How would Twilight Sparkle cope without her horn? What would Rarity do if her horn fell off? What if Fluttershy's wings fell off? Or Rainbow Dash's? What if Applejack's... legs fell off? All this and more in...

THE MANE CAST-OFFS!

link to dramatis personae

There was nothing left for Spitfire in Cloudsdale, just an uncle who hated her and painful memories of lost loved ones. The Pegasus Search and Rescue Corps offers her a chance to get out of town, see the world, do some good - and one day maybe have a shot at the Guards or the Wonderbolts! She jumps at the opportunity - and six days later, she limps into training camp.

Doesn't matter: she made it. The world can beat her down, but it can't keep her down. The friendships she forms here will get her through everything training has to offer. Will they also see her through the dark clouds on the horizon?

(Rated Teen for violence, language, some suggestive themes)

I debated on updating this or changing it or even not posting it, but a quick google search showed that a lot of people still remember this (bad) fan fiction of mine and wondered where it went. Therefore, I'm posting it here unaltered so you won't have to dig around for it anymore.

History teaches us that Star Swirl The Bearded was one of the greatest unicorn mages ever to have lived. But history is notoriously fickle. Was Star Swirl really the stallion everyone thinks he was? What was the secret of his beard? What the heck was the amniomorphic spell? Discover the truth about Star Swirl, and the greatest con in Equestrian history...

Sly Clop is a laid back slacker who runs one of Ponyville's only porn shops on Soresaddle Street. He is a regular customer of Hard Cider's "gentlecolt's club", the Knife and Apple, where he regularly shoots the breeze with Rainbow Dash, who's seen better days.

One day, his only employee quits, and he's forced to hire a new one, starting a new awkward relationship with Lyra, who needs cash. What follows is a lighthearted fic with dark undertones that I hope you'll enjoy.

And if I haven't convinced you enough by this point, no, this not a clopfic.

New cover image by mickf18 on deviantART (DeusExKane here).

How do ponies shoot guns if they don't have fingers?

(Answer: with great difficulty)

Braeburn Apple has always been raised in a conservative household, as a member of the Apple family.
Throughout his life, he's been taught what's 'wrong' and what's 'right', who he was allowed to love, and who he wasn't. Above all, he was told what to be, and how to be it.
When he meets a certain blue Pegasus stallion buying pies at Sweet Apple Acres while he just so happens to be staying there, he discovers feelings he never knew he had.
Unfortunately, they happen to be the same ones he was always taught to suppress.
Can Soarin convince him that it's not wrong to be in love, and that, sometimes, in order to be happy, you need to break out of your comfort zone?
A story about discovering who you are, and being that person, no matter what others tell you to be.

WARNING: M/M, SoarinxBraeburn Coltcuddling! Touches up on some serious social issues in the real world, but with ponies, and at least 20% cooler.
If you don't like it, please do not read it.

Featured on EqD!

Cross-posted to FanFiction.NET.

Rated T for alcohol references, crude humour, and slight language.

Cover image is by Mn27 on DeviantART.

Edited by many people, included Carcer, LunaUsesCaps, and Diexna, but none have contributed more than the amazing Smayds, who has been my main editor for almost every chapter.