Chapter 10
The sun was still lazing its way over the horizon when Doctor Whooves and I got back to the shop after a rough half-hour of walking. I hadn't gotten much sleep, and if it wasn't for Whooves' head against my shoulder silently urging me along the whole way, I might've collapsed in the middle of the road again. So, as soon as we got back to the shop, after a quick stop in the bathroom, I was face-down on my mattress, sleeping like a newborn. I didn't even discuss house rules with Whooves; my brain had been running on empty at that point. I just had to hope that whatever he did in my mind's absence wasn't too catastrophic. Whooves isn't usually one to mess things up and be a douche, but if I've learned anything from stories of any kind, if you get a new roommate, that roommate will always do something to cause a fiasco. But really, it isn't like I don't know him — I employed him, for Celestia's sake! He knows this place inside and out; he couldn't do anything that bad, right? Besides, he only had about six hours or so before I was up again. He couldn't do anything that bad in that amount of time, right?
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I slowly opened my eyes, finally feeling refreshed after the rough night I'd had. I sat up in bed and blinked a few times, trying to clear my mind and get ready for the day ahead. As I did so, I lazily looked around the room, until my eyes happened to wander to my mini-fridge. At that, my eyes popped wide open, my roommate fears now at the forefront of my mind. What's the first thing a new roommate does? He becomes a voracious beast, his stomach doubling thrice over, his hooves now fitted with a set of razor sharp claws that will tear into any beer can tab, saran-wrapped sandwich, or raw Pop Tart. After what seems like mere seconds, the innocent fridge has been gutted from the inside, with even that putrid green mold at the back now part of a bygone era. And soon after, the full scale of the damage the Roommatus douchebagus has caused will be revealed, as the owner of said fridge realizes he also needs food to survive, and thus soon finds his wallet similarly empty.
After constructing that horrifying tale in my mind (which would probably make a pretty good picture book), I bolted straight out of bed and ripped the fridge door open, the hinges shrieking as the door hit the back of its swing. But luckily, my fears had been unfounded; by the looks of things, it seemed the Doctor only had a light breakfast. Still, there wasn't much left in there: three beer cans, half a loaf of bread, some bulk packaged dandelions, and what looked like the remainder of that curry I got three weeks ago. Ignoring that mess, I quickly cobbled together my breakfast of a dandelion sandwich with a beer on the side. I sighed; bachelor chow was tolerable while I was alone, but it was completely inexcusable with a house guest. I glanced at the clock to see if I could make a quick run to the convenience store, and I was shocked when I saw that it was almost time to open my own store. Not wanting to be late, I quickly scarfed down my sandwich and chugged my beer can, which turned out to be a terrible idea. Holding my head with one hoof, I began my walk down the stairs, feeling like a foal who'd just had way too much ice cream.
Just before I reached the bottom of the stairs, though, I heard a strange sound. I stopped a few steps short of the bottom, still unable to see much into the room, and turned my head to one side, attempting to pick it up again. I furrowed my brow as I heard the noise again. Is that... moaning? And that strange slapping sound... what is that? Hell, it kinda sounds like one of the porn fli—
I gagged, instinctively backing away from the disgusting noises. "Ugh, Whooves!" I yelled as I covered my eyes. Luckily, I hadn't seen anything... yet.
The slapping noise almost immediately stopped, and a loud crash came from the direction of the counter, followed by a click as the moaning ceased. The voice of an ashamed Doctor Whooves followed. "Uh, you didn't hear anything, Sly! That was the sound of, uh, your refrigerator running! You better go catch it! Ha ha, ha..."
I shook my head as his awkward laughter trailed off. I put a condescending vibe on my reply as I completed my descent. "Don't do that when I'm around, Whooves... I hope that DVD wasn't for sale..."
"What do you mean, DVD? There was no DVD! But uh, if there was, it certainly wasn't on sale," said Whooves, a blush across his face. The chair lay on its side beside him, probably a victim of his race to shut off the "material". His back legs were bent awkwardly, successfully hiding his offending body part. "If anything, it would be one of the movies in our collection." he continued.
I shook my head, disappointed, and sighed. "You mean the store's collection, Whooves. You aren't an employee here anymore. Now, I was willing to give you the all rights Lyra and I have, but I'm not sure if I should, anymore."
Whooves latched onto the first tangent that could get him out of this conversation. "Lyra? Is that the new employee?"
I groaned. "Yes, yes, she's great, now—"
"Oh yeah, that's right, you hired a mare!" interrupted Whooves, still trying desperately to get off the previous topic. "I saw her behind the counter when I swung by; she sure has a smoking hot bod, eh? And you're the lucky stallion she's working for, am I right? So, how is she?"
A blush formed on my cheeks. Well, yeah, she certainly is a pretty nice looking mare; with those legs, and that — I vigorously shook my head, trying to get those thoughts out of my mind. They were pretty awesome thoughts at other times, but I had to get back on topic here! I quickly opened my mouth, ready to blurt out a brief description, when I heard a light rapping on the shop's door. I turned, and saw Lyra's slightly annoyed face at the door. "Well, you can ask her yourself," I said to Whooves angrily, my temper getting the better of me.
I strutted over to the counter and opened the drawer, maneuvering my body so I could be as far away from Whooves as possible. I didn't really feel like talking to Whooves anymore, and with my position, it made me less likely to see any parts of him I didn't want to. And then, as I did every morning, I grabbed the key in my mouth and walked over to the door, though this time, my marefriend stood behind it, prompting me to work a little bit faster at opening it than usual.
The door opened with a click, and Lyra trotted in, the scowl that had been on her face now replaced by a smile. "Hey Sly!" she chirped. She noticed Whooves standing behind the counter and her eyebrow went up. "Who's this?"
I sighed. Having Whooves back was...well, not really nice at the moment, but everyone's a dumbass sometimes. With someone else in the shop, though, Lyra and I would have to go somewhere else to... further our relationship. That's kind of shallow, but as I looked over her face, I couldn't think of anything but the opportunities we'd just lost.
