It was well past three in the morning when Smarty Pants took a running leap into her bubble bath. She hit the soapy water with a splash, and sighed happily as she sank into its warm embrace. Smart Pants loved bubble baths. They were nice. They were super-duper nice with a song.
She closed her eyes and listened as Princess Twilight sang in the private washroom's shower. It was the kind of song a pony would sing when they had a little too much happy inside them and the extra had to come out. She'd only heard the Princess sing once before during a lesson in the royal gardens, when Smarty Pants asked if she knew the names of the all plants. Whoever thought that Leptecophylla juniperina could so sound pretty?
Her head bumped up against the edge of the tub and she heard a small squeak. Smarty Pants loved bubble baths, but Moo-Moo was crazy about them. She fished the little stuffed cow out of her mane and splashed it down beside her. When the tiny tidal wave subsided, Moo-Moo had a bubble beard and that gave the silly little filly an idea.
Twilight stepped out of the shower and did some quick math. It turned out that three in the morning, plus a seven-year-old, plus half a chocolate cake, multiplied by a bubble bath, equaled one big ol' mess. There was water everywhere. Well, almost everywhere. The bathtub itself didn’t seem to have any water in it. Just bubbles.
She watched as an empty bottle of her extravagant new mane conditioner floated across the tidal flats of her washroom floor. It was a gift from the King of Saddle Arabia and its active ingredient was a plant that only bloomed in a single oasis once every hundred years. In large quantities, it was apparently excellent as a bubble bath substitute.
A great mound of bubbles rose up and a tiny pony clambered over the side of the tub. With a wet thud she landed on her rump, but her oversized headdress made of expensive bubbles stayed firmly in place. Smarty Pants scrambled to her hooves before she addressed her audience.
"I am the Queen of Prance!” she declared.
Twilight bowed, as only a Princess could, and the little pony tittered as she spun in place, leaving a wake through the standing water on the floor. Oh Right, thought Twilight, the water.
Princess Twilight stood up and began walking over to her vanity. With each step a purple ripple raced across the face of the water, and with each ripple the water level receded. By the time she was seated in front of her mirror the bathroom was bone dry.
Then, every bubble in the bathroom vanished with a single purple pop and the newly clean Smarty Pants trotted over to her booster seat at the vanity.
Smarty Pants giggled as she combed her hair. Twilight recognized that giggle. It was a sign that her poor pupil was in that beyond-tired state that made children stumble around like tiny adorable drunks. She was going to have to get her to bed before too much longer.
The Goddess of Magic brushed her hair and stifled a yawn. She looked at the hourglass on the vanity and winced. It was now four in the morning.
She had so many plans for her 500th birthday. Plans meticulously laid out in a list she finished weeks ago. She wanted to watch the sunrise from the top of Canterhorn mountain. She wanted to visit Valorhold and check in on her number-one assistant. There was also her invitation from the Crystal Empress for an all-expenses-paid visit to her royal spa. Pity, it would’ve been nice to catch up with Rarity without there being some kind of end-of-the-world scenario at play.
But now it was too late. Or was it too early? Regardless, she’d have to cancel. She needed sleep and that wasn’t something she could just magic up. With a sigh, she resigned herself to her fate, telling herself that There was always next year.
Smarty Pants sat in her booster seat at the vanity next to Princess Twilight and brushed her mane. Her mane felt soft and looked sparkly and smelled like flowers and spice. It made her giggle. That glass bottle of bubble bath was the best thing ever.
She watched Princess Twilight comb her hair with a big golden brush. It was floating around with magic. Smarty Pants heard a noise and turned to watch the bedchamber beyond clean and rearrange itself at the same time. There was lots of her pretty purple floaty magic tonight. Smarty Pants looked at the brush in her own little hooves and felt an icky feeling. She was worried.
She had a question that she wanted to ask. Well, it was more like she had to ask but she was afraid to ask because maybe the Princess would send her away or worse the Princess might hate her if she found out!
