//------------------------------// // Chapter 6 // Story: Triple X // by ElMikkino //------------------------------// "Hey," said Rainbow Dash. "Can we talk?" "Sure," I said. Rainbow Dash gave me a nervous smile as she approached the counter. I noticed that she had dark bags under her eyes, and her voice wavered as she spoke next. "Sly, I've been thinking it over and I..." Rainbow Dash sighed. "I don't think I can go to the Reunion with you." I sighed back. I kind of expected this. Rainbow's relationship with her friends hadn't been the same since she arrived back in Ponyville. I could see why she was having second thoughts about going. The whole situation could very well be awkward for everypony. "I get how you're feeling, Rainbow," I began. "But don't you think that it's time you got back in touch with your friends?" "Well, yeah...I do miss them. But I've changed as a pony, Sly, and not for the better. Apart from my welcome back party and a few, um...encounters, it's been two years since I talked to any of them. What if they don't accept me?" "Rainbow, come on. Of course they'll accept you. Hell, they'll welcome you back with open arms." "That's another thing too, though. If they welcome me back in so readily, they're only doing it because they're all like, 'Oh, Rainbow's had such a hard time.' They'll pity me, and I don't want that. I don't know if I can do it, but I want to try and be the pony I was back before I left." Rainbow blinked hard and sniffed, wetness starting to show around her eyes. "But they'll never look at me the way they used to." She tried to wipe her tears away with a hoof, but it was a bit of a futile effort. I hadn't really seen Rainbow Dash this sad since she first showed up at the Knife and Apple. This Reunion was supposed to be a great opportunity for her, but she's turned it into a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.  And I'm partly to blame for accepting Hard Cider's invitation so quickly...well, hopefully I can fix this. I'm no stranger to being depressed. I shook my head. "Rainbow, you can't look at it that way. This should be an awesome opportunity for you, a way to reintroduce yourself and become part of the team again. Don't turn it into a problem. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain." Rainbow choked up. "I wish I never joined the Wonderbolts in the first place..." "Rainbow, don't say that. You had the time of your life in the Wonderbolts." "Yeah, well life goes on, Sly. Tell me one thing that's better now than it was before I flew with them." I opened my mouth to say something, but then closed it when nothing came to mind. Rainbow now has fewer friends, less money, and she's barely holding onto her job. I couldn't really relate to her experience; you can't feel the pain of losing everything if you never had anything to lose. But I couldn't just leave Rainbow like this. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. Kind of a shaky one, but it was the best I could think of. "Yes, you're right, Rainbow Dash. Your life sucks right now. Every morning you go to your boring job that you hate, struggle to make ends meet, and you drown your sorrows in alcohol almost every night." Rainbow stood there with a shocked expression on her face. I got up from my chair and slammed my hooves on the counter, standing on my hind legs. "But," I continued, raising my voice. "This is your opportunity to fix everything. This is where your life takes a turn for the better again. This is your moment to shine and be awesome all over again. To prove to Applejack and the rest of your friends that you are Rainbow Dash. Are you with me?!" I thrust out a hoof. Rainbow wiped the tears from her eyes, a grin reappearing on her face. Wow, it's working. "Yes I am!" she shouted, striking her hoof against mine. "So then stop worrying!" I roared back. "Look forward to this event with a gleam in your eye, and a fire in your heart! Take back what is rightfully yours, and live life to its fullest!" "I will, Sly," said RD, saluting. The tears that had been streaming out of her eyes only moments before were now lying forgotten on her face, the fiery light from the setting sun refracting beautifully in them. I threw out a hoof toward the crimson light filtering through the windows. "Now go back into the sunset, and look at it as a beginning rather than an end!" I continued. "For the night is when dreams are reborn!" Rainbow Dash sniffed back the last of her tears. "You're right Sly, this is gonna be good. I'll see you outside the shop on the day of, okay?" "I'll be there." "Great," said RD, exiting the shop. "G'night, Sly!" Even the bell sounded upbeat as it jingled behind her. I really hadn't expected that to work so well. I never thought I'd be a good motivational speaker, but I've been finding success with