The Only Chapter
Under Scrutiny
By: SilentBelle
The sun beat into the eastern side of Ponyville with a heavy and humid pressure. Not for the first time, Rainbow Dash regretted getting up before sunset and clearing out all the clouds. Not only had she worked up a sweat with her unrivaled display of cloud busting, but she also left herself without a single spot of shade to seek refuge within once the sun had finally risen. You see, sometimes it pays to be lazy, she thought with a sad shake of her head. I should have just stayed in bed.
She trained her eyes on the building before her. It had a well-worn wooden door, bleached from years of morning sunrises. Above it, hung an equally old, equally wooden sign. It's long-since faded red letters blazed golden in the sunlight. 'Alto's Acoustics' the sign read. Just below the front sign, hanging in the window, was a distinctly stylized upholstery; they were drapes with writing on them.
Rainbow Dash squinted, and tried to make out the tilted, loopy characters. “'Sorry, for the Inconvenience, We are Closed.' Wow, that's hard to read. And what type of shop owner doesn't give their hours of operation? You better open soon,” she muttered under her breath.
As she stood there, she felt the presence of summer breathing unrelentingly upon her back, seeking the flesh beneath her fur. Why did I ever think this was a good idea? she wondered, sneaking a peak over her shoulder.
In the distance, she could see other ponies leaving their homes and heading out to tend fields or opening up a bazaar at the market square. She looked back at the music store, which stood innocuously taunting her. I swear if that store doesn't open soon I'm going to bail. This was supposed to be a quick thing. Dash in, and dash out. Simple. If somepony finds out why I'm here...
A soft buzzing sound caught in her ears and reached a crescendo, sounding like some noisy industrial machine. She turned her head to see Scootaloo, banking hard around the building's corner. Rainbow Dash looked about to find something, anything she could hide behind. A bush, a tree, a cloud. Her eyes flicked up at the taunting, endless blue above her, then back to the street. Maybe she won't see me, she thought hopefully.
It took all of half a second for the orange filly to turn her head and lock her eyes on her role model. A smile of brilliant enamel lit the filly's face, while her head turned instinctively as she passed. “Oh my gosh! Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo waved a hoof, beckoning her. “I've been looking all over for- Ahhh!” she screeched shrilly as her scooter promptly swerved right into the building's wall. She was tossed free from her scooter, and hit the ground, head-first with a sharp crack.
Rainbow Dash winced at the sound, both her screeching and the sharp landing. She bounded over as the dust settled. “Hey Squirt, you okay?”
“Ow,” the filly groaned from the hot dirt road. “I think I broke something...” she muttered as she pulled herself up off the ground. She looked to the side to inspect herself, with that slight movement, her helmet fell from her head, evenly in half, to either side of her. “Oh, good. It was just my helmet.”
“Wow, you're a really tough kid.” Rainbow said with a smirk.
“Really? You mean it?” Scootaloo, practically flew with excitement as she got to her hooves.
“Of course! Only the toughest around could be my own honorary little sister.”
Scootaloo positively beamed at the remark, and then she blinked as a memory resurfaced with the dust settling around her. “Oh yeah, that's right! I almost forgot! Rainbow Dash, you said that you'd teach me a thing or two about flying today! I'm so glad I managed to find you. So when are we gonna start? Right now?”
Rainbow Dash darted her eyes about in uncertainty and noticed the streets slowly filling with ponies. Oh hay, I forgot about that promise. The filly before her grinned with closed eyes. Rainbow Dash could practically see a small halo forming around her.
Rainbow Dash squinted. “Hey, squirt, do you think you could move over a bit, the sun's kind of blinding me.”
“Yes ma'am!” she said with a sloppy salute. Scootaloo sprung happily over to Rainbow Dash's side, awaiting further instruction.
“Look squirt, I'm kind of busy right now.”
“Really?” the orange filly blinked in surprise. “But you didn't look busy when I turned the corner. You were just leaning against the wall.”
“Well, I... uh, just cleared the sky!” Rainbow Dash explained pointing a hoof to the sky. “I think I might have broken a new record. I was just taking a short breather is all.”
“Wow! That's amazing! I don't think I've ever seen it this clear in the morning before!”