“Please don’t hate me!” yelled the little filly, suddenly.
The brush that Twilight was levitating above her head fell and smacked her on the back of her poor battered horn before blinking out of existence. She wasn’t sure where she banished the awful thing, but it wasn’t a danger to her horn anymore.
She looked down at the little blurry brown blob to her left. It was either Smarty Pants or the hamper. Whatever it was, it looked like it needed comforting.
“Smway Puwha...” Twilight shook the static from her head and tried again. “Smarty Pants, why would I hate you?”
Smarty Pants sat in her booster seat and stroked her wavy tail, her face hidden behind her newly combed and sparkly mane.
“Y-You’re a Princess.”
“Yes I am.”
“And you’re a Goddess.”
“Well I don’t like to brag, but—“
“Of Magic.”
“Ah.”
Calmly, Twilight stood up and left the washroom. She scooped Smarty Pants up in her magic and floated her onto the newly relocated bed. It now sat in middle of her royal bed chamber without a headboard.
Twilight sat on the floor next to the bed. She brought her head down on the comforter with a pillow under her chin. She gave Smarty Pants a wink, who grinned to see the Princess sit in such a silly way. They sat in silence as each one waited for the other to say something. The seven-year-old wasn’t as good at waiting as the five-hundred-year-old.
“I’m an earth pony,” she said with some disgust, “Why pick me when I’ll never be able to use magic? Won’t I just… Let you down?” Smarty Pants once again hid behind her mane and squeezed Moo-Moo until the little cow squeaked.
“Oh, Smarty Pants. I’ve taught many ponies over many centuries. It’s not a decision I’ve ever made lightly. In fact I—“
“Have you ever had an earth pony as your student before?”
Twilight smiled. “No Smarty, I haven’t. You are the very first. But I picked you for a good reason. Three good reasons, in fact. I made a list. Would you like to see it?”
Smarty Pants peeked out from behind her mane with a small smile on her face. She loved the Princess’ lists. They were always so meticulous and organized and neatly written and sometimes they had bullet points and checkboxes and—
“Oh yes, Your Majesty.”
An end table galloped over from across the room and a drawer shot open. The Princess reached in with her muzzle and pulled the list out with her teeth. She put it down on the bed and thanked the end table. It bowed politely.
“Ok let’s see here," she said before clearing her voice to continue, "Three Very Good Reasons Why The Earth Pony Smarty Pants Should Be My Personal Protégé”
“Yes, well...” Twilight smiled shyly at Smarty Pants before continuing. “The first reason is rather personal. It’s a secret very few ponies know about. Can I trust you to keep it a secret too?”
“Oh yes, Your Majesty!” exclaimed Smarty Pants as she nodded emphatically because she thought she was very trustworthy.
“You don’t have many friends, do you Smarty Pants?”
The filly curled into a small ball and whimpered.
Twilight grimaced. Smooth, Sparkle.
Acting quickly to undo the hurt she inadvertently caused, she continued. “Did you know that when I was your age I didn’t have many friends either?”
The earth pony whispered a question from behind her mane, “You didn’t?”
“No. In fact I had just the three. My Big Brother Best Friend Forever, Shining Armor. My baby dragon assistant, Spike an-"
"You had a baby dragon assistant?" asked the bewildered filly, poking her head out from behind her tail.
Twilight nodded, before finishing, "And my last friend was a wonderful little doll. A little doll named Smarty Pants.”
The Princess watched as Smarty Pants the pony slowly pulled herself out of her cocoon.
“Really?” she asked, looking up at her mentor.
“Really.”
“Really, truly?”
“Really truly.”
“Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness! That is the most amazing most super nice most funderful thing I have ever heard! You had a doll named Smarty Pants and Smarty Pants is my name! Princess! We have the same name! Not you and I, but Smarty Pants and I have the same name! Was Smarty Pants a good dancer like Moo-Moo? Was she an earth pony? Did she like bubble baths?”
