It has been forever since I have done one of these, but here I am, still! Still on hormones, still in college, though University this time. I spent a whole frikken hour figuring out how to long back in because I forgot everything. As another update, my father is still alive and doing better, but I'm not. This whole life thing is really bugging me down. I'm not sure how much more I can take. Nothing seems to get better, at least to me. The happy moments in my life feel so

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Things were delayed a few more days, but it's all clear now. My first electroshock treatment commences tomorrow at 9:30 am EDT (less than fifteen hours away).

Yeah, it's probably not going to shut me up either.

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Or whatever holiday you're celebrating, I hope you enjoy it!

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I know I owe another chapter by Monday to those following Broken Symmetry, but there's a chance it might be delayed.

Sweet, sweet nepenthe.

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We just watched the rest of Season 9.

We're still crying. Good stuff.

And, now...?

The show may be over, but G4's still only just begun.

Before I say anything let me preface this with a statement warning that this blog will talk about depression and suicide. If that is something your either uncomfortable about or cant handle this is the point that you should stop reading and move on.

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The stories that I am writing 'The 5 Confessions' and 'Celestia's twisted love' will be delayed for some time. The reason for that is my depression has come to a point where I just feel worthless because of recent personal events that have happened to me. I am really sorry that I can't continue writing my stories for you right now but I hope you understand.

So, I made a sad story within a couple hours because I felt like it~ It's titled Lingering Touch. Feel free to check it out!

IN WHICH I SUFFER A MINOR BREAKDOWN
It's the middle of the night here and I don't want to sleep. So here's some Matthew Sweet. Enjoy!

This song is extremely relevant to the Recovery Arc. It also kicks ass. If you'll please click through:

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I suppose this will be easier if I start in the beginning and summarize.

Everything was finally looking up back in March, tech issues got dealt with in mid April and things looked perfect.

Then something really bad happened in April, which got worse in May, which led to something worse happening last month.
I've been trying to figure out how to explain this ever since I got back from an emergency facility on June 22nd 2017.

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I really didn't want to do this.

Every year that passes, we find more YouTube content creators who have decided to move away from the platform due to different situations. But when it comes to people who tolerate the pressure of their audience, it can become dangerous for one's mental health.

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So I had a rough holiday season. On the one part I completed the move and now have my set up, well set up. On the other hand, I had a job and I couldn't handle the work hours along with my collapsing social life.

Long story short, I shut down. Like, hard.

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If you read my previous blog, you know that my family dog Rex was nearing the end of his life…

He survived through Thanksgiving and Christmas to today, but unfortunately, it’s looking like he’s at the point where we have to put him to sleep…

I’ll fight through the agonizing grief I’m going through to give you guys the last part of Chapter 14, but I’ll need help writing the story after that point…

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'Cause vodka makes everything right again after a day of anxiety and panic attacks, right?

Check out the song; trust me, it is awesome, even if you aren't a metalhead \m/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7kJRGPgvRQ

If the link doesn't work, looking up "vodka" should summon the right video first. If not, keep in mind the title of this arbitrary blog :)

Thank any one of our alicorn goddess that I start seeing a therapist, in addition to my regular psychiatrist, sometime next week.

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At this moment as I begin to write this is the story that sits atop the feature box. It brought back a conversation That I had with a friend I have made on here some months back. We had discussed our own life situations in the past, and that day, for whatever reason I told him of an observation I have made.

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I'm sorry for the lack of updates. I wasn't kidding when I said I had a slew of stories and updates to publish, but the problem is that I can't polish them off while I'm saddled with depression.

Indeed.

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I have about twenty stories going at once, but I'm grading this weekend. The semester's nearly over, however, so I'm probably going to publish a bunch of stories at roughly the same time. In all likelihood, I'll start doing this in a week or two, so be patient.

That said, I have a little mystery to solve.

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