The Cutie Mark Crusaders’ clubhouse was normally a bright and cheerful place, filled with laughing, shouting fillies, drunk on life and youth and the promise of tomorrow. Rarely did a day go by in Ponyville that some harebrained scheme was not hatched there, and when the inevitable chaos and destruction that followed the three fillies around like a duckling after its mother finally occurred, often involving pine needles and tree sap, there were few tears to be found. Most ponies simply smiled, and maybe thought back to their own days, waiting for fate to show its mark on their flanks.
Today was not one of those days.
Utter, unearthly silence filled the treehouse this day. The three fillies inside said nothing, did nothing, barely breathed, so horrified were they. Only the rustle of leaves outside, and the faint whistle of the wind through the rafters separated their scene from a lifeless painting.
Something terrible had happened.
The first of them had received her cutie mark.
And it was bad.
“It’s not that bad,” Sweetie Belle said, finally breaking the long silence. It was a lie, of course, but she was already learning from her sister. Her voice barely quavered.
“Your family will, uh, really love it. And you. They’ll still love you. Probably.” Scootaloo was not as good a liar. She couldn’t look into Apple Bloom’s eyes as she spoke.
“Definitely. They’ll definitely still love you.”
“Oh, yeah.” Scootaloo tried to smile. Somewhere, a mirror broke. “It’s, uh, awesome! And radical! I’d love to have a mark like that.”
“Me too!” Sweetie Belle piped in. “I’d show it to Rarity, and she’d be like, ‘Oh Sweetie, that’s a wonderful cutie mark! I won’t disown you or hate you forever for it!’”
“Girls, ah appreciate it, but–” Apple Bloom spoke like one already dead. Granite held more life than her voice.
“Pinkie would throw a party for me if I got that mark!” Scootaloo broke in. “I mean, she might not know why, but she’d probably throw me one! Cuz she’s cool! Just like you!”
“Really cool.”
“Super cool. The coolest!”
“Girls, you can stop. It’s too late.” Apple Bloom set her head on her crossed hooves. “I just want you ta know, I really enjoyed bein’ your friend.”
“Oh, uh, we loved—love! We love being your friend too! We’re still your friend!” Scootaloo sat beside Apple Bloom and draped a wing over her back. “Friends forever!”
“She’s gonna kill me.” Apple Bloom poked at the blemish on her flank, shuddered, and turned away.
“She’s not going to kill you,” Sweetie Belle said, settling down on Apple Bloom’s other side. “She’ll still love you, because you’re her sister, and sisters are family, and families don’t kill each other. Often. I think.”
Silence again.
Outside, the afternoon’s light began to dim. Shadows lengthened across the woods, and the quiet sound of farmwork outside drew to an end. Soon their sisters would come looking for them, and then the world would end.
“I don’t understand.” Apple Bloom sniffed. “It was just a glass. That’s not a talent! How do you get a cutie mark just from drinking a glass?”
The others had no answer. Across the room, the detestable glass lay spilled on the wood where Apple Bloom had dropped it in the first moments of her horror.
“It’ll be fine. Really.” Scootaloo said. She gave the glass a wary look, and then turned back to her friend. “Right, Sweetie?”
“Huh?” Sweetie started, jerking her gaze away from the glass. “Oh, uh, right! Applejack will maybe be surprised, a little, but that’s all! No killing. Not even a little bit.”
“Ya... ya think?”
“Y-yeah! Cross my heart!”
“Hope to fly!” Scootaloo flapped her little wings.
“Stick a cupcake in my eye!” They mimed the gesture and turned their smiles – now a bit hopeful – to their friend.
Apple Bloom sighed. “Ah guess. Will you two come with me?”
Scootaloo leaned back. That sounded dangerous. “Uh, this sounds kinda personal. Maybe you should just...” She caught sight of Sweetie Belle’s glare and stopped. “I mean, uh, of course we will! Just be sure to tell her in public with lots of witnesses, okay?”
“It’s not your fault. It was the glass’s fault,” Sweetie said. All three glared at the glass again.
“Thanks girls.” Apple Bloom pressed her cheek against each of their’s in turn, and then rose to her hooves. She wobbled a bit, but didn’t pause as she walked to the door, followed a few steps behind by her friends.
The orange on her flanks practically glowed in the evening light.