Smarty Pants, the pony, gasped for air, “Was she a beautiful earth pony Princess who liked to read books and eat cake and take bubble baths?!”
She wiggled with excitement and her tail twitched this way and that. For a brief moment, she was in danger of falling off the bed, but Twilight scooped her up in her magic.
“Whoa there, missy. Why don’t you make yourself comfortable and I’ll tell you all about the first Smarty Pants.”
Smarty Pants ran over to the far edge of the bed and grabbed the blanket with her teeth. Then she rolled over and over until she was on the Princess’s side of the bed. Twilight watched as her student worked her way out of her comfy prison.
As soon as her head was free, she shouted “I’m a burrito!” with her eyes lolling about in her head.
“Are you comfortable?” Asked the Princess.
Smarty Pants yawned and nodded in reply.
Twilight gave a small nod of approval before she continued, “So like I was saying, I had a wonderful little doll named Smarty Pants and I loved her very much. She and I would go to the library and study together. She was a donkey and—“
“Just as good!”
“She had her own notepad and quill to help me with my homework. She was my best friend for years, and I never would have finished school without her help. When I learned your name that day in Farrington, I just knew you would be special to me."
"Princess Twilight?”
“Yes, Smarty Pants?”
“That’s a silly reason.”
“Yes, I suppose it is.”
“I like it.”
“Yes, I suppose you would.”
They shared a laugh.
Smarty Pants fidgeted in her wrapper and asked the burning question, “Can I see her?”
Twilight sighed and rubbed her muzzle, “No I… Lost her a long time ago.”
“Oh,” Smarty Pant hugged Moo-Moo a little tighter inside her burrito. The little cow squeaked in agreement. “That’s too bad.”
The little pony watched as the Princess stared at the fireplace, her face unreadable. She sat that way for a really long time. Well, a really long time if you’re seven. Smarty Pants was first again to break the silence.
“So that’s reason number one. What’s next?”
"Hmm? Oh yes." Without looking away from the fire, Twilight spoke. “What can you tell me about your family tree, Smarty Pants?”
Her student turned her head to the side trying to decide what the Princess meant.
“Oh, we don’t have any trees, Your Highness. My daddy works in the mine and my momma sells shoes. I’m sorry.”
Twilight turned away from the fire and smiled at her apprentice. “Silly filly, I meant your family history. Do you know your roots? Where you come from?”
Smarty Pants shook her head.
“Alright, let me tell you a story. Long, long ago, I was the personal student of Princess Celestia. When I finished my studi—“
“Who’s Princess Celestia?”
The two ponies stared at each other like the other had two heads. Then Twilight realized her mistake. Of course Smarty Pants had no idea who Celestia was.
“Princess Celestia is the Sun Goddess and my former mentor. She and her sister, Princess Luna, ruled Equestria before Cadence and I did.”
“Sun Goddess? Did she help the Solar Court lift the sun in the morning, too?”
“Sort of. She did it all by herself.”
"Whoa, there used to be a pony that could raise the sun all by herself?”
“Oh there still is. She and Luna, are just... Hiding.”
“Hiding?”
Her teacher screwed her eyes shut before continuing, “The four of us, Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and I are... Playing hide and seek.”
Princess Twilight put on a fake smile. The kind that said No, I'm not crazy, thanks for asking.
Smarty Pants flopped over onto her side with wide eyes. “Why the hay-”
“It wasn’t my idea! One minute the four of us are having tea a-and the next minute the two of them were running out the door howling with laughter shouting ‘Catch us if you can, catch us if you can!’”
For that last part the Princess crossed her eyes and added an annoying childlike tone to her voice. Smarty Pants tried to process all of this when she was hit with a thought.
“Wait... I’ve never heard of a Princess Celestia or a Princess Luna.”
