This is a fan-made, alternative ending to AuroraDawn's "Rainbow Factory". All credit for the original story, and the source of my inspiration, goes fully to her.
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- Member Since 16th Feb, 2012
- offline last seen Nov 28th, 2021
Regvarde
I'm just a college student hoping to find my ground in writing and to one day make a fic series that bridges the gap between G1 and G4 MLP. We shall all know what happened to Megan Williams.
Regvarde
Joined 16th Feb, 2012 ·
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I'm going to be honest right up front: I've never read "Rainbow Factory", I never want to read "Rainbow Factory", I never will read "Rainbow Factory", I won't even listen to the song "Rainbow Factory", in fact just reading the summary and TVTropes page was enough to keep me from sleeping for a few days. Now that that's out of the way...
To be honest, despite your "I suck so much because I wrote a fanfic of a fanfic" introduction this story is actually pretty good. It's technically well executed and I can tell when new paragraphs begin and when someone's speaking or thinking, which is a consistent problem on this site sadly. Story wise, while I'm sure people will be comparing this to "what rainbows are made of" it does things differently and stands well on its own. Now there is a comparison there and they both work off the same premise: "Rainbow Factory" was a bad dream that Scootaloo had brought on by, among other things, apprehension regarding her upcoming flight exam and both stories opt to divert the reader away from thinking that Cloudsdale really does... what "Rainbow Factory" suggested... Yeah I can't even spell it out here and I don't want to.
However, while "What Rainbows are Made of" decided to be a sweet and heartwarming story it was very cheesy. Now there's nothing wrong with cheese but it was a little much, especially towards the end. This story, however, seems to play out a bit more realistically and while not laugh out loud funny it's amusing. Rainbow Dash teasing Scootaloo about her maybe having feelings for Orion was well done. Some might argue that it's OOC for Dash but then again it's not like there's any claim to back up that she wouldn't tease Scootaloo for having a crush.
Overall I liked this story a lot, not loved per say but it's a good story despite the supposedly "damning" element in your "confession" at the start. While some may not appreciate fanfiction of fanfiction I felt this works well as a counterargument to "Rainbow Factory" even though it's not opposed enough to negate the dark feelings that work conjures it's lighthearted and fun enough that it works very well.
You have some really skill as a writer and I think you should keep it up. I'm not sure if this will get on ED but even so you might want to try, if for no other reason than to see what the Pre-readers think of it and see if maybe it can be improved. I don't know if it can be or not, I'm no editor or ED Pre-reader, but give it a go.
Great story and I'm gonna watch you from now on, hopefully you can do more stuff in the future, just please don't descend into Grimdark stuff, please!
Awesome story, loved it!
rainbow factory is one of my favs, and so, I will read this as well. I'm putting this in my later read list. (too many of em there)
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Yeah that's probably a good idea. In my opinion RF was worse then Cupecakes. Because while Cupcakes was just mindless gore, RF had a whole reason(ish?) thing to it and made the whole thing a lot more brutal and emotional. That is what made it truly bad. So yes you did a good thing by not reading, though I can't say the same about myself. I love stories with happier alternate endings, like Captain Hook and The biker Gorilla. (But secretly it's Rainbow Factory.) And if don't like/want to read or look at it at all, then that's okay but trust me watch that and you will be laughing your but off at RF. Plus I like that then the real story anyway.
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Oh and this was a good story too! It took awhile to read but it was pretty good over all. =3
Awesomeness! Awesomeness! Awesomeness! Awesomeness! Awesomeness! Awesomeness! Awesomeness! Awesomeness! Awesomeness! Awesomeness! Awesomeness!
Awesomeness!
I thought this was a pretty decent story. The opening was by far the best part, especially the description of how the dream faded. However, I did notice a few amateurish mistakes - you blatantly state the character's feelings when it is already clear by their dialogue (if you wanted to, perhaps describe their body language instead. If they're sad their ears droop for example). Other than that, it was a nice story
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Believe me I have no desire to read that story either.
Reviewed your fanfiction: Link
492109
LMAO OH MAN! That's funny right there! was laughing through the entire thing!
Yeah, I guess all in all, it does sound pretty retarded when you spell it out. Good thing this is only my first story.
474496
Awesome feedback is Awesome, my friend. And don't worry, this isn't the end of the line for me; I got some ideas buzzing around my head that I intend to try and bring to fruition. I just have to find the time to do it. The last few weeks of the semester are driving me CRAZY!
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I know what that's like, not anymore but I've been there.
This story was so damn amazing!
I really dont think you should feel ashamed of writing a fanfic of fanfic, cause this is just really really REALLY awesome!
