• Member Since 3rd Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen February 13th


I'm obsessed with Rainbow-Dash


Optimus Prime destroys the rainbow factory COVER ART NOT MINE

Chapters (2)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 12 )

......I can't even.

What's optimas. Also optimjs is not so ruthless.....

LOL. That's my reaction to the second version.
Seriously XD I nearly laughed, but it is also well written.
I only noticed two grammer errors:

"I must insist that you call of the guards." It added I think you meant 'off'

The weapons the pegasi were using - they shot lightning The sentence could be rephrased to make more sense because the subject being 'the weapons the pegasi were using' shouldn't have 'they shot' because that is basically repeating the first part of the sentence. It should be something like this: 'The weapons the pegasi used was lightning' or something similar to that sentence.

Very interesting. It was a little odd, but I liked how you wrote Rainbow Dashe's death. If I had to pick which pony to kill, it would most certainly be her. Not that I hate her or anything XD she's just my least favorite pony.
Anyhow, fellow brony, keep up the good work :D

I'm guessing you liked writing version one more than version two.

I didn't see any grammar mistakes here, and I can see this as being more realistic. Also, I think you should give credit to the part where you put in the ending of the original Rainbow Factory.

3922453 That's right, Optimas Prime Is not ruthless, he didnt WANT to kill Rainbow, he had to, plus, this isn't supposed to be serious

3923593 YOU DARE!? I vow on this day to NEVER kill Rainbow Dash EVER AGAIN

3924742 srsly though who is optimas?

3925177 Optimas prime? oh.. BUCK. I spelled optimus wrong :pinkiegasp: :pinkiecrazy:

With their leader dead, some of the guards started to panic, but the rest re-opened fire on Optimas, in an attempt to avange Rainbow. "I'll take you all on!" Optimus yelled, getting up and shooting everyone, using his sword occasionally to slice someone in half. When only five guards remained, they all ran away screaming. Pathetic.

The forest battle from Revenge of the Fallen is still one of the best fight scenes from the movies.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!