Oh boiiiiiii. · 11:13am Jan 15th, 2019
So I had a rough holiday season. On the one part I completed the move and now have my set up, well set up. On the other hand, I had a job and I couldn't handle the work hours along with my collapsing social life.
Long story short, I shut down. Like, hard.
Long story long, a friend of mine came over after a night of drinking. We hung out and she slept most of the day. My roommates, my oldest friend and his wife, called me out and basically insulted my friend and offended her. THEY HAD ME TELL HER SHE COULDN'T COME OVER ANYMORE AND I HAD TO TELL HER WHY. Her problems are not mine to share, but they offended the shit out of her. I took her home, and we left on what I thought were good terms, but I had apparently spilled my massive crush on her to her friends while we were out drinking and now my chances with her are literally 0.01% if even that. It was my fault, I am still her friend. But after all of that I hit 60 hours (while missing 2 days of work) and was told I had to work on Christmas, this was three days before Christmas, and I already promised my family I would be there. Needless to say I quit the job due to mental exhaustion, I cannot handle seven days a week five to whenever we finish. I was averaging twelve hours per day. So now I have interviewed for another job, a slightly less rigorous one, and I have taken steps to better my mental and physical health.
I went to my doctor two days after Christmas and asked if they had a psychiatrist on staff, to which they said no. When she asked me why I wanted to talk to one I told her the truth, I hit a rough patch in life and it took a really bad turn in my head. She has put me on an antidepressant and put me back on my blood pressure meds, she also recommended that I find a psychiatrist and therapist where I have moved to. A friend (not one of the three already mentioned) told me to go to her psych and therapist. So I am waiting to get stable income so I can get insurance and then set up an appointment.
After that I came back out and started to play games with friends, to help distract me from myself while I adjusted to my medication. I was streaming and having a really good time. Then my roommates told me that the internet was nearing its data cap... yes I had used quite a bit of internet installing my games on my computer again, yes my stream probably did push up usage. They literally have hulu, netflix, or amazon on every day and night. I have limited my ability to stream, and I am going to skip the next few scheduled days in favor of just writing. I have talked to another friend (an old co-worker that I ended up keeping in touch with) who wants me to move to the other side of greater city area. I am completely on board for this if I get a job (which I had previously been told I would already be in) out there. I have just come to a point in my life where I need to settle down, build a social life, and focus on being myself but better (finally saw that... BYBB, I hate her).
In summary, I have some unresolved issues and mental health concerns. Suicidal ideation (I didn't know this was a thing until someone on here said something about it), stress, abandonment issues, trust issues, and lots of powerful emotions, these are a few of my problems. I don't want to let that prevent me from living. I want to stand up to my problems and fight so that I can feel better. I don't know what is waiting for me, and I don't want to only see me. There is so much more to life, there are other people who need to be considered too. I want to care, and I want to laugh, and... hell I even want to cry. During all of this, everything going on I just wish that I could shed tears. I hope anyone who reads this and is feeling down can stop and know that I care for you. I am a blunt individual when I talk, but I give a damn about almost every person I have ever talked to. I care and while I can't do much but talk and listen (I can't focus, so if you need to tell me something twice don't be surprised) I am here.
So here is the part that is important for the site, My writing progress in the month and a half that I have been gone. To be honest editing is rough for me. I have had little drive and too many distractions. That being said, I did come up with a new SERIES idea. That's right I said series. This one will be in Equestria and feature ponies. That is not to say that I am going to stop Adagio, Luna forbid. I am continuing the editing process and once I am happy with the chapters you will get both at once. I am half way through the next chapter also. Now about my new series... I kind of want it to be a surprise, and it is not going to start releasing until I have finished it and edited it, ALL OF IT. I know that is going to be a wait, but I am hoping for a fall release, starting roughly the last week of November. The way the series is designed it comes out in Seasons, containing 3 episodes (stories) per season. It has 3 seasons, and each season will have a three week break before the next one starts. While I am hopeful to accomplish that goal, the expected work count is about seventy thousand. Last year I wrote about twenty thousand in total. It will be a rough journey, and I also want to work on Adagio so hopefully this will be a good year for me as a writer and as a person.
So now is the time for some feel good pictures... I will post a few, oh and my birthday is in one week.
There we go, that should be enough fluff.
Yeesh and I thought my Christmas sucked. Sorry to hear all this bullshit happened to you mate. Shit like this is always unpredictable and unfair especially when your just trying to do the right thing