• Published 10th Jul 2013
  • 2,409 Views, 64 Comments

Toasting a Marshmallow - The Keybrony Master



Spike decides to take a leaf from Big Mac's book by speaking as little as possible to see if that will finally spark Rarity's interest in him and a relationship.

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Ch. 2 - Sparks

"YOU WHAT?!" Twilight yelled, grabbing Spike's face and staring at him as if he had just announced that he had rented a serial killer a room for the week."I've told you three times already Twi… “Spike replied, albeit with a bemused expression, " I asked Rarity to the Grand Galloping Gala and she said yes… "
She continued staring at him for a minute, a horrified expression plastered across her face; which was for once not buried in an old tome of some sort… "THE GRAND GALLOPING GALA IS IN A WEEK! HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO BE PREPARED FOR A DATE IN ONLY A WEEK?!" She yelled as she scrambled to and fro in the library, grabbing every book on dating she could find, before unceremoniously dumping a small mountain of books on him, and frantically rushing off in search of paper, quills, and ink.

Managing to excavate his way from the mound of prose, manners, and romance, he announced rather simply; "I've been planning this for a couple weeks…"

Twilight stopped dead in her tracks at those words, and whirled to face him; before shaking him and yelling "THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE PLANNING THIS?! I COULD HAVE HELPED YOU BE READY FOR THIS MONTHS AGO!"

With a roll of his eyes, he replied "I would have consulted you, but I just felt I didn't need you breathing down my neck for three months…"

With an aggravated cry, she resumed scrambling about, pulling chalkboards into the center of the room; presumably to make diagrams of the exact movements he should make over the next seven days, as per her usual insanity whenever somepony else makes plans, and she is left out of the loop…

Spike simply reclined on his rather uncomfortable throne of hardbacks sporting mushy content, watching with a mildly exasperated expression adorning his draconic muzzle


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Finally managing to escape Twi's whirlwind of notes, books and cheesy lines for impressing Rarity; Spike stumbled out the front door, before plastering himself to the wall as Pinkie bounced by, inches from flattening him into a rather scaly welcome mat as she hopped around madly on two pairs of what appeared to be spring loaded horseshoes. No longer startled by her sudden appearance, and the near- landing on his aching cranium he breathed a sigh of relief and uttered in a barely audible tone, "Man that was close… It would suck if something happened to me before my date…"

At these words, Pinkie froze mid-bounce and dropped back down in front of Spike with a excited expression, and began rapidly assaulting his ears with questions at a speed that would make machine guns flinch, "OHMY GOSHYOUHAVEADATE?!WHEREAREYOUGOINGONYOURDATE?!WHOISIT,SOMEPONYIKNOW?WELL,IPRETTYMUCHKNOWEVERYPONYAROUNDHEREANYWAYS,RIGHTGUMMY?!" Her inherently emotionless and hair-nomming companion blinked from his perch on her fluffy, hot pink mane, non-plussed as always; playing the perfect opposite to her overly energetic demeanor. With a happy laugh she stated with a goofy expression; "Of course I was going to ask where he was taking her Gummy, that's kinda obvious, silly…

Spike watched silently as Pinkie conversed with her distinctly quiet companion; momentarily forgetting her obsession over the identity of Spike's date, and the location they would be headed for on their date… Realizing what a good opportunity he had, he had snapped out of it and snuck away slowly.

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Walking out of Ponyville, Spike spotted a small cloud hanging low against the otherwise clear backdrop of a mid-day sky, and decided to see if Rainbow Dash was on it. Sure enough, lying there without a care in the world was the chromatic cloud wrangler herself, taking a mid-day nap.

"Hey Dash, you mind if I ask you something?”Spike called up to her, shuffling his feet nervously.

She poked her head over the edge of the cloud, before responding, "Sure, what is it? Wanna know about my new tricks, death-defying stunts, and general awesomeness? “She responded with a cocky grin.

"Actually, I just need some advice…You see, I finally got to ask Rarity out on a date, and she said yes… but… I don't know what I should do next…" He informed her anxiously.