surprising regularity recently. Hopefully, the Reunion would only add to my winning streak. ------------------------------------------ The Wednesday of the Reunion approached fairly quickly. My relationship with Lyra proceeded steadily, and I got no more visits from a downtrodden Rainbow Dash. I even got Ponyville's only plumber to come in and finally fix my hot water. I never realized how much I missed showering in my own home. Though really, I'm just happy I don't have to go to the spa again. I'm not sure if I'm even allowed within fifty feet of the place now. I stood outside the shop, feeling the mid-afternoon sun beat down on me. I couldn't believe it was still only the end of August. It felt like so much had happened since the month began.  Good thing September's weather would dispel this heat. I'm more of a spring and fall guy. "Hey Sly!" called out a familiar voice. I turned and saw Rainbow Dash flying towards me, wearing the same hopeful smile that she had been when she left the shop. "Hey," I called back. "Ready for the party?" "Hell yeah," said RD, landing beside me. "I am psyched. I really owe you one, Sly, you were right. Time to put this lame chapter of my life behind me and start fresh." I smiled. This was more like the Rainbow Dash I used to hear about, the one whose excitement was infectious and whose soul was full of passion. Not the one whose sex life is scandalous and whose liver is full of alcohol. I thrust a hoof forward. "Well, let's not waste any time then! To Sweet Apple Acres!" "Hell yeah!" shouted RD, with a spray of enthusiastic saliva. I flinched away from the flying droplets, my eyes closing for a split second. When I opened them again, Rainbow was gone, a rainbow-coloured streak in her wake. I blinked in startlement, and she was back again. "Okay, maybe we can waste a bit of time," I said as a blush crept onto Rainbow's face. ----------------------------------------- After a tiring walk, we arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. The party was going to take place right in front of the barn, and it was going to go well into the night. As Hard Cider had said, it was going to be a real hoedown. As RD and I crested the final hill, the farm's entrance came into view, as well as a mare that could only be Applejack. I've only passed her on the street myself, and had bought a couple of apples from her once or twice, but Hard Cider has talked about her more often than he'd like to admit. She had a much more interesting life than him, really, and he retold her adventures a lot. She looked to be greeting ponies at the gate. I heard something rustle to my left, and I turned my head. Rainbow was missing, and the bush just off the path had somehow sprouted a pair of purple eyes. I rolled mine, and walked up to the timidly-observing plant. "Rainbow, what's the matter?" "Applejack's right there!" the plant replied, its eyes growing more worried. "Well yeah, what did you expect?" "Well, I knew she'd be here, but not this soon! I don't think I'm ready!" "Come on, Rainbow, she won't bite. You'll be fine." "But Sly, look at her eyes! I bet she thinks something is up." "Well, to be fair, I am conversing with a shrubbery right now." "Yeah, well..." Rainbow sighed. "Okay, okay, I'm coming..." Twigs tumbled off of Rainbow as she emerged from her leafy retreat. We continued down the dirt road, Rainbow not looking as eager as she had before. But, as we approached the archway, Applejack's face lit up, and she dashed out to meet us. See, Rainbow? It's not just you who has missed her friends. "Do mah eyes deceive me?" inquired Applejack. "Why, Rainbow, it is you! I'm mighty glad to see you again, darlin'. And, uh, hello to you, stranger. What brings ya here?" Applejack narrowed her eyes at me. I'm already suspicious in her mind? I cleared my throat. "Uh, yes, hello Miss...Applejack, right? I'm Sly Clop, and Rainbow and I are Hard Cider's guests for the Reunion." Applejack's expression immediately eased. "Well, why didn't ya say so earlier? Yup, Ah'm Applejack. Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Clop." I gritted my teeth at that name. "Please, call me Sly," I said, a lot more politely than I could've. I really should start working my name of choice into my introduction. "Slah, then," said Applejack. That's not great, either, but it'll do. "Welcome to the 63rd annual Apple Family Reunion! Y'all are some of the first ones here." Applejack beckoned us through the archway. She pointed to a large table laid out in front of the barn. "We have apples, apple fritters, apple tarts, apple pie, apple crullers, apple dumplings, apple slices, apple juice, candy apples and hard apple cider!" Applejack gave us a warm smile. I wonder if there's ever been anypony who's come to one of these who was allergic to apples. Poor guy