"And that's what I plan to do."
I shook my head, trying to clear it. I must've heard wrong. The things Whooves had said were too outrageous to really be serious suggestions. "I'm sorry, could you run that by me again?"
Whooves rolled his eyes. "C'mon, Sly, it's not that hard to understand!"
Whooves and I were in my room back at the Mareborough, both of us having just woken up after what had turned into a pretty awesome night. It would've been even better if I had just woken up with Lyra next to me, but hey, it hasn't even been two weeks yet, and a one-night stand this is not. We did do some serious kissing at the park, though. Just thinking about it got me all warm and fuzzy inside.
There might've only been one reason we didn't go "all the way" last night, actually: Whooves—though I'd gotten used to him messing stuff up by then. I realized that we had left the Doctor at the party, and he might be feeling pretty lonely. We reluctantly decided to head back, and were relieved when we saw the Doctor was having the time of his life on the dance floor. He made some moves that put many of the other partygoers to shame. Lyra and I just sat on the sidelines and watched him, but we were having a great time nonetheless. After the party ended (well past midnight, I might add), I parted ways with Lyra, and was ready to welcome Whooves into my abode for an extended stay. But, if I actually did hear correctly, it seemed that my hospitality wouldn't be needed.
The Doctor cleared his throat, snapping me out of last night's past and back to this morning's present. "Okay, I'll say it again: What you said to me last night really got me thinking. I always try to support every pony I meet with a warm smile and a good joke or two, so why can't I do the same for myself? I haven't really been listening to my calling in this world for a long time now; my special talent is controlling time, not pleasuring mares or anything stupid like that."
"I always had a knack for science when I was young, building potato-powered rockets and such. When I won the sixth grade science fair with my time-pausing device, I was ecstatic. It could only stop time for an eighth of a second, but it was a monumental breakthrough in science all the same. I spent the summer working hard on a device that could stop time for longer, and I brought it to school on the first day of class, the machine's output now doubled. Unfortunately, the school's electrical wiring was a little wonky, and it messed with the circuitry in my contraption, causing the entire thing to blow up in my face.
"Oh, how I was ridiculed for that. I tried to rebuild, at first, but the endless taunting from the other students convinced me to reform to the social norms. From then on out, I was just your average misfit; I could occasionally crack a good joke, but I was just a bit too socially inept to really have a group of friends I could stick with. I lamely trudged my way through the rest of my schooling like this, just getting by with great grades, but with nothing really to show for them. And then when my dad told me the family didn't have enough money to fund my tuition, my hopes of going to university were also dashed. In the end, I left home without much of a plan, not really wanting to live in the basement anymore. I rented an apartment and went from job to job, never really staying at one for all that long. One of the jobs I got was at the convenience store on this street, and that's why I found myself at the Knife and Apple in the first place. I met you there, and you know the rest."
"I've been ignoring my true calling ever since seventh grade, when my peers convinced me it was a stupid one. But if my calling is to master time, to be a 'Time Lord', as you suggested, must I not first master my own time? No offense to you, Sly, or the time I worked here, but I've been just been wasting my life for so long now. My youth has come and almost gone; I'm not middle-aged yet, but I'm certainly starting to feel it. Isn't it time I got my life back on track? And I think the best way to start is to accomplish the things I've always wanted to do, like visit the city, climb a mountain, and once again captivate an audience. And I sure as hell won't be doing any of those things here in our quaint little town. So, I'll be leaving. I'm going to go back to my apartment to grab whatever I can sling over my shoulder, and then me and my bindle will be off to Manehattan. It'll be an adventure, Sly, one which I've sorely lacked for all my life. Doesn't that just sound grand?"
I shook my head again, one half of my brain once again not believing what I'd just heard, but the other half was pretty positive that I couldn't mishear somepony's entire life story twice. "Well..." I began. "That sounds like an...interesting proposition. I must admit, Doctor, that's not what I'd do, but if you have your mind set on it, I think it sounds like a fine way to start over."
