- Member Since 9th Oct, 2013
- offline last seen Jun 15th, 2014
TheLoveless
i'm a brony who just wants to have fun, and make stuff people can enjoy
TheLoveless
Joined 9th Oct, 2013 ·
Offline
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Decent attempt, but two important things.
1. Learn the proper usage of your/you're, there/they're/their, things like that.
2. Get an editor.
You have a decent story in motion but the execution is terrible, could be so much better.
I wish you the best, will check back and help if I can.
I like the concept. You have some grammatical errors. I can help edit if you need any basic work done. I like it though. It is a pretty good story.
I think you, grammar and spelling need to sit down with capitalization and have a cup of tea.
3547497 well thats sorta helpful.
i do have dyslexia, but i don't care. i'll get better to try and please you.
3547615 i'm not one to get editors, just never felt right to have some one do what can try my best at.
i'f you'd like you could assist me.
3547646 judging how well you typed the words to be people in our little tea party, i'll skip you the comlaining and have the tea.
words and ways to type words don't talk to me sorry
i'll take what you have and then talk with them
3547945 Usually people flip out when I get all sarcastic. You didn't.
Hmm. I don't like your story, but you do have my respect.
3547970 Flip out? That's strange.
anyways, it's fine, i can't please everyone. and i don't need you're respect
, give it to some one who's more important.
i was being serious about the respect, its not to important to me.
i respect you for being truthful
It made me feel for the Changelings. That is where the like came from.
Grammar has already been mentioned so I won't bring it up
3548403
my grammar dose suck
3548519 Hi.
I'm just going to leave this here.
3548658 yay a present!!!!
tobad i don't care.
3548681 Thought you'd get a little laugh out of a really messed up police alarm.
3548686 sorry. i'm in a not to good a mood.
i figured yu were a troll, or something, and just didn't care. i'm out of it, sorry.
3548718 Heh. I made this as the vanguard account to alert authors to the coming of people like twow, who come in and offer advice and quick edits. I just mark it in some fashion so they know.
And, it's kinda fun to spam "WOO WOO WOO" on fics that need work. I have a cousin account on the site, the Mary Sue Alarm.
3548729 their are worst than towo. i don't mind towo. just please leave the fic, unless yu have something of interest to me.
From comments i can say only one thing. Will read after editor inspection ;p