"Pfft, that's easy… You finally got her, now you just have to keep impressing her… I'd start with a dive, and then a few laps around the place…"

After a few minutes of her detailing flight patterns to him, he realized she wasn't going to be of any help, and excused himself quietly.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Walking back into town, Spike stopped by a familiar sight, Applejack's cart set up, and business as usual being conducted with a smile, and an exchange of bits. He walked up to the stand, and greeted Aj, "Hey Aj, I was wondering if you could give me some advice about something… I finally managed to work up the nerve to ask Rarity out, and she said yes…"

"Well shoot, what's the problem then? It sounds like you've got what you wanted, right?" She replied, with puzzlement scrawled across her ironically orange face.

"I don't know what to do now that I've got her to say yes… We're going to be attending the Gala together… and I'm nervous… I don't want to embarrass myself…" He replied nervously.

"Oh… I'm not that good with them frou-frou manners and the like, but I guess just be polite and such," She responded with a shrug.

Gaining nothing further to work with, Spike headed out of town again with a sigh.

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"Ahh… much better…" Spike sighed, reclining in a quiet, billowing field outside Ponyville, the wind whistling gently through the stalks of grass surrounding him. Looking around happily, he discovered a small group of animals nearby, centered around Fluttershy; who as always was attempting to appease them. Walking slowly and enjoying the simple peace of the field, he made his way to Fluttershy.

"There we go, eat up little ones… Be sure to eat all your food so you can grow up to be big and strong, like your auntie Fluttershy..." She encouraged them as they picked over their food.

"Hey Fluttershy..." at Spike's sudden appearance, Fluttershy squeaked and hid behind some of the larger animals she had been prompting to eat, earning her a disdainful look from Angel in the process.

Her pink mane poked out from behind the animals, and she looked out to see Spike standing there with an amused expression. With a relived sigh she whispered, "Oh, it's just you Spike… You startled me, I wasn't expecting you… Not that I mind you being here of course, I just meant that you scared me… um, not that you're scary because you’re a dragon, it's just that…"

With a small smile Spike interrupted her, "It's fine Flutters, I was just passing through and thought I'd stop by and talk awhile…" He scratched the back of his head with an awkward smile, "Besides, I need a little help… You see, I finally got a date with Rarity… I've been trying to get advice from the others, but… Twilight's too logical, Pinkie's just Pinkie, Rainbow's advice is useless for someone without wings, and AJ doesn't have any advice I didn't already know… So I thought I'd ask you for some tips…"

"Oh my… um… I'm sorry Spike, but I've been on even less dates than you have… I don't know the slightest thing about dating… I'm sorry…" She replied with a dejected expression.

"Oh… That's alright Fluttershy... I guess I could always ask the princess… See you later..." He replied as he walked back towards town.

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Dear Princess Celestia,

I am worried; I finally managed to work up the courage to ask the mare of my dreams to accompany me to the Grand Galloping Gala next week. My problem however, is that I am nervous about how to act during this date. I worry that if I mess up during such an important event, I might not have another chance to ask her again. I might not even have the chance to talk to her again. Please Princess, is there any advice you can give me?

Sincerely,

Spike

Author's Note:

Happy Thanksgiving, or whatever else you celebrate... also, I rarely get a chance to get on this site which is why this took so long to appear... and that view counter! Wow! Thanks to everyone who's viewed, faved, submitted to groups, and up-voted this! I need all the help I can get... fortunately; the third chapter is in the works... hopefully I don't take four months this time, huh? -laughs- anyways, comments and suggestions appreciated and suggested... Oh, and as I like putting stuff in here; feel free to comment with good Dr. Whooves jokes and/or references! If I like it enough, I'll find a way to work it into one of the chapters and credit you in the author’s box...

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Comments ( 21 )

Hold it! First, which season took place?

In the description: don't you mean "a page from Big Mac's book"?
Anyways, keep writing.

3551977

"A page from" and "a leaf from" mean the same thing in this instance.

3551977 and 3552170 Spade is correct in this instance, and it's also an intentional pun... leaf... apple farmer... :trollestia:

3551898 eh... late season three or so..