Whooves broke into a grin. "Thanks, Sly! Really, I've had a wonderful time in this little slice of heaven we call Ponyville, but if I am really going to be the Lord of Time, I have to start sooner rather than later. I'll miss you, buddy. I wish you and Lyra the best of luck."
Whooves turned his neck and stretched, a few cracks emanating from it. He trotted to the stairway before turning his head back to me. "Aren't you going to wish me the same, Sly?"
I blinked, some of me still not fully in belief that this was happening. "Uh, yeah, good luck."
The Doctor smiled, and began his descent. This really was a very sudden thing; I hadn't expected the speech at the cliff to have such an effect on him. All the good times I'd had with Whooves over the years flashed before my eyes, and I found myself reaching a hoof out to him. "Wait!" I shouted.
The sound of hoofsteps ceased. Whooves' voice rang out from the bottom of the stairs. "Yeah, Sly?"
I dashed down the steps, and gave the Doctor a big hug. His body tensed up, probably surprised at my reaction as much as I was. I sniffed. "Have a great time, Whooves. I sincerely wish you" — I sniffed again, trying hard to hold back tears — "the best of luck."
Whooves put a comforting arm around me. "Don't worry, Sly. I won't be gone forever. I'll promise to visit as much as I can."
I couldn't muster much more than another sniff. "Thanks, Whooves."
And with that, I let him go. Only the bell signalled his farewell as he walked out of the shop.
———————————————————————
Lyra came in at exactly 6:30, a smile on her face. I looked up from the counter, returning hers with one of my own.
Lyra swiveled her head, looking around the shop. "Hey Sly, what's up? Is Whooves upstairs?"
I sighed. "No, he left."
Lyra raised an eyebrow. "Left?"
"Yeah. Our speech at the cliff affected him more than I ever dreamed it would. He's gotten a whole new outlook on life, and he decided to go on a journey and attempt to become master of his own time on this world, before he tries to just become a master of time in general."
Lyra blinked, her eyes much wider than usual. "Uh...I guess that makes sense. Still pretty sudden, though."
Lyra began making her way towards the counter. I got up from the chair, making room for her. "Yeah, you're telling me. I was pretty shocked at his decision, but if he thinks he's doing the right thing, I can't stop him. This choice doesn't seem as idiotic as his last ones, at least."
Lyra sat down in the chair as I stepped aside. I had gotten used to her posture now, so it didn't unnerve me at all as she settled into it. She turned her head back towards me. "I'm not sure if his decisions could get any worse than the one he made last night. I'm still relieved that we were able to convince him he was wrong. And poor Bon Bon, seeing him right on the precipice and having such a hard time finding anypony to help. That must've been such a traumatic experience for her."
I nodded in agreement. "About her: I saw you two talking at the party after we got back. What were you guys talking about? Are you two like peas in a pod again?"
Lyra smiled. "I'm not sure if you could call us 'peas in a pod' yet, but we're at least on speaking terms. In fact, you and I both have been invited to have lunch with her this Wednesday. Just the three of us; a fresh start."
My expression soured as my thoughts turned to the last lunch we'd had with Bon Bon. But, if she wanted a fresh start, it was probably best to accept her offer. It wouldn't be good for her to keep on hating me. Maybe we could even be friends. "Hmm...um, sure. That sounds fine. Best to let bygones be bygones."
Lyra nodded. She opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by a rapping at the door. We both looked to it, and I was once again surprised to see Pinkie Pie standing behind it. I shrugged and walked over to the door, wondering what brought her here again, and also why she felt the need to knock on a door that had an "open" sign on it.
I pushed the door aside, and was blasted by Pinkie's motormouth. "Oh, Sly, I just wanted to come over and say sorry for all the trouble I caused you last night at the party. I gave a lot of ponies the wrong impression of you. A few even thought you were a jailbreaking meanie-face, and were wondering why I was hosting a party for you at all. And then when Doctor Whooves ran out like that, I just felt terrible, and then somepony told me what happened after, and, and—"
Pinkie Pie slumped to the ground, quivering. "Will you ever forgive me?"
