• Member Since 9th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Jun 15th, 2014

TheLoveless


i'm a brony who just wants to have fun, and make stuff people can enjoy

T
Source

chrysalis has a child, and like every other pony would like, she gives her to the nurses. Too bad its in the changeling nation.

changeling nation problem? family matters? cute babies!!!!

critasisum wanted, re-writes later

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 15 )

Decent attempt, but two important things.

1. Learn the proper usage of your/you're, there/they're/their, things like that.

2. Get an editor.

You have a decent story in motion but the execution is terrible, could be so much better.

I wish you the best, will check back and help if I can.

I like the concept. You have some grammatical errors. I can help edit if you need any basic work done. I like it though. It is a pretty good story.

I think you, grammar and spelling need to sit down with capitalization and have a cup of tea.

3547497 well thats sorta helpful.:derpytongue2: i do have dyslexia, but i don't care. i'll get better to try and please you.:ajsmug:

3547615 i'm not one to get editors, just never felt right to have some one do what can try my best at.:twilightsmile: i'f you'd like you could assist me.:twilightsheepish:

3547646 judging how well you typed the words to be people in our little tea party, i'll skip you the comlaining and have the tea.:eeyup: words and ways to type words don't talk to me sorry:moustache: i'll take what you have and then talk with them

3547945 Usually people flip out when I get all sarcastic. You didn't.

Hmm. I don't like your story, but you do have my respect.

3547970 Flip out? That's strange.:moustache: anyways, it's fine, i can't please everyone. and i don't need you're respect:derpytongue2:, give it to some one who's more important.:eeyup: i was being serious about the respect, its not to important to me.

i respect you for being truthful:eeyup:

It made me feel for the Changelings. That is where the like came from.

Grammar has already been mentioned so I won't bring it up:derpytongue2:

3548403:derpytongue2: my grammar dose suck:twilightsmile:

3548519 Hi.

I'm just going to leave this here.

3548658 yay a present!!!!:eeyup: tobad i don't care.

3548681 Thought you'd get a little laugh out of a really messed up police alarm.

3548686 sorry. i'm in a not to good a mood.

i figured yu were a troll, or something, and just didn't care. i'm out of it, sorry.

3548718 Heh. I made this as the vanguard account to alert authors to the coming of people like twow, who come in and offer advice and quick edits. I just mark it in some fashion so they know.


And, it's kinda fun to spam "WOO WOO WOO" on fics that need work. I have a cousin account on the site, the Mary Sue Alarm.

3548729 their are worst than towo. i don't mind towo. just please leave the fic, unless yu have something of interest to me.

From comments i can say only one thing. Will read after editor inspection ;p

Login or register to comment