Tyler is a mean, rude and feisty gangsta with serious attitude problems... He arrives in Equestria with no memory of how he got there, but he's got bigger problems now. Like how can he get by in this weird place, and how does he cope with the fact that Equestria is predominantly ruled by mares, as a gangsta it's hard to cope with a woman being on top.
What's worse is that he has no crew to roll with... A lone gangsta is a dead gangsta... Or is it?
One night his mouth may have caused him more trouble than he can handle...
Chapters (1)
You have my interest, this seems to be an honest, "what if theres a gangster in equestria" fic rather than a poorly written trollfic.
I'd like to see how this plays out.
looks good and the Dialogs are Wroten very well.
Overall I'm Excited to see more.
that was fucking bad ass. Love it!
is he a saint?
This strikes my curiosity. Anxious to see more.
he holds the gun like a black guy
I like it, keep going.
There are some minor grammar issues and things like that, that you need to correct. Also, I really don't like it when a story starts in the middle like this- unless you're planning to show how he got here in the first place.
One thing that really annoys me though- and this is just a sample sentence-
"...I'll fucking kill you"
There needs to be a comma there. That's one of the only technical problems I have with this.
I'll favorite it, but I'm holding my like. Until this gets fixed up a bit more. Still, all in all, it's not that bad.
3056008 That would be awesome.
I will favorite for now. I have a few questions though. Where is the backstory? How did he arrive in Equestria? What was he doing before he arrived in Equestria? Was he affilaited with any gangs back on Earth? Will the main 6 come up in the story at all?
I like the idea of a gangster going to Equestria and im excited to see what comes up ahead but, the long description is misleading if you think about it. It says:
"Like how does he survive in a land that thrives on love and freindship when his skills are somewhat less suited for that?"
But in the first chapter he was doing a job for Vinyl Scratch to take out a rival gang or something? That kind of contradicts the long description.
Idk, I find it a little misleading, but nevertheless I will fave and I will hold my like button as well.
It would have been nice to include a backstory or a prologue on how he got to Equestria and all. Am I the only one who thinks a backstory might have been necessary?
The missing grammar turned me off a bit...
If you got a good editor, I could see this story going places.
I will follow your progress with interest.
Would appreciate editor and proofreader... PM or reply to this...
MOAR
You have my attention. But remember to win a war you must cut off their supplies, they must be cut off from any allies, strike quickly then vanish, and do it all with style.
Perhaps your character could start a war by killing a member of their allies and frame them for it, then in the chaos no one would notice when your character blows their heads off.
You have my fave for showing a new direction of how mares would be viewed as the dominants instead of the males... makes sense if you think about it after all they have a matriarch society ( Women ruling over dudes ).
Well, it's well written but the subject matter is... well, "gangsta". What I mean is that it doesn't have any moral direction, which is interestingly dark, but it appears to just glorify the "gangsta" subculture without offering any interesting alternative insight. The mindless violence doesn't make a huge amount of sense, but then the character is lost, like his real counterparts on earth. I don't think that female supremacy really fits with the canon show, where stallions aren't treated like subordinates, there just happens to be a gender disproportion in the population. Maybe this should have an AU tag? Where is the backstory for Tyler? How did he get from randomly being in Equestria to walking down the street looking for a gang boss? Why is Vinyl a gang boss and why is her gang under attack? What sort of crimes do they do? I would like to see all the convolutions of the backstory to this drama, not just "gangsta-boy in Equestria"
George Zimmerman was out on a midnight stroll in ponyville when he bumped into Tyler. Hence why this story is dead.
you sir just got yourself a new fav tracking and like... oh and a moustache, b-cuz reasons
Sucks this is dead, would've loved to see more