must've starved. I looked around the lawn, and saw Applejack was right, we were pretty early. Only her, Big Mac, Hard Cider, a pony who could only be Granny Smith, a gangly yellow filly with a pink bow on her head, and a goldenrod stallion with a stetson and a leather vest were there. Applejack assured us that there would be many more guests coming, including the rest of Rainbow's friends. "Y'know, it's been a while since any of us have seen you, sugarcube. Ah was getting worried. Where've you been?" Applejack looked at Rainbow with distress in her eyes. Rainbow sighed. "It's kind of a long story..." Applejack smiled warmly. "Well, Ah've got all day to hear it, sugarcube." Rainbow cautiously smiled back. That's the spirit, Rainbow. I motioned for her to go off with Applejack. I didn't need to listen to her hardships again, some of which I had experienced first-hand. Besides, I had more pressing matters to attend to. The time had now come for Operation: Humiliate Big Mac. As I approached Big Mac, his eyes bugged out, and he furrowed his brow. Sweat immediately started to cascade down his forehead. Wow, this guy's a nervous wreck. "Uh..." he said. "Hey, Sly. How are ya doin'?" "I'm doing very well," I said. "Good to hear." His eyes darted frantically. "So, uh, good talking with ya." He smiled pleadingly. Not a chance, Mac. "Well, who's this young whippersnapper?" said a raggedy old voice behind me, interrupting my plans. I turned, and saw that it was the raggedy and old Granny Smith. I'd never actually met her, but ever since Red Light told me the real story of my birth, I've always felt like I should thank her. She did save my life, after all. "Good afternoon, ma'am," I said to her, trying to make a good impression. "I'm a friend of Hard Cider's, Sly Clop. But please, call me Sly." "Sly, then," said Granny Smith, looking me over. "Ah have a feeling that Ah've seen you somewhere before...aha! What was your pappy's name, sonny?" It was like she could read my mind. "Red Light was his name," I replied. "Ah, yes!" exclaimed Granny Smith. "So you are that child. Your pappy was one strange stallion. He didn't have his priorities right at all. Did Ah knock some sense into him that night at the train station?" "I honestly have no idea," I said. "My father was a very strange stallion. How well did you know him outside of that night?" "Ah didn't. That's the only time I ever met him," said Granny Smith. "But, it isn't every day a pony tries to throw his offspring away like a sack of bad apples. It looks like you grew up alright, though." "I guess I did," I replied, really not sure if how I grew up could be called "right." "I just want to thank you for being there that night." "Oh, it was nothing, sonny. Just doing what any right-thinking pony would have done." I nodded gratefully. The silence rapidly stretched into awkwardness. "So," said Granny Smith, at last. "What line of work did you come up into?" "Uh..." I replied. At that moment, I realized I regarded Granny Smith as a hero. And I also realized that I really didn't want to tell my hero that I worked in a porn shop, of all places. It seemed likely that she wouldn't have learned where my dad worked. I felt something tapping my leg. Turning my head, I saw it was the gangly yellow filly from before. Phew, I'm saved. "Hey," I said nicely. "What's your name, little one?" "Apple Bloom!" said the filly. "And Ah'm not little!" "Of course you're not," I said. "I'm Sly Clop, but please call me Sly." "What kind of a name is Sly Clop?" asked Apple Bloom, raising an eyebrow. "Apple Bloom!" said Granny Smith sternly. "That's no way to talk to a guest!" "S'rry," replied Apple Bloom. "Heh, it's okay," I said. "Now, what did you want?" "Oh yeah!" said Apple Bloom, springing back into action. "What's your cutie mark mean?" Damn. Back in the hot seat. Big Mac, who up until now had been watching nervously from the sidelines, gave me the kind of wry smile I should be giving him. "It means...uh..." A trickle of sweat started running down the back of my neck as I tried to think of an appropriate response. Without saying what I actually do, I had to satisfy the young one's interest, as well as the old one's, and I had to not give Big Mac a chance to call me on it. Needless to say, I was drawing an endless supply of blanks. "Uh...it means...it means--" "It means he runs a porn shop," deadpanned Rainbow Dash, who must've just come up behind me. Slowly, I turned my head to regard Rainbow Dash, who was smirking at me. My gaze then shifted to the ponies behind her, and my heart sank even further. My mind flashed back to the numerous newspaper articles I had read on them as I came face to face with the Elements of Harmony. Farthest to the left were the Elements of Honesty and Generosity, both regarding me with a look that covered