[Alternate Ending]
[This is an alternate, non-canon ending, picking up right after Lotus and Redheart finish with their steam session and leave the sauna.]
Lotus and Redheart entered the circular massage room after a short walk down a hallway, and Lotus directed a hoof toward an empty table. Redheart climbed atop the table wordlessly, settling into a prone position.
Lotus began the massage quickly, gently pressing her hooves into Redheart's back with practiced precision. She quickly increased the pressure as she moved her hooves around her back, eliciting a quiet moan from the prone pony that brought a smile to Lotus. The tension that had filled Lotus's nerves was almost entirely gone, as though she herself were getting a posh spa treatment.
It wasn't long, however, before Redheart broke the silence in the room. "You know, I didn't think that this spa ever sent out coupons."
Lotus paused the massage for half a second, but quickly recovered. "Business has been a little slow, so we thought we'd send out some incentives to remind Ponyville that we're still here and that we cater to all types of ponies."
"Ponies like Big Macintosh?"
Lotus stopped entirely, her blood turning to ice and her heart seeming to cease its beating.
Redheart curled around a little, looking up at Lotus with a sly grin. "Such an odd coincidence that you just happened to get into a fight the day after you were released from the hospital, causing you to be right there when my break hits so you can talk to me. And then, by an even stranger coincidence, I get a coupon in the mail for a spa service run by two ponies, one of whom happened to be that same pony I'd already met twice in one week. Curious, isn't it?"
Lotus shut her rapidly-moistening eyes, willing herself to calm down, but it wasn't working very well. Everything she'd been hoping for was crashing down around her. The plan had failed. She looked at the nurse as she tried to speak, to come up with some explanation, but her nerves were now devastated. "I-I... I couldn't..." she squeaked. Should she really do it? Should she really just pour her heart out right here in the spa?
Redheart's voice was soft, barely above a whisper. "It's okay, honey. You can tell me."
That opened the floodgates for Lotus. "My gosh, I'm so sorry! I didn't want to lead you on like this, really. It was Aloe and Big Mac's idea, but... but I just didn't know how to approach you."
The white pony nodded and opened her mouth, but Lotus didn't give her a chance to speak.
"When I first saw you, I... well, I got loopy. More loopy than I was from the drugs, I mean." Lotus was already on the verge of tears. There was no going back, now. "Oh, by Celestia, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I had Aloe give me a bloody nose so I could see you again, but then that didn't work and so I asked about you and... and...." She took in a deep, shuddering breath. "And I didn't know what else to do. So I asked Big Macintosh if he could set us up, and, well...."
Nurse Redheart sat up on the little table and wrapped her forelegs around Lotus's neck, and the shuddering, blue-coated pony held her right back. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Lotus quietly letting her emotions run out of her, until Redheart whispered into her ear, "I'm sorry, Lotus, I didn't mean to upset you."
Lotus pulled back, avoiding Redheart's own gaze. "A-are we... is it...."
"Is it okay?" Redheart asked quietly, prompting Lotus to give a little nod. "Well, honestly, it's a little complicated. You see, I'm not allowed to date my patients."
Lotus could practically feel her heart sinking like a scuttled schooner. "Oh," she simply said, unable to think of anything else.
Redheart put a hoof under the blue mare's chin, lifting her head up to look her in the eyes. "But you're not my patient anymore, are you?"
Lotus could practically hear the click in her own brain as she realized what Redheart meant. "So, it's okay, then?"
"It's complicated, since you used to be my patient, but I feel that it'll be fine."
Lotus sighed as she sat down on the floor, her frayed nerves demanding that she take a rest, and Redheart sat down next to her. "I'm sorry for the ruse," Lotus said.
"It's alright," the nurse responded, putting a hoof across the other mare's back. "I would've been nervous about such a situation, too."
The room was quiet for a few minutes as the worn-out spa pony rested and tried to figured out what to say next. "So, um, what happens now?" Lotus brushed a hoof against the carpet a little. "Should... should I finish the massage?"
Redheart chuckled a bit, hopping back onto the table. "If you like, sure."
Lotus smiled, standing back up and putting her hooves against the nurse's back again. Her rattled nerves were calmed a bit by the familiar action of massaging the white mare. The only sounds in the room came from the gentle moans and occasional squeak from Redheart, each noise making Lotus smile a little bit. Once the session was over, both mares headed for the front lobby.
