Prologue - Respect
'I hate this fucking place… So much happiness… Fuck it makes me sick… Fuckin ponies…’ Tyler thought bitterly as he walked down the dark deserted streets. He flicked his black Unit hoodie over his purple Dexter hat, further obscuring his face from the dim lighting of the whacked street lights.
A commotion further up caused Tyler to slide his hand behind his back and gently pat the custom purple 9mm Glock with a fleur de lis decal that was tucked into his pant waist. He had never fired it, but its presence filled him with confidence.
He powered on through the dark toward the growing sounds of laughter and shouting, the further he went the louder the sounds became until he rounded the corner and was presented with blaring neon lights and a loud bassline rhythm.
It took a few seconds for his eyes to acclimate to the sudden lights, but when his vision finally returned he took one glance at the colorful creatures lined up in front of a brightly lit building, and snorted in disgust. He reached into the left pocket of his black cargo pants and produced a packet of cigarettes. After sliding one out of the crumpled packet he shoved them back inside his pocket and retrieved his decorative zippo lighter from his hoodie.
Now almost at the entrance, Tyler placed the cigarette between his lips and flicked the cover of the lighter and ran his finger across the little wheel as the lighter sprung to life. Holding the flame in front of the cigarette he inhaled slowly, and felt the first wisps of smoke enter his mouth making its way into his lungs. He quickly flicked his wrist and doused the flame with a clink of metal.
Tyler returned his lighter to his hoodie and proceeded up the white steps toward the front entrance of her club.‘This place is so fucked up, men bending to bitches… They disrespect me like its fucking natural?’ He thought in anger as a burly orange mass stood in front of him, blocking his entrance.
“She’s waiting for you inside. Pick a booth and wait someone will take you to her, and know your place in there asshole.” The bouncer said giving Tyler a shove and sending him scrambling backwards, knocking the cigarette out of his mouth.
“Watch it whore, your bitch handler might not like me if I send you to her zipped up would she? Now run along and service your eager clients like a good little bitch” Tyler said slapping the stallion lightly on the cheek before shoving past him and heading into the pulsing blue lights of club element.
***
The music pounding in his ears caused Tyler to groan in agony, dubstep and dance always made his head hurt, yet at times Tyler rather enjoyed the sound of bass. His eyes scanned the smoke filled club for a few moments as he searched for the nearest bar. Satisfied that none were near enough for him, he relaxed in a nearby unoccupied booth. Putting his legs up on the table he lit himself another cigarette and threw the packet on the table, he then proceeded to produce a butterfly knife from inside his hoodie.
As he flicked the knife around his hand in a well versed series of motions, he prepared to wait for the pony to come take him to her. He didn’t have to wait long as a grey pony came within five minutes of sitting down.
“Tyler? She’ll see you now.” The grey mare said firmly.
“Finally, don’t you know it’s rude to keep guests waiting? Now just hurry the fuck up bitch” Tyler said letting this filly know she was beneath him. The grey pony didn’t take kindly to being spoken to like garbage, and she narrowed her eyes dangerously.
“You should learn some manners when you address a member of the superior sex... Just follow me trash” She spat venomously and swiveled to walk off behind a velvet curtain into a VIP booth.
“Fuckin ponies…” Tyler grumbled angrily putting out his cigarette, before following after the grey mare and pulling back the curtain.
***
Tyler was not quite prepared for the scene that presented itself, a dark red wall with a neon lined garden bed made up the bulk of the room. There was a plush couch at the far end of the room in which a single white pony mare sat with her forehooves spread out atop the couch and her hindlegs crossed.
The mare in question had a two toned blue stripped mane and a pair of purple shades, she wore a wide grin as the stallions in her lap shifted further into her body. In total she had five stallions all draped across her body in various poses. She chuckled and pushed the stallions off her so she could sit up and face Tyler.
“Ah you’re here at last. I assume you know why I called you here?” She asked degradingly.