I then realized that I had been staring into space for a few moments after my sigh, Lyra still patiently waiting for my answer. I cleared my head, and my throat along with it. "Lyra, I'm pleased to introduce Doctor Whooves, who was my employee before you. He's fallen on some hard times as of late, and I've offered to let him to stay with me upstairs until he can find somewhere else to live. At the moment, his only option is his mom's basement, and that's not much of an option. I hope we'll all be able to get along."
Lyra looked back and forth between Whooves and me, her eyes softening in sympathy as she turned back to Whooves. "Aw, you poor guy," she said with a comforting smile on her face. "Well, any friend of Sly's is a friend of mine. Welcome back to the store!"
Whooves smiled warmly, trying to start off on the right hoof. "Well, thank you for your hospitality, and sorry this is such short notice. Sly only just decided it right after we got out of jail—"
The Doctor's eyes widened, and he clamped a hoof over his mouth, vainly trying to silence what had already been said. I couldn't resist the urge to facehoof, closing my eyes as I did so. When I opened them again only a moment later, Lyra's sympathetic expression had been replaced by one of absolute terror, her pupils small and beady in saucer-sized eyes. She turned her head towards me like a sputtering wind-up toy, her jagged movements freaking me out a little. She hyperventilated for a moment before finally finding her voice.
"J-j-j-jail!" she stammered out. "Sly, what did you do last night? I thought you just went home after we said goodnight..."
A tear rolled down Lyra's cheek. "No, no, Lyra!" I said frantically as I waved my hooves in front of my face, thinking that that'd somehow make this sound more truthful. "I didn't do anything wrong!"
Water had begun to well up in Lyra's eyes, but she refused to let any more tears flow. Wiping her eyes with a hoof, she began again, her voice giving away that she was one bad thought away from bawling her eyes out. "But then why were you in jail, Sly? Only bad ponies are supposed to go to jail...I thought you promised to stop being one after we started going out. You got me flowers every day, you made sure not to drink so much as to get hammered, and I've noticed that you've even stopped smoking...was that all a lie? Are you really just like any other pony who owns a store on this blasted street? Ruthless and uncaring...I bet you were in a back alley with some other mare, snogging like there's no tomorrow. Or maybe you were just making sure your other friends were banned from a certain coffee shop? I thought our relationship meant something, Sly!"
I backed away from Lyra, each one of her words, sad or accusatory, stinging like a thousand hornets. I wanted to get a word in, but I found myself unable to; her accusations had rocked me to the core. I only snapped out of my paralysis when I heard an insistent rapping on the front door.
Turning my head towards the sound, I raised my eyebrows at the pony who was standing behind the door, and I could only imagine Lyra did the same. I shook my head as I wandered over to the shop entrance. It surprised me that even she was interested in my wares. Brushing Lyra's words aside for a moment, I opened the door.
A blast of confetti sprayed into my face, partly obscuring my vision of the pink party pony that I assumed it had come from. A basket full of envelopes was strapped to her head, and her normal smile had been replaced by an even wider grin. She cleared her throat, and began to sing:
Iiiiiiiiiii hope you're doing well, Sly Clop
But wait, is that a frown?
Well, I've got something that will turn it upside down!
You see, a little bird flew by me and told me you'd been in jail!
Oh, that really made my happy mood derail!
But then I had a great idea, it will be lots of fun!
Remember, every day's a new day with the rising of the sun!
Your serving time is over, I know that much is true!
So my Pinkie Sense is telling me that you shouldn't be blue!
It is time for a party, it will be for the ages!
And when this party's over, then you will be all the rages!
It's a "Sly Got Out Of Jail" party, and everypony'll come!
So turn around that smile, cause it's no time to be glum!
The party's on tonight, and it'll start at six o'clock!
It is at Sugarcube Corner, which is just around the block!
I know you'll have an awesome time, and I do think you should go!
So please tell me your answer, Sly, and I hope it isn't no!
Pinkie Pie sank to the ground panting as she finished the song. Pinkie Pie has almost boundless energy, but she'd been dancing circles around me the entire time, and I guess that made even her tired. As for the answer she'd asked from me, I found myself physically unable to give one. It isn't everyday that someone sings you a song.
Pinkie was now sprawled out across the cobblestones, trying to catch her breath."So...what's your...answer?"
I shook my head clear of errant thoughts, putting the question of whether I'd really be all the "rages" on the back burner. Improper use of grammar or not, Pinkie Pie deserved a legitimate answer. Unsure of what it should be, though, I turned back to Lyra to see what she thought of it. Unfortunately, she wasn't much help, as she was still in that state that I imagine I had been in only a moment ago: eyes wide, mouth slightly open in surprise, trying in vain to process the sudden, jarring and mood-changing situation the pony standing before us had brought. Doctor Whooves wasn't much help either; his expression made Lyra and him almost look like twins, if it weren't for the everything else.
I turned back to Pinkie Pie, who had now caught her breath and was looking up at me. Her eyes were like a puppy's, innocent and round and unblinking. She had also curled her mouth into a slight pout, completing the look that everyone knows nopony can resist.
I sighed. "Sure, sure, I'll come..."
With an audible pop, Pinkie's expression changed back to normal, her smile now having rightfully reappeared. She shot up to a standing position like a rocket.
"Okie dokie lokie! Lyra, Doctor Whooves — you guys are coming too, right?" she said gleefully to the two ponies behind me.
I glanced backward, and I was not surprised when I saw Lyra and Doctor Whooves silently nod, a blank expression still on their faces. You really couldn't say no to Pinkie Pie, especially in the shocked state she'd just put us all in.
The pink party pony then turned and began merrily hopping back down the street in the direction of Sugarcube Corner. "Remember, six o'clock!" she called back to us before going around the corner and disappearing from view.