Twilight flinched and Smarty Pants gave her a look like she caught the Princess with her hoof in the cookie jar. “How long have you all been playing?”
Twilight groaned, “Well... Let's see. It's been a while since I've done the math. I guess Cadence and I gave up looking around 430 years ago, we had a country to run after all. But they’d already been hiding for about twenty years before that.”
“Wow,” Smarty Pants muttered, “They're really good at hide and seek, huh?"
Twilight chuckled humorlessly, "They're the best. So where was I? Ah yes. I was sent to Ponyville with the instruction to make some new friends. And wouldn't you know it I made five of the best friends a girl could ask for.”
Smarty Pants listened with rapt attention as the Princess told her all about her friends. There was Applejack, faithful and strong. She lived on an apple farm named Sweet Apple Acres with her family. Smarty Pants liked the story about her winning the rodeo.
Fluttershy was a lovely pegasus whose true beauty was on the inside. She was a little shy, but she was always there for her friends. Fluttershy cared for many woodland creatures and Smarty Pants thought that sounded nice.
Then there was Rarity the unicorn with her fashion empire. She made the best dresses for all the best ponies. She had a generous heart and Smarty Pants thought she sounded fun. Still, the little pony didn’t like how sad Princess Twilight looked while talking about her.
She heard all about a pink party pony named Pinkie Pie who loved to make everypony laugh and smile. She also made cakes and had a habit of showing up in the strangest places. Smarty Pants thought she was the best pony.
Finally there was the pegasus Rainbow Dash. She was the fastest pony in the whole wide world. Rainbow Dash was fiercely loyal to her friends and she never knew the meaning of the words stop, no, slow down, or acquiesce. But to be fair that last one was hard for Smarty Pants, too.
For the next hour or so, Smarty Pants learned all about her teacher’s life and her adventures. She learned that Princess Cadence wasn’t really her sister, but in fact they were sisters-in-law and that long, long ago she was also Princess Twilight’s babysitter before either Princess was a Princess!
Learning that the Princesses were once not Princesses was a bit too much for Smarty Pants, and she already had to potty. She just didn’t want to interrupt the story. Thank goodness Princess Twilight was so good at teleporting ponies that had to potty.
Smarty Pants learned about an ancient castle in the Everfree Forest that sounded like a fun place to go exploring. She laughed when Fluttershy stole Princess Celestia’s pet phoenix. She gasped and swooned at the invasion that almost ruined Princess Cadence’s wedding to Shining Armor. She stomped excitedly at the retelling of her royal ascension and her return to Canterlot.
“Oh my goodness, I didn’t know that so much could happen to a pony! And to think that I haven’t read about any of that! New stories are oh so exciting!”
Twilight smiled sadly at her protégé, “They were my best friends, Smarty Pants. And I loved them, each and everypony. But the story doesn’t end with my leaving Ponyville. That’s when it becomes the beginning of your story.”
Smarty Pants looked confused, “What do you mean, Your Majesty?”
“Do you know your mother’s mother?”
“Gram-Gram Crazy Pants?”
“Mmhmm. Do you know who her grandmother was? What about her grandmother’s grandmother?”
“No I... I don’t,” she looked away from the Princess. How many ponies had come before her? Was it a lot? Who keeps track of them all? Who knows what they did? Some of them had to have neat things happen to them like the Princess, right?
How much was forgotten? Even the Princess lost her doll and she didn’t know where it was. It was so sad. Maybe Smarty Pants could help find the lost things? The lost ponies?
She looked back at the Princess, her brow wrinkled with resolve, “I don’t know about them, Princess. But I’d like to.”
Princess Twilight smiled proudly at the determination in her pupil’s eyes. She took a gamble on this little filly, and it just might pay off.
“I’m very glad to hear that Smarty Pants. And I’ll be happy to share my research with you another day. But for now, let’s go back a little further. To your great-great-great-great-great-great-grea… you know what? Let’s just say she was your really great-grandmother on your mother’s side. Her name was...”
