• Member Since 28th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 10th, 2017

MDNGHTRDHTLN


[dead account] formerly known as IceboxFroggie, now known as Murmurpunk

Comments ( 17 )

I don't know why this is downvoted. I mean it was sad and had a dark theme throughout, but it had a happy ending.

Oh well, whattya gonna do?

3346040 Um...drown myself in self-pity and cry about everything?

Is that the wrong answer?:twilightblush:

It always kinda hurts to see a downvote on a story, but people are entitled to their own opinions, even if other people don't like them. I can see how sexual assault and attempted suicide might make one want to downvote.

3347240

Oh well. Just write what you want to write.

Ignore people who downvote without commenting and giving a reason. That's against the Ten Commandments of Fimfiction. They're sinners and heathens, and they'll burn in TARTARUS.

3347550 Thanks for the criticism. For your reason about the school children, they make fun of her not because she was raped, but because she's impure in their eyes. They view her as impure for having lost her virginity so young, and see the rape as an excuse. All but Lyra, of course. I might rewrite this in the future and make it smoother, so thanks for pointing those out for me.

P.S. What do you exactly mean by 'tasteless'?


P.P.S. I was originally going to write this about Fluttershy, but decided that people would want me burned at the stake for hurting her.

3348593 I guess that makes sense. This was literally the hardest thing to write. I don't like talking about rape or sexual crimes, let alone describing it through a child's eyes. And with the kids, maybe they weren't school kids. Remember, Bon Bon had a nightmare. Maybe this whole story and its events is just Bon Bon's subconscious' subconscious at work. I wrote a story a while back about a monster that feeds off of fear, and I'll be writing more about it soon. I also said (on my profile page) that all of my stories take place in the same universe. Perhaps this is that monster feeding off of Bon Bon's deepest fear, and this never actually happened? In this story, she lets a butterfly that looks like her mane out of a jar. Could this be an allegory for going insane in her nightmare?

I'll let you decide.

I thought it was good. Keep up the great work!

3782556 I'm glad you liked it.

3782584 I was molested when I was nine and had horrid rape dreams at 13, so I can sympathize here. I also wanted to die, but for different reasons. :fluttercry:

My God,That you being a survivor this was a breath of air

I gave it an Upvote because its a topic that is Brave and Needs To Be Discussed.

As a Note being I was fondled on by my Dads roommate who hed leave me alone with to chase after women, was raped at 16 by some guy who drugged me and kidnapped me and impregnated me with my first child and have many friends who were sexually assulted as children, both male and female, and have shared their stories with me.....theres some flaws in the events.....I made a check list......

One: There wouldnt be cops asking anything thered be trained child/foal psychiatrists asking her things while officers watched in another room. The Trained Professional would determine if the child/foal was lying or being truthful. Of course given all the irrefutable evidence there wouldnt be a need for that and theyd simply get Bon Bons testemony on tape to play for the courts as they DO NOT Drag Children To Court Cases. And They DO NOT Allow The Attacker To See The Child.

Two: They NEVER Publish the real names of a Child thats been sexually assulted unless that child was killed. Its against the law in some states to publish a minors name no matter what the story. Its for the Protection and Safety of The Child Victim Involved to avoid weirdos coming after the child and to protect the family.

Three: It is completely Unrealistic that the school ponies and the teacher in Bon Bons "Private School" would make fun of her or be ashamed of her being in class because she was "Assulted and Raped WHEN SHE WAS A CHILD" by a Stallion who "Broke Into Her Home And Forced Himself On Her And Was Jailed For The Crime BECAUSE HE RAPED HER WHEN SHE WAS A CHILD!" While the concept of a Rape Victim being blamed for the rape happens this is a MOLESTATION CASE Not A Legal Adult Being Raped Because They Were Drunk Or High. NO ONE EVER BLAMES A CHILD FOR BEING RAPED BY AN ADULT. That is disgusting and would NEVER fly over in Equestria.

Four: Not to mention if Bon Bon didnt know what being Raped meant herself, I doubt Any of the Colts and Fillies in the school know what Rape, Whore And Slut mean. Unless youre implying that shes now a Teenager in a new school which wouldnt make since either as that means Teens are reading news papers from, Ill guesstimate, 10 years ago? Not likely at all.

Five: And the only answer left there is that the Mares and Stallions who are parents to those colts and fillies told them those terms and told them that Bon Bon was those things which makes for a Fucked Up Dark Fic but its also a slap in the face of victims like Bon Bon as its implying that thats what people will see them as and can thus make the whole story Offensive and as one person said Tasteless.

Six: Ill assume that when Bon Bon tried to kill herself shes still a teen because if shes an adult she should by now have gone to counseling and gotten help for the trauma that was inflicted ON her. Theres no clear age range in the story to tell us how long shes been dealing with this issue.

Seven: Why she has the rope isnt important. All we need to know is she has it. After she gets the rope she should write the note and leave it next to the coffee then head up to kill herself.

Eight: If Lyra SAW the still warm coffee Why Would She Ask Is Bon Bon Still Asleep? Does the Bon Bon in youre world just sleep walk and make coffee or just leave it siting out? That confuses me so much....

Nine: If Lyra took time to search the lower floor and THEN went upstairs Bon Bon would technically be dead. Unless youre implying that Lyra came at the exact moment Bon Bon hung herself in which case shed hear Bon Bon struggling to live as her body fights against the rope trying to get air. Thats a reflex you cant control so all the kicking and flailing against the wall would definitely attract Lyras attention since Bon Bons in a small closet.

And Ten: If Bon Bon waking up is right after her attempt to strangle herself to death her voice would be horse and or raspy. When you hang yourself it crushes your voice box and if youre saved that is still damaged for a few days after. Theres always the chance it wasnt on her Voice box but that would mean Bon Bon is dead as the rope wpuld have been on her wind pipe and jugular and that would have killed her long befor Lyra came up.

So yeah....thats just some things I noticed that seemed off.....And for people that dont understand whats going on Bon Bon is experiencing a PTSD Induced Panic Attack that has resulted in a Suicide Attempt. When someone experiences a severe trauma they can have flash backs of the event that can be triggered by anything from a sound to a sent to something that looks like the thing that caused the trauma to dreams about the trauma. This is PTSD.

For individuals who do not get help with dealing with the Trauma anything that sets off their PTSD can then cause them to go onto a severe Panic Attack. While in this stage it is extremely hard for the person to think logically and they can thus act in a sporatic and short sighted manner. Which leads us to sudden Suicidal Thoughts and Actions. These events are the most dangerous as they are the ones that often end in a successful Suicide as the person often doesn't give any warnings past the initial PTSD/Panic Attack event. I know this for a fact because I killed myself at 23 and have had multiple attempts my entire life From 5 untill then. The trigger for my last Suicide attempt was my Grandmother dieing. She was my biggest support and when she died I simply wanted to be with her again so I opted to die.

Anyway this is an interesting story with a very deep message behind it that should be heard.....It just needs to be better organized with events....And having the school Ponies teasing Bon Bon for being Raped as a Filly is Disgusting, Highly Unrelatable and Tastless. Mostly that needs to be changed if you want this to be an Empowering Story of Survival and Perseverance. Just saying. But Im just an idiot who cant write anyway so what do I know. LOLZ!!

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