//------------------------------// // Chapter 3 - The Court of King Caractacus // Story: The Legend Of Star Swirl The Bearded // by Blueshift //------------------------------// Past the huge wooden gates that stood atop the mountain path lay the home of the unicorns. The High Peaks spread out before Star Swirl, craggy mountaintops coated with wispy cloud around which lay a complex network of dwellings. Hoof-made spires jostled with natural ones; large chunks of the rock faces were levelled off and extended into the mist to form the groundwork of the biggest city Star Swirl had ever seen, each mountain range joined by bridges that looked as sturdy as they did impossibly delicate. The entrance to the High Peaks was a similar path, a long stone walkway that looked terrifyingly fragile which stretched from the gates to the next mountainside upon which the huge and powerful royal palace lay like a dragon hunched protectively over its hoard. In truth, Star Swirl felt a pang of disappointment. It was not that the capital city of Unicornia was not impressive, far from it. She had no idea how it was even possible to build such a city in the clouds, let alone get enough raw materials up the steep mountainside to begin with. It had been hard enough just pulling her cart up the carefully made and well-maintained path. No, it was a more primal disappointment. One of her first memories was lying by her grandfather’s side next to a comforting, roaring fire while the rain fell in torrents outside. He had shown the curious young filly one of his most prized possessions – a bulky, beautifully illustrated encyclopaedia. That evening she had learned for the first time that there was a world outside the small village where she had grown up. That there were other races of ponies, wicked and cunning. He had shown her pictures of the pegasi, forever plotting in their cloud palaces, planning to swoop down on fillies who had been bad and take them away to their cooking pots. She found out that in the western oceans there were said to be sea ponies, who had flippers instead of hooves and ate only sea-weed. Her grandfather told her that nopony had ever seen a sea pony, and got slightly annoyed when Star Swirl asked how the book knew what they looked like, even down to the crowns they all wore and the shapes of the sand castles they lived in. She doubted they could all be kings. What fascinated her most of all though, were the unicorns. The book went into great depth about them, how they had mighty magical powers but refused to use them for the good of others. Selfish, greedy ponies unlike the noble and hardworking earth pony race. While the earth ponies lived in simple wood and mud huts, the unicorns lived in palaces of gold, ate off gold plates and even bathed in gold. Star Swirl could not tear her eyes off the pictures that showed unicorns frolicking in the lap of luxury. She still vividly remembered one particular image, of a unicorn surrounded by paintings and sitting on a gold couch with bags full of gold instead of pillows. The caption had read: ‘A unicorn peasant.’ Obviously as she had grown older and wiser, she realised that this was a bit of an exaggeration. She met other ponies who had met unicorns, even some who had travelled to their city to trade or pay taxes. There were no couches made of gold there, they had told her. Or if there were, they were very well hidden. Still, gazing out on that impossibly complex and beautiful city, Star Swirl couldn’t help but feel disappointed at the relative mundanity of it, as another foalhood dream had been snatched away. She realised she had been staring at the sprawling city for slightly too long, and so fixing her face with an expression of determination, stepped out onto the bridge that connected the gates to the main city. There was gold in that city, a whole sovereign that would soon be hers! It took a few minutes of trotting over the bridge before her brain processed that she was now rather perilously high up in the air. Curiously, she looked over the edge of the bridge which for some reason had no walls of any size and immediately recoiled from the sight. Directly below it was a chasm the likes of which she’d never seen before, a yawning black mouth between the mountains which felt as if it would reach up and swallow her whole. Giddily she skidded to the middle of the walkway and sat there for a few moments while taking deep breaths. Around her various ponies trotted happily, talking to each other or whistling. ‘What if the wind blew and you all fell off?’ Star Swirl wanted to yell. ‘You’re all crazy!’ She resisted the urge though. It was obviously a common enough journey, perhaps there was some sort of magic that stopped ponies from falling off the edge? Perhaps ponies were able to walk in a straight line without hurling themselves off the edge of a bridge to their doom? Noticing she was starting to receive more and more glances in her general direction, Star Swirl picked herself up, gave a big gulp, and continued across the bridge. *** The walls of the royal palace stood imposingly in front of Star Swirl. It was at the forefront of the city, and Star Swirl realised that it was not just built on the mountain but around it. Above the ramparts jutted the tip of the mountain, and she was sure that the mountainside must have been hollowed out to fit the imposing building. It was, she thought, rather an elegant solution. Ponies arriving at Unicornia had two choices – enter the palace, or walk around it to access the rest of the city. Wryly she noticed that no earth ponies entered the palace; any earth pony traders were kept to a strict path by guards and watched at all times. Star Swirl though, was a unicorn. At least for the purposes of this exercise. Once more gathering her resolve and trying not to think of what would happen to her should she be uncovered as an earth pony, she marched up to the mighty gates of the palace, her wooden cart trundling behind her at a good pace. “Halt, who goes there?” Her path was immediately blocked by a pike that floated inches from her face. A rather fierce looking grey unicorn stood behind it, glaring at her. Star Swirl glared back and let her cloak billow out impressively behind her. “It is I, Star Swirl the Bearded!” she boomed, boggling her eyes at the guard in a manner that was supposed to convey secret wisdom though in fact made her look a bit drunk. The guard just stared blankly back. This wasn’t quite the effect Star Swirl was going for. Her earlier success at the checkpoint had installed a degree of confidence in her which was quickly deflating. She pressed the attack. “I’m really really famous, surely you’ve heard of me! Maybe one of your colleagues talked about me last night?” She made an attempt to nudge the guard’s memory. “You know, how I killed all those goats just by staring at them?” The guard just scowled back. “No, I don’t socialise with my work colleagues, I find that lowers professional boundaries. And you can’t kill goats by staring at them, that’s ridiculous.” The pike made a quick jab in front of Star Swirl, who found herself automatically flinching back. “Now go away!” Star Swirl felt her promised gold slipping away. “Wait!” She exclaimed. “I’m here to look for Platinum!” The guard rolled his eyes. “Ugh, I thought so. Look, I’ve got no change on me, go beg somewhere else.” Star Swirl was about to give an angry retort when another guard raced up to the pair and batted the pike away from Star Swirl with a quick blast of magic. “Moonbeam you idiot, that’s Star Swirl the Bearded!” The newcomer gave the guard a quick smack around the back of the head, and hissed. “He’s expected – he’s on the guest list! He’s the pony that blew up the heads of three hundred goats last night with just the wiggle of an eyebrow!” The guard known as Moonbeam stared in confusion at his colleague. “Wait, there’s a guest list?” he frowned. “I thought we were just supposed to turn everypony away?” Star Swirl started to choke at this last sentence but held it back in long enough to turn into a slight cough, and just smiled pleasantly at the two guards. “No no, don’t worry,” she said with the wave of a hoof. “It happens all the time, ponies never remember a face! Just be thankful I didn’t explode your head! Actually…” she turned to her cart and carefully lifted out a small eggcup which she offered to Moonbeam. “Just place this magical memory scoop on your head and it will help you remember more things, so you won’t get in trouble again!” Moonbeam was too caught up in the knowledge that he was moments away from having his head exploded like a common goat to refuse, and took the egg cup gratefully, nodding with enthusiasm. “T-thank you oh merciful Star Swirl!” he exclaimed. “Yes yes, that’s right.” Star Swirl smirked. “Oh, by the way, that’ll be ten bits please.” *** Star Swirl was led into the mouth of the castle, passing through those foreboding gates into a place that few earth ponies had trod. The first surprise was the comfort – instead of the cold, dank stone interior she had imagined, the inner corridors were roomy and flooded with a warm, soft light that came from torches which flickered with an unnatural energy. The flagstones underhoof were covered with a lush carpet: Star Swirl’s hooves sunk into the deep pile and she was immediately overcome with the desire to just sit down and have a rest. She resisted the temptation however – having a nap in the middle of the corridor was sure to bring unwanted attention on her, not