An important factor that I neglected to mention yet is two things, one ponies have a shorter lifespan than humans, so if the issue of "Spike isn't 18" is raised by someone, I'll remind them that due to their shorter lifespan, ponies would most-likely have lower legal age limits on drinking and mating.. (they typically live to 25 or 30) making them approximatly half the natural age of a human (60 to 80) the second is that in addition to a shorter lifespan, they would obviously mature faster... I put the mane six at teenage years by this ratio, but fully adult as well, given that this would make them twenty to thirty in pony years (much in the same fashion as dog years) which explains why :raritydespair: is so concerned about her appearence, she is a third of the way through her lifespan already.. Compounding the age factor further is that dragons are thoerized to have lifespans that stretch centuries with ease... meaning Spike will most likely be a "baby" dragon until he is a hundred or older... therefore, trying to compare his age with a human or worse, pony lifespan is ridiculous... At best, I place his age withing a handful of years of Twi's to begin with.. and seeing as how the ratio put her in her mid/late twenties it makes him around eighteen or so by use of pony years... I figured I should clear this up for shippers who have a guilty conscience about shipping someone who seems underage... Feel free to re-direct people who complain aboout age factors to this, I love a good scientific discussion with people who are screaming their points at me... :twilightsmile:

3552311 Okay then as I was saying, Spike wants advice to either Princess Celestia(aka his Momlestia) or Princess of Light and Love herself Cadence.

Canon is pretty silent on the actual lifespans of ponies, though certainly the equines we know in the human world do indeed live for 25-30 years. (And do we know how long the Equestrian year is?) But this is mere quibbling, of course, since you've gotten the relative proportioning where it logically ought to be.

(First story I did, I posited a typical lifespan of 70-80 years, however long those years are, and wrote Twilight as twentyish and Spike as maybe 15 but definitely underage. Of course, as Peter, Paul and Mary remind us, a dragon lives forever, though not so little boys.)

3552558 I want to actually skip the reply letter until maybe the last chapter to give a great big "oh, that makes sense moment" I'm thinking after all is said and done Spike wil pick it up and read it again and it'll make a lot of sense to everyone..

3552575 when looked at objectively, Twi hatched him at around what, five? that would suggest that if she was in her late twenties in pony years, it would make him eighteen to twenty.. besides, thinking logically she's been through celestia's school for the gifted, which appears to be higher education school, possibly one that was a combination of high school and college.. given that she was supposedly a young prodigy, it seems she would've skipped several grades to get into that school... assuming she spent an average time there, that would mean she studied there for around eight to ten years give or take and then was the princess's student for several years..
I'd say she spent at least five years doing that.. which would place her literal age at around 19.. hence her pony age, late twenties.. I would assume equestrian mating age is around 14, given that they age faster than us... 14 being early twenties in pony years..

3553035
You certainly don't have to defend your chronology to me: it fits just fine. I don't remember anypony saying that I was the Wizard of Speed and Time or anything like that.

3553339 I'm not defending against you, I'm putting that out so that the next person who comes along won't have to ask.. preperations are important:twilightsmile:

3553433 will any of us see a motherly celestia going off on rarity (subtly) for being with spike, or the celestia that apparently has nothing to do with spike that we see in other fics:rainbowhuh:

3552630
That's a great idea. Both because it provides more suspense and interest (as a variation on the up-front reveal you used in the story description), and because it'll be hilarious if Celestia's reply was ambiguous and Spike ends up misinterpreting it in a way that works out for the best.

What happened to this :raritydespair:

Dear Spike,
Hero of the Crystal Empire
Assistant to Princess Twilight Sparkle
Prince of the Canterlot Knights
Messenger of the Royal Court
Ward of Princess Celestia

Spike, BE YOUR SELF, I'm sure Raritys heart is yours.
Ask your auntie Luna.

Your MUM Celestia.:trollestia:

4726037 My laptop screen stopped working, and I haven't had the opportunity to buy another laptop (I found one for like 50 bucks somehow...) sadly i had like two chapters on the broken one...

5358950 I understand. If I could help, I would. It's near christmas anyway. Unfortunately, I do not own a lot of money.
Whether to leave this story be or continue it is your choice.

5359740 Luckily I managed to purchase it for $39.80 instead! :pinkiehappy:
now if only I could find those back chapters... :applejackunsure:
In the meantime, I have a new story up.
Sadly, it's a very badly written clop ( :pinkiesick: ) which I'll most likely take down after it gets spammed with hate. :facehoof:

5002348

and procedes to spay him

SPAY

That's a bit excessive, don't you think Derpy? He may be sterile, but he might need those parts nonetheless...
[I'm a LD fan too... Actually pretty much anything by Jitters is cool...]

$38? What are you buying, a windows 2000?

5483251

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