I blinked a few times, wondering what had just happened. After a few moments of deliberation, though, I sighed. There was no use trying to figure out Pinkie Pie. I walked back into the shop, closing the door behind me.
I turned to face my employees, former and hopefully-not-soon-to-be-former. They had gathered themselves a little more now, but both still had a faraway look in their eyes. I rubbed the back of my head with a hoof, not really knowing what to say.
"Uh..." I said uncertainly, "I guess we'll be closing early tonight?" Normally, I wouldn't have phrased that as a question, since I control the store's hours and all, but I was still trying to convince myself that tonight there was going to be a party celebrating the fact that I got out of jail, which I was only in for about five hours in the first place. Pinkie Pie was probably just looking for an excuse to have another one of her trademark parties, and I maybe should be a little insulted that my jail time was the perfect one.
Now that I thought about it, I wondered how Pinkie Pie knew that I had been in jail for something that wasn't such a big deal, because she probably wouldn't be throwing a party if I got out of jail after driving a carriage drunk, or something. How accurate was that "little bird" she had sung about? Was it one of those "Pinkie Sense" things Twilight had mentioned something about, or did she actually have inside info? Would she tell everypony why I was in jail in the first place? That would be embarrassing...I mean, everypony's probably driven drunk at some point in their lives, but not everypony has gotten so ecstatic at being kissed that they just shouted random things into the sky. You'd think I was in a drama production, or something. But at the time, it just felt so right to yell Lyra's name to the heavens. Speaking of Lyra, I wondered if she was on the same tangent as I was—
"Sly," Lyra said clearly, interrupting my train of thought. Her expression, straight-faced with confident eyes, looked like it was ready to handle anything. "Tell me. Why were you in jail?"
I sighed. Forget random strangers, Lyra hearing this was the height of embarrassment. I couldn't just refuse to tell her, though, or else she'd think I really had done all those horrible things she said about me.
I cleared my throat and raised my head to look deep into her eyes. I spoke with conviction. "You're beautiful."
Lyra took a step back, not expecting that at all. A small blush crept onto her cheeks. That was a good opening line, but now I had to construct a follow-up statement. I began to twiddle my hooves around, trying to figure out the best one, but nothing was immediately coming to mind. I probably should've thought that one through more, but I'd gotten myself into this mess, and now I had to get out of it. Letting Lyra speak for me wouldn't help at all here; if I let her, Lyra would probably ask if what I'm trying to say is that I love her, but that I made a "mistake" last night. And that really was not what I wanted her to think at all. Just then, though, I realized the blush on Lyra's cheeks was fading, and my time was up. I only had moments to get something out before she accused me again.
Hastily, I began again. "I love you, and what happened last night was entirely your fault."
Lyra reeled back, shocked at what I'd said. A moment too late, I realized that wasn't what I wanted to say at all. I facehoofed, sighing before lowering my head. "Okay, I'll try that again. You're beautiful, Lyra. And amazing for going out with me when so many other mares have turned me away. I haven't had a marefriend for six years now, and my last one broke up with me for exactly the same reason that each and every one before her did: they discovered that I owned and lived in a porn shop. After that last incident, I kind of gave up on ever finding someone, just like my pops did. And then when he died soon after that breakup, on top of me not having any hope of finding love again, I didn't have any time to do so anyways, what with the responsibilities of running the shop transferring over to me, and all. In those dark times, I thought the only place I'd ever be with another mare again was in the back room at the Knife and Apple. Things got a little bit better with each passing year, what with time healing all wounds and all that, but until just this month, I could never dream of asking a mare out again."
Confidence was coming back to me with every word I spoke. Proudly, I raised my head, looking Lyra in the eye again as I continued. "But then, along came Lyra. As soon as you spoke that simple request for employment, I was astounded that you wanted to associate and even work with me, even after that stupid joke I'd just said. I only said that line in the first place because I thought you were a customer, or at least were going to be one until you caught me screaming my head off at the TV, and I might as well make the best of the situation. But your tenacity allowed me to get to know you better, and I'm sure glad it did. Y'know, it's nice starting a relationship off with both parties having full knowledge of my workplace. Much nicer than the nervous shuffling after the eventual 'where do you work?' question, and the fear that one day I might accidentally let something slip out.
"But, I'm getting off-topic. Lyra, I went to jail because of my love for you. I think it was wrong I went there in the first place. But the truth still remains that after you kissed me and I was left standing breathless in the middle of the street, I began yelling...'obscenities' into the sky, not able to contain myself at the joy I was feeling from receiving a loving kiss after I had gone without one for so long. It was simply too much for me to handle. In fact, after I shouted about four or five swear words at the top of my lungs, I promptly fainted. I woke up a couple of hours later to find six pairs of handcuffs on my front and back legs combined, all applied by a pair of idiot cops who thought abusing some random lovebird on the street was the height of comedy. I was being charged with disturbing the peace, and they were going to take me to jail, but not before hitting me over the side of my head with a nightstick. I could go into more detail, but I think you only have to look at the wounds they inflicted on me to confirm my story."
I presented one of my front legs to Lyra, and after a moment of squinting at it, her eyes widened, and she gasped. As I had hoped, the rings of tender flesh under my coat had not disappeared overnight. I then directed Lyra's attention to my face, showing her the bruise just below my left ear where Midnight had bludgeoned me with the baton. To get a better look at it, Lyra leaned in close to my face, inadvertently putting her muzzle only a few inches away from mine. After a few seconds of this uncomfortable proximity, Lyra, who had apparently been holding her breath the entire time, exhaled onto my cheek, prompting me to flinch a little bit. With a quick glance away from my wound, Lyra suddenly realized how much she was invading my personal bubble, and she quickly jumped back, a hint of a blush now apparent on her cheeks. She gave me an awkward smile and began twiddling her hooves around, which reminded me of myself right after a mare dropped that dreaded "work" question on me, but before I answered. Usually, after I answered, I'd just look disappointed in myself, but unlike me in the past, Lyra's expression changed into one of a pony with a guilty conscience, as her eyes quickly became fixed on the space of air up and to the right of her. A nervous little smile formed at the corner of her mouth.