“Yeah, and it'll stay clear all day.” And it'll only get hotter. Rainbow Dash suppressed a groan. “Don't you have school or something to go to?”
“Oh, don't be silly Rainbow Dash. It's summer! And that means two months of no school, full of attempts to get my flying cutie mark.”
Two months? Rainbow Dash looked to her purple-maned cohort and this time couldn't suppress a groan. “I think I need to plan a vacation.”
“Sweet a vacation. Oh, I know! We could visit neigh-eh-grafalls, or go camping again!”
“No, I meant—Ugh!” She couldn't take it anymore and took off into the heavy morning air. “Look, Squirt, it's been great chatting with you, but I gotta get back to my training. I'll see you later today.”
“Alright! See you later! And don't forget, flying lessons! It's a promise!” she heard Scootaloo shout as she crested over building's roof.
Once out of sight, the Rainbow Dash turned and peeked over the peaked rooftop, spying on the little filly. She was rewarded with the scene of Scootaloo still standing where she had been, picking up her scooter. The filly looked up at the rooftop, as if guided by some sixth sense that told her where Rainbow Dash was at any given moment. It was a theory that seemed entirely possible and far too hard for Rainbow Dash to disprove, given her prior experiences with Scootaloo.
“Huh? What is it Rainbow Dash?” the filly called out to her.
“Uh...” C'mon Dash. Think, think, think! “Don't ride that scooter back without a helmet! It's dangerous!” She put a up a false smile and darted away from the roof.
She took to the air, for a good ten minutes, waiting until she was sure that Scootaloo had vacated the street. Then as inconspicuously as a rainbow-mane mare could, she made her way back to her spot by the store. The drapes were still pulled shut, and her familiar, tired frown reformed.
With a sigh, she looked longingly at the numerous stands down the street in market square. A small line of ponies had started in front of what seemed to be a shop selling frozen goods. Ice cream, flavoured shaved-ice, and juice frozen on sticks.
She weighed her options for a moment. The line only had eight ponies in it. No! she mentally berated herself. I only have enough for the tickets, I can't risk not having enough when the store opens. Darn it. Where's Scootaloo? She'd have been willing to wait in line and buy me something if I asked her. She scowled at the line. It's like she's only here to annoy me, but leaves when she could be useful.
Brooding to herself, time crept on. Perhaps two hours had passed and the sun rose ever higher. The ground burned with all the heat of a desert, and Rainbow Dash soon found the wooden wall beside her to be an apt spot to soak up the heat with her inaction.
She had closed her eyes for nary a second when sudden noise broke the haze of her closed eyelids. She sprung awake to see numerous ponies had filed in past her, lining up outside Alto's Acoustics.
With a nervous and parched swallow, she moved to the end of the line. She looked at the other ponies in line, many of them toting fashionable sun-umbrellas, which were mounted on equally fashionable saddles. It almost looked to be Rarity's hoof-work. In fact almost every pony was wearing some form of clothing: Dresses, hats, saddles. For a moment, Rainbow felt decidedly naked.
“Oh? Rainbow Dash? What a pleasant surprise it is to see you out here,” a certain eloquent voice called out from behind her.
“Rarity?” The name tumbled out of her mouth as she spun to see the mare in question.
She was wearing a full ensemble of translucent cloth, which seemed to play on some hidden breeze, and a hat of the enormous variety, creating a perfectly shady patch larger than most umbrellas. Behind her, Fluttershy stood with a small crown of flowers around her head and gave Rainbow a soft smile.
“Oh, have you come to get tickets as well?” Fluttershy asked.
“Uh.” Rainbow's heart skipped a beat. “Tickets? What tickets are you talking about?”
“You don't know?” Rarity tweaked an eye in skepticism. “Surely, you must know what you are standing in line for.”
“A line?” Rainbow asked with a slight blush, looking at the trail of ponies behind her. “Oh, you mean them. Yeah, I was wondering what they were doing here.”
“Um, then why were standing out here, with saddlebags?” Fluttershy spoke up. “If you don't mind me asking, that is. I mean, you're up awfully earlier than usual.”
“It's just heat training,” Rainbow explained, the beads of sweat on her face acting as evidence.
“So you aren't in line then?” Rarity restated, levelly.