“You tell me… You the Queen bitch ain’t cha?” Tyler said casually, earning him a small growl of anger from all in the room.
“You’re pretty brave to come here and insult me in my own house… I respect that, but you’ll learn some real respect before we’re through…” She said lowering her glasses little to reveal her magenta eyes.
“You think? Well shucks I guess I’ll roll over now and be a good little whore.” He responded with bitter sarcasm, which was followed by another round of snarling from the room.
“Now now, I didn’t call you here to start a fight, well yet anyway, I just need to ask you a question then you can go, is that alright?” She asked with a look of mock sincerity on her face.
“Ask away, because once we’re done I will be leaving, peacefully or with blood on my shoe… Your choice Scratch” Tyler said in a threatening tone, griping his knife tightly and flicking it around his hand for emphasis. Everypony in the room tensed and visibly prepared to leap to the unicorn’s defense, but she held up a hoof and they relaxed.
“You surprise me Tyler, I generously offer you my hospitality and you spit in my face. So shut the hay up and listen before I let my friends here have a little fun with you…” She said motioning to the snarling mares sitting in two armchairs on either side of Vinyl.
“Ooh I’m shaking in fear… Try it, I’ll waste ‘em before they even make to their feet or hooves or whatever. Now just ask your damn question, I’ve got better things to do.” Tyler said shrugging off her threat nonchalantly before grabbing a nearby chair and sitting backwards on it at a table with two ponies staring viciously at him.
“You know what? I like you kid, you remind me of me when I was your age. Tell you what, you do me a little favor and I’ll forget you said that, I might even reward you… What do ya say? You in?” Vinyl asked with a wicked gleam.
“That depends, how much we talking?” Tyler said eagerly rubbing his hands together.
“Oh don’t worry you’ll be rewarded generously, more money than you can imagine and any mare you want…” Vinyl began, but a startled gasp from all the mares in the room interrupted her.
“Vinyl! You can’t be serious? Whoring us out to that thing like some filthy...” One cried in outrage.
“YOU’LL DO WHAT I TELL YOU MELODY” Vinyl bellowed causing the filly to shrink in fear.
“Hey, sorry to interrupt your bitch punishing session, but are you gonna tell me what the fuck you want me to do?” Tyler asked flicking his knife around again.
Vinyl smiled and nodded her head toward one of the waiter ponies who quickly placed a glass in front of her which she levitated to her mouth and swallowed in one go, before motioning to Tyler who nodded back and grabbed glass as the waiter offered it, also downing it in one go.
“Now to business, I have many enemies Tyler, ponies who want nothing more than to crush my little family, but my family is quite large we have groups in every city not just Ponyville. I want you to go to Canterlot, our position there is under threat from a very nasty gang of ponies who call themselves Solarz…” Vinyl began, but was again cutoff mid-sentence by Tyler.
“And you want me to save your crumbling empire right?” He said with a snort.
“Very perceptive of you, so you in?” She asked leaning forward further to stare him straight in the eye.
Tyler considered his options for a moment. On one hand he could go there and take over her empire, but that would result in a huge street war that he would lose due to the lack of any sort of crew, on the other hand he could help her and probably make a nice sum for himself. As for the female offering Tyler was a little confused, mares were both hot and a complete turn off at the same time so he would have to be really desperate to actually sleep with one, even though he was the only human in this entire God forsaken world.
“You got a deal.” He said after two minutes of awkward silence.
“Excellent. Now please stay here the night, consider it a peace offering.” Vinyl said replacing her shades and relaxing back into the couch, covering herself in stallions once again.
Tyler rose slowly from his chair and took out a cigarette, lit it, and took one puff. He remained silent for a few moments, whilst flicking his knife around again.
“Oh and Scratch…” He said calmly.
“What is it?” She asked cocking her head slightly.
“If I find out you’ve been fucking with me…” He continued as he stopped twirling his blade and suddenly brought it down, right into a pony’s hoof.