Lyra put one hoof behind her head, nervously scratching her mane. "Um...I guess I owe you an apology, Sly. For all those nasty things I said before Pinkie came in. Y'gotta believe me, it was just I was so shocked that somepony I knew nothing about was going to stay with us—I mean, you—ugh."
Lyra facehoofed, but I just smiled, happy to see that Lyra was now thinking of her and me as an "us". Lyra shook her head, disappointed at her little slip-up, before continuing. "Well, I guess what I'm trying to say, Sly, is that I'm really sorry for those hurtful things I said back there, and I didn't mean any of it. Will you ever forgive me?"
I sighed happily, and gave Lyra a warm smile. "Already done."
Lyra smiled back. Tears began to form in her eyes, but she quickly brushed them away with a hoof. As she revealed her eyes again, I was once again stuck by their brilliance, how their golden hue shone on everything they touched, like the sun itself. Wordlessly, we decided that now was a good time to seal our feelings with a kiss, each of us closing our eyes and leaning our muzzles in, our lips meeting in the middle in a short, passionate embrace. All we needed was a setting sun for this to look like something right out of a movie.
As we came out of our kiss, I cracked one eye open, and saw a very awkward-looking Doctor Whooves trying desperately to look anywhere besides us, as he whistled tunelessly. Betraying his intentions, one eye darted towards Lyra and me, and a sigh escaped him when he saw that we were no longer kissing. Realizing that there was no reason to continue his awkward display (though he was overdoing it in the first place), his whistling slowly petered out, and his gaze slowly turned back to me. For a moment, he just stared at me nervously, and I imagine I was doing the same.
Gradually, he regained his ability to speak. "Uh...I guess it's Lyra's shift now, right?"
That finally broke the ice, and a torrent of sentences rushed out of Lyra's and my mouths, apologizing for our kiss and momentarily forgetting that he existed, and how that yes, it was Lyra's shift, and hey, look at the time, I must really be going now. I blurted that last sentence as I walked out of the front door, just trying to get away from any more awkward moments that might follow.
I started walking away from the store, inhaling to allow the hot and humid air to clean my sinuses as best as it could. My walking was not aimless, though. I still hadn't made my daily trip to the flower store, and I certainly wasn't planning to let anything wilt around Lyra today.
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After I returned from the florist, a bouquet of red roses grasped in my teeth (romantic, no?), the day went on as normally as it could have. I didn't really want to spend a second away from Lyra, but at the same time, I didn't want to leave the Doctor alone in my room for too long, for fear of a repeat of the episode earlier in the day. As a compromise, I spent the first part of the day behind the counter with Lyra, forcing myself to make small talk as Doctor Whooves wandered aimlessly around the store, nervously trying not to look at any particular DVD for too long, as if his mother was watching his every move. I would've loved to mash into Lyra's face again, but I didn't want a gagging Doctor on my hooves, on top of the fact that if a customer walked in while we were snogging, it'd be even more awkward than one of my shouting matches with the TV. Against my will, though, I sometimes found myself just gazing into Lyra's brilliant golden eyes, and her gazing back into mine. I had to snap myself out of it many times, and eventually, Lyra and I agreed that it was best for the store and for the sanity of my houseguest if I just went upstairs with him while Lyra waited out the remainder of her shift alone. We'd see plenty of each other at Pinkie Pie's party, anyways.
Once upstairs, some of the most boring hours of my life commenced, each of us trying to think of some activity to entertain ourselves with, and neither of us succeeding. We held many rounds of "'Whadayoo wanna do?' — 'Ahdunno, whadayoo wanna do?'" before we settled on opening my closet and seeing what relic of ages gone by we could dust off and have some fun with. After sifting through a bunch of my dad's old porno mags that I never bothered to throw out, we finally came across a copy of Monopoly that I remembered somepony gave me on my seventh birthday, but I never actually played it, since my dad said Monopoly was "for pussies", and as you can imagine, no colts or fillies my age wanted to hang out at my house. I pushed my troubled past to the back of my mind, though, as I finally took the saran wrap off, tossing a cloud of decades-old dust into the air. After a quick survey of the instructions, which we both agreed were way too complicated, and a choosing of playing pieces, we started the game.
The Doctor, happy that he finally had something to do, was actually enthusiastic as he rolled the two dice for the first time, and his excitement grew exponentially when he saw two sixes come up, which sprang his playing piece almost halfway across the board, giving him early control of the very intimidating Equestrian Lighting Corporation. After another nice roll of seven, which nailed him the expensive Manehattan Avenue, I got to roll the dice for the first time, though my first roll was much less enthusiastic than his, as while the Doctor was just relieved to find something to do, I was saddened that my time with Lyra would have to wait for another few hours. The dice reflected my overall mood, limping into a roll of a three and a one, which only got me an order from Canterlot to pay my taxes. Our first turns set the mood for the rest of our game, with the Doctor trouncing me at every ninety-degree turn, our pieces aimlessly circling the board. Luckily for me, though, right before the game turned into "how long can Sly's pitiful existence last before he succumbs to the might of the megalomaniac", an angelic voice chimed up from the shop.
"Guy-yyyyyys! It's six-o'clo-ooooock!" Lyra sing-songed to us.
"Finally!" I shouted back as I quickly rose to my hooves. As I did so, I inadvertently knocked the board over, spilling all of the Doctor's hard-earned hotels on him. His eyes widened in shock at seeing his great empire vanish within seconds, and I couldn't help but feel a hint of schadenfreude as he gasped.
The feeling quickly passed, though, when I saw him pout his lip and solemnly look down at his destroyed plastic empire, each building stained red in his mind not with paint, but with the blood of his fallen tenants. "Aww! I was just about to win!" he whined.
