The Cassandra Chronicles

by CassandraMyOCisBestpony

[G3 Special] The Painting Party

Author's Note:

Reference material:

Toula Roola was planning to host a party so she enlisted Pinkie Pie for party consultation and Cassandra for general knowledge consultation.

"So I have - ff - eight plates for us - ff - the eight of us - ff - and we'll each - ff - take one and..."

"Why are you making that noise?" interjected Pinkie Pie

"It's called - ff - speaking English"

"Not that, the blowing sound" said Cassandra, "and I don't mean the kind you did to get your art featured in Hoity Toity's gallery."

"Oh, that? - ff - My mane keeps getting in my eyes, so I have - to - ff - keep blowing it out of the way. It's - ff - endearing."

"Actually, it's really annoying," said Pinkie Pie, "and there's a million better solutions."

"Name - ff - two." said Toola Roola defiantly.

Cassandra held out a hair clip and a picture of Sweeney Todd. "Take your pick." Toola selected the hair clip, and fastened her stray strands in place. "Atta girl," complimented Cassandra.

"Cassandra, can I talk to you alone for a sec?" asked Pinkie Pie, pulling the immaculate pegasus aside. "A group of ponies that regularly get together and go on adventures as a team is called a 'party,' so it falls under my jurisdiction to be an expert on them. According to the various analyses I've run, we have one more pony than we need, and might consider dropping some dead weight." She coughed as surreptitiously motioned at Toola Roola.

"You're completely right about that," agreed Cassandra, "and Toola Roola might just be the worst pony in the history of Equestria, but between you and me, this is one of those problems that just works itself out. Call it a premonition, but I don't expect much of a legacy from her."

"Hey Pinkie, I'm out of frosting, is it ok if I use paint instead?" called Toola Roola from the kitchen.

"I'd better go see to that," said Pinkie Pie

---

"Thank you all so much for coming!" said Toola Roola. Sat around the table were the full cast of the Mane 8, including Sweetie Belle the spellcaster, Cheerilee the bibliophile, Scootaloo the gamesmare, Starsong the melodist, and Rainbow Dash who always dresses in style.

“I was told there would be cake,” said Cheerilee, “should I file that under fiction, or nonfiction?”

“Oh, there’ll be cake alright” said Toola Roola, “ but first, we’ll each paint a plate. Now you all had better stand back and watch the expert do it first.” She painted a bunch of colored blobs on her plate.

“Erm, good job” said Cassandra uneasily, “I bet this is just the beginning of a wonderful masterpiece.”

“Nope, this is it” said Toola Roola.

“Dots?” said Starsong,

“Get your head out of the clouds, you uneducated Fillystine, it’s a palette!” bristled Toola Roola.

“Girls, girls” said Cassandra, “let’s play nice. This is a party after all. Everypony paint whatever you want, and only say nice things to each other, ok?”

“I love those ribbons, that’s a really great design” said Scootaloo to Sweetie Belle.

“It is great” agreed Toola Roola, “almost better than mine” she thought to herself. She picked up Sweetie’s plate and let it slip from her grasp. “Oops” she said smugly. Reacting quickly, Sweetie Belle used her magic to catch the plate right before it hit the floor.

“Phew” said Sweetie, “that was a close call.”

“Indeed” agreed Cassandra, her eyes narrowing at Toola Roola.

“Now that everypony’s done painting, let the drying commence!” declared Toola Roola.

“As a diversion while we wait, I thought we could..” began Pinkie

“Why would we need a diversion? What could be more fun than sitting quietly and watching paint dry?”

Pinkie felt a chill in her spine, “I really don’t want to do that. But I’ll come by a little later with Cassandra, and we’ll help you get set up with the cake.

“I wish to be excused as well” said Rainbow Dash, “I hate to not-dine and dash, but I have to go get my hair done.” The others followed suit with excuses to for why they had to leave for the exact amount of time that it takes for paint to dry.

---

“We’re back, Toola” said Pinkie. Then she and Cassandra noticed the mess in the dining room. All the cards that were supposed to tell whose plate was whose, had fallen off the table.

“Oh hi girls- augh what the hell did you to do my dining room!??!!”

“It was like this when we came in” said Cassandra. Using her level 99 detective skills, she deduced that a gust of wind had blown the cards off the table on account of Toola Roola leaving the window open.

“Oh no, now we’ll never know which plate belongs to which pony” said Toola Roola

“Calm down” said Cassnadra, “we’ll figure this out. First, everypony’s plate matches their color scheme, except for mine where I painted the Mona Lisa, and yours, where you just slathered on a bunch of blobs.”

“Nope,” said Toola Roola, grabbing Sweetie Belle’s plate, “I’m the artist, so logically the prettiest one has to be mine.” She put her card on top of it

“We’ll change it back when she’s not looking” whispered Cassandra to Pinkie Pie.

The rest of the ponies came back, and they were overjoyed that they had the right plates. Toola Roola helped herself to a slice of cake, and wolfed it down off of the plate.

“Can you cut some for us too?” asked Scootaloo

“Cut it yourself, can't you see I’m busy?” said Toola Roola

“Does anypony else’s plate feel heavy?” asked Cheerilee.

“Hold the phone,” said Cassandra, is this lead paint?”

“What’s that?” asked Toola Roola, who was now licking her plate.

“Dash dash dot dot dot dash dot dash dash dash” said Rainbow Dash, “that’s Morse code for ‘this party sucks.’ My hopes of having fun today were dashed.” The others got up to leave

“Wait, you haven’t had your cake yet” said Toola, pointing at the slices of cake untouched on their plates.

“Why don’t you help yourself to it?” suggested Cassandra.

“Sweet, free cake!” said Toola Roola.

The end.

Comments

[Yet another time lord]

This is a joke isn't it? This definetely has to be a joke