• Member Since 11th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen January 20th

Timefly


E

Under the quiet of night, there's nowhere for Luna to hide from the things which haunt her.

Cover art: Luna by Equestria-Prevails.

Special thanks to Cornflak, someone who looks beyond the words.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )

Very well done, as usual!

That welcoming ceremony scene and the bit where Luna finally breaks down really hit me hard. It was a relief to finally understand all that was troubling her. The ending was a nice touch as well. It didn't leave the reader hanging, but it still left future events open to interpretation.

I was very impressed. :eeyup:

That was really good! I loved the language in the beginning; it really set the scene. I hope this gets into the most popular stories list.

Very, very nice story...Favourited.

Though you spelled "luscious" wrong. :derpytongue2:

Very impressive prose here. Vivid, expressive and emotive. I would also congratulate you on your use of scene jumps. These were short, yet smooth and efficient, ensuring that the maximum amount of information and impact was delivered before moving on.

The story was short, but enjoyable. Keep up the great work!

Very impressive prose here. Vivid, expressive and emotive. I would also congratulate you on your use of scene jumps. These were short, yet smooth and efficient, ensuring that the maximum amount of information and impact was delivered before moving on.

The story was short, and while not particularly lingering, enjoyable. Keep up the great work!

A more serious and somehow more probable outcome of the sister's reunion, than just "let's forget everything and love each other" depicted in the show.
Congratulations, truly a great read.

i randomly stumbled upon this story

It's really great. your writing is clean and clear- descriptive without being too wordy. I envy you, truly.

you should keep writing!

Really a great story, that doesn't go the understandably easier way of the child's show, yet it doesn't go the just as easy way of just flip-flopping the perspective and making Luna an innocent victim that never did anything wrong (most popular among fanfic writers). Instead it deals seriously with guilt and regret and atonement, with that horrible feeling of "being trash", of knowing you have done something wrong and feeling you can never repair your mistake, of getting angry when those you feel you have wronged trying to apologize to you. It touches me deeply and is a mature piece of writing on a complex subject that rarely gets this fine treatment.

Thanks!

887755
I'm glad that you got something from it. What more can I ask for? :pinkiehappy:
Thanks for the feedback.

began watching the pegasii

One 'i' would be sufficient.

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