Rainbow shook her head. “Nope, I'm not.”
“Then you won't mind if we move up past you?”
“Uh, no. Of course not.”
“Well, I am sorry for the misunderstanding Rainbow Dash. I did find it quite peculiar that you would be in line for tickets for the Royal Canterlot Symphony Orchestra. You always listen to that...” She grimaced. “Rock and roll. I do hope your training goes well though, dear.”
The two ponies walked past Rainbow, taking her spot in line, Fluttershy smiling politely. “Yeah... I'll catch you later. I'm going to go do some tricks. Even on hot days, you have to keep in shape.” She leaped away and took to the air.
Darn it! She berated herself as she flew. I should have know that they'd be going too. She looked down at the market square and saw a few stands. I need a drink, she decided.
Alighting to the hot dirt, she looked around for a while, looking for the cheapest drink. A single bit for a sizable bottle of ice-cold water. It was all she could afford if she still wanted to get that ticket.
I'll just go back after Fluttershy and Rarity have gone. She nodded to herself. With her new plan in mind, and a well-quenched thirst, she made her way back to the rooftops to scout on Alto's Acoustics.
As she cleared the final rooftop, she looked down in surprise and gawked. The line was gone. Vanished, and only fifteen minutes had passed. The drapes in the window were pulled to the side, and a cursive 'We Are Open' sign could be seen through the window.
Without a second to lose, Rainbow dashed to the front door and pushed it. With a chime, the door swung open and she was met with the cool wind of a fan met her mane, and she felt the moisture on her fur, thick as well as a slightly pungent scent.
She peered around the store, her eyes passing over numerous stringed instruments all mounted on the walls. She spotted the storekeeper, who looked up from her perch by the counter. She was a blue unicorn, and held a violin and its accompanying bow in her magic. She turned and watched Rainbow approach, warily.
That's Alto, I guess? Rainbow managed to put on a nervous smile. Though, she couldn't help but notice the shop keeper sniffing slightly, and a look of discomfort forming on her muzzle. Oh, come on. It's a hot day, everypony's bound to be a bit sweaty.
Rainbow darted her head around. Double checking to make sure that no other pony was in the shop to hear her request. “Hey, I'd like one ticket to the Royal Canterlot Symphony Orchestra.”
It was the moment she had been waiting for all day. She had stashed away a hundred bits just to purchase the ticket. She reached with a wing to open one of her saddle bags, so that she could claim her prize. Even now, she could almost hear the violins striking their first note.
The shopkeeper played a single sad note on the violin, frowned and adjusted one of the tuning pegs. “Oh, well, you're a little late. I only had twenty-five to sell. I am all out. Sorry,” she said curtly, focusing on the violin. “Next time, I recommend coming earlier and waiting in line with everypony else.”
“What?!” she stared venom at the pony. “You can't be out! You just opened like five minutes ago!”
Alto looked back to Rainbow with an irritated frown. “I opened twelve minutes ago, thank you very much. And there was a line-up before I even opened. Once again, I am sorry. There's nothing I can do for you. Unless you want to buy an instrument?” she asked hopefully.
Rainbow dash had already stopped listening to the shopkeeper and made her way out of the old shop. Once out of the door, she hit the wall of prevalent heat and collapsed to the ground. With a groan, she let the hot dirt drain her stamina and she shut her eyes.
“What am I going to do now? All my plans, they're ruined!This is hopeless...”
“What's hopeless?”
Rainbow nearly jumped out of her skin. Looking up, she saw Scootaloo was standing above her.
“Squirt! What are you doing here?”
“Oh, it's later now,” the filly began excitedly, flapping her wings in a small buzz. “And you promised that you'd give me some flying lessons.”
“Wait. How did you even know I was here?” Rainbow wondered.
“Easy, I just asked around where you were. Everypony knows who you are. They said they saw you fly over here. Then I peeked in through that window and saw you inside the store,” she explained with a smile. Then her eyes widened in thought. “Say what were you doing in there anyway?”
Rainbow Dash looked to the sky, and considered just flying away into its deep blue depths. But no, she couldn't just break her promise with the filly just like that. She sighed, which only seemed to add to the humidity of the day.
“Hey Squirt, can you keep a secret?”
