Cuteness Overload contest entry for the August contest. 4th Place winner. The Cutie Mark Crusaders need supervision for a Cutie Mark Crusader super sleepover. Luckily they have Discord and Pinkie Pie there to help them in more ways than one.
Pre-Readers:
Samuel Jeffries
Editor:
Phaoray
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Foreword, not forward... and this is actually a preface, not a foreword.
Forward: In the fore (front) direction. Same construction as "backward" and "toward" though "toward" is harder to explain.
Foreword: An introduction written by someone not the author to shape how the reader will interpret what they're about to read by talking about the foreword-writer's experience with the book or its author. (A "may I have a word with you?" at the fore (front) of the book.)
Preface: An introduction written by the author that isn't part of the narrative itself but is meant to shape how the reader will react to what they're about to read. (From the Latin for "spoken before")
I definitely enjoyed this fic. I'd have liked it more if you'd shown everyone's reactions to their new alicorn status, but it was fun nonetheless.
Thank you for catching that, and I didn't about Prefaces till now. Again thanks for that .
3620513
I might do a later fic that does that once I finish up with the GW series of stories, and thanks for the compliment .
3620863 3620866
No problem. It's the least I can do to thank you for entertaining me for free.
Okay, I can respect the idea, but on both a technical and a plot level, you kind of bombed this. With technical, you need at least two more passes. There are errors galore, weird sentence structure, and awful punctuation. As for the rest, Applebloom only has an accent when you deign to include it, the plot is severely disjointed, and you exposition dump constantly. It feels like you tried your best but fell quite short.
3638352
Sorry about that. I thought my editor fixed all of those before production. And he must've changed dialect here and there. I'll go over and fix AB's dialect real quick. And sorry for the multiple exposition dumps.
Thank you for the comment though.
3641207
There's a good story in there, but it'll take a few sheets of sandpaper to get it.
i like to think the shout "cutie mark crusader <insert whatever>" is scootaloo equivalent of the pinkie promise, ensuring whatever silly adventure will follow will be interesting.
3748899
Yep it's a good substitute to Sweetie Belle making a character sheet for Scootaloo. Since once she's given a character, or told what her role in a game is (Cutie Mark Crusader [class] <Insert Game>! Yay!). She uses Random Effect Generation which mimics Paper and Dice dice rolls to see what'll happen throughout it. Which is also why no matter how improbable alot of their crusades end in them getting covered in tree sap. Or how other players (Apple Bloom for instance) could come across Heart's Desire and end up with the most random mix of Cutie Marks after she loots it.