It seemed like such a noble goal to Twilight: bring herbivores and carnivores together by finally destroying the ethical cost of meat.

She would be lauded by history as the greatest agent of harmony, not that it would matter to her. All that would matter to her is that she'd finally performed an act worthy of an Equestrian princess.

All it had to do was work.

Golden Harvest is not jealous. Sure, her neighbor Applejack has a life of adventure and glamor, friends who are national heroes and princesses, an appallingly lucrative share in the local fruit market, and firm, toned flanks. And sure, by contrast, Golden Harvest has been stuck with her snout in the same old muddy patch of carrots pretty much every day since she earned her cutie mark, her best friend is a dentist, and her idea for a 'Carrot Juice Season' never really gained much ground for some reason. But Golden Harvest is not jealous.

Not jealous at all.

She just wishes Applejack would stop being so distracting.

*

Pre-read by Midnight Herald and Communist Bob (no link).

While helping with the harvest for the Ponyville Founding Feast, the Cutie Mark Crusaders stumble upon one of the most terrifying creatures in all of Equestria:

A Turducken.

They soon find themselves running for their lives from this nightmarish, nigh-unstoppable behemoth...

The charming prequel to A Twilight Sparkle Story

The short tale of how I was trapped in a diabolical plot by a certain purple pony, and conclusive evidence that Twilight Sparkle may in fact be deranged.

This story is a sequel to A Twilight Sparkle Story

The story of Twilight Sparkle and her harrowing journey to Fluttershy's cottage, as narrated by the extraordinarily clever and handsome Discord.

When the final exams get submitted from the foals at Ponyville Schoolhouse, Cheerilee has a good feeling that her students payed attention all year long. She's almost looking forward to grading the papers, because she's sure most of the kids aced the test!

It doesn't matter what it is, but Applejack approves!

Rainbow Dash is determined to get married. The most successful apple orchard in Equestrian history is going broke. Pinkie Pie is unemployed.

Twilight is finding all this rather suspicious. Is she really the only honest pony in Ponyville? And can she keep it that way?

After a recent cluster of calamities cursing her farm, Applejack's livelihood stands on the brink of financial ruin. Desperate, she asks Twilight Sparkle for a loan to keep Sweet Apple Acres running.

But when Twilight's unexpected answer inadvertently causes the two mares to butt heads, the stalemate threatens not only Ponyville's food supply but also their friendship.

With the two obstinate mares sticking to their principles come Tartarus or tidal surges, can Pinkie Pie bridge their ideological gap and save Applejack's farm?

Today is Princess Twilight Sparkle’s 500th birthday, and her most faithful student, an earth pony with a familiar name, can’t wait to celebrate!

Notes:
- Cover art by ErinKarsath, used with permission. Check out her DeviantArt page.
- This is a story in the Birthdayverse, and you can find the sequel here.
- Many thanks to my faithful Pre-Reader and all around super-duper best pony, Blood Lord. Go read his story, too!
- This was written during the season 3 hiatus of MLP:FiM.