disappointment, shock, and curiosity all in one go. The Element of Magic just looked quizzical, as if she had no idea what Dash had just said. Past the previously mentioned Element of Loyalty was the Element of Laughter, who looked at me with almost an expression of awe. And farthest to the right was the one that broke my heart the most. The Element of Kindness was blushing furiously, and she looked ready to hide her head in the proverbial sand. From what I've read, she's too pure a soul for this. "G-greetings," I said, nervously performing a salute along with my salutation. "I-I'm Sly Clop, b-but you can call me S-Sly. Pleased to m-meet you all." "Slah," said Applejack. "Is it true that you run a store sellin' that kind of hogwash?" I sighed, defeated. "Yes..." "Rainbow," said Applejack, giving her a quizzical look. "You've made some really weird friends." A bout of nervous laughter followed, everypony not exactly sure what to say. My brain realized that these ponies were definitely not just famous faces, and that I now was hoping for approval, or at least not utter disgust, from a group of ponies I've only just met. The least I could do is call them by name. "What's porn?" asked Apple Bloom, being the first one to find her voice. "Yeah, what is it?" asked Twilight Sparkle. Really? I had thought she was smarter than that. "Apple Bloom, you'll learn when you're older," said Applejack. "Twilight, go have a chat with Braeburn. He'll tell you everything you'd ever need to know." "You're far too sheltered for your own good, Twilight," said Rarity. "You need to know these things. Spike's getting to be around that age now. What if he asks you about them?" Twilight responded with a puzzled reaction. Yep, completely clueless. "Wow, so I bet you're the owner of that shop I pass by every time I'm on Soresaddle Street!" said Pinkie Pie.  To my horror, Granny Smith put on a seductive look. "When I was young, I was quite the little apple pie. All the stallions wanted a piece of me..." The conversation quickly dissolved into chaos, but you expect that sort of thing when you throw a conversational bomb into the middle of a large group of ponies. I cringed when I heard Granny Smith say something about "stallions spreading whipped cream", and tried to get away as fast as possible. In doing so, I ran smack dab into Hard Cider. I bounced off the larger pony, while he barely noticed the collision. "Hey Sly," he said. "What's going on here?" "Oh, just that everypony found out where I work and now they're discussing R-rated topics," I replied. "Sounds...interesting," replied Cide. "Yeah, Celestia will probably smite me any time now." "So Sly," said Big Mac, who had found the guts to willingly approach me. "Party didn't turn out exactly like you planned, eh?" "Guess not, but that reminds me," I said back. I cleared my throat. "Big Mac is a frequent customer of my shop who just looooooves porn!" Almost instantly, all eyes turned to Big Mac, who once again got very nervous. Everypony then simultaneously rushed up to him, asking questions of varying appropriateness, especially considering that a child was still with us. I watched Big Mac get swarmed, and a wave of pleasure ran up my spine. Even Fluttershy wanted to at least hear this conversation. "There," I said, turning to Hard Cider. "Now everything is once again right with the world." ----------------------------------------- A couple of hours had passed, and it was coming up on 6:00. Eventually, everypony had quieted down and had accepted my workplace--or at least they had dropped the subject--and most of them, I had no doubt, were keeping Big Mac's little secret tucked away until the most opportune time to bring it out again. I had finally been properly introduced to everypony, but Fluttershy and Twilight both still acted a bit averse towards me, the latter just having learned about the finer points of adultery from Braeburn. As promised, plenty more guests had shown up, and damn near every single one had "Apple" in their name. I swear, if you listened to any idle conversation at the party, every five seconds you'd hear the word "apple." I eventually got into a conversation with Braeburn, who turned out to be a pretty cool guy. And to my surprise, he told me that the hydra-on-hydra DVD was actually for him. "Heh, never would've guessed that," I said. "I hear 'It's for my cousin' practically every day." "Well," said Braeburn. "It gets a mite boring in Appleloosa sometimes, though harvest season is coming up soon. Ah have to find something to keep my hooves full..." "Don't you have a marefriend, Braeburn? You certainly look fine enough," I said as I sipped from my first mug of hard cider. Braeburn sighed. "Shucks, no. Most of our mares came to Appleloosa as blushing brides, looking to settle on the frontier with