Eric Davidson, a human, finds himself in an alien world and heavily wounded. In a desperate act to defy death, he nearly ends the life of a pony while trying to save his own. Even after what he did, Fluttershy is willing to overlook it and try to make friends with him, but other ponies aren't so forgiving. Could she still do it? Could he even accept it?
Edit: Although I am now working on this story the original author still deserves credit as without him the story wouldn't exist at all. Check him out here RedRioteer
Additional Tag: Human_That_Isn't_a_Little_Bitch
Chapters (23)
I like the idea.
You don't just create cliffhangers and not update them! I will now have to put this on my read later list! WHY!?!!??
Numerous spelling errors but the way you made the story, with the human being a marine, made it awesome
I like this.
Needs an editor but otherwise okay.
not quite the best HIE fic i've read, but nowhere near the worse. i actually quite like this.
Couple problems:
1.Spike was in the human world with Twilight. He should know what a human is.
2.You switch between first and third person a few times in this chapter.
heh a bug has an exoskeleton. il proof and edit for ya!
You are going to make a update soon or she cries
well, you seem to forget some things while you write.
an example, you introduced Fluttershy twice.
also, i'm pretty sure Twilight should have learned about hands and such, and i'm pretty sure she'd recognise the anatomy of a human at first sight.
I really don't know what to say to that.
After reading, I am now pissed. I wanna know what the hell prompted Rarity and Rainbow to do that. They apparently didn't give two flying feathers that he was bleeding out when they found him—and they knew, they tracked his blood—nor were they willing to trust their friends to figure out what was wrong.
That's one way to keep a reader interested long enough to at least find out what moronic idea played through their minds.
This is clearly the worst story ever. Fluttershy is clearly out of character, and Dave. OMG Dave! In the show, he was COMPLETELY different, wtf did you do!
Also Discord and Celestia are not in a relationship, W.T.F!
This is a abomination of a fiction, and delete it right now, or I'll call Knighty, I got him on speed dial! Also Obama is my best friend, and he's gonna kill you with his army, if I asked him to.
Overall, I'd give it so far a 7.4/10, I AM DISSAPOINT.
3583720 I don't think I put discord in this story...
3583193 *facepalm* dammit, I though I got all the spelling errors
3581133 I know I switch point of views. I planned on doing so with 1stperson dave and 3rd person limited with a pony. I do this hoping that the reader gets a better understanding of the conflicting ideas.
3583720 I don't get it. Dave is a original character in this story. What show are you talking about?
3583807 I was trying to make it seem obvious that I was trolling you xP.
In all seriousness though, I find the perspectives of the narrator weird, but overall, tis a good story.
#THAMBSUP
If anypony is wondering about all the errors in chapter 2, it was because it was originally I 1st person. I'm going through it for the 3rd time so I hope I get them all this time...
3583825 oh... It's kinda hard to see sarcasm in text
Keep up the good work!
I really like where you're taking this; the protagonist (and, consequently, the plot,) is really quite different from what I'm used to in HiE fics. Keep it up!
The grammar is also good, but I'm still noticing several misspellings and typos here and there; if you ever want somebody else to do some proofreading, I'll volunteer. (I imagine it's probably easier for somebody besides the author to proofread because they're not yet used to the story and might catch more things on the first run-through.)
I'd get a editor/proofreader. As foobwhisper mentioned, it's much easier for someone who's not the author to catch mistakes. And he volunteered so I would take that offer.
Is rather nice.
Read it anytime.
Ehh, why is the human so comfortable with ze ponies?
Is zerr going to be any goshdarn Equestria girls shit in this if so i will explode.
Anytime.
Oh such a beautiful chapter.
Anyday.
You don't treat a soldier fresh from battle this way...
That's a for sure way for him to label you an enemy.
He'll hunt you down son.
And there ain't nowhere you can hide.
Love this story :P
Just please don't make Dave into a killing machine, that would overdo it for me.
in the beginning Fluttery calls RD, and Rarity, "MEANYS." And uh, its actually spelled meanies. Jesus its like 90% of the people who write fanfiction didnt have english as their first language.
finally a human that doesn't act like a little bitch when the pony do something to him
Very interesting story.
But i am a little bit confused by Fluttershy's behaviour after Dave was "taken into custody". First she was yelling at Twilight what big meany's Dash and Rar were and later she eating a Sandwich and reading a book instead of being franticly concerned over what has happend to her firend, the guard and Dave. Out of sight out of mind?
Looking forward for the next chapter.
First off;
One: MAJOR FAIL RIGHT THERE, FOLKS.
Two: This is now second on my list of worst typing fails.
*Rainbow Dash
Change 'strait' to 'straight'.
Should be:
*Twilight
Should be:
Should be:
*but
*diagonally
Should be:
Should be:
Should be:
Dave punched only one of the pony's eyes, not both, as I read.
*,and I
There's EVERYTHING in this chapter that needs fixing that I caught.
3594159 you wanna be an editor? you got it.
just pm how that's supposed to works (seriously, I haven't the slightest idea)
btw, considering how things looked before I review it myself, I actually did better than I thought I would
3595047 I honestly don't know how the pm thing works, so... hooray for editing in comments?
3594159 what was the first?
3605440
?
Wat?
I gave it thought. For now, I've decided against having editors.
I can sorta see his confliction.... but It's not just an animal. It has sapience. But hey, he again just came out of a bloody war. Some of his conscience HAD to have been evaporated by the violence and killing he had to do to survive. It's just the way it is. So killing a sapient that looks like an animal would be far easier to his already wounded conscience in my opinion.
....I sure hope he doesn't though... poor guy.
You do great self-editing! Only a few very minor mistakes which don't affect the story one bit. All in all it was a great chapter. Looking forward to the next one.
Liking what i'm seeing.
"your", not "you're".
This story is REALLY good. I hope you release faster!
Dude.
I'm not too pleased about that.
Really? Threatening foals? Not caring if someone gets hurt badly for your own freedom?
I'm pretty sure Dave is shaping up to be an antagonist rather than a protagonist.
3639279 just you wait.... Just you all wait..
3642399Well, I'm waiting....anxiously at that.
Uh oh, I think the Chimera poisoned him... AND FLUTTERSHY'S WING OHMAIGOODNESS!!!
I'm loving the story, even though I'm not particularly interested in gore, you caught my attention. The long chapter was beautiful as well, I really hate when it takes me five minutes to finish a chapter but this took about 20.
I liked these long chapters and you wrote zecora. STRAIGHT TO THE POINT
Crap meant you wrote zecora well