Twilight leaned forward for emphasis. Smarty Pants leaned forward too.
“Pinkie Pie.”
The little filly burst from her burrito like expired beans and gasped a mighty and incredulous gasp.
“NO WAY!” she gasped.
Smarty Pants spun in a tight circle, stomped her hooves on the comforter, and she crumpled to her side, eager for the Princess to continue.
“What happened?!”
“Well, Pinkie Pie fell in love with a wonderful unicorn stallion from Canterlot... I guess? It was strange. I remember one spring day when the six of us went to Canterlot at Pinkie’s request. She had been missing for days. When she just popped back into existence and said she wanted us to go to Canterlot with her, how could we say no?"
Smarty Pants nodded, and the Princess continued, “We took the train. When we got there, the five of us followed her to a fancy party in the palace gardens. We got in because, hello, I’m a Princess? Yeah. So anyway, we walked into this party and Pinkie Pie walked right up to Fancy Pants and kissed him right on the lips.”
“SHE DIDN’T.”
“She did! Then she hoofed over a wedding invitation. To their wedding. I’d never seen Fancy Pants that flustered before. But Pinkie? Pinkie seemed oddly calm about the whole thing. Like her disappearing, reappearing, and suddenly falling in love with Fancy Pants was all just a foregone conclusion and she just had to go through the motions."
“In the end, they were perfect for each other even if it was strange at the time. After all, if there was a party in Canterlot, either he threw it or he was on the VIP list. Rainbow Dash said it was just Pinkie being Pinkie, but it felt like there was more to it. I guess that’s just one more thing about Pinkie Pie I’ll never know.”
Smarty Pants offered helpfully, “At least everypony was happy, right?”
The Princess pinned her ears back and sighed, “Well... Not everypony. Rarity was furious. She called ‘dibs’ on Fancy Pants a few years earlier.”
Smarty Pants tucked her tail back under herself in response, “Oh... Sorry.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about, Smarty Pants.” Oddly, neither pony seemed very convinced by the statement.
“What happened then?”
“Their whole life together happened. There’s just too much to tell, here and now. They loved each other and they were very happy. Eventually they had three kids; Marsipants, Key Lime, and Sun Spots. Sunny grew up to be Commander of the Solar Court. He was a good friend and companion.
“Fancy Pants passed just before Pinkie Pie, who lived to the ripe old age of 83. She probably would have found a way to live forever, but she was so excited about planning her own funeral reception that she just couldn’t wait. I remember the party. As soon as she pulled the last batch of cupcakes out of the oven, she was gone.”
Twilight heard a sniffle and looked down at her little pony, trying not to cry in spite of herself.
“Hay now, no tears. Pinkie Pie wanted everypony to Smile, Smile, Smile. No pony was allowed to be sad at the party. We all Pinkie Promised. So you’re not allowed to be sad now.” She smiled at Smarty Pants and used a hoof to lift her little face.
“83 years is a long time for a pony who lives life to the fullest.”
Smarty Pants wiped her tears on Moo-Moo and cleared her throat. She was a strong earth pony and her daddy said that strong earth ponies don’t cry.
“S-so what’s the third reason?”
“Hang on Smarty, I’m not done with the second item on the list. On your mother’s side you’re directly related to Pinkie Pie and Fancy Pants. But on your father’s side you’re also related to Applejack and Fluttershy.”
“I am?!”
“That’s right! Fluttershy married Applejack’s brother, Big Mac. Big Mac was the handsomest, kindest stallion in all of Ponyville and... A perfect fit for Fluttershy. They were both very quiet and unassuming but what wasn't said spoke volumes. They loved each other very much.” With a blush, she quietly added, “As often as they could.”
Smarty Pants tilted her head to the side, “What do you mean?”