“Of course. Anything you say Rainbow Dash. You can count on me!”
“Well, the truth is I was going to get some tickets for the R.C.S.O., but they sold out of them before I could get mine.”
“R.C.S.O.? Oh, so that's why you were out here waiting for the store to open.”
“Yeah...” Rainbow admitted. “But then I realized I couldn't stand in line for a bit. By the time I got back, they were sold out.”
“Oh, so you really want a ticket to the R.C.S.O.?”
“Yeah, I just said that.”
“Hmm, maybe if you ask around you can get somepony to sell you one. Hay if Apple Bloom and Sweetie were here, we could try to be the Cutie Mark Crusaders: Ticket Scalpers!”
“No! No,” she interrupted Scootaloo's abundant enthusiasm. “Look, nopony can know that I wanted those tickets.”
“Oh, I see. Nopony can know...”
Rainbow Dash wondered at Scootaloo's words for a moment. But then another buzz of Scootaloo's wings sounded, interrupting her thoughts.
“So, about that flying training...”
“Alright,” Rainbow said in a defeated tone. “Follow me back home. We'll work on your gliding.”
“Why your home?” Scootaloo wondered as she merrily skipped along beside her mentor.
“Because, the neat thing about clouds is that they are cool. And since you can't fly up where it's really cool, we might as well go to the next best place.”
* * *
Rainbow Dash smiled a sad smile. Yeah, I may not have gotten that ticket, but the Squirt really is getting the hang of it. On the last gliding bit before the sun had set, the filly had managed to land right on target.
The training had consisted of essentially flying the small pegasus up to the cloud home and tossing her off into a lower, distant patch of clouds that she had gathered into a pile. At the center, she had coloured a single spot with few splashes of liquid rainbow to be her target.
She's doing pretty good, she assessed. Sure, she's nowhere near my level when I was her age, but hay, I'm Rainbow Dash, there was no filly or colt that was as great as me.
She watch the moon begin to rise as she lay atop her cloud house. And listened to the soft calls of crickets. Soft and humming, like a distant fan, or Rarity's sewing machine, or an industrial-strength vacuum cleaner.
Annoyed, she got up and peered over the edge of her cloud home. “Scootaloo?!” she shouted in bewilderment down at the filly approching on her scooter. Rainbow Dash took to the air and glided down to Scootaloo Will she never leave me alone? “Hey! I thought I told you not to ride that thing without a helmet.”
“But I don't have another helmet!” Scootaloo protested. “Ugh, never mind that. Look!” She reached into her backpack and pulled out a silver ticket with the letters 'R.C.S.O.' running across it. Numerous pictographs of instruments ran around the border. “Ta-da!”
“Is that—Scootaloo! Where did you get that?!”
“Oh, I just asked a few ponies if they knew anypony who had a ticket.”
Rainbow Dash frowned at her. “And how did you get this ticket? They cost a hundred bits. Where would you get money like that from?”
“I—uh—I didn't pay for it.”
She peered at Scootaloo. The filly's violet eyes shifted to the side. “So, then who's ticket is this?”
“Well, I went and visited Sweetie Belle right after practice. I happened to know that she was going to go. So I asked her if I could have the ticket.” Rainbow merely blinked at the statement and kept her scrutiny up. The filly gulped. “Don't worry, I didn't tell her that it was going to be for you. I told her that I really wanted the ticket, and that it was super important.”
“That's not the point Scootaloo!” Rainbow Dash shouted at the filly, and winced slightly at the scared expression on her face. “Look,” she said quietly, taking the ticket gently from the filly, tucking it under her wing, “I'm not mad at you, Squirt. But just follow me for a moment.”
Rainbow Dash walked at a brisk pace, and Scootaloo followed sullenly. They wound their way through the darkened streets of Ponyville until the rounded a street corner and were standing outside the Carousel Boutique.
A warm light spilled out from the front window, although a 'Closed' sign hung quite clearly, written in clear and legibly. Now that's how a sign is supposed to be. Plain and simple. She stepped up to door and knocked loudly.
She could hear a slight murmuring from the other side of the door. Something about 'the late hour', and something else about 'only the most uncouth of ponies would-'. “Who is it?” Rarity's singsong voice called through the door.