I suddenly felt like a dick for being happy that I destroyed my friend's dreams. No grown stallion should ever whine like a foal. Before I had a chance to apologize, though, Lyra came trotting up the stairs, her saddlebags at her side and her brow furrowed.
Her angelic voice once again graced my ears as she swiveled her head around, looking for the disaster. "Are you guys alright? I heard a crashing sound."
My expression brightened, the plight of my houseguest forgotten when I saw the shapely features of my love again. "No, no, everything's fine!" I said hurriedly. "Let's go! We don't wanna be late!"
As I got up, Lyra turned back towards the staircase, and I innocently pushed my head against her flank, urging her to go faster. She laughed. "Okay, okay, Sly, we're going! Geez, it's your party, it's not like it could start without you."
Those words were enough to tame me for a moment, my head rising off of her backside, which I then noticed really was quite shapely. I blushed, a warm feeling arising in places other than my face as I awkwardly and eagerly followed her down the stairs and out the door, locking it behind me as we continued our trot down the street.
After about a block though, I heard the shop's door open again, and I was hit by a pang of guilt when I realized that once again, I had forgotten the existence of my friend.
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Due to the store's proximity to Sugarcube Corner, we arrived only a few minutes late. I didn't go to Sugarcube Corner very frequently, but once you see it, it's very hard to forget. It looks very much like the witch's house in that one old mare's tale, except instead of luring foals inside to eat them, the store's cheery owners, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, just entice foals into buying their treats so they can turn a profit. A much more noble endeavor, if I do say so myself, though I bet some of those new health food types think that's just as bad. The few times I have wandered into the store, though, it seems like that simple quest is always being thwarted by their employee/daughter/sister/friend/tenant Pinkie Pie, who when not making a mess of the kitchen, dumps entire bags of flour onto herself, just to bring a smile to the Cakes' two growing foals, Pound and Pumpkin Cake. I do have to admit though, the pink profit plague does bake some mean cupcakes, and that's probably the only reason why she's still employed here. Maybe her profits-to-loss ratio actually does tip in favour of the store in the end. As we walked up to the pink doorway, some of that delectable aroma wafted up into my nostrils, making me wonder why I don't swing by this place more often.
My mouth now salivating at the thought of all the pastries the party had in store for me, I butted in front of Lyra, my hoof reaching up to the door and quickly opening it. For a moment though, I was surprised to see, or rather not see, anything. Only an inky blackness greeted me from beyond the doorway, and I froze in place, wondering how I mistook a black hole for Sugarcube Corner. My questions were quickly answered when, with a click, light suddenly flooded the building, temporarily blinding me and making me back up right into Lyra, who almost fell right over. After I blinked a few times, though, I regained my sight, and saw many a pony who arrived here before us, their faces now fully illuminated. I recognized Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy, who were all giving me friendly smiles, but everyone else in the crowd I didn't recognize at all, and it was clear that they didn't recognize me either, what with their nervous glances at me, some even wondering aloud whether they knew the guest of honour or not.
Among the crowd of ponies, I could see a few tables lined with many confectioneries, each one looking more delectable than the last. A banner was hung above everypony's heads, and I smiled nervously when I saw what it read: Happy Bailing from Jailing, Sly Clop! Before I had time to comprehend how many ponies I would have to explain that situation to over the night, my attention was called to the large white cake in the centre of the room when what could only barely be recognized as a pony burst out of it, her pink fur covered in frosting as it was. She looked like she could barely contain her happiness that her guest of honour had finally arrived.
With a smile that would put a jack-o-lantern to shame, she enthusiastically trilled a single word: "Surprise!"
I awkwardly smiled at her display, thinking of the last mare that jumped out of a cake for me. Doctor Whooves had gone really overboard for my birthday celebrations that year. Unlike the last mare, though, Pinkie Pie jumped a few feet in the air out of the large confectionery, doing a few backflips in the air before landing right in front of me, bits of icing now dotting my mane from her acrobatics.
Pinkie Pie giggled, and started speaking to me at a mile-a-minute. "Oh Sly, you're supposed to eat icing, not put it in your hair! Believe me, I've tried it before, and icing's not an effective shampoo. Now I wash my hair with shampoo that smells just like icing on cupcakes when they first come out of the oven, but it's not the same when you can't eat it while you're rinsing your hair out. Anyways, I'm really glad you came, because a 'Sly Got out of Jail' party is nothing without a Sly! Though really, it's nothing without you, as I don't think it'd really be the same with Sly Stone, or Sly Cooper, or Sylvester Stallione, who isn't really named Sly, it's just that everypony calls him that. Speaking of him, I hear his new movie is going to be—"
"Pinkie!" I yelled, louder than I intended to. Her motormouth had gotten more on my nerves than I thought, it seemed. I quickly tried to correct my mistake though, worried that the pony in front of me would burst into tears. "Uh, sorry. It's just that you were kinda going on—" I stopped myself before I said anything more, afraid that I'd make the situation even worse.
For the first time since I yelled, I dared a glance at Pinkie Pie's expression, and was surprised when I saw not a pony on the verge of crying, but one that looked frozen in time. Her mouth was in a little "o" shape on one side of her face, and her eyes were wide open. Perplexed, I waved a hoof in front of her face, wondering if I broke her. Luckily, though, my worst fears did not come true; she snapped back into her perpetual cheery smile after my hoof's second pass-over.
It seemed like she'd gotten my message. "Okie dokie lokie, I'll leave you alone, guest of honour!" she said cheerily before hopping away to mingle with other ponies. I sighed, happy that I hadn't made anypony cry.
"Hey, Sly!" yelled a familiar, raspy voice. I turned my head and saw Rainbow Dash approaching me, a confident smile on her face as her marefriend Fluttershy followed closely behind. In contrast to her date, Fluttershy looked very nervous, and well, shy, hiding behind her mane that draped in front of her face as usual, the black dye that had been there a couple of nights ago now absent from it. I became worried when I noticed that Fluttershy was also dragging her hooves a little bit, once again in stark contrast to Rainbow, who was practically strutting.