Keep up the awesome work!
thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!!
now i no longer have to be depressed and want to destory the world because of the evil masterpiece known as the Rainbow Factory!
i pay you in many mustaches.
This is the only Rainbow Factory remake/alternate ending I've come to like. Thank you very much
The story could use a little editing for grammatical errors.
Other than that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this...especially since I dont really have any interest in reading Rainbow Factory at all.
This, to me, was the equivalent of "Smile, Smile, Smile" after Cupcakes was created. The happy punch to the face that dispelled all my worries and misgivings about certain characters.
In essence, Thank you for redeeming the characters and writing an excellently short alternate ending. It was masterful and I truly enjoyed it.
Best of luck in your future endeavors mate
who in thier right mind would dislike this
Such a happy ending
So.. what was rainbow's dream again? *evil giggling*
Best ending evar! YYYYYAAAAAAHHHHHHHOOOOOOO! I FINALLY ASKED HER OUT!!!!!!!!!!!
What movie was it that Scootaloo watched?
I've seen hundreds of fix-fictions of Rainbow Factory, and only one or two have managed to even be good enough to keep my attention more than a paragraph.
This is one of them. Great job, man! I really enjoyed this ^^
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OH EM GEE WHAT IS THIS?! I was just reading some fic when I saw the Notification, and now I'm all
Thank you! Thank you so much!! I'm really glad you liked it! I was just reading this the other day and I was like "Man, this thing really sucks", but now? Wow. Thanks. Just...thanks!
This was great. I love how everything turned out alright in the end.
Oh man I really, Really liked this alot. The rainbow factory was a bit freaky and you did a fantastic job making it believable that it was all just a dream, also the story itself was put together so well I just couldn't stop reading it. I wish there was more, I want to know what happens with Scootaloo and Orion. And just more to the whole story its self. Again great job.
MY name is Orion, and i think i'm around scoots age like 13-14 right?
Wait, why do i think of this
Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!
That was so. Darned. Cute!
I would have liked Rainbow Factory if it had a better ending than it did. But this just fills me with joy. I never thought of the nightmare alternate ending. I did however consider the scenario of Twilight, Celestia or Luna happening to do a surprise inspection in over a thousand years ago. Then they just shut down everything, arrest the managers, and possibly give Rainbow Dash a taste of her own medicine.
What was the horror movie Scoots was watching anyway? Could it have been a movie about her nightmare? You know fillies and colts trying to survive the Rainbow Factory, only to die horrible deaths?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
3554640
Which means that Smile HD was... Pinkie's nightmare?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I usually hate "it was all a dream!" stories, but this one kept my attention by having events during the day mirror things that happened in the dream. Kept me wondering "It was all a dream...or was it?" long enough to get me through the story. Well done.
I love what you did here, it made that horrifying end to "Rainbow Factory" seem like it never happened. YAY!!!!!
YYYYYAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!
That was a great ending. Even scary stories can have nice endings.
This is a really well made fanfic, it took away the horrors that stunned me when I read the whole story, and listened to the music video.
After reading the original fanfic, I was just downright scared of rainbow dash. Now after reading yours, the cruse has been lifted
Anyway, the plot is very well thought out, in fact I wanted to write my own fanfic, cause not one I found satisfied me, until I found yours. I completely forgot about the nightmare plot
Your fanfic is absolutely 110% awesome!! Really believable and non-cheesy plot. And the events were well executed too.
Please do more!! And don't fall to the dark side... (If you know what I mean)
Your getting 20% cooler
can you please make a sequel with that between orion and scoots?
I'm just imagining scoots one day finds a door that looks very similar... Almost like she dreamed about it...
Later, Dash finds out that Pinkie has a split personality, and her other half seems insane. Well, more insane then Pinkie already is.
Also, thanks for not ending off when Scootaloo wakes up. I like how you had the flight test part put in.
Thank you. I prefer pleasant stories. After reading two other rainbow factories and that damned cupcakes I needed that.
*hears cupcakes* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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... so sweet and tasty!
Cupcakes, don't be too hasty!
Cupcakes! Cupcakes, cupcakes, cupcakes!
I have never read rainbow factory. However, I read the less scary version on the mlp wiki page and it was okay. I love how this story is still kinda dark but not that dark. Also nice reference to cupcakes. I'll bet one of Pinkie's sisters made the movie.
787703
I my self liked the ending of the Rainbow Dash Presents version
"You mean this whole time we could have used crayons, Ah man, now we're going to pony hell for nothing"
Loved it! Loved how you tied cupcakes into this and have a rainbow factory thing rolling.