. “The Graceful and Balletic Trixie is here!”
Spike pouted. “Why couldn’t you have just brought Tirek with you, instead?”
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8829251
Yeah man. I'm sure the real world is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there. *catchy pop music plays*
8829260
*aggressively searches for a meaning to life*
A classic literature reference? Wow, you must have high expectations for your audience.
...also, on an unrelated note, I'm pretty sure Tirek wasn't killed, just imprisoned again.
8829267
I've actually always wondered about his true fate. But, for the sake of things making sense, I'll change the line to something a bit more open to interpretation.
I love Spike in this story.
I knew it
And Spike...(SIGH) I know your struggle man. I'm left handed too. And I'm REALLY tired of having to look for left handed desks in my college classrooms. The struggle is hear and it's real
...
Cute chapter
Keep up the good work my good man
8829307
That pain came from a left-handed man, as well. I have a hard time doing everything in this right-handed society.
*eye twitch* ok, no, Starlight. This is not a good idea. Lol
Yeah, I knew Trixie was going to be the 'savior.' For some reason she always seems to be Starlight's fallback for like, everything.. No idea why.
Of course you threw in that Godfather reference.
I also got kind of a Bugs Bunny vibe from Twilight munching on carrots. "Ehhhhh, What's up, Spike?"
I want to subscribe to Luna's newsletter. It sounds like a hell of a lot of fun.
8829311
AMEN brother
i think spike is doomed
Here's a question. Is there anyone reading this that didn't predict that ending? Not that it wasn't done well or anything. But it felt so obvious that I half expected someone else.
Also, why wouldn't Spike ask Rarity? I mean, if he had, we wouldn't have gotten that Spike/Starlight brother/sister moment...or Trixie...or Starlight and Twilight also knowing of Luna's newsletter...
Oh dear, I can already tell that this is going to be fun!
Though the steady increase in the frequency and obviousness of certain innuendos is starting to make me a little... wary of the direction this story might take in the future.
8829371
Lol, no worries, bro. There's a lack of sex tag for the reason. Outside of the occasional humorous riff, this story really isn't about sexuality.
8829370
Thanks for pointing that out, man. I was so focused on making the scene happen, I probably could've added a bit more subtlety. Or maybe capitalized on a bit more awareness from Spike.
8829384
Okay, that's a relief to hear. I mean, everybody to their tastes, but it's hard to find a clean romance that's well-written these days.
8829480
Don't worry, I got you, fam.
There are a time and place for everything. This story really isn't about that particular aspect of the relationship. It's more about the growth and self-discovery side.
I wish it would have been Twilight this time.
He is left footed she is leftfooted, some in the comment sections seems to be leftfooted and I just don't know how to properly dance
Oh this will be interesting.
Wait, doesn’t every pony have two left hooves?
8829370
I’m pretty sure he realized that Rarity would be too busy making dresses for them and the other couples so he didn’t ask. Knowing her she would probably have helped, but Spike probably didn’t want her to overwork herself. That’s just what I’m assuming.
8829662
By jove, you're right!
Except for Griffons, who have two left claw/talon things, but same principal.
you know what would complicate spikes life even more. is if Starlight fell in love with spike
So Luna's going to oversee this event along with Twilight and watching her surrogate nephew's first dance with a mare?
Godfather? Really?!
Funny!
And now we got, Trixie the dance machine! We all knew it was going to be her, but that doesn't mean it's less fun to hear. Really looking forward to that chapter. And don't you dare time skip on us!
Great fun is inbound!
I get that you wanted starlight to pull her friend and it fit the tone of the story but a alternative option is pinkie pie as she is shown to dance multiple times in the show and is a party pony she would have the most expertise plus pinkie and spike are close friends in the show so him going to her would make sense
8829384
Yeah, but then we wouldn't have the scene we got.
Luna's newsletter is slowly becoming a running gag
Unless it's already hit that point.
We got a tv tropes page yet?
This is so dumb and I love it.
It's okay, Spike. A lot of ponies don't the struggle.
Oh no.
Goddamn you Starlight and your lewd mind
Hey, a show reference!
This is why Starlight is best pony alright? So is Trixie going to actually be a masterful and talented dancer or is Starlight trusting her friend way too much? And doesn't Trixie have a limit on how many times she can talk in third person? Slap her please Starlight.
WTF? I do hope Starlite has something else up her sleeve (metaphorically speaking in so many ways)
Twilight being able to concuss ponies with six limbs instead of four is not 'a lot better',
stealing fries is among the worst things you can do to anyone why would you reference something so graphic i am in tears oh my god
Me sitting here eating carrots while I read that. Huh.
I could swear that there was a madame dance instructor in Ponyville...but shoot if I know for sure without googling it.