“It's me, Rainbow Dash.”
“Rainbow?” Rarity opened the door. “It is indeed a rarity that you'd even consider visiting my shop without first breaking through a window or two. And is that Scootaloo with you?”
At the mention of Scootaloo's name, Rainbow could feel the filly step behind her as if to hide. “Look Rarity, Scootaloo took something that belongs to your sister, and we just came by to give it back.” She reached back, to her wing, and pulled the silver ticket free.
“A Royal Canterlot Syphony Orchestra Ticket? How ever did Scootaloo get Sweetie's ticket?”
“I'm sorry!” Scootaloo said quickly.
“No,” Rainbow said, spreading her wings to shield the filly from sight. “It's my fault. You see, I told Scootaloo that I really wanted to see the orchestra, and I managed to miss getting the tickets by a few minutes earlier today. Scootaloo managed to convince Sweetie to part with them, because she knew I really wanted to go, but that was wrong. I'm not going to go at the expense of somepony else.” She could feel her face flushed by the end of her speech.
“You?” she asked with a frown. “Rainbow Dash, you wanted to see the Royal Canterlot Symphony Orchestra? You, who likes that loud rock and roll music, wants tickets to go to the R.C.S.O.?”
“Yes,” Rainbow asserted firmly.
Rarity gave her a light, amused smile, and snagged the ticket with her magic. “Well, that is quite the surprise.”
“Well, you like watching the Wonderbolts,” Rainbow countered.
“True enough, and thank you for returning this ticket.”
“You're welcome.” Rainbow nodded and turned to leave.
“Wait!” Rarity called, in an almost-teasing voice. “I'll give you my ticket, if you do two things for me.”
Rainbow Dash turned around in surprise. “But I thought you loved the orchestra!”
“Oh, I enjoy it well enough,” Rarity said with an amused shake of her head. “But the main reason I bought it was as an excuse to visit Canterlot again. If you want to go to the orchestra so passionately, I am more than willing to give my ticket to you.”
“Alright,” Rainbow said evenly, “you got a deal. What do I have to do?”
“Well,” she began, and motioned the two of them into the boutique. They followed her to the main room, filled with numerous dress-forms lathered in various designs. “First thing you'd have to do is look after Sweetie Belle. And for the second...” A mischievous smile spread across her face. “You're going to have to wear this.”
Rainbow stared dumbstruck at a many-hued dress that looked to be twice her size, and an accompanying hat that looked as though it could double up as a tent if they were camping. She sighed and looked to Scootaloo. The filly peered at the strange dress with a distinct look of fear in her eyes. “Alright,” Rainbow agreed, a slow smile spreading across her face. “But only if the Squirt gets to come too.”
“B-B-What?!” she sputtered, turning to Rainbow.
“Oh, what a wonderful idea, Rainbow!” Rarity positively beamed. “We'll just ask Fluttershy if she'd be willing to give up her ticket and then I can have both Scootaloo and Sweetie, each wearing an ensemble to match your own.”
Scootaloo's eyes dilated at the thought. “No!” she screamed, running out the door.
Both Rarity and Rainbow Dash chuckled. Perhaps it was a good day after all.
End of: Under Scrutiny
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I've just woken up and needed something to read while I was eating my breakfast and luckily I found this. You've literally made my day, great story and I found it to be very funny for some reason :). Thank you! :)
2857596 That's great to hear. I was worried that it wouldn't fit the comedy genre well enough
Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.
I like this characterization of Rainbow Dash, with her such a caring individual.
Ticket to Canterlot Symphony Orchestra. This is a nice facet to Rainbow Dash.
Although there's a part of me that's seriously tempted to know exactly what Canterlot Symphony Orchestra's performing...
Giggles, funny one shot.
Someday...some great and glorious day...there will be a concrete and well-defined definition of this thing called "cool" that will clearly, comprehensively, and definitively denote which ponies fall under its auspices and which do not so that Rainbow Dash no longer has to spend time agonizing as to whether or not something she enjoys will cause her to lose this vaunted status of the thing known as "cool."
Interesting... most interesting, though it would probably need to be at least a month before SoC.
I thought it was funny and you're characterizations were spot on.
