Perfection? I don't want that, because that would mean stopping, standing still, instead of improving.
Princess Celestia has discovered that ponies under her watchful eyes are disappearing. The problem is that she has no idea where they are ending up or where the bodies are.
At the same time her most faithful adviser, Red Velvet, sneaks out under the cover of darkness to do foul deeds without her knowledge.
That raises the question; What is he planning and why hasn't the Princess caught him yet?
Page generated in 0.312 seconds
Total duration
1,013 users online
301,317 hits today, 2,205,040 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Ponies being kidnapped, and brainwashed? I like your premise, and it's intriguing.
There are some places where you could word things better, and sometimes it's awkward, but overall I like it so far.
I generally like your ideas, so keep coming up with good material, and I'll keep reading it.
It might be a good idea to find someone to proofread your work. Someone reliable. Not me, I'm too busy.
I'm sure you could find someone though.
2742504
Kidnapped, yes. Brainwashed? Not really sure how that one happened.
Also, its good to hear from you again.
Red Pentegram over a blue sheild? I'm going to call him "Crimson Stallion, Defender of Evil, and Avenger of the Wicked"
First, RD's reputation isn't "infamous" generally that's a bad thing.
Second, you can't have "some high skill" pick one descriptive word or the other.
I'll point out some other things later, but for now I sleep.
Good job, keep it up.
I will reread and comment on this chapter later, but I'm too sleepy right now.
It looks fine though.
Is this story related to your other stories?
9006776 No. Everything that's posted on an older date, before when Sunset's Adventure in Skyrim was posted, is an older story that I wrote for fun or because I was telling a story... none of them have anything to do with my Universe 13 series.