"I, uh," started Lotus, pausing for a moment as Aloe gave her a wink from behind the counter, "suppose that I should ask if you'd like to go to dinner or something."
"That sounds lovely." Redheart stopped once they reached the door. "Are you free tonight?"
Lotus nodded, replying with a simple, "Mmhmm. We close up at eight. Does that sound okay?"
Redheart nodded. "I'll come by here at closing time."
"Great. I'll see you then, Redheart."
"See you then, Lotus." The snow-white nurse disappeared through the door.
Lotus pulled in a long, steady breath of relief that was followed by an ear-shattering squeal of elation.
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This... Is better... Well.. Better than that heart breaking first ending you tricked us all into reading through
I love both endings, though, but I like this one better because it doesn't bury my heart piece by piece six feet underground.
I was really happy when I saw this alternate ending update, but after reading it... The liked more the other version, but it's good to have both.
4269653
Honestly, the alternate ending could have been written better, but it certainly is happier this way.
4270740
Yeah, I prefer the sad ending, myself. I've always liked downer endings, though.
It's nice to have both. That first ending was over the top sad.
4271511
Agreed.
4271315 True, true... You could have made it a bit longer and fleshed it out more.
Yes.. it is happier this way.
Only I dare to call this ... interesting
37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lws1pnn3FV1r3k1m8o1_500.png
I remember back when I first read sleeplessbrony's Romance Report, that it's alternate ending (in this case the more melancholy of the two) was also that story's more powerful conclusion. I'm reminded of that here, where Lotus Blossom looks to an aching, unfulfilled future, instead of winning a small, joy filled victory. If there was ever a sequel, it might be more interesting to see how Lotus has moved on, or not, in her life, over how she manages a blooming relationship with the mare she's crushing on.
)
By the way, nice voice for the Spa Sisters. And, what you did with Big Macintosh? Fun. Like he somehow became the individual everypony should know. (
4854975
Agreed. I much prefer the sad ending, and will be going with that if I ever do a sequel. Something that explores how she's dealing with her pain, perhaps even still hoping she can be with Redheart, and what Aloe is up to.
Thanks. It was hard for me to write for them when I couldn't pin down exactly what accent they were supposed to have. And yeah, Big Mac was fun in this one. I just had this idea in my head that he's, like, Ponyville's ladies man and date doctor, and that all the guys go to him for advice (something about that super-deep drawl just seemed fitting to me).
It may be an influence of a fic I read right before this one, but my first thought was "how did a cabbage fit there?"
She starts to sound like Janis Joplin...
Rainbow Dash treatment? One of them goes back to get a book, the other to get the nurse...
Either love made her dumb, or she hit herself harder than the doctor thought...
Somewhere else, Flitter and Cloudchaser wept, realising that they're all alone...
I have a feeling that Lucky's parents didn't choose his name right...
Actually, I found it suspicious too...
Also, since I'm bad for my characters too, I much prefer the first ending. Seems more natural.
5568709
Not sure I want to know....
The thought of a pony dressing up as a hoodie ninja and sneaking into the hospital is a lot creepier when it's a sexy pony they're targeting.
Trivia: originally, this story was going to be about Lotus repeatedly injuring herself so she could spend time with Redheart. I dumped that because it would basically imply Lotus was insane.
But then they just banged, and everything was alright.
Not the best plan. At least they didn't have to pay for its orchestration.
Yeah, I like the first ending way more. I wrote all the way up to the massage scene, and just suddenly decided to dump the happy ending at the last second for something that felt more plausible in my sleep-deprived mind. So many things I had planned for this story just stretched my own suspension of disbelief too far, and thus, this thing was born (and I made my sixth "pony crying" scene).
5570691
That'd be a topic for a completely different story...
Yeah. Both of them would need therapy afterwards. And Lotus would probably spend some time in the hospital, if Redheart knows martial arts...
They banged and nothing happened...
So, that was the sixth? I'm trying to think how many ponies I made cry, but the only one I can remember now is Cloudchaser (and she basically went from crying to homicidal rather quickly).
I haven't seen too many rejection stories, especially those that lead me on such as this on did, but it was a for a harsh reality that sorta needed to be on here. Even if it did wreck my heart.
I hate rejection stories. Good thing you wrote an alternate ending.