2858190 Yeah, this could happen at the start of summer. Then halfway through the summer, Sweetie Belle is annoyed the Scoots is spending time RD, and AB is helping out on the farm. It could totally have happened.
2858967 Glad to hear it. Maybe I'm not so bad at the genre after all.
2857784 I'm not much of a music buff, especially when it comes to classical. I do listen to a lot of orchestral stuff when I'm writing though, and I know I'd go to get tickets if something like 'Distant Worlds' was being performed by either a traveling orchestra, or my local one (I doubt that would ever happen).
I have to admit, that part of the idea comes from when RD is whistling 'March of the Valkyries', and I was thinking: 'Hey, why can't she be a classical music fan?'
There are a few things in this story that I find out of place. I didn't know that it was supposed to be a comedy, but after seeing that you meant it as one, I just did not see it. The characters were pretty well done except that I can't imagine Sweetie Bell being able to have access to her ticket before the show because Rarity would suspect that she might misplace it or give it away. I don't mind Rainbow Dash having an interest in orchestra, but I do think that fact was underplayed. I think for a 4k word story, it would have been more convincing to write about RD going to a Daring Do book signing. The next problem is Scootaloo's flying. Scootaloo cannot fly; she is disabled. The last problem is both tiny and plot crushing at the same time: Fluttershy is RD's marefriend. FS would know RD's interests and probably would have bought RD's ticket if she didn't want to be seen doing so, but even if somehow RD managed to keep her interests a secret from FS, RD would still not try to get her to give up her ticket at the end because once one of her friends found out she was going, they would all know, and RD would not give up the opertunity to spend time with FS. It could have been that RD was counting on Scoot's reaction and made a joke, but even then, I think she would have targeted her laughing buddy, Pinkie Pie.
2859138 Oh, well, comedy isn't really my strong suit
And I could see why you wouldn't find it comical. I didn't want to play out the 'orchestra being uncool' joke though, Read it and Weep already did a fine job of that. You make a good point with the book signing though. That probably would have been a great premise to have had the story be based around. Too bad I didn't think of that a couple days ago.
As for Scootaloo being a cripple. No, that is a matter of opinion and I don't buy that as 'canonical'. I could certainly get behind that idea for certain fics, but that doesn't mean it's applied to all of fanfiction. Same goes for Flutter/Dash shipping; it's not canonical. Besides, even if that were the case, all three of them (Rarity, Fluttershy, and RD) would be going to Canterlot anyway. Just Flutters and Rarity wouldn't be going to the orchestra. I think the idea of Rainbow playing guardian to both Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle for a day comes across as a highly entertaining premise
Thanks for reading though. I really appreciate it.
2862225 Thanks
It certainly turned out a lot better than I feared it would.
2862225 2859346
Faust said this. Officially, Lauren opts to not divulge matters that could come up in the future of the show, so her wording is ambiguous until you consider the fact that her twitter post on the matter was made March 2013 and this video, containing one person's account of a conversation with Faust where she allegedly stated that Scootaloo is disabled, was posted August 2012... Either Scootaloo was intended to be disabled from the beginning or Lauren Faust chose to perpetuate a complete lie for her own amusement.
Concerning Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. I don't think america is yet ready for openly stated homosexual relationships in children's cartoons, however, any adult should be able to read between the lines and see what isn't explicitly stated. Consider the fact that RD and FS have known each other since foalhood, RD defended FS's honor during their foalhood and does so so passionately that it results in a sonic rainboom, which is supposed to be impossible, after this, FS lives on the ground to care for animals, which is her calling, and RD, who has no particular interest in non-pegasi matters, also lives somewhere in the vicinity of Ponyville rather than the traditional home for pegasi, Cloudsdale. The only conceivable reason that RD would live in the clouds just above Ponyvilly rather than closer to the Wonderbolts in Cloudsdale is if she had a close relationship with FS. If you want to delve into season two (and I usually don't because I want to follow Faust's vision), then the long named episode with the cider shows RD waking FS to go get cider together. The likeliness of someone entering into another's house to wake that person for anything would be considered rarely acceptable by any relationship, but more acceptable for those who are courting rather than even good friends. Lastly, some people do not like pointing out stereotypes in homosexuals if it is the only evidence for the case, but since there are quite a few points above, I feel that it acceptable to add to the above evidence that RD fits the Sport Dyke lesbian type, FS fits the Lipstick lesbian type, and Gilda, RD's former griffon friend from flight camp, fits the Butch lesbian type. Mentioning Gilda's stereotype alone in this matter would be begging the question, I am sure, but adding it to the picture as it has grown shows consistency for the interest profile of RD.