I brushed off those worries, though, thinking Fluttershy was just being a bit more apprehensive than normal. Putting a smile on my face, I greeted them both. "Hey, you two! What's up?"
"Ooh," said Rainbow Dash, her gaze now firmly to the left of me. "Looks like you brought your marefriend with you this time, eh?"
I turned my head, and saw that Lyra had come up right beside me, her little grin giving off a hint of smugness. Her eyelids were at half-mast, as well, making her look even more like the sexy beast she was. "He certainly did," said Lyra, putting on a husky tone, probably only in jest, but it was still making my heart beat a mile a minute. I could only respond to her with a sheepish grin, making me look even less worthy of the beautiful mare beside me.
It seemed Rainbow Dash had failed to pick up any of the undertones, though, as her oblivious grin had remained unchanged. After a few moments of silence, though, Rainbow became aware that she was the centre of attention again, making her puff her chest out and raise her head above the likes of us commoners.
"Well, I brought a date to this party, too. You've already met her, Sly, but still, allow me to introduce to you" — Rainbow Dash quickly sidestepped, revealing a nervous yellow pegasus, who just until a few moments ago had been hiding behind RD's posterior — "Fluttershy!"
At realizing her hiding place had been found out, Fluttershy made a noise not unlike that of a small rodent, hiding her head behind one hoof in a way that you couldn't not find positively adorable.
Not having been exposed to a grown pony exuding this level of cuteness before, Lyra's eyes widened with glee, her childlike smile taking her back to a more innocent time. "D'aww, isn't da liddle thing da cutest?"
Since that's never really something a full grown mare ever wants to hear, it was understandable when Fluttershy sank even further into herself, curling up in a ball on the floor and occasionally twitching. She didn't even really look cute any more, only absolutely pitiful.
I groaned. "Lyra, Fluttershy may be the pinnacle of precious, but nopony wants to be treated like a lapdog. That's just degrading."
Lyra's expression slowly fell as I spoke, finally settling on an annoyed scowl, her eyes filling with disappointment, maybe because she wouldn't soon get to innocently stroke the adorable pegasus' soft coat, or scratch behind her ears, or rub her belly, or something. Though really, I think only Rainbow Dash would ever have the opportunity to do any of those things, and it probably wouldn't be innocent. I then got snapped back to reality as Lyra let out a groan not unlike the one I'd emitted earlier.
"Yeah, I guess you're right..." Lyra said begrudgedly as she trotted over to the quivering yellow and pink ball. She tried to say hello to it, but the amalgamation of fur and feathers only responded with a startled "meep!" Lyra looked back at me, her face as straight as an arrow, her body language telling me that this was no time for jokes. I complied, and waved my hoof downwards in the air, telling her to lower the volume of her voice, and maybe she'd have better luck. Rolling her eyes, Lyra turned to Rainbow Dash, who this whole time had been looking worriedly at what had become of her marefriend. Dash gave a small nod to confirm with Lyra that this was probably the best option, and Lyra once again turned to the pegasus on the floor.
I could barely hear Lyra as she began talking to Fluttershy again. As she addressed the pegasus, Lyra's expression softened to that of a loving caregiver, one who sweetly took care of many things. Heh, not unlike Fluttershy herself. "Uh...hi, uh, Fluttershy. What's got you so worried? There's no reason to be scared. Sly's a great guy, he's not going to hurt you. And just ask any one of my friends, I'm one of the nicest ponies around. I wouldn't hurt a fly."
Cautiously, Fluttershy peeked one eye open, her gaze falling on Lyra's motherly eyes, and slowly, Fluttershy uncurled herself, a small smile even returning to her face.
Rainbow's worried expression turned into that of a caring lover, which at first sight looks much like one of a mother, since both share the same soft smile and round features, with not a hard edge to be found. The difference is in the eyes; a lover has an omnipresent gleam in them whenever they're around their partner, one that reassures, but at the same time, excites. A holdover from our animal past, this is, when we couldn't rely on speech to know if somepony was ready to get down, or not. Though really, I doubt anything this complicated was going through Rainbow's mind as she calmy sashayed up to Fluttershy and gave her a light kiss on the nose, eliciting an embarrassed, but happy, blush from the kissee.
I smiled at the two of them, happy that everything seemed to have gone well for the couple in the end. There certainly had been a fair share of doubt when FlutterDash's friends and I first heard of, or rather saw, the pairing. "Well, I'm happy it's worked out for you two, so far. I have to admit, when you flew away, Rainbow, carrying Fluttershy heroically in your arms, we all wondered whether you guys would really still be a couple in the morning. Your friends told me alcohol has never been kind to Fluttershy's memory, and that really spooked me. But really, we were all frightened that she'd forget all about kissing you."
Rainbow Dash puffed out her chest again, returning to the pose she'd held before Lyra had spooked Fluttershy. "Heh, you guys had nothing to worry about. They don't call me 'loyalty' for nothing, y'know. I stayed by Fluttershy's bedside the whole night, just waiting for her to wake up. I wasn't scared or anything, but I guess I was kinda relieved when Fluttershy woke up. I was pretty amazed that she still woke with the sun, despite her massive hangover. And then when she saw me standing by her side like the caring mare I am, all her memories came flooding back. It did take her some time to come to terms with all the things she'd done the night before, but the first thing she accepted was that she definitely did have the hots for me, and even though it had come out in such a strange way, she told me she couldn't be happier."
