• Member Since 9th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen May 5th, 2019




While helping with the harvest for the Ponyville Founding Feast, the Cutie Mark Crusaders stumble upon one of the most terrifying creatures in all of Equestria:

A Turducken.

They soon find themselves running for their lives from this nightmarish, nigh-unstoppable behemoth...

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 50 )

That was brilliant! Well done!

Perfect fic for Thanksgiving. :pinkiehappy:

Doesn't this sound kinda like that ManBearPig episode of South Park?:derpyderp2:

I might come back to this fic, someday

3541498 Glad you liked it!

And Pinkie said their diets were strictly vegetarian.

At least until they make you angry.

Or unless you're a pig.

3541559 "Freakish unholy fire-breathing poultry chimera" counts as a vegetable. It's true. :ajsmug:

They're just lucky it wasn't a Tofurkey! Those things are really nasty.

3541564 OH MY GOD TOFURKEY. Excuse me, I need to wash my eyes with holy water.

Summon the Super Ultra Mega Chicken..

SHHHH.... He is legend.

Anyway, I've seen this combination poultry on TV and it always struck me as disgusting. Anyone actually try one?

Also, we need more Thanksgiving themed fics. Halloween and Christmas get all the love.

3541646 It's really hard to come up with a proper Thanksgiving theme, but I tried my best. :)

And I've never actually tried Turducken. I can't get past the whole "shoving a chicken up a duck's ass and shoving the duck up a turkey's ass" thing. And the whole thing looks really gross.



Shizzle. I'll make the crazizzleberry dressing and a mess of bizatch-slapped potatoes, yo!

Only if you put it on a pizza.

I've got me some mad Regular Show vibes here

The only six-legged poultry I want to see is the one on the post-game show for that Thanksgiving football game.


I was going to ask why the turducken could breathe fire, and then I thought... why wouldn't a turducken breathe fire? :twilightsmile:

3542633 Oh hey! Didn't realize you were on FiMF. Instafollow and I'll read both of your stories tonight. Or sometime this week. :)

I loled.

It's not a Farfetch'd, it's a Turducken! And you caught it! Awesome!

olgame.tw/home/attachment/201107/5/47493_1309875122KMGM.jpg I see wat u did thar


A good silly-entertaining short-story.

As for turduckens, they are actually better than most would think, despite its appearance. While the turducken itself was popularized by American football commentator John Madden, the cooking process for it is actually a very old trick (circa Europe's Middle Ages) of stuffing one bird inside another, using an older (tough stringy meat) bird as the exterior "cooking insulator" and a younger bird stuffed inside. The cooking result keeps the interior bird moist and tender while the exterior bird's own juices doubly infuse the interior bird's own taste.

Obviously this is not "cheap" since you are using two birds and only eating one-&-a-quarter at most (albeit, you would not be eating much of the older tougher bird anyway). Much of the exterior bird winds up unused or tossed out (since it is generally charred or dried out by the high-heat roasting, the still-edible parts used as trailings &/or side-dishes. Variants, such as the turducken, include stuffing different meats into the exterior bird, to mix their flavors (example: stuffing sausages into a chicken, or duck liver into a hen, or pork chops into a turkey, etc.). There are less graphic, and more palatable, versions than that of a turducken.

So remember: when eating something like a turducken, you want to go for the innermost meat(s).

Hope this has been an enlightening culinary comment, and will inspire you expand your food-eating horizons :twilightsmile: .

Just one question: what did they do with its golden wishbone?

3547946 Alas, that is a tale which is lost to the mists of time.

Happy Thanksgiving. :twilightsmile:

3550007 To you as well, and thanks for the plug!

They kept it...
If another one ever shows up, they'll be ready...

3550526 But only one appears every million years

This is the perfect fanfic for Thanksgiving. A fire-breathing, exploding egg-laying, turkey-duck-chicken hybrid that goes "quobblck"! That was so ridiculous. I don't know about them eating it at the end though. Ponies don't eat meat. Still, a mighty fine story. :pinkiehappy:

3551752 Glad you enjoyed it!

And FYI: ponies DO, in fact, eat meat. It isn't good for them, but they DO eat it.

3551980 Horses WILL eat anything that's presented to them (or that they can steal from their owners) that looks or smells tasty. This does include meat. There are well-documented instances of ranchers going through the drive-thru at a burger joint with their horse riding shotgun and buying the horse a cheeseburger. Or offering horses bits of bacon or ham. It's a good treat for them, and they like it, but their digestive systems aren't really intended to process large volumes of meat, so...yeah.

3552114 ... Didn't know that. :twilightsheepish: You learn something new everyday. :twilightsmile:

3551835 That explains y my horse bit my arm yesterday :fluttershbad:

Pinkie shrugged. "You wouldn't believe how dangerous life on a rock farm is."

No wonder Trixie was quickly drunk on the dark side...especially if the theory about working under the Pie family is true.

3552114 Sounds a lot like chocolate and dogs...

That was funny as hell! :twilightsmile:

Turducken: QUOBBLCK!!

Me: "Oh Crap!" *Runs"


A rainbow blur descended from the sky, hovering in front of the Crusaders. "Hey, Squirt! Heard you yelling from way up there, what's goin' oHOLY HORSEAPPLES, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!"

"Pinkie Pie says it's a Turducken, we ticked it off down at the pond by the pumpkin patch, it's been chasing us all over town and it breathes fire!"

Yes, it breathes fire. Get over it.

Happy Thanksgiving every brony.

3541564 OH MY GOD! :rainbowlaugh: Ugh.. I might need to dunk my head in some water to keep from laughing until I get sick.

I remember my first encounter with a Turducken. In my nightmares.

This makes way too much sense.

exploded harmlessly.

Nope. Not gonna say anything

I had a pet turducken (according to autocorrect, that's a word...) once. It was blind so all I had to do was pick it up and it shat grenades and spat fire. Good times... Good times...

Unicorns can't do any of that!

Lyra: I can fire magic and... Make explosion noises with my mouth?

Just not the same

Roasted Turducken for Spike.

hehehe Finally got around to reading this. Funny stuff.




It's not a Farfetch'd, it's a Turducken! Pinkie Pie chimed in as she bounced up to the group.

This line is awesome!!!!!!!! This is why I love this story!!!

I know I'm late to the party, but this story was flipping hilarious. Loved it!

That was an unusual ending.

You're an unusual ending. :trixieshiftright:

Goofy story but in a good way. :rainbowlaugh::twilightsmile:

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