If this recap of their shared lives is not clear enough evidence that Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are marefriends, and there is still room for doubt for you, then at the very least they are too close for FS to not know and be able to help RD with the ticket situation and/or for RD, who is extremely close to FS, to suggest that FS give up her ticket.
I point this out because besides the problem listed here and in my original comment, you have done a decent job of convincing me that your main characters are the same main characters from the actual show. The problem with “Episode Writing” as I tend to think of it, is that the closer you get to accurately portraying the correct character the more painful it becomes for the reader when that character acts out of character.
2862460
I see what you mean. However, I think that the show implies that Scootaloo has room to become a strong flier. Until we get an actual episode that explores it, we won't know for sure how Scootaloo's state is. Heck, Lauren never intended Scoots and RD to form a sisterly bond, but that changed last season (most likely because Faust was gone and the writers saw it as a good progression for Rainbow's character) I can totally understand how people would run with a disabled Scootaloo for a fic idea, and it's a great premise.
For the other point, I only see RD and Fluttershy simply as really good friends. Heck, I've snuck into friends rooms while they were sleeping before. It's something that a good, really close friend would do, because they know how they will react to them being there. And looking back at Dragonshy, RD was being kind of a jerk to her through the episode, though since then they have grown closer as friends. But we simply do not know why Rainbow left Cloudsdale. She was allegedly kicked out of flight-school, if those bullies in Sonic Rainboom are to be believed. However, how she came to be the leader of the Weather Patrol in Ponyville hasn't been answered yet.
Sure, she could have moved to Ponyville because that's where Fluttershy lived and she wanted to be with her. And that could be a great premise for a romance fic. Alternatively, Ponyville could have been the only place she could find a job. Or, heck, Celestia could have planned it all.
What we do know is that they are now close characters that knew each other from way back. She didn't have RD's respect at the time of Dragonshy, and by Hurricane Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash shows that she cares deeply for Fluttershy when she tries to include her on the team.
It's never been shown romantically, nor will it in the show. It's a very conceivable headcanon though, and one that I don't mind partaking in from time to time.
In short, both of these would classify as headcanon in my opinion, so I don't think there's a problem with it on a canonical front. However, I can understand if it goes against the way you think the characters should have acted. I'll admit I didn't delve too deep into how I thought Fluttershy would really fit into the whole situation.
At the very least, I thank you for getting me to consider these details a little further. Delving into these sorts of questions and looking at the characters is beneficial to any author. Thank you
2862646
Many homosexual relationships have dominate and submissive pairs where both are happy to either take or relinquish control to the other partner. As someone who has been in such a relationship, I can tell you that between the two of them the event would have been seen as normal for the both of them.
"Hurricane Fluttershy" actually furthers the dom/sub relationship because subs use doms to help them explore new potentials and situations. In other words, FS wanted RD to help push her into new and exciting situations, and enjoys RD's aggressiveness because she knows it is out of care rather than disappointment. The tornado was, however, a real problem that she had had since before they had met, thus there was a temperary break of the dom/sub relationship as FS really believed that she could not push past this problem. In the end it was because of their relationship that FS pushed herself to be there for RD.
2862610
S2E23, “Ponyville Confidencial”, Scootaloo tries to fly but slams into the ground, her wings still flapping after landing generating only enough lift to pick up a small part of her own body... As for RD and FS, it is very frustrating that after everything that has been shown, you still want to say that not only is there a possibility that they are not a couple, but it is more likely they are not. I suppose if I watched your family videos I could use the same logic to say that the people you claim to be your parents aren't; it wouldn't matter that they call you son/daughter, because non-parents can do that too if they are close enough, it wouldn't matter that you are never seen without them, it wouldn't matter that one of them always seems to be holding the camera. All because throughout the whole series of videos you never hear them state that their last name is the same as yours... I'd imagine that if someone actually did that to you, it wouldn't be long until you were screaming at them, “what do you want?”
