Sunset Shimmer is just trying to have a nice dinner with her friends when it is RUINED by an uninvited guest with an affinity for black goo. She knows what it is, she knows who is responsible, and she is very VERY unhappy with him. And she wants to let him know.

/x/x/x/

Rated T for exactly one instance of harsh profanity.

I did not expect this to get as popular as it did but I am very glad that people enjoyed it. Thank you all so much for getting featured, 100+ likes, and countless additions to favorites lists! 💜

Its a common sentiment that a parent should never outlive her children. But what happens when you outlive all your friends? your family? What happens when year after year you watch ponies you grow close to grow old and die? How far would you go to keep somepony, anypony you love close? How much could the need for something to remain the same, to remain unchanged affect you?

I'd like to thank my pre-readers for their valuable input on this story, and let's not forget my editor, Kalash, for his hard work.

Edit: 2/15/2020 FEATURE BOX!!!! Thank you so much for the honor! And making it to the top!!!

Jay Jepsen has recently found success as a children’s book author with his debut, “The Monster From My Closet,” the story of the unlikely friendship formed between a boy and a creature he found lurking in his room one fateful night. Returning to his old hometown, he is given permission by his childhood house’s latest owner to revisit the place he once called home. Upon finding his room, he decides to wait around to catch up with an old friend...

Closet pic found on Google, credit for Discord head belongs to MLP FiM: Discord Puppeteer by AlexCroft1991.

Luna's still settling back into her full duties, and finding out she's somehow responsible for overseeing Equestria's annual freedom festival came as something of a shock. All she really knows about the holiday is that ponies like to celebrate it with explosions. Fireworks, cannonfire... somehow, her citizens have linked 'freedom' with 'stuff blowing up.' So if there's a citizen willing to blow herself up as part of the festivities -- well, what could possibly be more appropriate?

...it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

She's only been here for a few minutes, and yet she knows more about how things should work than anypony alive. Meet the expert on all things Equestrian, except how to pronounce or spell it (and if you're pointing that out to her, then you're just being racist). She knows how to fix everything, and all that's required to do so is to let her speak with the manager!

...the Princesses?
Are you sure there isn't a higher authority available?

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages. Due to minimal story length, this was a Patreon freebie.)

Rated C for Crackfic.
This story has no purpose in existing beyond my wanting to kill a Karen.

The Diarchy has asked -- ordered, really -- Twilight to attend the Zoology Conference. This means meeting the leaders of various nations, along with making a speech. And with Twilight increasingly suspicious about what all of these extra duties might eventually mean, she's becoming desperate to make it all stop.

There's a briefing book. Long lists of things she shouldn't discuss, because doing so would be seen as an insult. And Twilight has just learned about what Applejack calls 'cancel culture'. So if she just offends enough attendees, proving that she isn't suited for this sort of thing, then she's home-free! It's not as if being offensive is hard.

Unless you're Twilight Sparkle...

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Cover art by SockPuppet.

When the Bearers go forth on missions, somepony has to cover for their day jobs. In Twilight's case, this means the palace assigns a temporary to the tree, and that pony keeps the library running to government standards. The usual problems come in when Twilight gets back and finds the results aren't up to hers.

The disaster starts when she learns the latest hire has Standards of her own.

There's nothing a compulsive reorganizer hates so much as being compulsively reorganized.

(A stand-alone, no-prior-reading necessary part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group. New members and trope edits welcome.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

~~~You asked, you receive. Bonus chapter up~~~

Twilight has successfully created fake government jobs to help her terminally broke friends be less, uh, terminally broke. All they have to do is pass a simple little background check, just an easy little formality really. Should be no problem for these national heroes, right?

Right?

Well....

I guess the constituent parts of the cover art might be property of the federal gubbermint, but, honestly, I feel like I've spent enough on ATF tax stamps to make me stealing their crisp PNGs an equal exchange.

Cheerilee has a difficult job. Ponies often believe that children are perfectly innocent. They are, most of the time, perfectly wrong about this. Small fillies are remarkably inventive, and will often stop at nothing to do exactly the opposite of what parents ask them to do. As a result, Cheerilee has become something of an expert in things that most parents assume are simply not a problem when dealing with schoolchildren.

Today, Cheerilee has just met the first perfectly innocent filly she has ever seen. The thing is, her name is the exact opposite of innocent.

This story contains dirty words, particularly with regard to sexual content of a kind that would get FiMFiction kicked off Patreon. Viewer discretion is advised.

Blame FOME for this.

After years of putting it off and literally running whenever he asked about it, Twilight Sparkle finally decided to tell Spike where foals come from. Luckily for her, it turned out it was no longer necessary.

However, the good news ended there. Once Twilight and Spike were summoned to Canterlot by the Cutie Map, the duo found themselves giving "the talk" to two ponies Twilight thought long had it.

Spike, not understanding the awkwardness of the conversation, was okay with it. Twilight on the other hoof...let's just say she wanted to reevaluate her life once it was all over.

Despite its name, this story is unrelated to my story Rarity Gives "The Talk".

EDIT: featured through 06/13/21-06/15/21!

#1 on the feature list on 06/14/21!