“Well, the Apple family was already known for being rather... Prolific. And Fluttershy loved anything cute and cuddly. Doubly so if it was a baby cute and cuddly something. So... You know... One thing led to another and they had a beautiful baby girl. Then a baby boy. Then twins. Then another girl. Final tally, they ended up having twenty-three children.”
“Whoa,” Smarty Pants said, letting her mouth hang open. Sitting there in silence for a moment, she pinned her ears back and wrapped her tail tightly behind her. “Ouch,” she added.
The blush on Twilight’s face flared back into life. Just what kind of books was Smarty Pants reading in the library?
“Ouch, indeed. Sweet Apple Acres had so many mouths to feed that they had to annex a part of the Everfree Forest. But they were never hurting for a helping hoof. To this day the largest concentration of Apples in Equestria can still be found around Ponyville. It’s a small wonder that you can trace your lineage to those two, most of the ponies alive today have Fluttershy and Big Mac lurking about in the roots of their family tree.”
“So then Pinkie Pie is my really great gram-gram and Fluttershy is also my really great gram-gram and Applejack is my really great auntie?”
“That’s right Smarty Pants. That in and of itself isn’t reason enough to make you my student, though. It’s not just that you’re decended from them. It’s that I see so much of them in you. Whether you’re eating cake, taking care of Moo-Moo, or breaking something with your freaky earth pony strength.” Twilight gave the little pony a wry smile and hoof-jab with that last comment.
Smarty Pants grinned back with a happy growl.
“You remind me of the girls. I see you and I see my friends looking back through you. And as the Goddess of Magic, you better believe me when I say that Friendship is the greatest magic of all.”
Smarty Pants leapt at Princess Twilight with a roar and wrapped her long neck in a hug. Twilight nuzzled right back.
“Are you ready to hear the final reason on my checklist, Smarty Pants?”
Smarty Pants climbed back down on the bed and brought her head to rest on the Princess’ pillow. Her wavy mane tickled Twlight’s chin when she spoke. “Oh yes, Your Majesty.”
“Do you remember when we first met in Farrington, eight weeks ago?”
The earth pony nodded, once again tickling Her Royal Highness. She remembered. She remembered how she was on her way to the bookstore in the Market District when a big pretty purple pony walked out of its revolving door. She was the most magical most splendid most super nice looking pony that Smarty Pants had ever seen.
She also had two ponies with her in golden armor who didn’t look so super nice. They looked kinda grumpy. She also also remembered that the pretty purple pony had saddlebags that must have been full of neat books!
Twilight Sparkle also recalled the day she met Smarty Pants. They were on their way to make her first Royal visit to the United Gryphon Kingdoms in six years. Twilight and her royal guards, her two travelling companions, had stopped by the border city of Farrington for fresh supplies. She found the city quite to her liking. Rustic. It reminded her of a gruffer, surlier Ponyville. The ore refineries were a bit noisy, though.
The townsfolk were nice enough and they were quite accommodating even though she was just passing through. She had already resupplied and they made their way to the north gate. But she came across a griffon statue in front of the Market District and turned in. It was a just a whim, really, but the smile on the statue looked so welcoming; she couldn’t help but explore the city a little bit.
The central plaza of the Market District was full of hustle and bustle. She was surprised to notice that most ponies who saw her would scurry about their business, giving her a wide berth. It was pleasantly refreshing not having to deal with a mob of well-wishers.
In the plaza, she found a store called Mystic Spiral's Magic Artifact Emporium. The name was a mouthful, but the store owner knew her stuff. It was surprising to find such a wealth of magical artifacts in a city populated mostly by earth ponies and pegasi. Then again, maybe it wasn’t all that surprising, seeing as magic would have been a rare commodity. Maybe she should talk with the mayor about opening a Center for Magical Studies here in Farrington and shore up the unicorn population.
