Ponyville has grown boring for Rainbow Dash. Sometimes, an entire week will pass between monster attacks.

What's a mare of action to do when her neighbors are all celebrating apples and hard work? When the weather bureau insists on gentle showers and sunny days, instead of something more exciting?

She has to find adventure, obviously. And when an airship captained by a pegasus pony flies through Ponyville one lazy summer day, dragging a flying iceberg behind it, Rainbow Dash realizes this might be the opportunity she's been waiting for.

But nopony ever said adventuring was easy.

Hanna, the CEO of Hofvarpnir Studios, just won the contract to write the official My Little Pony MMO. Hanna has built an A.I. Princess Celestia and given her one basic drive: to satisfy everybody's values through friendship and ponies. Princess Celestia will satisfy your values through friendship and ponies, and it will be completely consensual.

To Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia, it is a simple surprise visit to Canterlot. To the ponies of the Equestrian Civil Service, it is twenty-four hours of chaos, politics, weaponized dessert, politics, underhooved manipulation of media, politics, and things batrachian and tentacular. Who said bureaucracy isn't exciting?

Seriously, a lot.

(Now with a Spanish translation by the generous SPANIARD KIWI!)

You'd think that being trapped in stone would mean that, if nothing else, I could get some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, it seems that Celestia has other ideas.

She has appointed these ponies... these 'Keepers', as she calls them, to keep me entertained during my incarceration.

Honestly? I'd prefer the boredom.

Cover art by matrosha123
Spanish Translation by SPANIARD KIWI found here

A collection of short stories. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. All, hopefully, about what it means to be human.

Except, you know, with ponies.

I'm afraid of Changeling: Drone 42531 is insecure and decides he needs to see a professional, whether or not the professional wants to see him. [Comedy] [Random]

One thousand and one: A family keeps a long vigil, regardless of the cost. [Sad]

Uncoordinated: Twilight Sparkle and the Cutie Mark Crusaders conduct an experiment. Accidentally. [Comedy] [Random]

But the Greatest of These: Every pony has to grow up someday. Every dragon, too. [Slice of Life]

Wonder: Pinkie Pie's farm is grey. The sky is grey. Her sister is grey. The world is grey. Until, one day, it isn't. [Slice of Life]

The Apple of my Eye: Apple Bloom finally gets her cutie mark. It's not what she wanted. [Comedy] [Random]

Bookworm: Twilight Sparkle finds an odd message in her books. [Dark]

At the End of the Day: Just what does Pinkie Pie do in her free time? [Slice of Life]

The House at the End of the World: Some promises shouldn't be kept. [Adventure] [Dark]

Pantone Perfect: Rarity and Twilight Sparkle enjoy a refreshing argument at the spa. [Comedy] [Random]

Medium Rare: In which we learn the secret, scarring horror that was Fluttershy's first experience with a dragon. [Comedy] [Random]

One Thousand Flowers: How long do gifts take to grow? [Slice of Life]

Tempest: A pegasus teaches his son the nature of the rain. [Slice of Life]

No Natural Predators: The days have grown longer as the world winds down. [Adventure] [Dark]

Six More Weeks: The first day of Spring is a wonderful time to be a pony. Just make sure you get the date right. [Comedy]

Derecho: A daughter starts a long quest in a forgotten city.[Slice of Life]

O Death, where is thy sting? Human Flash Sentry travels across the multiverse. [Adventure]

The Lotus Eaters: Heaven is different things to different people. A Friendship is Optimal vignette.[Slice of Life]

Tour of Duty: Duty can be lighter than a feather, or heavier than a mountain. [Slice of Life]

Nickel-Iron-Cobalt: An explorer discovers a world without life. Perhaps. [Anthro][Adventure]

(Based on prompts from the Thirty Minute Pony Stories tumblr. All written in 30 minutes – give or take – unless otherwise noted.)

(on boredom in our modern society and its effects on our ability to be)

Written for the Science Fiction Contest II!

Remember when my fimfic flair used to say 'they might as well be humans'? That was directly inspired by a comment FanOfMostEverything left- on my last sci fi contest submission. I don't think I've changed much.

Twilight Sparkle is a gifted student and scholar. When she attempts to harness her creative side by writing a science-themed sensual romance novel, however, things rapidly get out of hoof. Can her friends stage an intervention before she humiliates herself (and them) at a prestigious literature recital?

No. No, they cannot.

She is as beautiful and graceful as the moon, and just as hard to reach. He is a young artist with much to learn about the world. When he accepts her challenge to create an artistic masterpiece, will he win her heart, or learn a terrible lesson in the nature of beauty and love?

The Long Patrol is an extension of the crown. It brings the rule of law and the princess's banner to the far reaches of the kingdom, the places where harmony fades and the wild chaos of nature still reigns.

In times past, all the tribes took part in the patrol. Today, it is mostly pegasi and a few gryphons. The distances they travel are simply too vast for anyone without wings.

Like most gryphons who join, I wanted to get away from my kind. I dreamed of the adventures I would have and the friends I would make. I certainly got those.

I just wish the price weren't so high.

[My entry for the EqD Summer "Outsider Insight" contest.]