Depression is not about being unhappy. It's an illness. And it can end deadly.
If you wonder what it feels like, you really have no idea bout it.
If it's bad enough, you don't feel anything. Emotions are erased from you. From your soul.
And everything around you is like a movie. You see it happen, but it's all just an act. None of it is real.
When you're around others, you're lonely. Nothing matters.

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Something happened and I just need time to think.

I'll be back soonish I guess.

Just feel down right now, so until then bye.

This is the blog post I mentioned I'd make in the author's notes of the latest chapter of LBC.

This started this past December around christmas. I was in charge of making christmas dinner since my grandmother passed away last year and it was a damned nightmare. My dad, whom I live with, has become a blubbering, shell of a man. Despite living with him, he doesn't really know me. There's always been distance between us (physical abuse) and he believes we're best buddies when we aren't.

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Scribbler, one of the top fanfiction readers, and a pretty decent writer, has written and read a description of depression that is the most accurate and complete I have ever seen.

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....to refer everyone back to my blogs, a couple months ago, about depressiion.

Since the middle of last week, I have fallen into another bad depressive episode. The new dog is helping in that at least I have a cuddle buddy and emotional support anchor, but she came along right at the worst part (the part where I don't get out of bed, don't feed myself, and don't even bathe myself). The part where it hurts to even THINK about doing anything.

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Not quitting the story just very depressed

So lately I've been thinking about a few things that I'm going to say below.

My mother and father have been divorced for around seven or so years, which is nothing out of the ordinary. And my mother is now remarried, as was my father, until recently. I have four half-siblings, and they're all pretty cute.

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I'm depressed. I'm not particularly concerned about it: This doesn't happen very often, It's not a deep depression and I know it will go away, but right now I'm depressed for a few reasons, mostly my inability to care about writing much these days I have hundreds of interesting ideas and zero will to get them onto paper. That's why so many of my stories are stupid random oneshots these days. But just cause I'm depressed doesn't mean you should be. Go give someone a hug for me, please.

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I am feeling sad today. So last Friday I went on a tour and had my first interview at UPS. They told me I needed to call them today between 10:00-10:30 in the morning to schedule a second interview.

Today I called them at 10:00 and was told that I should call back between 2:00-2:30. The clock hits 2:00 and I call them... but no one picks up. I call a total of 5 times within that time and the phone just rang... and no one picked up.

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I don't know... how but in one day I'm depressed. Half of them I can't say any way. But my dog died, grandma died, I need a break from this guy's, best friend died. All in the span of a few days. I'm taking a break from it all...

Good song too. Need to take a break... see ya people. *Walks into sunset*

Burning everything I know
Desperate for a change..
Crashing down the ancient roads
Past our yesterday...

Maybe there's hunger in my blood...
Screaming out loud from what I want...
See me running full speed at it....
Shattering.....collide....
Call it pulse tramatic....

Now...it's do or die...🔫🔫🔪🔪

I don't think I've wanted to be alive for a few days now. Or weeks. I don't know...

No, I won't do anything drastic. But maybe I'll be admitted somewhere.

I just need to get away from everything.

I should just take my meds and shut up with the attention whoring. I'm just so sick of trying to act like I'm okay though. I can't.

I am

the tool
the last choice
the backbone of everyone
the depressed freak
the attention seeker
the selfish monster
the sick psycho
the feminine boy
the scrawny nerd
the end of the line
the easy target
the joy sucker
the dead end
the hopeless fool
the abandoned freak
the lost man

the me

sorry for being sad all the time, I just need help *sniffles*

none of uoy did anything wrong. My problems are entirely caused by my off-line life. I may elaborate when I feel better. I am sorry I am avoiding you all, but I can't right now. sorry. I may pop up from time to time, but intill I work through this, I probably won't respond. It may take me som time. I really am sorry I am this way.

[color=FF0000]None of you did anything wrong.

I’m just sad of FiM is coming to an end, and the same time I’m feeling a bit upset of the briny fandom is dying. I don’t want the fandom to fade, but to continue to coexist. I want every brony know that they’re not the only one as I am. And I never felt that upset of this in my life, and I hope G5 MLP will be decent.

Having one of those days...

It's putting food in your mouth, but not having the energy to chew it.

It's watching cars pass by, wondering what would happened if you just ran in front of one.

It's being surrounded by people, but bearing the weight of a crushing loneliness.

Anyone want to talk? I just need a friend go talk to.

There's nothing wrong, I'm just... sad.

I know I've been all "doom and gloom" lately, and I'd like to apologize for that. I know it's annoying to have other people's misery shoved onto you.

Basically what happened is my antidepressants stopped working one day, and then I randomly decided to go on an anti-medication rebellion, which turned out to be a super bad idea (I even ditched my allergy meds, so now I'm in really bad physical shape as well).

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Hey guys, I'm kinda feeling blue and kinda don't really know what to other than quietly sulk and make my crazy worse. Just a general chat, I'll answer some questions about really anything, I'm kinda open to whatever there is. Even if it's about my religion or what I consider a religion. It's different from anything anyone really seems to understand, but I'm also a practitioner of Wicca and Witchcraft. Again, if you'd like to skype, I'll be open for the next 30 min but then I'll just be speaking

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