A factory worker with no future and a bored dimension hopping vampiric troll. Two beings who would have never met by anything but a sheer 1000000 to 1 chance.
The chances of said vampiric troll taking an interest were just as low.
Yet somehow, despite all odds, I caught the attention of Kischur Zelretch Shweinorg, the master of the kaleidoscope magic. And rather than troll me, he decided to help me. He gave me a chance to start over, and I couldn't be more grateful.
Though he could have told me what was in these coffins!