2863164
But there are also Dominant and Submissive relationships with heterosexuals as well as good friends. For example I am very much the Submissive person when it comes to a majority of my friends. I count on my friends to push me into experiences I am entirely uncomfortable with.
I'm just saying that they are really good friends, and that's all the canonical evidence we have at this point. And it does indeed set a great stage for a romance between them, but it doesn't make it canonical.
Though at this point I think I run the risk of sounding like a broken record as I can't really think of any more to add to the discussion. I do respect your opinion though, and do not mean to cause offense by arguing with you.
2863217
Oh, and I forgot to mention on that last point in regards to someone watching a whole series of my family videos and then asserting that those aren't my parents. That doesn't make sense. What you could assert is that the videos simply don't offer up enough evidence to prove that they are my parents, at which point I could offer up various other points of evidence to prove that they are.
See, I'm not asserting that they aren't a pair. I'm simply saying there isn't enough evidence to prove that they are a pair. (It's kind of like atheism actually.)
As I said earlier. It's fun to have discussions like this. Thank you for bringing it up
2863279
In my analogy, you would not be able to show me strictly within the limits of the tapes, because the tapes, like the episodes of MLP, were not made expecting a need to state the obvious.
2863332 Yes. If there were only those tapes and I never called them 'mom' or 'dad', or the relations were in no way revealed, and I had no way of providing any other form of evidence to you. Then, indeed, that would not be enough evidence for you to know that those were my parents.
It would open great grounds for stories about who you thought those people were though.
They could be an uncle and aunt forced to take me in after a tragic fire killed my four siblings and real parents.
However, the tapes are made differently from MLP. MLP follows a narrative and the conventions of storytelling. Where as a home-video would showcase a family for the sake of the memories (and would likely explain who is who in the process).
I'm just saying there's simply not enough evidence to prove that they are a homosexual pair within the show's canon.
I'm guessing Scoots didn't get a Blackmail Cutie Mark.
Overall while I didn't find it hilarious, it did give me a few chuckles and was well written. Thumbs up from me.
2863424 I didn't read your comment. I only read the word "yes," and I'm going to respond with:
No.
Yes.
2863685 I didn't expect it to be uproariously funny, as the most I got out of it when writing we a few chuckles myself. Maybe one day I'll figure out how to write the comedy genre really well. Though to figure it out I'll probably have to read a lot more comedy stories. Thanks for reading though.
2864024 Okay
2864737
Yeah Comedy can be hard to write, especially since it's so subjective. What has one person rolling on the floor laughing will have another just shake their head. Given that this was your first try (at least on this site) at a genre that you yourself consider your worst I'd say it was great.
I don't know I don't think I can believe that Rainbow would be wanting to ditch Scootaloo for flying lessons. It sounds like she sees Scootaloo as a pariah or pest, but as the element of Loyalty she would be irritated sure when it is a less than flattering moment. However she would not bail and take a vacation. Also Sweetie would know that Rarity would be furious with her to give away something that was hers.
Those are the only things that bothered me. Otherwise a great story.
2894124 I suppose it depends on how you look at it. RD wasn't seriously thinking of ditching her. It was more of annoyed thought in her mind, her lazy side speaking up as it were. You know that look she got when Pinkie was chasing her in 'Griffon the Brushoff'? Sort of like that, only far more mild.
As for Sweetie and her ticket. I imagine that Sweetie got a hold of the ticket while Rarity was busy with work (sneaky sneaky). This was what I had in mind anyway. Or perhaps (though surely less likely) Rarity gave the ticket to her sister as a sort of signal of her trust in her sister. I'll agree that this plot point wasn't the most well thought out
2895290
Oh gotcha...
The characters were well portrayed and never felt out-of-character.
Aside from that, it was decent. nice little story, cute ending, but not much else.
it felt like an episode of the show. you got the characters right and the story was cute. good work.
also thanks to my upvote your upvotes are now at
wait for it 
69!!! get it 69 
ill stop now 
Now, I would love to see an image of the trio in matching dresses
This is one of those stories that I once liked enough to fave, but after a while something about it no longer appeals to me.
I'd say what it was, but even I'm not sure if I know.