least from the guard at her side. The stone walls were covered with rich tapestries, a stunning myriad of colours and threads that seemed to depict unicorn history, or famous unicorns. Some of the thread was gold, Star Swirl noticed, and inlaid with precious jewels of all kinds, just hanging there unprotected. The guard was still silently trotting along beside her though, but the thought ran through her head that she might be able to lose him and make this trip even more profitable. The guard grimaced slightly as if he had some deep troubling worry on his mind, and finally turned to Star Swirl, continuing to walk at his steady pace. “That magic memory scoop you gave to Moonbeam…” he finally began. “Was… was that an eggcup?” Star Swirl felt a sudden pang of fear at the question, but turned her panic into annoyance as she rolled her eyes at the guard. “Well of course!” she exclaimed haughtily. “It was a magic eggcup. How else could he become an egghead?” “Well I…” the guard blinked slightly. “That makes sense!” He turned to Star Swirl. “D-do you have any more? I mean, I don’t want to trouble you but I’ve got an officer exam coming up and…” Star Swirl halted, raising a hoof in front of the guard and giving a mock-bow as she turned to sort through her cart to pluck out another eggcup with her mouth and fling it in the direction of her new customer. “No no, no trouble!” she replied. “Well obviously some trouble, since it takes months to correctly imbue each eggcup with the correct magical formula, really the ten bits barely covers the manufacturing costs.” She smiled at the guard and the guard smiled gratefully back, his horn glowing, catching the eggcup in a ring of sparkling magic and placing it safely in his ceremonial side-saddle. “Ten bits,” she added again, just in case he didn’t take the hint, and soon an apologetic and flustered guard floated ten shiny coins towards Star Swirl. Star Swirl caught the coins with a swipe of her hooves and placed them in her ever-bulging money bag. “Well, we’d better get going!” she exclaimed, starting to heave her cart forwards again. The rough wooden wheels had got caught in the carpet pile somewhat, and there was a rather painful tearing noise as she got the cart moving again. “So uh… where are we going?” she eventually asked. The guard frowned. “Well, court of course!” He motioned to a large set of ornate doors that seemed to dominate the corridor that they were walking down. “Everyone’s expecting you!” Star Swirl’s face suddenly turned very very pale, and her legs begun to involuntarily tremble. Court? Was this all a trick? Was she being arrested? Her eyes opened wide in fear as she swung her head from side to side looking for a way to escape, but the guard was already pushing open the door, and several more guards had appeared as if from nowhere to flank her. She started to hyperventilate – it was a trap! Had her deception been uncovered, would she be sentenced to death as an earth pony spy? Or could the charges be related to another incident? As the guards moved in closer, her mind raced in an attempt to think back to her last dealing with unicorns. There was that deal with Midnight Shadow a month or so back – he was working on behalf of a business cartel of unicorns wasn’t he?” “I’m sorry!” she suddenly blurted out, clutching at her chest as she wheezed out in panic. “I didn’t know those self-inflating dolls were faulty and filled with an explosive gas! I only just found out, right now! I was just the middlemare, it was all Midnight’s fault, he should go to jail not me!” She threw her hooves in front of her face, cowering against her cart. Nothing happened. She slowly uncovered her eyes. The guards had stopped in front of her, staring impassively ahead. And then from the open court doors came a triumphant fanfare and the guards fell to their front hooves, bowing their heads. “Fillies and gentlecolts of Unicornia!” came a measured, loud voice from the doorway, tones sharp, precise and clipped. “Star Swirl the Bearded! Father of the amniomorphic spell! Defeater of the Antwerp dragon! Vanquisher of the plague-ghosts of Krull!" Star Swirl slowly turned around and faced the now open court doors. An impossibly large chamber faced her, full of a myriad of unicorns of all shapes and sizes who thronged at the edges, all staring at her. The centre of the room was completely empty, save for a red walkway that led all the way to a pair of mighty thrones upon one of which sat a distant figure. The speaker was an austere looking unicorn, clad in absolutely pristine robes, a trumpet magically hovering near her head. She took a breath and continued “…Slayer of the evil goat army! Protector of the royal bloodline! He craves an audience with King Caractacus!” Star