As she exited Mystic Spiral's Magic Artifact Emporium she was delighted to spot a well-worn store front across the way, proudly named Page Turner’s in big bold letters. It was one of Twilight’s favorite things. A bookstore. A second-hoof bookstore that just had to be full of forgotten treasures. She also remembered the look on the poor owner’s face when she got stuck in the revolving door in her eagerness to enter the shop.
It was all worth it, though. She picked up a few local history books and a fresh well of ink. The visibly shaken shop clerk wouldn’t take her money until she threatened to turn him into a frog if he didn’t.
Twilight remembered leaving the bookstore. She walked past a few gawking ponies and made her way past the smiling griffon statue again. Somehow, walking past it from this angle made it look like it was sneering instead. She stifled a shiver at the memory.
She remembered the sudden shocked gasps from the little ponies around her. She looked about to find the cause of the commotion, but found nothing. She looked to her guards who just shrugged. Then her eyes found a little brown earth pony on her belly a few feet away.
She was idly kicking her back legs in the air behind her and resting her chin on a forehoof. With her free hoof she turned the pages of a book. It wasn’t until she noticed the saddlebags next to the little filly, her saddlebags, that she figured out what had happened.
She remembered all of this, but she didn’t remember the feeling of the saddlebags being removed from her back. She looked behind her and saw that they were indeed missing. It was inexplicable. It was incredible. It was presumptuous to the nth degree. It was the sort of thing she hadn’t seen a pony do since her friend Pinkie Pie was alive.
Twilight remembered approaching the little pony who was humming happily to herself and the conversation that followed.
“Is it a good book?” she asked.
The little pony turned to face the recently burgled and lit up with a grin, “Oh yes, ma’am! I haven’t read this one before. It’s all about these things called the Elema- Elements of Harmony! Have you ever heard of them? They used to be ponies and before that they weren’t, but now they’re missing! That’s too bad because they sound super-nice.”
Princess Twilight sat down in the middle of the dirty cobblestone street to have a conversation with the little pony about books and the Elements of Harmony. Twilight was about to broach the subject on the proper ways to ask for permission before borrowing another pony's belongings, when she heard something that almost bowled her over.
“Smarty Pants? Smarty Pants, where areSPARKLE’S GARTERS, IT'S THE PRINCESS.” A light-green earthpony with a red horseshoe for a cutiemark broke through the crowd and stumbled into a bow.
“Oh Princess, we’re so terribly sorry. Smarty Pants, tell the nice Princess how sorry you are.” The mare scooped the little filly into her forehooves, inspecting her for damage like a piece of fruit at the market.
“Momma, this is my new friend! We’re talking about books!”
“That’s nice –I’m so sorry Your Highness— come along Smarty –She’s like this whenever she gets her hooves on a new book— I’m sure the Princess has important things to do and we can’t be bothering royalty! –A thousand pardons Your Grace— Oh what will your father say?”
The filly’s mother spouted half-hearted apologies and dragged the happily jabbering pony away from the Princess, back towards the main street through the city.
A voice, calm and serene, called out, “Just a moment,” And the mare stopped dead in her tracks.
Princess Twilight put on her best No, I’m not going to eat you smile and walked up to the trembling pony. The small crowd began dispersing with a just stern look from the captain of her guard, Quick Name.
“What is your name, My Little Pony?”
“Sure Hooves, Your Majesty.”
“Sure Hooves. And did I hear you right when you said that your daughter’s name was Smarty Pants?”
“Y-yes, Your Majesty.” She faltered, “I-if she broke anything, Your Eminence, we’ll happily replace it! That is, if it can be replaced. Oh my goodness Smarty, you didn’t break anything irreplaceable did you?!”
“She did nothing of the sort, I assure you. Your daughter fascinates me, Sure Hooves,” Twilight recalled exchanging a brief glance with her guards as they returned to her side, “Come, will you two join us for tea? I’m afraid I must insist.”