Rainbow Dash eagerly looked over to Fluttershy for confirmation. The pegasus' smile had steadily grown as Rainbow retold the story she'd probably already told many times before, but you could barely see it beyond Fluttershy's mane, which she was now hiding behind even more than before, her cheeks almost beet red. Nevertheless, she decided she wanted to be a part of this conversation, too, and she began to speak in an angelic, but quiet tone. "Oh yes, when the sun's golden rays first woke me from my slumber, I was dreadfully confused. At first, I had no memory of the night before, and no idea why I had such a throbbing headache. But then I turned my head, and saw Rainbow right by my side. She looked positively exhausted, and she had some of the worst bags under her eyes that I had ever seen." Fluttershy turned her head towards Rainbow, giving her a thankful smile.
"But, when all my memories came flooding back to me a moment later, I was so embarrassed. But, there was a single good thought: Rainbow had actually taken me home, and she'd stayed here all night, watching over me to make sure I was alright. I don't think I could've ever gotten up the courage to, um...confess to Rainbow if it wasn't for, uh..."
Fluttershy stalled, her shyness getting the better of her. Rainbow decided to take up the slack, a confident smirk now on her face. "If it wasn't for you being totally awesome and bringing the party to its knees with one of the best performances I've seen in my life!"
Under Rainbow's confident gaze, Fluttershy was now blushing even more than before, if you could believe it. She gave a little smile, though, and continued. "Uh, yeah, if it wasn't for...that. But even if it came out so suddenly, I guess I'm happy it did now. Waiting the whole night, not letting the call of your warm bed and home betray your intentions" — Fluttershy leaned into Rainbow Dash, her hoof nuzzling Dash's chin — "if that's not love, then I don't know what is."
Fluttershy then leaned forward and closed her eyes, prompting Rainbow to do the same. Their lips met softly, and they began a slow, gentle kiss. After a few seconds, neither of them showed any signs of stopping, and they slowly began to walk away from Lyra and me, probably to someplace more private, and leaving me with a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.
I then saw something moving out of the corner of my eye, and I quickly turned my head and saw that it was Rarity, waving for us to come join her and the rest of the gang in a toast. I nodded, gladly accepting the offer, and Lyra and I slowly began trotting towards the group.
We hadn't taken more than a few steps, though, when I felt someone tapping a hoof on my shoulder. Turning my head, I came face-to-face with a disappointed Doctor Whooves. His eyes listlessly blinked at me, and he sighed. "Really, guys? I'm that much of a third wheel?"
It was now our turn to feel awkward, and Lyra and I responded to his rhetorical question with a nervous giggle. Our eyes darted around the room as we tried to think whether or not it was appropriate to apologize, but eventually, our gazes fell on each other.
Some ponies say you truly can call someone your partner when you can hold entire conversations with each other without either of you uttering a word. If this is true, Lyra and I certainly were partners now.
This really isn't working out, this whole arrangement between the three of us, now is it? I "said".
My marefriend responded in the affirmative. You've got that right.
It'd be a dick move to kick him out, right?
Uh, yeah!
...Probably should've figured that out for myself.
On that note, I decided it was probably right to apologize to Whooves, Lyra quickly following suit. All three of us then began trotting over to Rarity and the others, who had politely postponed their toast until we'd arrived. As we made our way over to them, I wondered how I could even think of throwing my friend out onto the street. Whooves is being a bit of an inconvenience now, but that's no reason to throw someone out with last week's trash! I'm not that cold-hearted!
As we reached the group, Lyra and I had to squeeze in a little bit so that the circle could fit us, making Lyra's tail brush against me in some...delicate places. I blushed and quickly looked towards Lyra, wondering if that was intentional or not. She had the same surprised expression as I did, but she kept me wondering when she gave me a playful wink, as if she'd been planning to do that all along.
...At least, I hope I'm not that cold-hearted.
———————————————————————————
Author's Note
Well everyone, here's your triweekly chapter, now with infinitely more Lyra compared to Chapter 9 (Her name was said a whopping 0 times there!). I hope this chapter lived up to your expectations. I certainly had a great time writing it. It also ended up being the longest chapter yet again, at about 8500 words.
But, enough of random stats and chit-chat. Unfortunately, my pre-reader NorsePony has decided to move on to other things, and will not be editing for me anymore. He's really taught me a lot of things in his time here, and I couldn't have asked for a better pre-reader. I suggest we send him off with a hearty round of applause.
This also means that I now do not have a pre-reader at all. Who that will be is still up in the air. Someone's asked me already, but I'm not sure if they're really up to the task, and I might just go to the pre-reader group on this site and ask some people there. But, if you think you've got what it takes to pre-read Triple X, then feel free to PM me about it. I'd much prefer it if you provided me with a list of credentials in your PM, like stories you've written or edited. It'd really help me out a lot.
And that's all I have to say about that.
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IT FEELS LIKE SATAN IS LICKING MY BRAIN!
Woo! A lovely new chappy!
And ew, hooves! That's a...disturbing thought. How does a pony...do that?
But enough horrifying mental images. A very nice chapter and Lyra is always epic :D
Oh yeah. FIRST!
Great chapter, I like that things are working out for Sly and Lyra.
The writers and pre-readers' group is really good, I'm sure you'll have no problem getting a new pre-reader.
601268 Don't ask questions like that, it isn't good for ones sanity. Also you were second...
Poor Sly, he has to choose between a bro and a hoe.
...He should probably go for the hoe, though.
Just sayin'.
Ah, memories of drunk rocking fluttershy. good times.
I love getting notifications for updates on this story. It's definitely in my top 5 on FiMFiction!
...that incinerate the horde and exterminate the weak
Execution level NEXT, no way to explain it
I'm sex sex sex bitch
TRIPLE
X
RATED
Ahhh, another fine chapter. I admit, I was looking forward to this for quite a while. And you did NOT disappoint!
If you do need a pre-reader, I wouldn't mind volunteering at all. I've done work on several people's stories like "Tugging at the Heartstrings" by AwesomeSauce57 and a couple that are being worked on now.
