My very first fanfic EVER. This story is a crossover of Transformers and MLP. Please note: This takes place in the Transformers: Prime universe, just before the events of Transformers: prime Beast hunters: Predacons rising. As this is not just my first fanfic, but the first story I have ever legitimately written, EVER, Constructive criticism would be nice. I don't expect much from this story, but it probably won't end up being more than 4 or 5 chapters. *COVER ART NOT MINE* My Little Pony and Transformers: Prime belong to Hasbro, and are not mine.
What will happen when two deceptacons suddenly show up in ponyville? will help arrive in time, or is ponyville doomed to destruction, along with the rest of equestria? read to find out! Rated Teen because of blood
The funny thing is, i wrote this so that my sister wouldn't. We were watching Transformers: Prime, and Optimus Prime was fighting zombies. Then, while he was killing zombies, my sister got this idea. "Bro! I have an idea! A pairing I must make! Of Optimus and Celestia!" and I said "Sis, no. just no. Optimus is just too epic to be defiled like that." and then she said "But Optimus could transform into a pony and they could be together!" she said, beginning to laugh her head off, then i said "Optimus is too big to be a pony. And just no. It just sounds wrong." Then i started telling her about how the story should be like this story, then I said "You know what? This is a GREAT Idea and I am TOTALLY going to write a story off of it, so that YOU can't" and then she said "Okay"[
Hmm I like
3905203 glad to hear it. i didn't expect so much positive feedback so soon after finishing it, and I have never even written a story before. LOL
3904624 actually, I do have an editor
I must say, this is a good fic... Although, a bit rushed, but still pretty good. I'll certainly be following this story and see where it goes. While it may not be as good as the 3 other fics, this one is definitely nothing to sneeze at. Very good job.
BTW, you misspelled "Deceptacons" for "Decepticons." Had to be picky there. 
3905434 Thanks, and yeah, my transfan friend told me that. what other 3 stories?
3907400 It's "Transformers Prime: Friendship is Magic(A Hub crossover special)", Transformers: Fall of Equestria, and Transformers: Equestria's Darkest Hour. The two last ones are somewhat bloody, and minor gore. But the first one is none at all gore.
You may have never heard of them, they're cool to read. But, I'm giving you thumbs up for effort.
3907692 A funny thing is, my friend who is not a brony, likes this story so far. He hates Trixie. The reason being because her voice is just so darn obnoxious.
He wants me to kill her off sometime in this story. I am currently trying to decide wheather to kill her off, SERIOUSLY injure her, or not even have her show up in the story. opinion?
this will sound weird, but I want SOMEONE to die, not Optimas, Bumblebee, Starscream, Shockwave, or any of the transformers characters, because that would spawn repercussions in the movie Predacons rising. Obviously not Rainbow dash, or any of the mane 6, but someone...
3908435 Out of curiosity, why kill some pony? While I had faved a fic or 2 that did have a pony die, I still dread the thought of a pony dying.
3908603 meh. I don't know, somethings wrong with me. but when *SPOILERS ROMOVED FROM THIS SENTENCE* somepony(s) will HAVE to at least get hurt
3908636 I'll admit, no pony is spared from pain. But death is something that I cannot stand to see. Especially with an innocent race like the equestrians.
3908751 Now I feel bad for even suggesting such a thing
but hey, at least i didn't write cupcakes, or rainbow factory. Both of which i cried after reading.
3908759 Ugh... Who even lives with a mind like that? It really makes me want Optimus Prime to demolish the factory... And cure Pinkie from the curse.
3908774 Hmmm... that can be arranged
3908777 Lol, have Optimus destroy the entire factory, while Celestia imprisons the sadistic ponies. No better yet, become banished.
3908786 "such villany CANNON go uncorrected. Ratchet, open a spacebridge to equestria. STAT"
Meanwhile at the rainbow factory
"Any last words?"
"... you have beautiful eyes" Scootaloo said, defeated. just as rainbow was about to flip the switch, CRASH
"Halt, you will cease to destroy lives, or i will be forced to destroy yours." came a strong voice.
-5 MINUTES LATER-
the whole factory lay in shambles. never to be used again. THE END
3908810 ... heheh...hahahahahHAHAHAHAHHHHHAHAHA.
!!!!!!!
3908822 that was the short version.
3908810 I'm sorry, but that was just too funny the way it was done. Rushed randomness, lol!
3908827 that was the point. Im actually watching transformers prime right now, so I have Optimas' voice fresh in my head
3908832 OK, but good job. Lol, oh my gosh.
3908845 did you get my message?
3908848 Yeah, I did.
3908852 funny? good idea?
3908854 Worth a few lols.
3908870 anyhow, stick around, because it is highly likely I will be finished with chapter 2 sometime in the next 20 minutes...
3908876 Lol.
3908883 LOL LOL LOL
why are we laughing? 
Don't expect too highly from me though. I'm fairly new to this site, about a few months old. Still haven't written my first fanfic.
3908887 I don't know... Pinkie infection maybe?
3908907
3908901 you think YOUR new? I havent been registered for more than a WEEK and I've ALREADY wrote a fanfic! LOL
3908914
3908921
3908929 lol wut?
3908935
Pretty good, definitely getting into the story.
3910330 yeah. now for chapter three. where do I start?
3911988 I have no idea!
3912112
"Still, I don't like it," said Ratchet."I'm still picking up that...
"Relax, Rachet, said Bumblebee. "We've already checked all the planets..."
"It couldn't be Megatron; we all saw him die, thanks to yours truly," he said rather proudly.
Same thing as stated above with the commas and periods.
"And that stuff" sounds far too out of place if you're trying for a serious atmosphere.
That must be one actuate telescope, or one big wormhole.
Circuits, said another...
." With that,"
You used "said" too much. Try using some other words. For example:
"There, he said, emerging from the capsule. "That went easier than expected... Now all we have to do is find a place to set up shop," he added as he dusted himself off.
(Don't quote me, just giving an example.)
Same with commas here, and who is "Sarscream"?
"deposit; it should be nearby."
Said! That doesn't"
Same with commas.
hurry; dawn is approaching.
You should mention this is back to when Luna first saw the thing.
Are you telling me that a thing falling from the sky and barely missing the castle, didn't wake up anyone?
You're saying Luna waited until morning to tell Celestia that she had seen something fall from space and crash into Equestria?
Commas.
Commas, but I don't think that was 100% necessary.
Anypony," Luna said.
I don't think Luna would say "recon" as she's been away for a long time and most certainly doesn't know modern military words.
four stallions. It's best to write out numbers one to one-hundred.
Them were expecting.
I might have missed some stuff, but I think that about covers it.
3913191 Wow, Big list. Thanks. If you like, I can send chapters to you VIA skype and a few notes: The telescope was BUILT for stargazing, and the wormhole opened in the upper atmosphere. You also left out part of the sentences in your quotes, But I will try to adapt. Also, Luna is saying "To avoid waking anypony" So why would 'anypony' be capitalized, when It's not the beginning of a sentence? as for nopony hearing the pod... well. I kind of imagined it being really quiet, like the sound a gas barbecue makes on medium-low flame. Starscream is a decepticon, look him up for more details, but he is the second in command in megatrons army, but after megatron died, he inherited command. search up Starsctream from transformers: prime to see what he looks like
I like it so far
3914940 Glad ton hear it
I like it so far, but you need to watch your spelling, there are a few words that are one letter off. Big fan of The Transformers and MLP, so far you have me wanting more!
soooooo hows about the next chapter