Smarty Pants remembered getting tea with the Princess. Her momma let her have two pieces of carrot cake from the café and she never had two pieces before. It was nice. She remembered how the Princess left to go visit the nice Grphyons to the north and how she said she’d come back later.
She remembered how her momma hugged her extra extra tight that night when she was tucked into bed. She remembered how her daddy came to say goodnight to her and how she was a good girl and how he was proud of her. She remembered that he cried, even though he tried to hide it. Daddy was a strong earth pony.
“I remember all that, Princess. The carrot cake was delicious! Do you think we can visit Farrington again soon and get some carrot cake? Maybe... Maybe we could see my parents, too?”
She drooped and Twilight noticed how the warmth of her wavy mane fell away from her chin.
“I miss them,” Smarty Pants said in a frail voice.
Twilight sighed. Smarty Pants was so many things. Her reading comprehension and retention were off the charts. Her sneakiness was second-to-none. She was sturdy, strong willed, and good natured. She was also a homesick seven-year-old girl.
“How would you like to visit them this weekend, Smarty Pants?”
Smarty Pants lit up and nuzzled the Princess, “That would be super nice, Your Majesty.”
“Then we’ll make it happen, Smarty. You can practice your hoofmareship and write them a letter tomorrow telling them all about it.”
Smarty Pants nodded, and Twilight laugh quietly when the filly’s red mane once again tickled her chin.
“So anyway, reason three. Reason three on my list is you.”
“Me?” Smarty Pants asked before yawning tiredly.
“That’s right, Smarty Pants. You. Your heart, your strength, your abilities... You.”
Smarty Pants got out from under her teacher’s chin to give Princess Twilight a puzzled look.
“Friendship is the greatest magic of all. But second on the list? The second greatest magic of all is Knowledge. Third is teleportation, but knowledge is definitely number two. I know in my heart of hearts that you are capable in both the first and second greatest magics. So no more fretting about being ‘just an earth pony’ ok?”
Smarty Pants nodded.
“Smarty Pants, in these carefree times, ponies don't study history. Even their own history. You’ve never heard of Princess Celestia or Princess Luna? That’s because most ponies would rather forget the unhappy parts of their past. But as a country we can't afford to think like that. This is a big world full of hidden dangers. Dangers just waiting for the precise catalyst to set off a terrifying chain reaction.”
Princess Twilight stood up to her full height and extended her wings. She took a step away from the bed and Smarty Pants watched on in awe.
“What Equestria needs… What I need, is a hero. A research hero. I need somepony who can hunt down the mysteries and unfortunate truths that lurk in the shadows.”
Smarty Pants’ eyes widened in anticipation.
“Somepony who will do more than just find information and make theories. Somepony who can also act on what they discover. Somepony brave enough, smart enough, and sneaky enough to get into all sorts of trouble, and find her way out too.”
The excitement coming off of Smarty Pants was palpable.
“But finding just the right pony for the job has been very hard for Princess Cadence and I. A few have those qualities, but none of them have had the most important quality.”
Twilight reached forward and tapped Smarty Pants in the chest, “Heart. We need a pony who’s brave enough, smart enough, sneaky enough, and kind enough to do what she does not for herself but for the good of everypony everywhere. In all my years of searching for somepony like that, you are the first to have all those qualities.”
Smarty Pants was on the verge of hyperventilating when the Princess concluded her speech with a question.
“Do you want to be my hero, Smarty Pants?”
Before Smarty Pants could answer, a blinding flash of white startled the Princess. It startled her because it wasn’t her magic that caused it.
She blinked away the spots and saw Smarty Pants standing on her bed, staring at her brand new cutiemark, an open book with a magnifying glass over top of it.
Smarty Pants stared at it for a really long time. A really long time if you’re seven. She turned to the Princess and stood up on her wobbly back legs. Moo-Moo dropped to the bed. Tears fell down her cheek and she reached out for a hug.
It was a nice hug. It meant a lot. It said a lot.