their new husbands. Most of the single ponies are stallions like me, whose muse is the frontier, and who answer only to her call." "Well, you just keep looking, Braeburn. If somepony like me can find a marefriend, you can find two." "Well, thank ya kindly, Sly," said a blushing Braeburn. "Well, looks like you found some friends, too," said Rainbow Dash, grabbing a mug of cider from the table we were standing by. She was joined by the rest of the Elements of Harmony, all of whom also grabbed cider, bar Fluttershy. "Hey RD," I said. "So everything's going along swimmingly with your friends?" "Totally!" she said. "I can't believe I was so nervous about seeing them again!" "See, what did I tell ya?" I said. I took another swig of my drink, savouring its taste.  "Great cider, eh?" "I haven't tried it yet, me and the girls have been too busy talking. I hear this year's cider is really something special, though." "You got that right! Bottoms up, Rainbow!" said Applejack, her mug already half-finished. "Cheers," said RD, raising her mug to her lips. Suddenly, a grey pegasus careened out of the sky, and smashed into Rainbow Dash, spilling her drink all over the dirt. "Derpy!" shouted Applejack. "How many times do I have to tell ya that the mailbox is over there!?" "Sorry..." mumbled the strangely cross-eyed pegasus before taking to the air again. Rainbow got up, and saw the contents of her mug all over the ground. Her lips quivered. "I knew it. I'm cursed. I'll never have my fill of cider." She looked like she was on the verge of tears. I regarded Rainbow worriedly, fretting about her emotional state. But her lips quirked up and she cast a sidelong glance at her friends, which they answered with giggles. I decided it must have been a strange in-joke, and breathed a sigh of relief. "If Ah can get a word in," said Braeburn. "It really is nice to see y'all again. How long has it been? Three years? Four?" "4 years, 2 months and 18 days," said Pinkie Pie matter-of-factly. I blinked in surprise, and Braeburn just stared at Pinkie. "Oookay...," he said slowly. "Anyways," he continued, "How have y'all been? Ah really wish I could've been here at the past few Reunions, but this is the first chance Ah've had to get away from Appleloosa." "How is that darling little town going?" inquired Rarity. Braeburn broke into a big, pleased smile. "Well, we're getting along just fine. Our population has just about doubled in size since you six were last there, and relations with the buffalo tribe couldn't be better. Why, with all the new folks in town, we had to build three entire streets. But really, Ah'm more interested in what's going on in Ponyville these days. How's everything going with y'all?" "Well," said Rarity, with a toss of her mane. "My fall collection was recently shown at the annual Canterlot Fashion Show. Everypony who is anypony is absolutely raving at my work. It's delightful to be the talk of so many ponies." "A few weeks ago, I hosted the most incredibly awesome, most funtastic party ever!" said Pinkie Pie, full of enthusiasm. "There were clowns, and jugglers, and stand-up comedians, and I was a juggling clown doing stand-up comedy! And after the comedy was over, DJ Pon-3 spun it all night long! I hadn't had so much fun since the last party!" "Well, that sounds like a right good hoedown to me," said Braeburn. He expectantly looked at Fluttershy, eager to hear her story. Fluttershy then turned her head from Braeburn to me, and partially hid behind her hair. "Come on, Fluttershy," said Rainbow. "He's actually a really nice guy." Still reluctantly, Fluttershy then began to speak in quite possibly the cutest voice I'd ever heard. "A family of beavers recently moved into the pond, and I've spent the last few days helping them get accustomed to their new home. They're very capable, though, and they know where all the best spots for food are now." Everypony grinned at Fluttershy, encouraging her sociability. She had nothing more to say, though, and went back to being conversationally transparent. Twilight was the next pony the torch was passed to. "I recently finished work on a new spell," she said, giddily. "I call it the Thermo-Volume Registration spell. It will revolutionize the lives of ponies everywhere! It's certainly revolutionized mine." Braeburn shook his head slowly. "Well, ain't that something? Ponies all over the world. That's just plain amazing, Miss Twilight. What does it do?" "It checks the temperature of your coffee so you know how much you can drink in one gulp without burning your mouth!" said the purple unicorn, grinning from ear to ear. "Oh. Sounds...important," replied Braeburn. "And Ah've just been bucking apples like always!" said Applejack proudly. "Heh, good to know the family tradition is still being upheld as proudly as I'd expect it to be," said Braeburn. Dash was the last pony in line to speak, but she only pawed the ground with a hoof.  "Don't you want to say something, Dashie?" said Pinkie Pie kindly. A hint of sadness crossed Rainbow Dash's face. I could almost see the more painful memories of her recent life flashing before her eyes. "I'd...rather not talk about it," she finally said. "Fair enough," said Braeburn understandingly. "Why don't we get a table?" I suggested, eager to hear more about the lives of Ponyville's most famous ponies. We ended up having to put two tables together to sit all eight of us, but it worked out. We were able to keep a lively conversation going for quite some time, the topic switching almost constantly. One minute, we'd be talking about a nigh-impossible order for a dress Rarity had to fill, the next we'd be hearing about the latest friendship report Twilight sent. We each also got at least a couple more mugs of cider, since it was free and all. Rainbow Dash, in particular, was overjoyed at being able to successfully drink Applejack's cider. Even Fluttershy eventually gave in and got a mug, though she was hesitant to take even one sip from it. Inevitably, though, conversation eventually shifted to the juiciest topic at the table: me. Or more specifically, my line of work. "So," began Rarity, now starting on her third mug of cider. "What's working in the 'adult video' industry like, Sly?" We had just finished speaking about Apple Bloom's recent birthday party, so the question caught me a bit off guard. "Well, it's certainly interesting," I said simply. "Do go on," said Rarity, taking another sip of cider. "Well, one of the things I like most about my work is seeing the expressions on my customers' faces as they go about their shopping. It's amusing how some of them try to hide their more...exotic selections, or say that this one is 'for their friend', or something. I'm not going to judge you any differently. Ponies all have carnal desires.  Sooner or later, pretty much everypony comes through my door. And these desires take many forms. To me, it doesn't matter if you only buy softcore, or if you buy exclusively 'fourth aisle' things." "What does 'fourth aisle' mean?" said Twilight, interrupting my monologue. Rainbow Dash took a big gulp of cider, and then belted out, "That's where he keeps all the most awesome filthy shit!" I gave Dash the evil eye. I was trying to be vague, so everyone would warm up to me. No chance of that now. Meanwhile, Twilight's face perfectly conveyed "I'm 12, and what is this?" Without further interruption, I continued, not caring about being vague anymore. "You don't have control over those primal instincts, though. In fact, I kinda look up to that nervous young stallion who is courageous enough to buy that Neighponese tentacle rape porn. He's gotten over being judged, and rightly so, because I look at everyone who enters my shop in the same way: they have accepted their desires, and have come to me to fulfill them." I finished my little speech with a profound smile on my face, and looking over the rest of the group, I could tell that they didn't expect me to say something so deep. But hey, I'm a stallion of many surprises. Heh heh, deep. ------------------------------------------- Author's Note Well, that was quite a ride. Hey, almost a week later is better than never, right? Chalk the lateness up to 1) me not knowing that you can't send PMs with multiple recipients here the normal way (Name, name), and wasting a day and a half because of it 2) me just not feeling up for writing some days and 3) extensive pre-reading, done only to make this chapter better. Really, I wrote about a third of this chapter when I wasn't "in the zone" and it wasn't very good, and only by extensive editing is it now up to snuff with the rest of the chapter. I really like that we got everything right to the best of our abilities in the end. Thanks to NorsePony and Smash King24 for being said pre-readers. Very awesome people, definitely. Also, a thanks to the band Yes for writing "Roundabout" and "Siberian Khatru", which both almost instantly put me in a writing mood after I listen to them. Also, the link to "Sexy and I Know It" in Chapter 3 has finally been fixed. Thanks to iloveportalz0r for that. So yeah, hopefully you all enjoy this chapter. Hopefully, the next one won't take as long to complete. EDIT: Oh, and the cover image has now been changed (Or, at least it should be. Does it need to pass through mods first? Anyways, it's either been changed or in the process of being changed.). Thanks to mickf18 on deviantART (DeusExKane here) for designing it. Here's the full size version. Alexstrazsa here and Gig-Mendecil on deviantART also designed a cover image. There was a little competition between the two, you could say. Here's his design.