The Cassandra Chronicles

by CassandraMyOCisBestpony

Chapter 49: Equality (Part 2)

The Mane 6 were locked in a room, with speakers blaring messages of equality.

"If only I was as smart as Cassandra, I would've seen this coming" said Twilight.

"If only I was as fast as Cassandra, I would've escaped" said Rainbow Dash.

"If only I was as sexy as Cassandra, I could have seduced Starlight into letting us out of here," finished Rarity.

"Well, none of us is Cassandra, so I guess we're hopeless" said Fluttershy.

"You guys, mah cutie mark is preventin' me from sayin' country thangs and talkin' about apples."

"Then every cloud does have a silver lining," quipped Pinkie Pie.

From outside, they heard a beautiful but angry voice that could only belong to the marvelous Cassandra. "Stralight Glimmer! Let my friends go!"

"Very well" said Starlight, "but I want something in exchange; your cutie mark!"

"Don't do it, Cassandra!" cried Twilight.

"Yeah, your cutie mark is worth a lot more than six normal ponies!" said Pinkie

"I have made up my mind" said Cassandra, "I'll do it."

"Wonderful!" chirped Starlight, "Afterwards, we'll have everypony in town build you a house. It won't be a good house by any means - we're only allowed to be as good as the worst architect- but it'll stay standing for just as long as everypony else's. Naturally, it'll take an extraordinarily long time to build your house, so until it's done, you'll live in my house and sleep in my bed. It's the tradition for every new pony."

"Hold on, you didn't let me do the latter" said Party Favor.

Starlight ignored him. "Now then, to remove your cutie mark." She got out her staff and magically removed Cassandra's cutie mark. It glistened in the sun as it flew to the vault. When it settled into its spot, alone on the top row, its covering was magically decorated with a gold leaf trim in an intricate ivy pattern.

Cassandra's momentarily blank flank was replaced by a symbol. Upon seeing it, the town gasped in shock. Cassandra's flank was now adorned with a sideways letter V.

"Wh-what? How can this be?" exclaimed Starlight, "That's not an equals sign!"

Cassandra nodded. "Indeed, my little pony, it is not. This you see here is the 'greater than' symbol. It is a curse that I must bear, that no simple unicorn magic can lower me down to the level of the common pony. It is impossible for me to be as unskilled, inept, or incapable as anypony here."

"Th-then I... I demand you leave our town!" said Starlight, trembling in fear, "nonpony wants you here!"

Cassandra didn't even flinch. Starlight glanced around nervously a the beautiful pegasus strode towards her until her piercing kaleidoscope eyes were an inch away from hers. "What did you just say to me?" she asked in a voice not much louder than normal, but terrifying as it seethed anger.

"N-nothing! Just a stupid comment, I swear!" Her knees began to knock as she stood, only unyielding because she was paralyzed with fear.

"You're suggesting that I be isolated from the group because I don't conform to your standards? That I should be shamed and mocked?"

"No Cassandra, nothing like that! Please have mercy! I'm sorry!"

"Well I'm very sorry too, but I have a zero tolerance policy for bullying. So now, you have to pay." She picked up Starlight and flew high into the air, high above the clouds.

"Please! Put me down! I gave up my cutie mark so I can't cast a spell to save myself if I fall!"

"No can do" said Cassandra, "but if it's any consolation, all ponies fall at equal velocities." She released Starlight Glimmer.

"AAAAAAAAAH!" cried Starlight as she fell through the clouds, speeding towards the ground. "Somepony help! Catch me!" The ponies hurried towards her, but drained of their cutie marks, they could only run and fly at an impotently slow pace. They had no hope of reaching her.

Twenty feet from the ground, Starlight realized she was out of options, except one. She fired up her magic and conjured up a large crashmat. She landed on it two seconds later, kicking up a cloud of dust. When it cleared, Party Favor approached her and cupped her flank with his hoof. Her equals sign cutie mark smudged and wiped off, revealing the real one underneath.

"Look everypony! Party Favor discovered that her cutie mark was fake!"

"Er yeah, that's what I was doing." said Party Favor.

"Now give them back their cutie marks!" ordered Cassandra

"Wait! What if I give you some practice kissing?"

"Tempting offer, but I know a secret about you."

"No...."

"Yes. Starlight Glimmer, the reason you started this equality society is.... you're the worst kisser in Equestria."

"I-it's true! I'm ashamed!" she sobbed, "I was jealous, and I needed a way for ponies to never find out!"

"Now come quietly and don't make me hunt you down."

"Never!" She took off towards the mountains.

"After her!" said Double Diamond.

"No! Go get your cutie marks from the vault," said Cassandra, "now I have to save my friends." She busted down the door and five grateful ponies ran out.

"Cassandra!" said Rarity, "I knew you'd come through for us!" They had a group hug. All of them were safe and sound, except for Applejack, who died.

"We have to get our cutie marks back!" said Rainbow Dash.

"Oh, you mean these things?" said Cassandra, holding up 6 jars, "I found them in a secret room under Starlight's bed. I have level 99 detective skills."

"Oh Cassandra, you're wonderful!" said Fluttershy, "now we just need to catch that mean old Starlight Glimmer."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about her," said Cassandra, "you see, I'm not just the 7th Element of Harmony, I'm also a bounty hunter with a 120% capture rate. Not only did I deliver on every single one of my commissions, I caught ponies that escaped from jail before the prisons even realized they'd escaped. so don't you worry, Starlight's as easy to catch as a level 3 Ratatta."

"I used a Masterball to catch a level 3 Ratatta," said Rarity.

Comments

[Amethyst Blade]

o.O
I...have no idea what I'm looking at...purposeful mary-sue? Troll fic? If that is true then congratz. If not than What the Fuck!?

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

5958189
5958012
5957896 I am 1000% serious for ever and always.

[Thought Prism]

This is an incredibly poorly written story, starring one of the most absurd characters ever put to words. And I absolutely love it to death.

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

6100793 You take that back.

[Shine]

6100999 How is that an insult?

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

6151372 I guess silly can be good or bad depending on the context, but it's rarely a good thing to be compared to Applejack

[MoldyShishkabob]

"No can do" said Cassandra, "but if it's any consolation, all ponies fall at equal velocities." She released Starlight Glimmer.

This is the most awesome quote ever.

I'm framing it and putting it up on my wall.

[Elric of Melnipony]

Nice Beatles reference.

[Puppy]

Cassanda is just as bad as apple jack she is actually worse