Swirl looked back at the bowing guards behind her, and then back at the room full of the highest echelons of unicorn society. “I ah… I do...?” she mumbled out, gulping hard. The guards were still bowing; it might be possible to make a hasty escape. She swallowed down the fear. No, if the king himself wanted to give her the gold coin, she would let him. Perhaps he gave out all the rewards in Unicornia? This could be a completely normal occurrence, and after all, she didn’t want to draw too much attention to herself. The king would give her the gold and then she could make a quick exit. “Yes!” she shouted across the chamber. “Yes, I do!” Rolling her shoulders with a new-found confidence, she marched into the chamber. Passing through the doorway, the room was even bigger than she had expected – the walls were covered in even more incredible tapestries, and from the ceiling were hung hundreds of chandeliers of all shapes and sizes. And they were gold. There were plates of gold mounted on the wall, works of art inlaid with the precious metal. And there, in a far corner, was a golden couch upon which sat a young mare sitting on golden cushions. “It’s true…” she whispered, a small tear pricking at the corner of her eye. “It’s all true!” The trumpets played again as she strode down the long walkway towards the king, helping to drown out the awkward squeaking noise from the wheels of her rickety cart. Surrounded by such opulence, Star Swirl began to feel quite self-conscious in her fancy-dress robes. She could only guess how much the outfits of those watching her cost – more than she could earn in a year no doubt, she thought ruefully. There were unicorns in military uniforms, in dresses that had more frills that she thought possible, all of them watching her. And then they started to clap. It was slow at first, but then faster, the clapping of hundreds of hooves beginning to muffle the fanfare as Star Swirl approached the king. Beads of sweat pricked at her brow and her cart felt heavier than ever before. There was a strange, giddy feeling at every step closer that she took as the experience threatened to overwhelm her. To Star Swirl’s surprise, near the king’s throne were not just unicorns, but creatures of all types, the likes of which she had barely even heard of. There was a goat, glaring at her with narrowed eyes, a zebra, concealed in a tightly wrapped cloak. An earth pony dressed in the most ridiculously frilly robes imaginable with what looked like a cake on his head. There was a griffin and a two-legged bull and some sort of snake thing and… Star Swirl’s mouth dropped open and she almost stumbled on the carpet as her brain processed the sight. Nearest the steps that led to the thrones was a large glass cylinder, full to the brim with water and resting on a strange wooden contraption that featured a pair of large wheels and several pipes that led into the cylinder from which bursts of steam occasionally escaped. But it was what was in the glass tank that caught Star Swirl’s gaze – the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. A pastel pink pony, her features smooth and perfect, her mane decorated in shells and twirls of coral. Her front hooves were hooked over the top of the tank as she watched Star Swirl, but instead of back legs, her body ended in a large, glittering tail that swished idly back and forth. And she was wearing a crown. Star Swirl continued to gaze upon the sea pony as she walked, eyes taking in every feature of that flawless body. It was as if every broken foalhood dream had suddenly been given another chance; she wanted to race over to her, talk to her, perhaps ask for a swim… It was because of these rather distracting thoughts that she walked straight into the stairs that led to the throne. She backed up with a start, staring straight into face of the unicorn king. “Star Swirl!” the king roared, his bearded face breaking into a grin as if greeting an old and trusted friend. The king was huge, a massive, bulky framed red unicorn with a candy-striped mane that was expertly combed around his crown. It wasn’t that he was fat – he had certainly seen his share of good meals, but Star Swirl noticed a lot of muscle and power behind his size. There was an aura of joviality about him and a twinkle in his eyes, though Star Swirl didn’t particularly want to test how jovial he could be. “Uh… ah…” she suddenly felt her throat go dry. “Yes, that’s me sir! Your majesty!” She had never met royalty before. In fact the most important pony she had ever met in her life was the tax inspector, and she tried to avoid talking to him as much as possible. She gave a stiff bow, holding onto her fake horn for dear life as if it would traitorously leap off her head and reveal her as a fraud in