We all knew this day would come. You aren't fooling anyone, Scootaloo!
I love the idea of Applebloom getting a cutie that has nothing to do with apples.
I have to stop TMP to work on longfic, and Gardez picks it up
So it goes!
Hooray! short things
Do you really mean finished in 30 minutes? Or just the first draft? I want to know how inadequate I should feel.
2232234
I'm not sure if I'm cheating or not, but I don't edit them until the 30 (or so) minutes of writing is complete. Of course, since they're so short, the editing only takes another 20 minutes at most.
Honestly, the hardest part is staring at the screen, trying to think of a story based on the prompt. You can spend as much time as you want doing that.
I was split between pears and oranges.
Story summary:
Ha! Y'know, it's not too bad... she can always find a job with the Oranges in Manehattan.
Oh god, I'm dying. At first I thought it as going to be a cutie mark of a dick. Then of a cider mug. An orange, though? Applejack really is gonna kill her.
I don't see why oranges as a cutie mark are so bad.
Granted, it's not an apple but the Manehatten Oranges were at the Apple Family reunion and nobody seemed to mind.
Saw the end a mile away, but that's not a bad thing.
Look on the bright side, Bloom. If AJ doesn't kill you, you'll probably get to spend a lot more time with Babs!
Great shorts thus far. They're fun and easy to read. I may have to start writing some myself.
I have to admit, this one fell a little flat for me, largely because of the ending. I can't see this as that big a deal, given that it has precedent in canon. There are also some bits of dialogue that don't make much sense to me, specifically Scootaloo's aborted use of the past tense in describing her friendship with Apple Bloom. I can imagine how the CMC could get broken up when the fillies start getting cutie marks, but the implication is that part of Scootaloo feels like the particular mark Apple Bloom got would cause the dissolution of their friendship, and I can't see why anyone other than the Apple family would really care (except inasmuch as Apple Bloom's name becomes a bit of a bad joke).
The writing was, of course, excellent, and I enjoyed the slow build in tension. The use of language was great. I think I'm really going to need to come back and read these again later. I scroll up to look at details in the chapter, and the descriptiveness in the sentences just jumps out at me, despite my not having noticed much of it the first time through. There's so much here. I'm really looking forward to reading more of your work.
2234063
I think Scootaloo was already referring to AB as deceased, not as a "former friend" but as a dead friend.
They all thought AJ was going to kill her.
Honestly? I was expecting the second (Well, third, depending on how you count 3/10[1]) coming of Discord. Not an orange.
I'm not sure which is worse.
[1] I haven't seen it yet, hence my waffle-y phrasing. (I know, I know...)
2234063 As stated, my concern is Discord. The phrasing of how she spilled the glass isn't written as in "she was drinking a glass of orange juice, and she spilled the glass of orange juice" (she spilled the orange juice). The phrasing was as in "she was drinking an orange juice of glass, and she spilled the orange juice of glass"[2] (she spilled the glass). The orange-as-a-cutie-mark, then, isn't so much the problem as it is another indicator of the chaos and mayhem and what-have-you that's the real reason she's as good as dead.
[2] Phrasing more-or-less blatantly stolen from someone else, who talked about Discord offering Celestia+Luna a 'chocolate milk of
glass' during their first fight, way back when.
Orange juice? Orange Juice!?! Applebloom... I am disappoint
I was expecting it to be a glass of alcohol. Heck, her big sister is named after an alcoholic beverage.
Aunt and Uncle Orange I'm sure will approve. They're FAMILY.
I KNEW IT!
I CALLED IT!
I WAS RIGHT!
So yeah, great chapter.
>not Pearbloom
0/10
AJ could work with applebloom on becoming some sort of farmer and understanding the basics of the practice beyond the planting and harvesting. based on the climate, bloom would likely have to move eventually.
2232349 well, pears are awful. I hate pears!
And here I thought that Applebloom's talent was drinking. Aren't I oblivious
that's a relief, I thought it was something like a picture of an apple with a cancel sign on it, dear lord
7058585 an orange is almost as bad.
Sequel: It turns out her real name was Orange Blossom and she's the adopted by blow of Applejack's aunt.
Manhattan shenanigans with Babs Seed are had.
Really? I was so sure it was going to be a pear. Then, I was going to be all like "The Apple siblings are half Pear. It's canon. Blugh! " I guess I can't say that now.