Awesome chapter, and I would absolutely love to preread for you. I used to preread for DawnFade, though we've kind of grown apart, if you'd like a reference. I spent about 2 hours editing for Path_of_cloud just yesterday, I'm sure he'd vouch for me. Both of them are here on FiMfiction, by the way. I hope you consider me :D
Oh, and I'm also a writer myself, though my current story is on hiatus indefinitely.
A fantastic chapter my good friend! I had almost forgotten about this story. I would also be willing to proof read, but I would like to take the role of a secondary proof reader. I'll send you the things I have worked on.
Whooves was Masturbating
i'd love to pre-read for ya! I've already done a bit of pre-reading for Wild Sky Yonder by Mysecsha, so I've got a bit of experience. Loving the story, too, by the way!
Yay, an update! I love your Lyra, glad to see her in the chapter this time.
GOD FREAKING TO THE DEPTHS OF THE NINE REALMS TO BE BURRIED IN JODINHEIM WITH A SHOVEL MADE FOM ODINS SWEATY BALLS YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
i have been so bored all day and then your story comes and save my brain from meltdown
Very nice chapter with some nice moments between our two lovers =) and a good move to put in a roommate as a third wheel. However, parts of this chapter tended to drag on longer than really necessary, all of them during Sly's many thought monologues. You could argue that it's just him going on his very many tangents as usual, but this time they seemed to be... overly tangented... if that makes sense. For example, at the party where Rainbow is giving her "caring lover" look, It almost turned into a research paper there. While interesting as it is to learn the origins of the "caring lover" look and the difference between it and the "caring mother" look, it dragged that action on quite a bit. Just something to keep in mind. Otherwise, a very good chapter that does well in showing the point of the previous chapter.
awsome dude, this was great, you're an amazing writer
Good story, as always.
) So yeah, put me on your list! 
I don't know, to edit or not to edit?
hm...
I'm not much of a story writer, but whenever I do write, I always edit my story myself. That has worked out and I have not gotten a single dislike so far (mostly because only five people read them anyways
601268 Nope, badassgrunt
Verrrrrrrrry nice
Looks like love is in the air for this chapter. Who knows maybe the Doctor will also find a very special somepony.
NIce, this is a great story.
601368 ...What?
601915 It's a shame you really have to go looking to even find mention of prog rock these days. Its kinda a forgotten genre.
602213 No, really?
603851 Hmm, I hadn't thought of that; maybe...nah.
604086 that's me 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
Sly Cooper. Hell YES!!!
Awesome! fun times, this story ends with copulation right? possibly a marriage scene and then their older years...
babymaking!...
Honestly poor hooves, I see where he comes from.
You know what is odder for me, I can't get my girlfriend to engage too much with things she does the wall flower bit too well
she actually walks behind me like I'm some kind of dominant male abuser...it drives me mad when she does so.
Darn it, I've reached the end. Now I actually have to WAIT for new chapters
Thanks for keeping me occupied, this story is absolutely fantastic 
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img.ponibooru.org/_images/d9b3f29f6f1dbc4f4a1093cc361a673f/124906%20-%20clop%20clopping%20Hubble%20macro%20rainbow_dash.PNG
601368
Butchered those lyrics bruh.
BTW really amazing story you got here, keep it up!
I don't know. Maybe it's just because we're seeing this through Sly's perverted mind, but Lyra and Sly's relationship seems like it's moving way too fast. Haven't they only been out on, like, one date? And already their making sexual gestures to one another?
Bumbling through all of the comments you receive, the only thing I can figure to say is, you get the strangest fucking comments I have ever seen.
Another chapter very well done.
I personally pre-read my own story (the one on FIMfic) but then again the first chapter came out like crap in terms of errors so maybe there is something to this prereadingness.... 
Love the chapter!
But now I just want to go play Sly Cooper.
Another great chapter! Can't wait to see what happens next.
Well I'd love to Preread for you, I'm just not sure I'd be good enough for your level of writing. You know me, and I got grammar and stuff to a T, as well as ideas and such, but there's just that spark which you have, but I don't.
Maybe it's just me being self-degrading though, I tend to do that.
Oh Doctor... You and your clopping XD
Loving the amount of Lyra too!
I would offer to be your pre-reader also, buttt i've never done such a thing before XD
Either way, I can't wait for the next chapter!
605923
HNGGG
mmyes
I love this story! Very entertaining and hilarious read. It should be even MORE popular. Keep up the good work sir!
629036 I'd fix that, but I don't really want to edit the chapter just to correct a double space. Just to see the gaps between when the chapters came out. And I agree, I think the one thing that could be improved upon with this chapter is that I rambled on too much in places.
632630 Too be honest, I didn't give it much thought. Maybe they couldn't find their special talent when they were young, which made them all sad and depressed, which led them to strip for money and thus acquire their marks? Seems plausible. Though, this doesn't bode well for the CMC...I wonder myself what cutie marks they have in this story (which takes place four years in the future).
Sometimes you seem to go into to much detail, like the description of lyra and rainbow's eyes. These sometimes take focus away from the main plotline
Overall, still a fun read!
Ok, first, as for the Dash stuff. It's moot. most of the problem I had was with the way the plot was presented, not the actual scenario. This was later alieviated. Consider that you are replying to a months old comment made in regards to the original version of chapter 1.
As for the porn stuff, my wording is a bit off. What I should have said is that "mainstream" porn in Equestria is significantly more extreme than "mainstream" human porn. By "mainstream" read commonly found in an adult video store. Most of the stuff in Sly's shop leans heavily toward the extreme fringe themes found promarily in drawn porn and hentai animation. Human porn can get very disgusting but as pointed out by others, it's not the sex acts depected but the themes that are unrealistic. Exen extreme gangbang vids are never seriously depicted as realistically rape-like. Most hardcore bdsm vids even include post session interviews with the sub and dom assuring the viewer (and authorities) that everything was 100% consensual.
687312 Uh, thank you, your, uh...highness?
>I was once again stuck by their brilliance
Not sure if meant to be struck