front of all the gathered unicorns. “It is so good to see you!” the king bellowed, throwing his hooves forward as if in a hug, though Star Swirl elected not to leap into his embrace. It was probably for the best. The king gave a large, friendly smile. “We applaud your bravery in slaying the army of three thousand goat mercenaries that had been sent after my daughter.” The king started to stomp his hooves on the ground in appreciation, and soon the entire room followed suit, Star Swirl’s head spinning from the cacophony of noise. “Wait… daughter?” she croaked out in confusion, but her words were lost in the din. From the corner of her eye she saw the mare on the golden couch rise and trot up the steps to the other, empty throne. She was another beauty, clad in the most dazzling array of silks and jewels Star Swirl had ever seen. But her face was familiar. “Platinum?” she whispered. It was starting to make sense now, if she had saved the king’s daughter… “Indeed!” Platinum settled her haunches down on her comfortably cushioned throne and batted her eyelashes at Star Swirl. “If it had not been for the bravery of this wizard, I would surely be dead!” “What do you say to that, eh Sir Beardius!” The king’s gaze suddenly swung round towards the shifty-looking goat, and his eyes bulged in accusation. “Your murderous army foiled in its plot to kill my beloved daughter by this one mighty unicorn! Bet you feel silly now!” The goat stepped forwards towards the king, casting a sideway glare at Star Swirl. “I can assure you, your highness, that Goatlandia has not sanctioned any such action against your family. We are loyal friends of Unicornia!” “Aha!” the king boomed in triumph as if unravelling a particularly difficult puzzle. “That’s exactly the sort of thing you would say if you secretly tried to send your army after my daughter!” He stroked his beard, pleased with the logic of his statement. “Ambassador, tell your president that I expect additional tribute next month for this attempted atrocity!” The goat fell back into the crowd, his thin face now glowering with rage at Star Swirl. “Bah” he quietly bleated. King Caractacus settled back comfortably onto his throne again, a smug smirk breaking over his face, rolling his eyes towards the rest of the court in an exaggerated display of contempt. “Goats eh?” he thundered. “Always causing trouble!” He turned his attention to the Goatlandian ambassador again, who was twitching and glowering in an attempt to restrain his fury. “Can’t you be more like Puddingbrain and his earth ponies? He’s much too cowardly to ever lift a hoof against me!” The earth pony in the strange hat waved a hoof in the air. “A-actually it’s Puddinghead!” she squeaked out, but the king ignored her. “Now, Star Swirl!” He fixed Star Swirl with his large, brilliant eyes, and she found herself tensing up. This was it, the moment she had been waiting for! “We thank you from the bottom of our heart for saving our daughter. As such, please receive our greatest gift!” He held out his hoof. Star Swirl stared at it in confusion. It was empty. “Our undying gratitude!” There was silence in the court as all eyes turned to Star Swirl, waiting for the faux wizard to respond. Star Swirl just stood, eyes wide as she furrowed her brow, looking at the hoof. She took a step forward and peered at it from all angles. It was definitely empty. She slowly reached out her own forehoof to shake the king’s, heart heavy with disappointment. Then a piece of advice from her granddad floated unbidden to the top of her head. If you never ask, you never get. “And gold!” Star Swirl yelped out, slightly louder and higher-pitched than she was expecting. “Your gratitude and gold! I was promised a gold coin and…” she floundered as she felt shocked glares from all around the room on her shoulders. “…Not for myself you understand, I give all proceeds to poor disadvantaged ponies!” This was true, after a fashion. She did consider herself to be poor and disadvantaged. King Caractacus’s face was an unreadable mask as an uncomfortable silence descended upon the room. Then he threw back his head with a roaring laughter. “Oh of course!” he half-yelled in his deep tones. “The gold, I nearly forgot!” A servant stepped forwards, a large bulging bag telekinetically hovering in front of their face. “One gold coin though? It seems a trifle sum!” The sight of the bag was too much for Star Swirl. It had been a long, tiring day from her early morning start to the lengthy and hard journey to Unicornia. She had been thrust out of her comfort zone and into a situation which seemed completely out of her control. And now the king of the unicorns was talking about more gold? Less gold? She shook her head as she tried to remember what Platinum