I smiled and patted Pinkie's head with a hoof. "Pinkie, you can't blame yourself for everything that happened. I should have been more careful with what was coming out of my mouth. You don't have to apologize for anything."
Pinkie Pie stopped her shaking and looked up. "Really?"
I nodded. "Really."
With a sproing, Pinkie Pie jumped up, not a single hint of sadness on her face anymore. "Well, it's good to get that off my chest. I woke up really late today, and with a huge hangover. I definitely drank way too much. But my headache quadrupled when I remembered how badly the party went for you, and I never apologized! I rushed here as fast as my little hooves could carry me. I'm happy it's all water under the bridge now, though. I think I'll go and make a stop at the convenience store; Chow told me he's got a hit with my name on it there. Though, I'm not sure how you can put my name on something so powdery; it'd be really hard to write on. But, who am I to doubt him, he always has it! And hey, that did get me more screentime! See ya later, Sly!"
And with that, Pinkie Pie hopped away, me still speechless from the absurdity of her rambling. I sighed and trotted back inside, turning to Lyra to see if she'd caught any of that crazy talk. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised to see her admiring my flower of choice for today. Its brilliant hue of blue was dazzling, and it made it look like a very attractive plant indeed.
Lyra saw that I had come back from my talk with Pinkie, and turned her head towards me. "Glad to see you still have your sanity. I'm curious, what flower is this?"
I walked over to the counter and looked at the flower, Lyra following my gaze. "It's a cornflower. Rose told me that it's sometimes called a 'Bachelor Button'."
Lyra gave me a strange look. "Why'd you get it, then? What, you breaking up with me?" she said jokingly.
I shook my head. "I wouldn't dream of doing so. No, I got it because Rose told me it symbolizes anticipation, and the name was just too good for me to pass up. Anticipation for what, you may ask. Why, anticipation of maybe not being a bachelor for much longer."
Lyra blushed. "Are you really already thinking about marriage?"
I took a step back, and shook my head vigorously. "No, no, that wasn't it at all! I was just trying to say that I was anticipating being together a lot longer with you, Lyra. No strings attached, if you wish them not to be."
Lyra gave me a sultry look. She put a hoof under my chin, and pulled me in closer. "That's cute, Sly. I'm looking forward to it, too. But why don't we just focus on the now at the moment?"
Lyra closed her eyes and puckered her lips, prompting me to do the same. We were an inch away from touching when I heard the ding of the bell behind me.
I jumped up, my face red hot. I quickly turned around, and was surprised to see Twilight Sparkle standing in the doorway. A blush was also playing across her cheeks. "Oh, uh, sorry! I'm not interrupting anything, are I?"
I sighed. "It's okay. What brings you here tonight, Ms. Sparkle?"
The blush on Twilight's face deepened, and she twiddled her hooves in nervousness. "Um, well, I was thinking it would be good to get some, uh, research material for, uh..."
Lyra giggled behind me. "It's fine, Twilight, whatever you want to call it." Lyra got up from the chair and made her way over to our new patron. "Now, why don't we see what would give you the most results?"
Twilight hastily nodded, and Lyra and her began walking down aisle number one. I could swear Lyra was swaying her hips with a bit more gusto than usual, and I felt my face grow even hotter. I looked away, not wanting other areas of my body catching up, my eyes falling on the flower I'd gotten Lyra. Ah well. I've waited this long, I can wait a little longer.
I found my thoughts drifting to the first time Lyra ever walked into the store, how I completely botched her first impression of me. The scene replayed through my mind:
"What'll it be, miss? Dawn of the Dick? Masturbator Salvation? James Bondage: Goldfinger? Give it to me."
"No, uh...sir. I'm looking for a...job."
I grinned, remembering it all fondly now. Lyra had certainly gotten her job. I snickered as a more immature part of my mind wondered if I'd soon be getting one of my own.
I certainly wouldn't want to blow my chance.
The End
Author's Note
I lied. It's in my latest blog post; too long otherwise. If you don't want to hear my thoughts on the ending, though, and acknowledgements, its not a very interesting read. Thanks for reading Triple X, and I hope you enjoyed it.