I'm Afraid of Changeling (and other short stories)

by Cold in Gardez

Not Actually a Euphemism

The girls (and Spike!) stared up at the enormous door blocking their exit from Tartarus. The arcane runes and symbols carved deep into the stone were dead now, powerless without the magic that animated Equestria. And without their power, the doors would never open again – they were trapped in the subterranean hell with all of Equestia’s exiled monsters and villains. The cages stacked all around them, filled with dolorous beasts and somnolent giants, were their new home.

“We… I’m afraid we might be stuck here,” Rarity said. Her pale coat was smeared with ash and dust. “Without our magic, there’s no way to open the doors!”

“Isn’t there, like a secret button or a secret lever we can pull to get out?” Pinkie asked. “Or maybe a secret admirer who knows the secret to escaping from Tartarus?”

Twilight sighed. “I’m afraid not. The most powerful villains and monsters of all time are trapped here, and without our magic, so are we. Unless…” She trotted over to the nearest cage, a small little kennel holding a dispirited cockatrice. It hissed at her and stared death at her, but the magic in its gaze had long since fled. “These creatures might be losing their magical powers, but there’s still a magic that makes up what they are. Maybe we can borrow some of that!”

“Awesome!” Dash exclaimed. “But, uh… how do you borrow magic? Is that like a spell you cast?”

“Sort of.” Twilight let out a deep breath and surveyed the collected monsters. They all seemed so placid and tired. Even the bugbear that had given them such a fight all those years ago sagged in its cage. She felt sorry for it. “It’s kind of like how changelings absorb love. Girls, I’ll need all your help for this. Can I count on you?”

There was a chorus of affirmation. She felt them squeeze in around her, and they shared a hug as one. That was all the answer she needed.

“Alright.” She opened the cockatrice’s cage and carefully lifted it out. Its serpent’s coils wrapped around her forelegs weakly. “Let’s get started!”

* * *

Hours later, they were mostly done. Only a few of the larger monsters remained.

“Ugh.” Twilight groaned. She could barely move. “I… I don’t think…”

“Shh, shh… You can do it, Twilight.” Rarity held a cool glass of water to her lips. “Soon you’ll have all their magic.”

“You’re doing great!” Pinkie said. She opened the manticore’s cage and pulled it out. “What do you want with this one? I’m thinking some sort of dry rub, maybe like a Jamaican Jerk?”

“Too spicy,” Twilight said. She let out a little belch and blushed. “Sorry. Do you have any more teriyaki?”

Pinkie fished around in her mane, finally producing a dark bottle of Kikoman’s. “Yup! Should be enough left for a nice basting.”

“Okay.” Twilight focused on her breathing. Her stomach was so full it was fit to burst, but she still didn’t have all the magic she needed. “I’m gonna take a nap, okay? Wake me when it’s ready.”

* * *

Finally, hours more later, they had borrowed the last of the monster’s magical energy, and Twilight was ready to open the door. She waddled over to the door, where her friends joined her. They held their hooves together, and Twilight focused all her energy on her horn. Her head went light and the room swam, but she fought through the sensations to call forth the magic that would open the door. I can do this! she thought. It’s working!

Nothing happened. Twilight frowned.

“Is… was something supposed to happen?” Rainbow asked.

“I… I think so?” Twilight racked her brains. Maybe having a full stomach made it harder to focus her magic? “Gosh, I’ve never done this, you know. Maybe it’s not like changelings absorb love?”

“What? What?!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “We just spent hours watching you eat all those monsters—”

“Borrow their power, darling.”

“—and we’re still stuck here? Now there’s no food for us! We’re going to starve!” So saying she flung herself back at the door, crashing into it hooves-first. It didn’t budge, and she topped to the floor. “We’re going to starve!”

“Wait,” Fluttershy said. “Didn’t these doors open inward?”

Everypony paused. After a moment Applejack walked to the doors, got a good grip on one of the dead runes, and pulled. With the shriek of stone grinding on stone, the doors swung open, revealing the cool, crisp air and golden light of an Equestrian sunset.

“Huh.” Twilight stared up at the starry sky just beyond the gates of hell. “Well, uh, at least we learned a valuable lesson, right? Don’t, um, eat a bunch of monsters to try and gain their magical powers in order to open a door before trying to open it manually, because it might just open in the direction you aren’t expecting?”

Silence. Finally, Rarity sighed.

“I suppose, darling. I just wish we didn’t have to keep learning that lesson.”

Author's Note:

We were all thinking it.

Comments

[Noc]

We were all thinking it.

I wasn’t. But I’m glad … I think? … you did.

[Shrink Laureate]

[Cerulean Blue]

Rainbow Dash: "Aww, but they're so tasty. Why stop now?"

[superfun]

Actually, no, I wasn't thinking that at all.

[Light Striker]

… I see.

[Billblok]

I wasn't thinking that...

[FanOfMostEverything]

I can say with confidence that I was not, in fact, thinking any part of that.

Not even the fact that they were pushing on the pull side. Kind of embarrassing, that.

[SIGAWESOME]

Twilight! Celestia was saving those for the big Ragnarök cookout!

[PonyDragon]

“Wait,” Fluttershy said. “Didn’t these doors open inward?”

Heh.
I can actually see that happen.

We were all thinking it.

Safdy no... And now I feel kinda stupid.

[orp]

Twilight misremembered. It's not borrowing magic that's a murder, it's the interest rates.

[Tetrominon]

"Snow goons are bad news!"

[River Babble]

9592410
Thats a lovely thought, thanks. :)

[Morphy]

So... which monster tastes like bacon?

[PresentPerfect]

amazing XD