had even said to her the night before. Had she assumed she was getting a gold coin? Maybe she had been promised a bag of gold? And now, to top it all off, as these thought s were going round in her head, the king was saying something about a trifle. “I…” Star Swirl twitched, looking at the bag of gold. Was she being teased with the gold and given a dessert instead? Was this a final insult? Her confusion turned into annoyance and she slammed a hoof down in anger. “No! Look, I appreciate the offer and everything, but I did save your daughter’s life! Exploding goat heads is hard work! I like trifle as much as any pony, I mean there’s cream and sprinkles and jelly; me and trifle, we’ve had some good times together….” She shook her head, realising she was starting to ramble. “But I’m here for the gold not the trifle, so if it’s all the same to you I won’t have a trifle! “Finishing her speech, she started panting for air, staring up defiantly at the king and slowly realising she had gone a tiny bit too far. The king frowned slightly as he attempted to process Star Swirl’s words, and then once more bellowed out a laugh. “Quite right, quite right, saving the life of my only daughter is worth more than a trifling one bag of gold! You shall have two!” Star Swirl blinked in astonishment, shaking her head to clear the fog that had built up from tiredness. Her heart started to soar in joy. Two bags of gold! “…After I see some of your spectacular magic, of course!” the king continued. Star Swirl’s heart crashed and burned. Two bags of gold were now hovering in a magical aura beside the king, bulging at the seams with the precious metal. Every pony in the massive room was watching her expectantly, waiting for the legendary Star Swirl the Bearded to perform another feat of exceptional magic. The string that attached the false horn to her head suddenly started to itch hard and Star Swirl felt the sweat pricking on her forehead. She could easily turn away, refuse the reward and leave. But two bags of gold? That could set her up for life! Star Swirl’s face set in determination and she chewed on her bottom lip. The expectant silence was beginning to make her feel uncomfortable, as every second passed it became harder and harder to say no. She came to a decision. “Of course!” Star Swirl turned to her cart and fished out three coconut shell halves, placing them in front of the king. Underneath one, she placed a stone. “Your majesty, watch the shell with the stone!” She started to move the halves around at a slow and steady speed, as the king’s eyes followed the motions. If the unicorns were already convinced she had magical powers, she reasoned, surely a small ‘magical’ demonstration would suffice, and this trick had never failed to impress in the past. It was worth the risk for gold! She stopped moving the shells, and raised her hooves dramatically. “Now, which shell is the stone under?” King Caractacus looked at Star Swirl, then down at the shells in perplexment. “Well, it’s that one of course!” he muttered, pointing at the middle shell. Star Swirl smiled, and dramatically lifted the shell. There was nothing underneath. “No your majesty! But maybe you are mistaken?” She then flipped over the other two shells. They were empty as well. “Perhaps it has vanished! Or perhaps…” She slowly reached forwards to the king’s bushy beard, and from its depths extracted the stone. “Or perhaps it was here all along! Gaze upon the wondrous mystery!” She gave a flourish and a bow, waiting for the applause. Silence. There was a smattering of hoof-claps, but they soon died down after a rough cough from the king. He frowned down at Star Swirl, and she knew that this time, he wasn’t about to burst out in laughter. “Well… you just teleported it to my beard, didn’t you?” he exclaimed, an eyebrow raised. “I mean your control of magic is excellent, very subtle….” he harrumphed “… though obviously I could see your magical aura at work, I am the king after all!” “Well, ah…” Star Swirl turned from side to side, seeing the watchful eyes of the court all around her. Even Platinum seemed to be looking at her with some degree of disenchantment. She tugged on the neck of her robe in an attempt to give her some more air. “I didn’t want to overwhelm you, your majesty…” She gave a grovelling bow, starting to tremble slightly. The king just shook his head. “Really Star Swirl, I expected something a bit more exciting than this! Very disappointed.” He cast his gaze about the room and settled on the Goatlantian ambassador, pointing at him with his hoof. “There, go explode Sir Beardius’s head! Sir Beardius come over here.” Beardius started to shrink back into the group of ambassadors, shaking his head, his mouth flapping up and down in mute panic. The