The pony in question screamed as the blade pierced their hoof and nailed it to the table. The pony whimpered feebly as Tyler stared into Vinyl’s shaded eyes.
“… I’ll fucking kill you” He said, making the pony scream in agony again as he twisted the blade and ripped it out.
“Oh you’re making me wet talking like that” Vinyl replied putting on her best poker face, but he could tell that he had struck a nerve.
“Tell your bitches not to bother me… I’m going to sleep” He said as he brushed the curtain aside and letting it fall silently behind him.
He waited for the sound of shuffling hooves and the weight of a body pressing down on him, but nopony came. He snorted again, but this time a genuine smile crept onto his face, and he began to slowly walk into the pounding music, with time slowing to a crawl as the crowd swallowed him.
“Fuckin ponies…” He said once more.
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You have my interest, this seems to be an honest, "what if theres a gangster in equestria" fic rather than a poorly written trollfic.
I'd like to see how this plays out.
looks good and the Dialogs are Wroten very well.
Overall I'm Excited to see more.
that was fucking bad ass. Love it!
is he a saint?
This strikes my curiosity. Anxious to see more.
he holds the gun like a black guy
I like it, keep going.
There are some minor grammar issues and things like that, that you need to correct. Also, I really don't like it when a story starts in the middle like this- unless you're planning to show how he got here in the first place.
One thing that really annoys me though- and this is just a sample sentence-
"...I'll fucking kill you"
There needs to be a comma there. That's one of the only technical problems I have with this.
I'll favorite it, but I'm holding my like. Until this gets fixed up a bit more. Still, all in all, it's not that bad.
3056008 That would be awesome.
I will favorite for now. I have a few questions though. Where is the backstory? How did he arrive in Equestria? What was he doing before he arrived in Equestria? Was he affilaited with any gangs back on Earth? Will the main 6 come up in the story at all?
I like the idea of a gangster going to Equestria and im excited to see what comes up ahead but, the long description is misleading if you think about it. It says:
"Like how does he survive in a land that thrives on love and freindship when his skills are somewhat less suited for that?"
But in the first chapter he was doing a job for Vinyl Scratch to take out a rival gang or something? That kind of contradicts the long description.
Idk, I find it a little misleading, but nevertheless I will fave and I will hold my like button as well.
It would have been nice to include a backstory or a prologue on how he got to Equestria and all. Am I the only one who thinks a backstory might have been necessary?
The missing grammar turned me off a bit...
If you got a good editor, I could see this story going places.
I will follow your progress with interest.
Would appreciate editor and proofreader... PM or reply to this...
MOAR
You have my attention. But remember to win a war you must cut off their supplies, they must be cut off from any allies, strike quickly then vanish, and do it all with style.
Perhaps your character could start a war by killing a member of their allies and frame them for it, then in the chaos no one would notice when your character blows their heads off.
You have my fave for showing a new direction of how mares would be viewed as the dominants instead of the males... makes sense if you think about it after all they have a matriarch society ( Women ruling over dudes ).
Well, it's well written but the subject matter is... well, "gangsta". What I mean is that it doesn't have any moral direction, which is interestingly dark, but it appears to just glorify the "gangsta" subculture without offering any interesting alternative insight. The mindless violence doesn't make a huge amount of sense, but then the character is lost, like his real counterparts on earth. I don't think that female supremacy really fits with the canon show, where stallions aren't treated like subordinates, there just happens to be a gender disproportion in the population. Maybe this should have an AU tag? Where is the backstory for Tyler? How did he get from randomly being in Equestria to walking down the street looking for a gang boss? Why is Vinyl a gang boss and why is her gang under attack? What sort of crimes do they do? I would like to see all the convolutions of the backstory to this drama, not just "gangsta-boy in Equestria"
George Zimmerman was out on a midnight stroll in ponyville when he bumped into Tyler. Hence why this story is dead.
you sir just got yourself a new fav tracking and like... oh and a moustache, b-cuz reasons
Sucks this is dead, would've loved to see more