king frowned and motioned to a pair of guards. “Don’t worry Beardius!” he soothed. “We can always send for another Goatlandian ambassador, it’s no trouble!” As the guards moved in to pull Beardius before the king for some head-exploding action, Star Swirl realised she needed to act. Failure to burst the goat’s head in a spectacular display of magic might result in her own head being exploded, via less magical and more bludgeony means. “My king!” she announced. “Of course I would love to explode the head of another goat, but…” she searched for the right words. “But it is very messy; I wouldn’t want your carpet to be permanently stained!” King Caractacus considered this, stroking his beard thoughtfully, and then motioned for the guards to stand down, dropping a gibbering Beardius to the ground. “Yes yes, quite right that chap! I would like to see something impressive though.” His face brightened up. “Yes, what about that amniomorphic spell you created! I’d like to see that, I’ve not seen an amniomorphic spell in a while!” He quickly leant over the side of his throne towards a group of wizened unicorns in wizard robes who up until this point had been watching the events impassively. “Quick, Greybeard, what’s an amniomorphic spell?” “Oh, it’s…” the lead unicorn scratched his long grey beard, and dived towards his peers. Star Swirl could hear a frenzied exchange within the group. “…Lamb?” offered one voice. “A bowl?” “…sounds made up!” “Transformation?” The words soon became indistinct in a babble of frantic whispering. In fact it wasn’t made up; Star Swirl vividly remembered reading it as the ‘word of the day’ on the back of a box of cereal and had thought it sounded sufficiently exciting, though she couldn’t remember the meaning. There were other good words too. Defenestration. She’d find a way to use that one day… Finally the wizard known as Greybeard broke away from the group and turned back to the king, taking off his pointed hat respectfully and holding it in front of his body like a shield. “I… that is to say we….” he started to stammer out. “We don’t know, your majesty. Sorry.” “What?” the king roared, his red face somehow becoming redder. The entire room jumped with a start at the sudden burst of anger. “Really Greybeard, it’s the job of my advisors to know everything about magic, I pay you enough! I even heard one of the guards talking about Star Swirl’s amniomorphic spell this morning, so it can’t be bottle-rocket science!” As Greybeard quivered under the king’s wrathful gaze, Star Swirl decided to take back control. “Your majesty!” she announced loudly. “The secret of the amniomorphic spell is known only to me, if a guard had heard of my coming, of course he would be discussing it, but he could not know of its mysteries!” Star Swirl feigned a sad sigh. “Alas, I cannot show you its power, for it is a dangerous spell which can only be used in the most dire of circumstances. However, I will endeavour to put on the greatest magic show for you that this kingdom has ever seen. I just need time to prepare, and…” she coughed. “I gain additional magical power from holding gold; my show would be more spectacular if I was able to charge my abilities using the bags.” The king gave a final glare at Greybeard, and then nodded, seemingly happy with these arrangements. “Yes, that sounds right…” he pondered, as his horn glowed with a magical aura and the two heavy bags of gold floated over to an eager Star Swirl who snatched them from the air with quivering hooves. “Thank you thank you thank you!” Star Swirl was trembling as she felt the weight of the bags. In one moment she had earned more gold than she ever thought possible. Now all she had to do was make a quick escape. “Now my liege, I was thinking… ten days to prepare a magical feast of splendour?” “Hrm.” The king tilted his head to the side as he deliberated on this. “No, how about ten minutes, I’m feeling in desperate need of entertainment and Puddingbrain has a note from her mum saying she’s not allowed to dance on hot coals for me anymore.” “Ten minutes?” Star Swirl’s eyes widened in horror as she quickly fastened the moneybags to a harness fixed under her cloak. That wasn’t much time for a head start, in this unfamiliar city she’d be hard pressed to flee to safety so quickly. “No problem! I just need to head to the loo…” She started to trot away nervously, leaving her cart before the throne as evidence that of course she would return. “Won’t be a tick!” The king was all smiles again. “No, of course not! Tell you what! Guards, show Star Swirl to the bathroom!” To Star Swirl’s horror, a detachment of half a dozen bulky stallions in heavy armour broke away from beside the throne and surrounded her. This, she considered, was not going to end well.